The dumb $&#% people say to those LTTTC

[uwa_amanda]

OMG...don't get me started...

"You could always adopt. There are babies everywhere looking for a home."

"You can always have mine."

"You two do realize what to do, right?"

"They don't know how." <---- Someone's response when they were asked if we had children yet

"It'll happen when it's the right time." <--- Well no shit....

Need I say more? lol

 

[LaurenTCanada]

A friend of mine told me the other day that my body is just going through a weird phase right now.

OKKKK.... Are you being freaking serious? You think I should just wait it out and hope that my ovaries and brain just sort themselves out on their own!?!?

 

[itakp]

Is Christmas an excuse to say what ever the hell pops into your mind?!

I was discussing moving house with a male friend who knows about our infertility. I said that DH wants to look into the schools in the area (as the next house will be the "forever" house) to which my now ex-friend said "what are you doing that for, you may never have children". I had just finished telling him not to ask me if I am pregnant yet (for the 100th time) as being infertile hurts and depresses me. I shall be telling him no more.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Our FS said "well you can't count yourself as ttc for two years, because your cycles only regulated over the last six months!"
Seriously is she just heartless or does she just not understand her business?! So we can only count the time from when we seem to have the pcos under control!
With doctors like her i feel stupid and like giving up x

 

[LaurenTCanada]

Our FS said "well you can't count yourself as ttc for two years, because your cycles only regulated over the last six months!"
Seriously is she just heartless or does she just not understand her business?! So we can only count the time from when we seem to have the pcos under control!
With doctors like her i feel stupid and like giving up x

Don't give up, girl! Doctors are really good at making people who don't have ten years of university feel stupid. I try to just brush it off. Make it all business and nothing personal.

 

[wannabemummyb]

Thanks huni. At the time i just nodded, agreed and confirmed i would be back in6 months - she tried to extend the time to a year but i refused x

 

[Sexki11en]

Today at work I was asked if I was 'hiding a little secret'? Once i'd picked my jaw up off the floor (I mean, you'd have to be pretty certain to ask someone that wouldn't you!) I just said, no, i'm just getting fat. She even asked me if I was sure!!!

What really hurt is that I would have been 15 weeks by now and so should have been able to say yes whilst smugly rubbing my belly. Instead, I had to crawl away mortified and knowing i'll never be able to say yes.

I've had better days to be honest.

SK x

 

[phoenixrose]

That's why I started this thread, because it just goes to show how insensitive people can be sometimes...even if it is unintentional. Think before you speak people...or continue speaking for that matter.

 

[gegecomom]

I know she didn't mean it in a hurtful way because she really wants me to get pregnant..

 

[LaurenTCanada]

Today at work I was asked if I was 'hiding a little secret'? Once i'd picked my jaw up off the floor (I mean, you'd have to be pretty certain to ask someone that wouldn't you!) I just said, no, i'm just getting fat. She even asked me if I was sure!!!

What really hurt is that I would have been 15 weeks by now and so should have been able to say yes whilst smugly rubbing my belly. Instead, I had to crawl away mortified and knowing i'll never be able to say yes.

I've had better days to be honest.

SK x

I had a lady at work ask me a while back (before TTC) if I was pregnant. I gave her the EXACT same response that you gave. "No, I am just getting fat". She felt really bad afterwards, and I was glad. Bitch! Who does that!?

 

[Skoer1360]

I feel like unless someone is GIVING BIRTH, do not ask if they are pregnant.

 

[Sizzles]

That annoys me when people ask if you're pg. If I were pg and I wanted you to know, I'd have told you! It could just be that it was pre 12 weeks and I'm not wanting to share this info until things are closer to 'ok'. I only had that once at work when there were a few pregnancies and people were speculating about who the unknown pg person was. Tut!

Anyway, annoying phrases:

You are doing it right aren't you? I mean, positions and timings etc? Thanks. That's helpful! It's not like I haven't trawled the internet and read loads of books!
It'll happen in time. Really! When exactly, cos I'm trying really hard to be patient!

Then these are comments people make without thinking, but they don't know you're ttc.

I once let my guard down and said "I want one" when a colleague had announced her pg. Another colleague said "Perhaps you should ask her how she did it."
Do you want children? or When are you going to start having babies? Not really sure how to respond to these; usually something along the lines of "Oh yeah, sometime."
Colleagues talking with pg colleague and friend about uncomfortable baby bump movements; one was describing some quite uncomfortable movements her baby had made and I sort of winced, to which someone else responded "Ooh. You're putting Sizzles off!" No chance mate! It just sounds a little uncomfortable, but I'd happily suffer it for a baby!

