Think dh has changed date ttc #2

[fxmummyduck]

So we were talking about all the plans we have over the next few years and inevitably ttc a second baby came up, and dh basically said with everything going on its going to be very difficult to fit it in...especially as one of the things going on is moving to another continent. He also said he wants to enjoy lo a bit longer and wouldn't mind a 3 and a half or 4 year age gap. 😢 which is just way too big for my liking. I can see what he says makes sense, there is so much going on i can't see how we can manage it but i really don't want such a large age gap. He said the only option is to try earlier...but I'm the one then worrying that I'm ready to be pregnant again.

I had it all planned in my head and it seemed to work, but now it all seems messed up 😢

Just wanted to share. Thanks for reading!

 

[ArtIsLife]

Sounds like maybe you need to have a few more talks with DH. Its a huge decision, hard to decide something like that in one quick conversation... hope you can both hear each other out and decide what will be best for baby in the long run.

 

[KylasBaby]

Maybe you can split the difference? Go I between when you would like to start and when he would like to start? Seems a good compromise. Or maybe sit down and explain why you feel how you so since he explained why he feels that way.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Yes i think we really need to sit down with a planner and really look carefully at the situation. Maybe we could find a compromise in there somewhere.

I dont really know why i feel like this, i just worry how the age gap will effect lo i guess.

 

[KylasBaby]

Well, I know kids close in age who are close and others who aren't and the same for bigger age gaps. My brother and I are 2 years apart and not close at all. Similarly, my best friend and her brother are a good 5 or so years apart and really close.

So I think there is more to it than the age differences.

 

[ArtIsLife]

My little brother and I are 17 years apart (he is 10, I am 27) and we are SUPER close... if that helps at all.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Thanks,yes i suppose it could go either way.maybe it depends how you manage it.

 

[NovemberSnow]

I'm sorry, I think I would find that really hard. You should talk to him and see if you can get more certainty around the date.

 

[fxmummyduck]

I know, i think i need to tell him how i feel, my reasons etc...but i know my dh and i will need to leave him to think it over in his own time and he'll come to me when he's ready to talk.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I dont really know why i feel like this, i just worry how the age gap will effect lo i guess.

My younger sister and I have a 4 year gap and we're super close (we finish each other's sentences and are always thinking the same thing). Plus it helped my parents not to have two kids in college at the same time!

 

[Angel_blues]

My old brother and I have 7 years, we are close. If it helps, I hate my "twin" brother. Haven't spoken to him in 4 years... Age gap is nothing, it's how you grow up.