Thinking BLW is not for us

[misspriss]

Well, I was all keen on BLW from the get-go. I was going to let my LO eat what I eat, and it was going to be easy (don't most the people say BLW is easier than TW?) and fun and great.

Well it's not working out that way. I swear those of you who say BLW is easier must be SAHMs or have that long UK maternity leave or something. I am not the primary caregiver for my child during the week, my MIL is. She can't cook, doesn't know how, and barely eats when she watches LO. I swear she either has fast food or no food, or maybe a PBJ sandwich, but not real food, when she is with him.

Which means in addition to cooking, cleaning, nursing the baby and letting him try food sometimes at night, I have to plan and cook something for him for when I am gone too. And I'll be honest, my diet is not prime either, so I am always feeling like I shouldn't give him everything I am, because I am trying to keep him off grains until after 1 year (personal reasons).

Also, at 7.5 months, he still doesn't seem to eat much. He seems interested in food enough, but doesn't seem to like or eat much of the BLW food we have given him (mostly steamed veggies and fruits, a little meat).

So I am thinking purees might work better for us. I can make up in advance or buy organic purees and they will be ready when we need them. MIL will be able to spoon feed him and she will quit being nervous (she won't feed him anything I don't specifically tell her to feed him) and it will just be easier for us.

On the other hand, he doesn't really NEED food yet, so no rush, but I don't know. Any advice? Did TW actually work better for anyone that BLW?

 

[lozzy21]

We started with purée but by your Los age was off them anyway. The thing is with BLW it's more about them learning how to move the food about and explore tastes and textures than nutritional content. It doesent have to all be steamed veg and fruit. Of your giving LO a proper meal on a night it's fine to pack LO some bread and butter, cheese and a banana for lunch or last nights left overs.

 

[misspriss]

We started with purée but by your Los age was off them anyway. The thing is with BLW it's more about them learning how to move the food about and explore tastes and textures than nutritional content. It doesent have to all be steamed veg and fruit. Of your giving LO a proper meal on a night it's fine to pack LO some bread and butter, cheese and a banana for lunch or last nights left overs.

Well, I'm trying to keep him off grains until after his 1st birthday. That makes it hard, no bread (butter is great though). We do bananas. I didn't mean steamed veggies and steamed fruit, I meant steamed veggies and all fruit, sorry it wasn't clear!

DH and I don't have dinner most nights, he works nights and I work days, so half the time it's just a sandwich for me or maybe a burger. I guess I could give LO some hamburger pattie and cheese, but I'd have to remember to go lightly on the seasoning.

He has had: Banana, Steamed carrots, Steamed broccoli, Steamed green beans with butter, hot dog, pear, apple, applesauce, cheddar cheese, string cheese, chicken, steak, banana yogurt, egg yolk.

But like last night, we had frozen pizza. Aside from giving LO cheap frozen pizza, what were my other options? Tonight, DH will be gone. I will probably make spaghetti. Also a grain based product. I plan to have a veggie, but it will probably be one he has had a lot.

I think it would be easier if MIL ate the things she was feeding him, since he is not getting to watch people eat while he eats, I just don't know. I think BLW would work for us much better if I was at home with him. It would work better if I made meals every might instead of just grabbed a bite to eat. It would work better if we sat down and ate at the table like a family instead of on the coffee table.

I'm just frustrated. I don't feel like it's working. My MIL is just terrified to try anything I haven't specifically labeled as "LO food". I even bought some baby yogurt and she was afraid to feed it to him because I didn't say "the babyfood yogurt is for LO". She doesn't eat in front of him. I just don't know, I'm frustrated.

