the things you worry about?

[jtr2803]

I've been musing a lot over the last few weeks and besides the obvious worry of whether we can actually conceive, I realised there were lots of other things that niggle at me! Some are genuine concerns but some are very tongue in cheek......

Nursery or chilminder? What if I can't find a good one?
How much money should we have left after bills?
What if I end up looking like a beached whale?
I love pate!
I don't think I have room for anymore stretch marks
What if I end up mildly psychopathic when I'm tired and hubby makes stupid man remark?
How will I cope without going snorkeling for a few years?
Baby = more in law visits
I'm gonna need a bigger car
I can't bare the thought of waters breaking all over my stunning memory foam mattress
What if baby gets Hubby's poor eyesight and my psoriasis?!

Oh I'm sure I'll add.....what are your secret musings/fears, both serious and not?

 

[Sakura15]

lol @ the mattress!

Childcare is a concern for me too. The norm here is a live-in helper - it is actually way cheaper than any other option. But we worry about being part of an exploitive system, and then we would have another person in our house all the time......but unless we plan to move back west anytime soon, that's the way it's going to have to be.

I also worry about the beached whale part....some women look soooo lovely. But every now and then I see someone who looks like she must be carrying quints and seems oh so tired and worn and unhappy...

Definitely worried about hormone-induced tension/fights between me and OH. Things are usually calm, but I'll admit I can be moody sometimes! With pregnancy in the mix I can't see that helping...

Not looking forward to all my kids (students) asking questions or talking about me being preggo. As much as I love them I definitely prefer to keep my personal life persona. It already annoys me when they ask about a new hairstyle!

Traveling is definitely one of the perks of living in Asia, and I do worry about how having a baby (or two or three) will change that over the next couple of years.

Oh, and no sushi!

 

[bakedbean]

Haha, that foam mattress one is funny Maybe put a protective cover over it for the last month?
This is a good idea for a thread

My worries are;

1. Mostly i'm worried about the birth, more specifically, tearing
2. The pain after birth and looking different 'down there' as well as stretch marks and a wobbly saggy belly
3. I'm worried about how i will cope being pregnant/having a young child in my last semester of university.
4. Childcare! We don't have family around us, will we be able to afford childcare?
5. Are we really ready to have a child? What if we're rushing into this? We both feel ready for next year but i can't help overthinking things!
6. Will I be a good mum? (I know my OH will be a good dad)
7. What will i be like at the birth? What if my OH goes away from my head end and faints at the sight of my bulging, bleeding vagina
8. Who's going to pluck my odd toe hairs when i can't reach them over my belly?
9. Will we struggle financially?
10. I hope the cat doesn't pee on any of the baby stuff.
11. Family politics! aka, my mother.
12. Breastfeeding. I want to do it but i just feel weird about the thought of having a boob hanging out and it being a food... Or even OH watching me pump it lol. Maybe my thought's on this will change once i'm pregnant.
13. Bleeding after birth and how long it will last and having a yucky sanitary pad stuck to me all day every day. I'm very much a tampon person!

 

[jtr2803]

Lol ladies, thanks for joining in!

OMG sakura, no sushi! I read parma ham also off limits, gutted!

BF one of my worries as I'd really like to but worry I can't or won't get the hang of it. I feel your pain on toe hairs bakedbean, I've told hubby he'll be in charge of making various bits fuzz free

Eeww, sanitary pads....

Why are we doing this again?! ;-)

 

[xstitcher87]

Fears:

1. Not being able to concieve in the first place
2. Pregnancy itself, being sick, scared about how I will handle it
3. Labour and Delivery, tearing, stitches, recovery etc
4. Finances
5. Childcare options
6. Breastfeeding
7. Will I ever be able to travel internationally again?
8. Will I be able to maintain my own identity? My individuality?
9. How will a baby affect my marriage?
10. Are we TTC too late? or too soon? Is it the right time?
11. Will I be a good mum?
12. Post-natal depression (I've had 'regualr' depression before and it sucked arse)
13. Will my husband regret having a baby? (he has pretty much left the decision to me..)
14. No soft cheese
15. No more grande allegro (large jumps) in ballet class for the 9 months + post partum recovery

Why are we doing this to ourselves again? That's right, so we can hold those tiny humans, squish those little cheeks and watch them grow up!

