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The losers club
- Thread starter Katt
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x Michelle x
loves her babies
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Aww that's fab!!! Will you get Maria back straight away or will she stay at her dads a few more days?
Yay Nats glad you're on the mend! 
What's this thread in BC? I'm going to go have a nose now..
Lol Sapphire @ your DH in the cinema.. So counselling is a no then
My DH was so childish last night.. You know that over-exaggeration thing that children do? "DH, I feel like I'm the one making all the effort here, you're sitting back and saying how great it is that I'M making all these changes but you're changing nothing and expect it all to just fall in your lap. I'm trying to be patient. Did you read ANY of those short articles I printed out and left on the dining room table?" DH: "When do I have the time???" Me: "What about when I was at pole class last night, then went for a drink? You didn't pick up one scrap of food on the highchair or even load the dishwasher, and just played Xbox. What about then? Or when you take your phone to the toilet to "read" when you go for a poo, why not then? Or in bed?" DH: "FINE I'LL JUST NEVER HAVE ANY TIME TO MYSELF AND NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF EVER AGAIN *SULKSULKSULKSULK*"
This went on for the rest of the evening, with pretty much EVERYTHING. And he'd just been out with his friend to the cinema, came home in a good mood, and I mentioned the dread "sex" word. I swear either he's repulsed by me (if I'm on the pole he'll look away or play on his phone/xbox.. Even if I ask him to take a picture it takes about 3 attempts as while I flip upside-down to get into position he'll start playing a game!) and he makes every excuse under the sun to not have sex with me or look at me without clothes on... So either I'm ugly and repulsive or he's gay. I made both of these suggestions and he got arsey. Tough shit, I'm fed up of it. (Maybe I should've taken up that offer I was given.. No.. NO, don't even think that that. Marriage is sacred and all that...)
What's this thread in BC? I'm going to go have a nose now..
Lol Sapphire @ your DH in the cinema.. So counselling is a no then
My DH was so childish last night.. You know that over-exaggeration thing that children do? "DH, I feel like I'm the one making all the effort here, you're sitting back and saying how great it is that I'M making all these changes but you're changing nothing and expect it all to just fall in your lap. I'm trying to be patient. Did you read ANY of those short articles I printed out and left on the dining room table?" DH: "When do I have the time???" Me: "What about when I was at pole class last night, then went for a drink? You didn't pick up one scrap of food on the highchair or even load the dishwasher, and just played Xbox. What about then? Or when you take your phone to the toilet to "read" when you go for a poo, why not then? Or in bed?" DH: "FINE I'LL JUST NEVER HAVE ANY TIME TO MYSELF AND NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF EVER AGAIN *SULKSULKSULKSULK*"
This went on for the rest of the evening, with pretty much EVERYTHING. And he'd just been out with his friend to the cinema, came home in a good mood, and I mentioned the dread "sex" word. I swear either he's repulsed by me (if I'm on the pole he'll look away or play on his phone/xbox.. Even if I ask him to take a picture it takes about 3 attempts as while I flip upside-down to get into position he'll start playing a game!) and he makes every excuse under the sun to not have sex with me or look at me without clothes on... So either I'm ugly and repulsive or he's gay. I made both of these suggestions and he got arsey. Tough shit, I'm fed up of it. (Maybe I should've taken up that offer I was given.. No.. NO, don't even think that that. Marriage is sacred and all that...)
(thanks btw Pole pics, what pole pics?! Me and Nats will be lesbos with you if you vixie Seriously though, sorry he's being a dick. My DH is refusing to have sex with me too, I think he thinks I will trick him into impregnating me. I did consider putting pinholes in condoms to be fair The sex thing may not even have anything to do with you, although I know it must feel like that. I think it's common for men to go off sex when they're depressed. I really don't think men see stuff the way we do, when they finish work they sit down and relax - erm, do we ever finish 'work'?
Yay for Rory's kitchen!
Woop woop, glad you're getting out Natata, you must be relieved
Seriously though, sorry he's being a dick. My DH is refusing to have sex with me too, I think he thinks I will trick him into impregnating me. I did consider putting pinholes in condoms to be fair The sex thing may not even have anything to do with you, although I know it must feel like that. I think it's common for men to go off sex when they're depressed. I really don't think men see stuff the way we do, when they finish work they sit down and relax - erm, do we ever finish 'work'?Yay for Rory's kitchen!