 

[MommyJogger]

It can be frustrating. May I offer another perspective, even if it might not be what you want to hear?
At some point, your lo is going to start eating real people food. Whether that's at 8mo or 12 mo or 18mo or whatever is irrelevant. So at some point, you're going to have to find a way to fit in making a couple healthy meals a day, and it's going to be a lot easier to make it for both of you than to heat yourself up a frozen pizza and still go through the trouble of making him something fresh and healthy.
I wouldn't give up on BLW right now if I were you. I would use this time between "lo is interested, but not taking in very much food" and "lo is eating the food we offer" to figure out how you're going to do it. Build yourself a repertoire of easy, healthy, homemade meals that you can whip up quickly or freeze in bulk and heat back up at meal time. And take it a small step at a time. Make something healthy and homemade once a week, then step it up to two, then maybe make an extra meal on the weekend to have during the week to bring it up to 3 healthy meals during the week, etc.
I would look at this as less of a BLW problem and more of an "maybe I need to start figuring out what I'm going to feed my food-gorging toddler" problem.
Mine wasn't taking very much food at your lo's age either. Maybe he took a bite per day? (When he was offered something at each meal time.)
As for your MIL, I would just send everything very clearly labeled. Or print her out a menu for the week so she has a clear reference for what to offer him.

 

[misspriss]

It can be frustrating. May I offer another perspective, even if it might not be what you want to hear?
At some point, your lo is going to start eating real people food. Whether that's at 8mo or 12 mo or 18mo or whatever is irrelevant. So at some point, you're going to have to find a way to fit in making a couple healthy meals a day, and it's going to be a lot easier to make it for both of you than to heat yourself up a frozen pizza and still go through the trouble of making him something fresh and healthy.
I wouldn't give up on BLW right now if I were you. I would use this time between "lo is interested, but not taking in very much food" and "lo is eating the food we offer" to figure out how you're going to do it. Build yourself a repertoire of easy, healthy, homemade meals that you can whip up quickly or freeze in bulk and heat back up at meal time. And take it a small step at a time. Make something healthy and homemade once a week, then step it up to two, then maybe make an extra meal on the weekend to have during the week to bring it up to 3 healthy meals during the week, etc.
I would look at this as less of a BLW problem and more of an "maybe I need to start figuring out what I'm going to feed my food-gorging toddler" problem.
Mine wasn't taking very much food at your lo's age either. Maybe he took a bite per day? (When he was offered something at each meal time.)
As for your MIL, I would just send everything very clearly labeled. Or print her out a menu for the week so she has a clear reference for what to offer him.

It's not that easy. 3 months ago I tried that. I kept it up for 2 months, lost 20lbs, and loved it. But I couldn't afford the fresh healthy food, did nothing but cook when I was at home, and no one but me appreciated it. My husband still wanted to order pizza instead, no matter how delicious my food was. I spend every evening home alone with the LO, after a super stressful day at work. I don't want to spend it with him stuck in the carrier and me cooking until he goes to bed.

Maybe when he is 12 months, or 18 months, or whenever - DH will no longer be in school and will be home at night, I won't be recovering from a major car accident, we will have two real incomes and can afford lots of fresh veggies and fruits. Maybe then it will be better.

I'm just frustrated and stressed and BLW is stressing me out. It's just one more thing I really can't handle right now. But what can I say, you are right, my diet does need to improve for the whole family. But I can't handle that right now, I simply can't.

 

[eulmh82]

I am
A uk mum and did purees, just was t happy with the idea of blw. Totally understand your reasons too. We did some finger foods too but mainly it was purees to start. All home made. Now lo is twenty mths. He eats lumps. He eats normally he feeds himself.

 

[nevernormal]

I am friends with another BnBer who does BLW at home but sends purees to grandma's during the day. It might not be a purist definition of BLW, but it works for them. Find what works for you! If doing purees with added finger foods when possible works, then do that. I think it's more important not to be stressing over food =)

 

[Aliop]

I have done traditional weaning with finger foods for all my babies. I feed him fork mashed veggies & meat/poultry I cook (in batches and freeze) and then he has finger foods. I find it a nice balance that works for my family as he has whatever we are having as his finger food. Do whatever works best for you and your family

 

[MommyJogger]

It's not that easy. 3 months ago I tried that. I kept it up for 2 months, lost 20lbs, and loved it. But I couldn't afford the fresh healthy food, did nothing but cook when I was at home, and no one but me appreciated it. My husband still wanted to order pizza instead, no matter how delicious my food was. I spend every evening home alone with the LO, after a super stressful day at work. I don't want to spend it with him stuck in the carrier and me cooking until he goes to bed.