 

[cupcake.]

Love this thread! Some are hilarious!

some of my worries:
1. I'm super worried about telling my dance coaches. we have all our big performances in january/february and well, hopefully by then i'll be too pregnant to perform. But they will have to change the choreography to adapt to performing with a dancer less then.. worry about telling them more than telling family actually haha
2. I can be pretty moody, soo i bet OH will have moments where he'll wish he hadn't gotten me pregnant
3. Shaving! I hate being hairy and i don't know what i'll do when i can't shave my legs and other parts!
4. Bleeding and not being able to use tampons.. i really hate pads haha
5. I hope i won't be getting morning sickness too bad. Not looking forward very much to being sick for weeks.. also i guess it's hard to hide the first tri if you're being sick all the time

 

[callmedan]

love this thread! glad to know im not the only one with strange worries!

1. getting pregnant, how long will it take, how will i feel if it takes a long time?
2. being pregnant! hiding it from others, i dont want to tell anyone for as long as i can
3. germs when im pregnant, i work in a reception class and i worry about all the icky snotty kid germs getting at me!!
4. sorry i know this is controversial but i hate animals!!!!! and stray animal germs worry me too
5. BIRTH! how will i cope? what if i poo? and dont even get me started on tearing!
6. the pain of labour, what if i think im nearly there and im like 1cm dialated or something :S
7. will i be a good mum? will i know what to do?
8. things to do with the baby, will i have things to do in the day like play classes etc i need to get clued up on these things!
9. will i be sad that my oh is in work all day and im at home, ill want him with me!

hmm.. i think ill have a think about this and add to this later

 

[LucyLadyBug]

1. My hormone and bleeds keep being irregular because of stress and my contraceptive minipill, so I worry if I'm pregnant but then disappointed when I'm not.
2. What if when we do start trying to conceive, I then can't?
3. Remembering what foods I can and can't eat (I like soft cheeses and chinese food :s)
4. I have CFS and lots of muscle pain so simultaneously scared I'll just be a tired ball of ache for 9 months, but already have an idea of what that's like a little so think I should cope. (But my partners have extra worry for me).
5. Feeling guilty because OH1 wants to try now, my hormones want to try now, but OH2 isn't ready and would never rush him. and we've already plotted that it makes more sense to wait. So both guilty for waiting and not wanting to wait at the same time.
6. I love my cats, but worried they'll do something similar to what my manager's did - peed in their babies pushchair.
7. My ideal birth plan involves a water birth but I'm worried about one not being available at the hospital when I need it. But not sure how easy doing a home one would be.
8. Scared about how best to announce it to people, though everyone we care about knows we are in a non traditional relationship, so shouldn't be judged too much. Thinking we might just only tell very close friends and family each baby's actual paternity.
9. Me and my two partners are all very active in the social dance community, and scene leaders for a sub genre called blues. Don't know how long into the pregnancy I'll keep being able to teach/social dance/attend events, and how best we can maintain our presence after

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

1.) Will I get a bad sleeper this time? I like my sleep.
2.) Will I get stretch marks?
3.) Will I be unable to get my stomach back after a second round? (it's been hard enough the first time!)
4.) Will I have a C-section? I'd rather tear again!
5.) Will I have to give birth while hubby is gone?

I think most of my worries are vanity related... definitely different from my worries with the first! (birth, finances, etc)

 

[Flossie_Aus]

1. What if it takes a long time for us to conceive?

2. What if we have a miscarriage/stillbirth/complications due to my lupus?

3. Post-natal depression: Will we recognise the signs?

3. Am I going to have enough energy to be a mum?

4. Am I capable of being selfless enough to be a mum?

5. How am I going to survive the sleep deprivation?

6. Are we financially ready for this?

No matter how much reassurance hubby, friends & family provide me with, I'm still scared! And yet I want that squishy little bundle more than anything

 

[MissyW]

.

 

[Flossie_Aus]

- How will I give my dog the same amount of attention when the baby is really little? We'll be able to go for walks but how will I cuddle both the baby and the dog plenty?

This, a million times over! My dogs are my furbabies and are stuck to me like glue. I'm terrified that I'll love them less when I come home with a baby!

 

[MissyW]

.

 

[jtr2803]

Sorry but I did chuckle at the pierced nipple one, that's brilliant!.