Woop woop, glad you're getting out Natata, you must be relieved
Natsku
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Hehe pinholes in the condoms
The pole pics were on another thread
I took one of the dressings off one of my cuts cos it was half hanging off and annoying me. They cut along the old cut from my appendix so thats one less scar so thats nice. And its tiny, like an inch long. And dissolvable stitches yay
The pole pics were on another thread
I took one of the dressings off one of my cuts cos it was half hanging off and annoying me. They cut along the old cut from my appendix so thats one less scar so thats nice. And its tiny, like an inch long. And dissolvable stitches yay
I shall post some pics just for your benefit sapphire 
Here's a quick overview anyway (sorry to those I've moaned to already):
So that's my depressing life in thirty seconds. MOVING ON... (i hate talking about it now)
The scars will fade Nats
Here's a quick overview anyway (sorry to those I've moaned to already):
Well it's been an issue for a while (I wont go into it all as I bored everyone else with it on another thread lol) but he was NEVER having sex with me (as in i'd jump on him and he'd push me away) always blaming it on being "tired", having a "headache", "needing a poo" 
and being "stressed". For YEARS. But he'd happily have a wank. Now I don't allow porn in our relationship. Each to their own, really, but for us it's a no-no. Maybe a different story if I w asn't offering him it on a plate or doing the exact same stuff he watched/him having us on film etc. But he happily spent years behind my back (when planning our wedding, moving into first proper house, when I was ill, when I was pregnant, when LO was born etc) either watching it while I was out, while he was watching LO so I could see a friend, while we were sleeping in seperate rooms when he had a chest infection (he was allowed to go to the docs for antibiotics but I just had to deal with it) and on his phone in the toilets at work. He slipped up and I found out. He was taking active steps to cover his tracks and was swearing blind he wasn't doing it (as well as gambling behind my back and stuff as well) so yeaaahh..He was saying he felt inadequate and we improved for a bit when I was showing him that he wasn't, but the excuses have come back out again. Someone came onto me the other day (or it might have been purely accidental and innocent, I don't know, it probably was, but I backed off either way). I've never ONCE felt the urge to cheat on my husband, but you know what? I was tempted. I wouldn't do it, but I was that damned desperate to be made to feel like a woman again, and not a mug/housewife/babysitter/cleaner/landlord (it's MY house!) This on top of putting work first ALL the time. He's always there all hours, constnatly on his phone (if not for work stuff just browsing the net or playing games, I practically have to book an appointment to talk to him and even then it's interrupted with him just picking up his phone and doing anything on it to not interact with me) and yeah... Lol.
ETA: I would never cheat though. I'd sooner leave (which I really don't want to do) than cheat. It's not right. I want to make things right between us again.
and being "stressed". For YEARS. But he'd happily have a wank. Now I don't allow porn in our relationship. Each to their own, really, but for us it's a no-no. Maybe a different story if I w asn't offering him it on a plate or doing the exact same stuff he watched/him having us on film etc. But he happily spent years behind my back (when planning our wedding, moving into first proper house, when I was ill, when I was pregnant, when LO was born etc) either watching it while I was out, while he was watching LO so I could see a friend, while we were sleeping in seperate rooms when he had a chest infection (he was allowed to go to the docs for antibiotics but I just had to deal with it) and on his phone in the toilets at work. He slipped up and I found out. He was taking active steps to cover his tracks and was swearing blind he wasn't doing it (as well as gambling behind my back and stuff as well) so yeaaahh..He was saying he felt inadequate and we improved for a bit when I was showing him that he wasn't, but the excuses have come back out again. Someone came onto me the other day (or it might have been purely accidental and innocent, I don't know, it probably was, but I backed off either way). I've never ONCE felt the urge to cheat on my husband, but you know what? I was tempted. I wouldn't do it, but I was that damned desperate to be made to feel like a woman again, and not a mug/housewife/babysitter/cleaner/landlord (it's MY house!) This on top of putting work first ALL the time. He's always there all hours, constnatly on his phone (if not for work stuff just browsing the net or playing games, I practically have to book an appointment to talk to him and even then it's interrupted with him just picking up his phone and doing anything on it to not interact with me) and yeah... Lol.ETA: I would never cheat though. I'd sooner leave (which I really don't want to do) than cheat. It's not right. I want to make things right between us again.
So that's my depressing life in thirty seconds. MOVING ON... (i hate talking about it now)
The scars will fade Nats
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No more pole pics I promise!
x Michelle x
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Clearly gay!!
Ooo sexy mama! He sounds a lot like my DH with the never talking thing. I actually get told off for talking sometimes - and he works away every other week so I'm on my own a lot It's not on to do stuff behind your back, especially to that degree. Sounds like he needs some help, if he's man enough to accept it.
