The truths of ttc being in your mid 30's or older ..........

[sunbeam]

god no, ur not old hun. i had 6 kids after turning 34yr. and id hardly say size 18 is massively over weight. good luck in ur ttc journey and so sorry for ur loss hun

 

[lynlouc]

Really,Really.... BIG THANKYOU'S to all of you for commenting on this thread , having read all your lovely comments i feel so much better and am going to try and be more relaxed about the whole thing and see what happens , again thankyou your support is greatly appreciated xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[CeeDee]

Sorry for your loss. I am a overweight at 5'1" 135lbs, but my doctor said nothing about my weight. She was more concerned about me getting a lot of exercise and proper nutrition. She prescribed prenatals and sent me own the way.

I can't remember where I read it, but they say if you carry your weight below the waist than its a good thing for your baby. There is nothing wrong with loosing weight, but if you've already gotten pregnant at your current size than it shouldn't be a problem.

 

[HopefulInNC]

My doctor didn't tell me I couldn't get pregnant if I was overweight but he did say that women who are overweight produce a higher amount of a certain hormone that has been linked to miscarriages. He tested it for it when we started our IVF journey but I don't recall the name of it or what is considered a normal level. I can ask when I go back on Monday though. Mine was on the lower end of the yellow scale (as in green=good, yellow, red=bad) so he wasn't overly concerned but suggested I lose a few pounds. He was very sensitive about it though. He was actually beating around the bush and I finally said...Let's cut to the chase. Are you telling me that I need to lose weight? If so, just say it!

Good luck!

 

[Love2011]

Sorry for your loss. I am a overweight at 5'1" 135lbs, but my doctor said nothing about my weight. She was more concerned about me getting a lot of exercise and proper nutrition. She prescribed prenatals and sent me own the way.

I can't remember where I read it, but they say if you carry your weight below the waist than its a good thing for your baby. There is nothing wrong with loosing weight, but if you've already gotten pregnant at your current size than it shouldn't be a problem.

Some docs are ageist, but actually sometimes are biological age is younger than our actual age if we eat healthy & exercise. The average age Of menopause in the uk is approx 52 years & the average age of 1st pregnancy is 32 yrs. Alot of drs from 20-50 yrs ago were trained at a time when they believed that over 30 was menopausal etc as the average age was more in the early 20s so you encounter some old prejudice. Being overweight at any age,however has been researched & it does apparently help if it's at possible to get to a weight which is more comfortable in pregnancy.

I'm 41 & 15 weeks pregnant with natural twins, 1st pregnancy , I agree with the drs advice above which was more helpful. Do both take pregnancy vits, eat as healthy as u can pre & during pregnancy which should also improve your energy levels & prime ur body for pregnancy & you will naturally lose some of the extra weight. I wish I'd exercised before pregnancy to strengthen my arms back & legs as I will be carrying a growing 11-15 pounds of babies + I need to eat extra healthy food for 3 of us

Your blood volume increases by 50-100% depending on how many your carrying ie so this can also give additional weight. The amniotic fluid (water around the babies) has it's own weight & your waistline can go up up to 20 inches

Abdominal ultrasounds are done through your belly to monitor the babies as they get bigger. If you need an elective or emergency Caesarian it is a little bit more difficult to do the surgery easier with a few inches of fat to cut through

Equally being too skinny reduces the chances of success ie not giving the baby enough food to survive the pregnancy. It's better to put weight on during the pregnancy with healthy wholefoods . It's possible to sort everything out when pregnant so I wouldnt worry. But do give the babies & yourself the best chance of a comfortable uncomplicated pregnancy by following some of their advice

I was about a stone over my usual weight & 12-14 when I got pregnant, but I'm eating healthy & I'm allowed to put on weight now as bigger twins are more likely to survive pregnancy. But Im advising junk foods or fatty foods as they will just get no nutrition & empty calories

So from a

 

[sarahincanada]

Sorry for your loss. I am a overweight at 5'1" 135lbs, but my doctor said nothing about my weight. She was more concerned about me getting a lot of exercise and proper nutrition. She prescribed prenatals and sent me own the way.

I can't remember where I read it, but they say if you carry your weight below the waist than its a good thing for your baby. There is nothing wrong with loosing weight, but if you've already gotten pregnant at your current size than it shouldn't be a problem.

Some docs are ageist, but actually sometimes are biological age is younger than our actual age if we eat healthy & exercise. The average age Of menopause in the uk is approx 52 years & the average age of 1st pregnancy is 32 yrs. Alot of drs from 20-50 yrs ago were trained at a time when they believed that over 30 was menopausal etc as the average age was more in the early 20s so you encounter some old prejudice. Being overweight at any age,however has been researched & it does apparently help if it's at possible to get to a weight which is more comfortable in pregnancy.

