Wow, I'm really not even sure where to start with this one....
First of all, to the poster who was approached, I am so very sorry you were the chosen one to receive such a message.
To the lurker who finds it upsetting that we talk about miscarriages on this thread:
I have no living children. DH and I have been ttc our first for almost four years, since January of 2009. We lost our first baby (yes, it was a BABY) at 12 weeks on Mothers Day of 2009. We lost our second BABY at 8 weeks in March of 2010. We then went through a long, brutal, invasive medical investigation trying to find out the reason we'd lost two BABIES, and no reason was found. After that we couldn't get pregnant anymore. We started IUIs in February 2011. I went through nightly hormone shots in my belly, daily trans-vaginal ultrasounds and blood tests to monitor my ovarian response. And then instead of having sex, my husband had to go jerk off in a cup so his sperm could be spun and washed and then injected into my uterus by a nurse while naked from the waist down and with my feet in stirrups. We got pregnant with our third BABY on the third IUI and lost it a week later in August of 2011. In January of 2012 we started IVF. That meant twice daily shots in my belly, more daily trans-vag ultrasounds and bloodwork, the pain of having my ovaries grow from the size of almonds to the size of grapefruits, the pain of a surgical procedure under general anesthesia to have a giant needle shoved through my vaginal wall and into my ovaries to suck out my eggs, one by one, while my husband jacked off into a cup again. My eggs were then injected with his sperm, one by one, left overnight in a petri dish while we waited to find out how many fertilized. Then I started nightly shots of more hormones into my ass, waited 5 days to find out if any of our embryos survived, and broke out into hives from the anxiety of trying to decide how many to transfer back into my uterus. On transfer day we went into a room with at least 4 people in it, with my vagina on display for all of them to see while we tried to make light of the situation, transferred a couple embryos back into my uterus, and waited a hellish 10 days to find out if I was pregnant. We got pregnant with our fourth BABY on our first IVF in February 2012, and lost that baby a week later.
At this point we've been through 6 rounds of injectable hormones, 5 IUIs, 3 fresh IVF cycles and 1 frozen IVF cycle. We have spent over $20,000 of our own money on invasive medical procedures in the last two years to try and get pregnant. The only reason that figure isn't ten times higher is because we are one of the very few fortunate ones whose insurance covers some infertility procedures - most couples are not so fortunate. And we have had four miscarriages. I have four babies whom I have never met. I have four babies who I never got to hold, smell, kiss, comfort. Four babies who I never got to send off to their first day of kindergarten. Four babies who I never got to take trick-or-treating on nights like tonight. Four babies who I will never see graduate from high school, go to college, fall in love, get married.... And we are faced with the very real possibility, indeed a strong probability at this point, that these four babies are the only children we will ever have.
This is my journey. This is who I am. This is my story. This is what it's like to be infertile. This is what it's like to be in the 1% of women who suffer from recurrent miscarriage. To leave any part of my story out would be to deny part of who I am. It would be to deny the fact that I have lost four babies. It would be to perpetuate the myth that everyone gets pregnant as soon as a man looks at her, instead of the truth that 1 in 8 couples suffer from infertility. It would be to perpetuate the myth that every pregnancy has a happy ending, instead of the truth that 1 in 4 women will suffer the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death at some point in her life. And it would mean leaving other women as confused and hurt and scared and alone as I was the first time I lost a baby.
Some people have difficulty getting pregnant. Some babies die before they're born. And if you don't like it, you can fuck off, really.
So is yours, Milty!
Actually, I hadn't really thought of it that way, ever! Now, not only does it take the pressure off, but I feel like I've been given a little jab of hope! Thanks Milty!!! You can't imagine how much I appreiciate your post!...
I remember when Ready started this thread it was for us LTTTCers to have a place to go where it did not matter if we're primary IF, secondary IF, on baby number one or baby number 20. We could come here chat, and vent what is happening, well sadly chemicals, miscarriages etc are a sad part of life. I've had 3 back to back this year and to think it bothers some one really pisses me off. 
Lurk elsewhere and leave us alone
Pathetic, really!
Sorry to whomever received that! To who ever finds talk about chemicals and miscarriages upsetting, well then there is hardly a thread that won't be upsetting because the site is littered with talk of chemicals and miscarriages of every kind! It pops up everywhere, it's in ladies signatures,it's even discussed on the pregnancy boards... Because its the reality of so many women. You can stick your head in the sand and pretend it never happens ....good luck with that!