 

[LaurenTCanada]

That annoys me when people ask if you're pg. If I were pg and I wanted you to know, I'd have told you! It could just be that it was pre 12 weeks and I'm not wanting to share this info until things are closer to 'ok'. I only had that once at work when there were a few pregnancies and people were speculating about who the unknown pg person was. Tut!

Anyway, annoying phrases:

You are doing it right aren't you? I mean, positions and timings etc? Thanks. That's helpful! It's not like I haven't trawled the internet and read loads of books!
It'll happen in time. Really! When exactly, cos I'm trying really hard to be patient!

Then these are comments people make without thinking, but they don't know you're ttc.

I once let my guard down and said "I want one" when a colleague had announced her pg. Another colleague said "Perhaps you should ask her how she did it."
Do you want children? or When are you going to start having babies? Not really sure how to respond to these; usually something along the lines of "Oh yeah, sometime."
Colleagues talking with pg colleague and friend about uncomfortable baby bump movements; one was describing some quite uncomfortable movements her baby had made and I sort of winced, to which someone else responded "Ooh. You're putting Sizzles off!" No chance mate! It just sounds a little uncomfortable, but I'd happily suffer it for a baby!

If people ever ask me when I want to start having babies I usually just reply with a, "well, we practice all the time". Then they feel uncomfortable because I have just given TMI about my sex life (even if it's not true). That usually shuts them up!

 

[Sizzles]

nice!

 

[urchin]

Good morning! Here's a run down of a little conversation I had with a friend

Her: Not seen you for a while, are you ok
Me: I miscarried, so I've been hiding away for a bit licking my wounds
Her: I know this is the wrong thing to say but...
Me: Then don't say it
Her: At least..
Me: No REALLY, don't say it
Her: At least you know you can get pregnant
Me: There is no second prize here, you either get a take-home baby or you don't. Being pregnant once doen't make me any closer to having a baby... the only thing I now have is the knowledge that so far I can't carry a baby - hardly any further forward is it?
Her: swift subject change

 

[phoenixrose]

Aww! Urchin, that really sucks! Some people just can't help themselves no matter how much warning you give them.

 

[CanadianMaple]

"I would gladly pay $15,000 for IVF because we regret my tubal and I just miss the baby giggles!"- My stepsister who was holding her happy little 1 year old. She has 3 preschoolers. She said that after I told her we have no sperm and probably have to have TESE+ICSI+IVF. We have a 0% chance of conceiving on our own. I was venting about how scared I am about all those procedures and the cost.

I love it when people say "It only takes one sperm!" Yeah, we well have none!

 

[Melbram]

I love this thread and have heard most of the usual phrases.

My friend who actually had two miscariages before getting pregnant again (currently 26 weeks) after appx 2 years continually tells me to "stop trying and it will happend" "trust me you dont really want to be pregnant" etc. I think she forgets the fact that she hated other people getting pregnant when she couldnt/miscaried and used to go mad about others smoking and drinking when pregnant saying "they dont know what its like to want a child - how can they do that when they are pregnant" now she does it herself - its so frustrating.

I found out the other day that there is a slim chance i wont now need IVF - father's response "that's good it doesnt work most of the time anyway" I didnt say it was definate or anything

 

[purple_hope]

I was walking down the hallway at work when I ran into a male coworker and he announced loudly in the hallway for all to hear "Congratulations I heard you are pregnant." Excuse me, what?! (Btw, my tummy is fit as can be, how can I possibly look pregnant?) If someone doesn't even look pregnant in the least, how could you possibly accuse them of it? I just don't get it.

What is worse than being a LTTCer and having someone accuse you of being pregnant. And THEN not believe you when you say that you are not. Come on, really?!

 

[MrsHowley81]

I keep hearing a certain Phrase quite a lot recently, in fact for the last 3 years every
one keeps saying "YOU WILL HAVE A BABY"!!! How do they know It's like predicting a lottery win, It just tells me that they don't understand at all. My SIL said it yesterday while she was holding her baby, and it was like she had kicked me in the stomach, of course she will never know what it feels like, but because she took 12 months to fall PG naturally she thinks she knows..... but I will never fall PG naturally and IVF is only 25% success rate, as I was telling her this she said I just ASSUMED it was 100% guaranteed, how stupid nothing is guaranteed in this life anyway #rantover