Maybe when he is 12 months, or 18 months, or whenever - DH will no longer be in school and will be home at night, I won't be recovering from a major car accident, we will have two real incomes and can afford lots of fresh veggies and fruits. Maybe then it will be better.

I'm just frustrated and stressed and BLW is stressing me out. It's just one more thing I really can't handle right now. But what can I say, you are right, my diet does need to improve for the whole family. But I can't handle that right now, I simply can't.

Ah, I see. Sorry, I was mistaken in thinking that this was a long-term situation for you and you'd eventually have to meet this roadblock anyway. It seems your situation might be completely different in several months' time.
You were in a car accident?? Do what you need to do to get by. Food right now is just for fun, whether it's something mashed up/pureed or a finger food. I prob still wouldn't offer a frozen pizza (and it doesn't sound like that's what you'll be doing), but if purees help you guys manage during what sounds like a really tough transition in your lives, then go for it.
I'm sorry your hubby doesn't seem to be on board. That can be frustrating, too, to feel like you're shouldering this responsibility alone.

 

[melfy77]

I was doing pureed food until DD was 8 1/2 months but one day she threw the spoon at me and was pretty much done with that kind of food Now it's mainly finger food, and she eats pretty much everything. It's not always easy, because, as you can imagine, eating shepherd's pie with your fingers in challenging enough for a grown-up, never mind a 9 1/2 months old baby

 

[misspriss]

Thanks so much for all the support you guys! I have been having a really tough day and doubting myself as a mommy (over food. really!)....breastfeeding hormones I guess.

Yeah I was in a pretty major car wreck recently and we've been struggling with the food budget. It's been tough. DH isn't so much not on board its that he is a selective eater, he has some sensory issues with food and doesn't like to eat vegetables or fruits or sauces. He is also uncomfortable (although supportive) of BLW. He is really scared LO will choke, but when I asked if he would rather do purees he said no.

Anyway, I've decided that it's okay to give him some purees (why did I think otherwise?) and still do BLW too. I picked up some organic purees today to keep on hand for when I need them, but I plan to continue BLW most of the time. This will keep the pressure from getting too much if I have a rough day.

I also froze him up some food. I don't know how well cooked veggies freeze, but we will find out. I steamed some green beans for dinner tonight, put two pots in the fridge and three in the freezer, and gave him some tonight. He loved them. I also made carrots but not for tonight, put two in the fridge and two in the freezer. Also I went against my grain rule (breastmilk has a lot of the grain-digesting enzyme in it, so I nursed him first) and gave him spaghetti tonight. He was not so impressed with the spaghetti or the sauce or the meat, but he dug those green beans!

Again, I really appreciate the support, I've been really down on myself today because I was having a hard time getting his food together. All of your responses really helped me to relax and accept the fact that there is nothing wrong with doing both! Thanks again!

 

[misspriss]

How could I deny him this much fun ?

Afterwards, commence bath, dishes, laundry, stain treater, had to wash the wool diaper cover....spaghetti will NOT be an everyday thing!