He sounds a lot like my DH with the never talking thing. I actually get told off for talking sometimes - and he works away every other week so I'm on my own a lot It's not on to do stuff behind your back, especially to that degree. Sounds like he needs some help, if he's man enough to accept it.Counselling went down the pan unfortunately, and there's the issue of no-one to look after LO if we did try again. he agrees to do stuff in our own time (DIY at-home therapy, if you will) but always finds excuses not to do it and it's me doing all the work again. For him it's just easier to make excuses as to why the world obviously hates him and he's such a failure and blah blah blah.. I'm so FED UP of it!! I'm barely able to keep my head above water for the sake of my daughter, and I don't want to be dragged back down again.
Not such a good day for me today. Flicking back and forth between the prices of mobile homes back down South (all I would be able to afford if this place would sell in the current market) and looking at suicide/depression self-help websites. Yesterday it was marriage/sex-life help websites and other things in the "improvement" side, and the day before that it was dieting/toning/appetite suppression stuff. I tend to just keep them all open in the browser now and switch between the lot of them depending on what mood DH has put me in that day.
The not talking thing is infuriating isn't it!! He accuses me of talking "at" him, but when he won't answer me (I mean literally sit there with his arms folded and sulk, and when I BEG and say "please say something!" he says "SOMETHING.") i then just have to assume what he's thinking instead, and try and move on from there.. only for him to say he can't talk to me as I only talk "at" him again I've tried NOT talking, and he's fine with sitting in silence and playing on his phone! I don't think he'd even notice if I wasn't here as long as he has a connection to the internet
Not such a good day for me today. Flicking back and forth between the prices of mobile homes back down South (all I would be able to afford if this place would sell in the current market) and looking at suicide/depression self-help websites. Yesterday it was marriage/sex-life help websites and other things in the "improvement" side, and the day before that it was dieting/toning/appetite suppression stuff. I tend to just keep them all open in the browser now and switch between the lot of them depending on what mood DH has put me in that day.
The not talking thing is infuriating isn't it!!
He accuses me of talking "at" him, but when he won't answer me (I mean literally sit there with his arms folded and sulk, and when I BEG and say "please say something!" he says "SOMETHING.") i then just have to assume what he's thinking instead, and try and move on from there.. only for him to say he can't talk to me as I only talk "at" him again I've tried NOT talking, and he's fine with sitting in silence and playing on his phone! I don't think he'd even notice if I wasn't here as long as he has a connection to the internet
x Michelle x
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I know when my OH is stressed he is completely off sex, well stress and me being pregnant puts him off! We didn't have sex for 7 months when I found out I was pregnant with T, we were moving and had lost £35k on our flat and it was hard on him. I wasn't fussed about the no sex, I was not a horny pregnant woman! I feel like my sex drive is coming back, then I realize both kids are asleep together and I'd much rather be asleep too
Malc is out tonight so my sis is coming to help me and I'm making tortilla pizzas, they are yummy and so easy! I copy my favorite pizza express toppings instead of what's in the recipe. https://www.tescorealfood.com/recipes/tortilla-pizzas.html
Malc is out tonight so my sis is coming to help me and I'm making tortilla pizzas, they are yummy and so easy! I copy my favorite pizza express toppings instead of what's in the recipe. https://www.tescorealfood.com/recipes/tortilla-pizzas.html
I'm originally from Hertfordshire but I'm in West Yorkshire 
I moved up here for Uni and was planning to move back down when I graduated in 2010 (thus told DH not to move up here..) but he followed me up here anyway and got a secure job so we ended up settling here.
Yeah I know stress affects his sex drive, but he makes himself more stressed, almost deliberately, so he can whine about how life is so hard on him. He bites off more than he can chew at work and spends all hours there, and so everyone allows him to do it and piles more work on him, and he wont say No to anyone there.. He'll happily neglect our needs though. He refuses to take any steps to change his life for the better. It's like he thrives off being on the brink of giving up, as his life has "always been like that" and he says he "goes into self-destruct mode" every couple of years It's like trying to interact with a brick wall!
Tortilla pizzas sound lovely!!! damn, i'm hungry now, Lol x
I moved up here for Uni and was planning to move back down when I graduated in 2010 (thus told DH not to move up here..) but he followed me up here anyway and got a secure job so we ended up settling here.Yeah I know stress affects his sex drive, but he makes himself more stressed, almost deliberately, so he can whine about how life is so hard on him. He bites off more than he can chew at work and spends all hours there, and so everyone allows him to do it and piles more work on him, and he wont say No to anyone there.. He'll happily neglect our needs though. He refuses to take any steps to change his life for the better. It's like he thrives off being on the brink of giving up, as his life has "always been like that" and he says he "goes into self-destruct mode" every couple of years
It's like trying to interact with a brick wall!Tortilla pizzas sound lovely!!! damn, i'm hungry now, Lol x
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