I started working on my garden yesterday.....am I seriously going to be able to keep it nice with a small one?

I'm worried I going to become the sort of person whose friends all hide her Facebook feed because I'm just all baby did this, here's another PIC of baby, baby poohed! Yeah, we all have them...pretty boring!

 

[Symphony7]

My biggest fears:

1. What if I have to sell my horse or can't find time to ride?
2. What if the dog and baby don't fit well together in this little house?
3. What if I get PND? I have had depression in the past and don't want to go back into a dark place.
4. What if I do t have anyone to talk to during the day and don't like it?
5. I'm a teacher...what if I have terrible morning sickness or have to pee a million times during pregnancy? I can't just leave the kids to find a bathroom.
6. People coming over to stay after baby is born...I want my mom here, but she lives out of the country and would have to fly in. I wish she still lived in the area so I knew she was close but wouldn't be staying at my house.
7. I'm not afraid of birth or anything like that...but I can't stand the thought of the bleeding afterbirth. I HATE periods and haven't had one in four years because of BC so I'm going to be really bummed about bleeding again...I hate the feeling sooooo much.

These are all silly...but I'm most worried about juggling the pets and baby as well as not feeling lonely or depressed staying home with baby by myself all day.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

My biggest fears:

1. What if I have to sell my horse or can't find time to ride?

If it helps, one of my previous co-workers has a daughter that's between 3-4 now and she still has her horse. Now she posts pictures of her daughter riding on him, and it's adorable!

 

[wtbmummy]

Hmmm my fears.

1, should we even have a second child as I love my little man so much.
2, how will i cope if i have (another) bad pregnancy as will not be able to sleep n chill as will have to see to ds.
3, what if I don't fall straight away (we concived ds on our one n only time unprotected)
4, how will i cope with sleepless nights with two?
5, will ds like a little bro or sis or have awful jealously.
6, can we afford for me to have two years off work and still get a morgtage in 5years time?

Thats the ones off the top of my head but there are many many more. I guess its a bit diff than some being our second as overall I dont have some of the worries. My waters broke in bed but didnt spill out as had pjs on so managed to run (hobble) to bathroom before it spilt everywhere. I had a VERY long labour n carried on going until my waters broke n even ended in surgery. Had a nasty infection afterwards and lost go much blood. Tbh i dont think it could be that bad again so my worries are more about ds and financal

 

[Uhlease]

I think all these worries are so normal! Especially since it's all the unknown! Even for TTC #2 ladies...each pregnancy and child is so different. Hmm, here are mine::

-The changes to our relationship
-That my lady parts will be forever damaged
-Right now we live far from family, so we will essentially be on our own. (That is something we are currently talking about though, ttc timing wise, who knows!)
-I haven't thrown up in 20 years....so really unsure about if I'll be nauseous ugh
-Um, I guess in general, how easy or tough the ttc journey will be
-I'm sure there's more!

 

[AngelofTroy]

Terrified I'll have awful sickness again, (I was signed off work for 2 weeks even on anti sickness tablets last time)

Worried about telling OH's family (I am actually partly delaying TTC until after SIL's wedding in June because I don't want to be accused of stealing her thunder at the wedding!!!)

Worried I'll be a crap mum to my toddler if I struggle with pregnancy again

Worried we'll never get our house in order if I can't participate in the DIY properly

 

[EmmySocks]

My worries:

- childcare when i go back to work after maternity leave. how much will it cost me? will they look after my baby how i would?
- pregnancy and will i be able to stay with my class while i'm pregnant...? (i work in a high risk class) will it be safe to stay in my class? will i want to stay even if it's not best for me or my baby? (the idea of leaving them makes me upset even now)
- doing something that hurts the baby (like falling over) while i'm pregnant
- my husband changing his mind... (he's happy with the idea at the moment and we're waiting to check that doesn't change!)
- not having enough money.
- parents being unhappy to find out that i'm pregnant (i know they want me to wait - even though i'll be 25!)
- being a pregnant bridesmaid (been asked to be a bridesmaid october 2016... she now knows and told us not to change our plans on account of their wedding so we'll just see what happens) or worse - not being able to go to the wedding because i'm too pregnant or in labour... (also a possibility...)
- being rubbish at breastfeeding.
- pain. and bleeding. and birth complications. and all that lovely stuff