 

[MindUtopia]

He looks great. I think your idea of sending some purees for the day now and continuing with BLW is great. That will give you a couple months to figure out what you're doing and how to plan for the future. The reality is that cooking your own food is going to be cheaper in the long run than buying jarred baby food and ordering a pizza. We are on a pretty low income (I'm just coming back from maternity leave, also a grad student and my husband and I run our own businesses, which don't always guarantee us an income month to month depending on expenses and how things are going). But buying fresh food and cooking is it WAY cheaper. You can do so much with rice and potatoes and eggs and some fresh fruit and veg (or even frozen veg is actually cheaper if you have the freezer space, which we don't). I couldn't afford a pizza from Dominos, but I can afford a baked potato with some cheese on top (btw, my daughter loves these). It does take time and it sounds like you have a lot going on right now, so give yourself some space and time to figure it out. But like others have said, babies only really eat purees for a couple months anyway, so you'll need to find a way to cook healthy food for your son soon so might as well get started now and do the best you can. Your husband can find his own food if he doesn't want to eat it, especially if you aren't eating together anyway. And it might help him with his food issues as well. I know our diets have definitely improved since we started BLW. It's not always easy, but with some planning and cooking on the weekends and freezing meals for the week, you can do it. We run one business, are starting another, I'm a full-time student and we only have 8 hours a week of childcare, otherwise it's me doing it 24/7 with no help from family at all, and we still manage 3 fresh meals a day. It's work, but it's doable. And like you said, it's fun for them too, so worth it! Your little man definitely looks like he enjoys his food.

 

[Rachel_C]

How do you defrost the veg you've frozen? If you're not against microwaving food (I'm not!), there's probably no need to cook it first then freeze, then defrost; it just adds an extra step and an extra process to the food which will knock a bit of the goodness out. Just chop the fresh veg into whatever size pieces you want to give LO, put them in a microwave steamer/microwave safe bowl with a couple of tablespoons of water and microwave until cooked. The result is like you've steamed them... or you could cut everything up, put it in a steamer and tell MIL to turn it on. You can do the same with fish (we get some lovely frozen salmon fillets which are often on offer in the supermarket which can be microwaved from frozen). You could probably chop most of your raw veg for the week ahead at the start of the week and store in ziplock bags in the fridge or freezer, or only do it twice a week. You could grill some plain chicken breasts, chop them up and save them in the fridge for lunch too. Then you can add some cheese, some sliced fruit, raw veg etc and LO would have quite a nice meal.

 

[misspriss]

How do you defrost the veg you've frozen? If you're not against microwaving food (I'm not!), there's probably no need to cook it first then freeze, then defrost; it just adds an extra step and an extra process to the food which will knock a bit of the goodness out. Just chop the fresh veg into whatever size pieces you want to give LO, put them in a microwave steamer/microwave safe bowl with a couple of tablespoons of water and microwave until cooked. The result is like you've steamed them... or you could cut everything up, put it in a steamer and tell MIL to turn it on. You can do the same with fish (we get some lovely frozen salmon fillets which are often on offer in the supermarket which can be microwaved from frozen). You could probably chop most of your raw veg for the week ahead at the start of the week and store in ziplock bags in the fridge or freezer, or only do it twice a week. You could grill some plain chicken breasts, chop them up and save them in the fridge for lunch too. Then you can add some cheese, some sliced fruit, raw veg etc and LO would have quite a nice meal.

I don't know, it's a new plan. But if I make a whole pot of green beans, and literally put a tiny bit in his jar, and make like 5 or 6, 3 will go bad before he gets to them. So I froze them.

The plan is to treat them like milk, put them out in the fridge 12-24 hours before and let them defrost. I don't even know if MIL has been warming his food (we are mostly against the microwave, but it just occurred to me that she may be microwaving it! we have one but I don't use it much) you can put the jars in the bottle warmer, but I don't know how warm they will get because there is a lot of air around the food.

Well the veg aren't fresh to begin with, they are frozen. I buy frozen veg because it is cheaper and they won't go bad before I get to cook them. Because it's just me who eats veg in the house (DH doesn't eat ANY and LO doesn't eat enough to make a difference) it's hard to buy fresh veg and use it before it all goes bad. And frozen veg, if you can't get organic, is far less processed than "fresh" because it isn't treated to keep it looking "fresh" for longer (less waxes and whatnot), it just gets straight frozen to preserve it. The carrots were fresh though.