I'm 41 & 15 weeks pregnant with natural twins, 1st pregnancy , I agree with the drs advice above which was more helpful. Do both take pregnancy vits, eat as healthy as u can pre & during pregnancy which should also improve your energy levels & prime ur body for pregnancy & you will naturally lose some of the extra weight. I wish I'd exercised before pregnancy to strengthen my arms back & legs as I will be carrying a growing 11-15 pounds of babies + I need to eat extra healthy food for 3 of us

Your blood volume increases by 50-100% depending on how many your carrying ie so this can also give additional weight. The amniotic fluid (water around the babies) has it's own weight & your waistline can go up up to 20 inches

Abdominal ultrasounds are done through your belly to monitor the babies as they get bigger. If you need an elective or emergency Caesarian it is a little bit more difficult to do the surgery easier with a few inches of fat to cut through

Equally being too skinny reduces the chances of success ie not giving the baby enough food to survive the pregnancy. It's better to put weight on during the pregnancy with healthy wholefoods . It's possible to sort everything out when pregnant so I wouldnt worry. But do give the babies & yourself the best chance of a comfortable uncomplicated pregnancy by following some of their advice

I was about a stone over my usual weight & 12-14 when I got pregnant, but I'm eating healthy & I'm allowed to put on weight now as bigger twins are more likely to survive pregnancy. But Im advising junk foods or fatty foods as they will just get no nutrition & empty calories

So from a

hi! wow congrats, you conceived twins and first time trying! thats amazing! may I ask when you BD's around ovulation time? I looked through some of your posts and saw you saying you used the clearblue monitor, so just interested to know which days you BDd and when your ovulation was. thanks

 

[lynlouc]

Fx'd for you sarahincanada , what a lovely surprise for your family that would be xxxx

 

[CeeDee]

Congrats, Love2011!

 

[Bambers]

Sorry for your loss.

A size 18 isn't drastically overweight and you certainly ain't past it age wise.
One of my best friends is 41, weighs 16 stone (dress size 24) and has just given birth to her 4th healthy, bouncing little bundle.
You're doctor is being insensitive and just quoting from the latest statistics (which will no doubt change in the next five years anyway).
If you're wanting to get pregnant or are pregnant you are damned if you smoke, drink, are overweight, are underweight, work nights, don't eat five fruit and veg a day, don't drink five glasses of water a day, do high impact exercises, do no exercise etc
You can't win...so honey...do your own thing. You have just being pregnant so you must be doing something right. And most early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities nothing that mum has done.
Chin up hon...you'll get there...but for now, give yourself all the tlc you need to help you get through you loss BUT don't give up trying for that little baby...you'll get there. x x x

Amen to that!

I agree with most of what you said apart from the smoking and drinking part. The dangers of these things (particularly smoking) to the unborn are very well documented. So while we can't get neurotic otherwise we'd be going around in a bubble - there are still some things we need to avoid but we all knew this anyway. (That Misbehaving Mums TV programme is still playing on my mind!!)

I totally agree, you ideally should not drink or smoke when pregnant. It's bad for you and bad for baby, end of.

What I was trying to do was show a short list of the thousands of things that you are not meant to do when ttc or pregnant. If we listened to every bit of new data that comes out we would be neurotic nuts in a perpetual state of worrying after just a few weeks. At some point you have to use your own inner wisdom and judgement and shut off from the continual barrage that the media and the medical profession assault us with.

 

[Ruth2307]

Sorry for your loss.

A size 18 isn't drastically overweight and you certainly ain't past it age wise.
One of my best friends is 41, weighs 16 stone (dress size 24) and has just given birth to her 4th healthy, bouncing little bundle.
You're doctor is being insensitive and just quoting from the latest statistics (which will no doubt change in the next five years anyway).
If you're wanting to get pregnant or are pregnant you are damned if you smoke, drink, are overweight, are underweight, work nights, don't eat five fruit and veg a day, don't drink five glasses of water a day, do high impact exercises, do no exercise etc
You can't win...so honey...do your own thing. You have just being pregnant so you must be doing something right. And most early miscarriages are because of chromosomal abnormalities nothing that mum has done.
Chin up hon...you'll get there...but for now, give yourself all the tlc you need to help you get through you loss BUT don't give up trying for that little baby...you'll get there. x x x

Amen to that!

I agree with most of what you said apart from the smoking and drinking part. The dangers of these things (particularly smoking) to the unborn are very well documented. So while we can't get neurotic otherwise we'd be going around in a bubble - there are still some things we need to avoid but we all knew this anyway. (That Misbehaving Mums TV programme is still playing on my mind!!)

I totally agree, you ideally should not drink or smoke when pregnant. It's bad for you and bad for baby, end of.

