Pinklizzy- A lot of what you posted I felt as well! And I still feel guilt as well. Maybe even more now that I have accomplished breastfeeding my daughter. With my first I quit after 6 weeks and felt horrible about it. Every little problem he had I blamed Formula. When I found out I was pregnant with #2 I was terrified to have another child because of breastfeeding! Kind of silly really all the things to worry about I worried about that the most. I quit with him after 9 days because of the fear that we were going down that same road as I did with #1. He was a big baby, still is really and I was scared it was because of formula. Which is even more silly since #1 was formula fed and hes never been chubby ever and still a string bean. And baby sis who is exclusively breastfed is a butter ball! 21 pounds at 6 months old. Her second chin sits on top of her first so formula making fat babies is bologna! Before her I also stopped going to mommy groups because I was scared of being judged or felt guilty, jealous and sad when Id see moms breastfeed. Even now sometimes when I see someone breastfeeding a toddler I feel sorry for my toddlers. Even though seeing their personalities Im not so sure I could imagine breastfeeding them now But now that Im the breastfeeding mom at the playgroups Ive noticed how distant some moms will get or how they will explain why they arent bfing even though You didnt ask. I also tell them I know exactly how they feel and Ive been there too. No matter if I bf my daughter till shes three Ill always relate to bottle feeding mothers more I think. And before my daughter I use to imagine these bfing moms sitting around and bashing bottle moms so it made me feel self conscience but in reality Ive never been anywhere even to bfing playdates that moms sat around bashing formula feeding moms. Breastfeeding my daughter has been HARD. It took THREE months for it to get easy and pain free. Im glad this is my last child as I cant imagine going through that again but I forced myself not to give up this time. As much as being able to breastfeed my daughter has healed me in some ways its hurt too to compare it to her brothers journeys. Maybe once our kids are older we wont ever worry or cry or feel bad about how they were fed again. I hate that any of us ever had to feel like that.