We don't have a steamer, and when I say MIL can't cook, I mean MIL can't (and won't) cook. It's easy as pie to steam veg, you put a little water in the pot, let it boil, and dump veg in with a lid - let it cook until it is appropriately soft. If you are really snazzy, you can use that steamer basket thing...but nope, that is way past her skill level/desire to try it.

 

[misspriss]

He looks great. I think your idea of sending some purees for the day now and continuing with BLW is great. That will give you a couple months to figure out what you're doing and how to plan for the future. The reality is that cooking your own food is going to be cheaper in the long run than buying jarred baby food and ordering a pizza. We are on a pretty low income (I'm just coming back from maternity leave, also a grad student and my husband and I run our own businesses, which don't always guarantee us an income month to month depending on expenses and how things are going). But buying fresh food and cooking is it WAY cheaper. You can do so much with rice and potatoes and eggs and some fresh fruit and veg (or even frozen veg is actually cheaper if you have the freezer space, which we don't). I couldn't afford a pizza from Dominos, but I can afford a baked potato with some cheese on top (btw, my daughter loves these). It does take time and it sounds like you have a lot going on right now, so give yourself some space and time to figure it out. But like others have said, babies only really eat purees for a couple months anyway, so you'll need to find a way to cook healthy food for your son soon so might as well get started now and do the best you can. Your husband can find his own food if he doesn't want to eat it, especially if you aren't eating together anyway. And it might help him with his food issues as well. I know our diets have definitely improved since we started BLW. It's not always easy, but with some planning and cooking on the weekends and freezing meals for the week, you can do it. We run one business, are starting another, I'm a full-time student and we only have 8 hours a week of childcare, otherwise it's me doing it 24/7 with no help from family at all, and we still manage 3 fresh meals a day. It's work, but it's doable. And like you said, it's fun for them too, so worth it! Your little man definitely looks like he enjoys his food.

Thanks. Cooking real food is cheaper than ordering pizza, but not than buying frozen pizza. Frozen pizza >$4, super easy to cook. For the same >$4, I could buy two pork chops, but I can't eat those by themselves. A couple dollars worth of veg makes it cost more, and since my DH doesn't eat veg, better add a potato. All of a sudden you are looking at $4 vs $6.50, plus one is stick in the oven and wait and the other requires me to cook at least three different things. Granted, one is way healthier, but you can see how easy it is to fall into unhealthy eating because it really is harder to make healthy food, no matter what people keep saying.

But what can ya do, I'm trying my best

 

[nevernormal]

Would your DH eat a homemade pizza? Just an idea. Occasionally we eat frozen store bought pizzas but I prefer to make homemade pizza. Of course you have the issue of the time crunch, but my solution is to make like 4 pizzas the day I make it, and freeze 3. You bake your (homemade) crust for a few minutes, then top it, then wrap in plastic wrap or foil or whatever, stick it down in a freezer bag. Then just pull it out and bake later, the same as you would a storebought one. This is cost effective and also you can control what's on/in it, so your son can have it. Don't put salt in the crust, use a low/no salt sauce or make your own, sprinkle some cheese (which will have some salt, of course), and then top with whatever else you want. Since your DH doesn't eat veggies you could only put veggies on your half. When you bake it, then just cut part of it into strips that would be easy for your son to grab.

Of course this would go against your grain rule, with the crust. You could probably make a cauliflower crust though too! You might have to change how long you cook it before freezing, but I'm sure if you googled it someone has done it before with success =). Or make mini pizzas with that crust for you son to pull out when y'all have your regular pizza.

I find that if I want to eat healthy, on a budget, but not spend a ton of time each day in the kitchen, I have to make extra of the healthy stuff and then just put it in the freezer for another meal down the road.

