Think we're ready!

[pearlsandbows]

Hi Everyone
I am 25 (26 in Dec), DH is 28 (29 in Feb). We've been together 9 years & married just over a year. We own our 3 bed house (with mortgage), & hubby is in a stable job (been there 7 years) although not on that much money (not enough for us to live on his salary alone anyway). I am in a temporary ongoing job with no idea of when or if it will go permanent. Between us we bring in about £32k so not a great deal but enough! We have discussed it & would really love to start trying for a baby - the only thing is my job, ideally I would like for it to go permanent to give me some stability & something to go back to afterwards. But then I think, I don't know if I will want to go back afterwards (it's quite a commute) or if they will accomodate less hours. I also don't know if or when it will go permanent and feel like I'm waiting for something which may never come or may be too long coming! I do really enjoy the job though and it's a great environment to work in with great people. If I can stay in the job until I would go on maternity leave I would qualify for SMP, & would obviously then have some time to find another job if I needed to. DH also has some savings which he has always said would be for when we have a child (not sure exactly how much I think about £5k!). I also would like to build my career - I have been to uni and graduated in 2009 but haven't managed to get my foot onto a permanent career ladder yet. I feel like having a child would also give me a clear break and when the time is right following this I would be able to look for something and build my career up with a family already started. I have it constantly on my mind that if I go for my dream job now I may get too involved/dedicated and it would put me off having a child for however long, and I really want a family and to not be too old when I do! My DH would really like to start trying now and is just waiting for me to say yes to be honest... I guess I am just scared of the unknowns but when I think about it like this I can't find a reason not to, as they say 'you always manage', then again I would like to do better than just 'manage'!
Trying now there is also that added bonus we could tell the parents on Christmas obviously this has no bearing on anything but just something nice I thought of!
Any thoughts would be so appreciated
xo.

 

[patienceiav]

Hey there!

I'm in a similar position to you, i've been WTT for over a year now because I haven't had a permanent job, I need a proper wage before and the stability of a job to come back to afterwards, so no TTC till I have myself settled

It's tough WTT till all the pieces are in place but i'd rather that than unravel when maternity leave is up and I can't get a job

All I can give is my own experience, hope it has some use no amount of preparing can really prepare you i reckon, but would be nice to get rid of some of our bills etc before the baby bills pile up one of my biggest fears is money trouble, it tears people apart so that would be nice to avoid!

Anyhoo, there's my two pence on the matter

 

[Button#]

Starting a family is always going to be scary whenever you do it but it's easier if you have the basics in place. if i were in your position i think i would want a permanent job first or a plan to manage on one salary. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[pearlsandbows]

I know what you mean, I have felt exactly like that since I've been in this temporary job. But I've got to the point now where I feel like I could end up waiting forever, there's no permanent job on the horizon so how long am I going to wait?!
xo.

 

[patienceiav]

Is there no way you can ask your bosses to consider a permanent contract? Where I live you can't have someone employed for more than a year as a temp without making them permanent, or possibly time to look for a job that is permanent/has a 6 month trial period and then becomes permanent? If I had no possibilities to get a permanent job now I'd look elsewhere straight away, much as It'd break my heart to wait, at least there'd be a more fixed deadline

 

[pearlsandbows]

I wish I could convince them to go permanent, unfortunately the company are on a recruitment freeze at the moment and has just announced a lot of redundancies - I escaped that but have to wait for the freeze to come off before I can be made permanent. My manager told me once this is off they would be looking to make me permanent, but she also said she can't guarantee whether this will be next week, next month or next year! Hate the fact that this is holding me back! My head is telling me to wait until I'm permanent or get a permanent job, but my heart is telling me everything would be fine if we did it now! I've been looking tonight at jobs and applied for a couple, also had a call from a recruitment company about a job today so fingers crossed I can get one and get sorted. It would be so much more comfortable. I think it doesn't help that my friends all seem either have recently had a baby or are pregnant at the moment!
xo.

 

[patienceiav]

I'd be worried about them going "don't bother coming back" once you get preggers, can't imagine trying to find a new job with a tot just be careful that the new job isn't too similar to the old one, ask about the job being permanent, with the economy and jobs as they are it's not surprising to employers to hear people looking for stability, I hope it goes well for you

 

[pearlsandbows]

Thank you! I am only looking for permanent now but a similar type of role as that's where my experience is. Can't wait to get sorted out!
xo.