What I was trying to do was show a short list of the thousands of things that you are not meant to do when ttc or pregnant. If we listened to every bit of new data that comes out we would be neurotic nuts in a perpetual state of worrying after just a few weeks. At some point you have to use your own inner wisdom and judgement and shut off from the continual barrage that the media and the medical profession assault us with.

You are so right! Everyday there's some new threat and it can be quite scary so I've kind of switched off now and am doing just as you say: using my own inner wisdom and judgement otherwise I wouldn't eat or even leave the house!

 

[readyformore]

. i had 6 kids after turning 34yr.

I'm 34 and struggling a little to ttc, 10 cycles now of ttc #4. Your comment gave me so much encouragement. It wasn't until my 30s that I realized I wanted a bunch of kids, and I feel like time is slipping by. I hope to be as fertile as you!


lynlouc, I'm so sorry for your loss hun. Sometimes it would be easier to have something to blame the miscarriage on. Usually, there is no reason. I wonder if your doctor justed used your age and weight as an excuse. But, it certaintly doesn't help, instead it probably caused guilt and embarrassment.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Hopefully, the next baby will be a sticky one!

 

[lynlouc]

Thanks Readyformore lets keep our fingers crossed that we get our #4's very soon xxxxxIm sure we will ,, feeling quite positive about it today , i mean we are only 34 and lots of people have families right into their late 40's early 50's so why not ???? ( lets see how long this pma lasts !!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[readyformore]

Thanks Readyformore lets keep our fingers crossed that we get our #4's very soon xxxxxIm sure we will ,, feeling quite positive about it today , i mean we are only 34 and lots of people have families right into their late 40's early 50's so why not ???? ( lets see how long this pma lasts !!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I could use some of that attitude for sure. After 10 cycles, my confidence is fading. I keep telling myself that I'm not 'too old' and I'm healthy.

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling. Hopefully, it's smooth sailing from here on out.

 

[Love2011]

So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!

Hello all,
I 'm now at 41 I'm the proud mother of beautiful ,healthy 4 month old, twin girls after using clearblue & both of us using pregnancy vits. It was a spontaneous pregnancy. 7 years after a huge myomectomy for fibroids, Hope this gives hope to everyone.

I dont think your age is an issue as long as you keep healthy. I was a size 12 at the start of pregnancy . You do need some fat for the baby during the pregnancy, from healthy eating to reduce other risks in pregnancy. I wished I did exercises before & during the pregnancy as they help you to have the strength in your legs & back during the pregnancy & improves your circulation.

Its up to you about the weight. I put on 50lbs during the pregnancy , if it was 1 baby id expect to put on about 30lb.ie baby & amniotic fluid & increased blood volume, I lost 35 lbs after pregnancy so i still have another 15 lbs to go. Also if you consider a c sec, its easier to do the surgery if theres less weight.

I know people who are much much larger than me who had successful pregnancies , so dont worry, good things come to those who wait



xxxx

 

[lexus15]

So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!

Hello all,
I 'm now at 41 I'm the proud mother of beautiful ,healthy 4 month old, twin girls after using clearblue & both of us using pregnancy vits. It was a spontaneous pregnancy. 7 years after a huge myomectomy for fibroids, Hope this gives hope to everyone.

I dont think your age is an issue as long as you keep healthy. I was a size 12 at the start of pregnancy . You do need some fat for the baby during the pregnancy, from healthy eating to reduce other risks in pregnancy. I wished I did exercises before & during the pregnancy as they help you to have the strength in your legs & back during the pregnancy & improves your circulation.

Its up to you about the weight. I put on 50lbs during the pregnancy , if it was 1 baby id expect to put on about 30lb.ie baby & amniotic fluid & increased blood volume, I lost 35 lbs after pregnancy so i still have another 15 lbs to go. Also if you consider a c sec, its easier to do the surgery if theres less weight.

I know people who are much much larger than me who had successful pregnancies , so dont worry, good things come to those who wait



xxxx

Oh wow..congratulations

You've definately given me hope. I tried to use my CBFM this month but kept forgetting to test with fmu when going for an early morning wee, I'll try harder next month!

 

[AmeliaLily]

Don't worry about being too old for your second or third at 34! I'm 34 and have just conceived my first.

 

[AmeliaLily]

So today i went to the docs ,who confirmed that i have just suffered from a very early misscairrage and although she was really nice i couldnt help but feel she was telling me to expect things like this at my age ,weight etc,,,, I had just got myself in a good place reading on here of larger ladies being successfull and older ladies too but now im really disheartened again . Im 34 and a size 18 .......is that really OLD and Really that OBESE that is could stop me from getting a bfp to stick around ???? Apparently i weighed exactly the same 4 years ago when i conceived my dd but now im 4 years older !!!!!!!!!

Oh and also I'm a size 16 with a BMI of 31