Other things I've frozen include salmon patties (made 8, froze 4 -- canned salmon is fairly cost effective), "meat"balls (I used black beans), balls of cookie dough (obviously not for the baby, but I was thinking I could probably freeze portions of this). I've also frozen fresh fruits when I can get them for a really good price. The key is to take a cookie sheet and lay everything out and get it frozen, or at least partially frozen. Then you can put it into freezer bags or containers, but it's not all stuck together when you just need a few things!

Just to clarify -- I'm definitely not a master freezer meal preparer! I find it easiest to just make extra of recipes once or twice a week and put those in the freezer for other times. Some people like to spend 1-2 days of month and just do a bunch at once. Find what works for you =)

 

[misspriss]

Would your DH eat a homemade pizza? Just an idea. Occasionally we eat frozen store bought pizzas but I prefer to make homemade pizza. Of course you have the issue of the time crunch, but my solution is to make like 4 pizzas the day I make it, and freeze 3. You bake your (homemade) crust for a few minutes, then top it, then wrap in plastic wrap or foil or whatever, stick it down in a freezer bag. Then just pull it out and bake later, the same as you would a storebought one. This is cost effective and also you can control what's on/in it, so your son can have it. Don't put salt in the crust, use a low/no salt sauce or make your own, sprinkle some cheese (which will have some salt, of course), and then top with whatever else you want. Since your DH doesn't eat veggies you could only put veggies on your half. When you bake it, then just cut part of it into strips that would be easy for your son to grab.

Of course this would go against your grain rule, with the crust. You could probably make a cauliflower crust though too! You might have to change how long you cook it before freezing, but I'm sure if you googled it someone has done it before with success =). Or make mini pizzas with that crust for you son to pull out when y'all have your regular pizza.

I find that if I want to eat healthy, on a budget, but not spend a ton of time each day in the kitchen, I have to make extra of the healthy stuff and then just put it in the freezer for another meal down the road.

Other things I've frozen include salmon patties (made 8, froze 4 -- canned salmon is fairly cost effective), "meat"balls (I used black beans), balls of cookie dough (obviously not for the baby, but I was thinking I could probably freeze portions of this). I've also frozen fresh fruits when I can get them for a really good price. The key is to take a cookie sheet and lay everything out and get it frozen, or at least partially frozen. Then you can put it into freezer bags or containers, but it's not all stuck together when you just need a few things!

Just to clarify -- I'm definitely not a master freezer meal preparer! I find it easiest to just make extra of recipes once or twice a week and put those in the freezer for other times. Some people like to spend 1-2 days of month and just do a bunch at once. Find what works for you =)

Yeah he would. Actually although I avoid grains in general, as I learn to properly prepare them I plan to add them back. One way is to create true sourdough. I started a sourdough starter last night, and it seems to be going well. Apparently if you maintain it, you HAVE to use it regular (unless you fridge it until you need it) and small pizzas are a great, easy way to do that. So we do plan to have homemade pizza in the future, which I would be okay giving to the LO since it is properly prepared and then the recipe I have even soaks for 12 hr on top of that.

We are working on it. Right now our freezer is PACKED. We need to a) clean it out, and b) perhaps budget in a small deep freeze in the future. Or see if I can talk my dad out of his old one, since my mom passed away he hasn't used it much I'm sure.

 

[MommyJogger]

RE: your mil: just a thought I had. She won't steam the veg, but does she watch lo at your house? Would it be too much to make little baggies of frozen veg on Sunday and throw them in a crock pot in the morning? I think you're fine with the purees, but if you wanted to mix things up and go both ways, that might be a good way to provide something finger-ish without mil having to do any "cooking" and with very little time input from you so you don't lose your time with lo. I've put frozen carrots, asparagus, zucchini (squash), stir-fry mixes, etc in the slow cooker with half-cooked beans and a little spice before and it came out decently ready for baby by lunch (even if the veg were a little too mushy for my taste, they worked well for DS). Cooked dry beans are very cheap and were a great 'finger'-ish food early on for us. Wal-mart sometimes has the tiny slow-cookers in the clearance aisle for under $5 and they work great, so you could keep your eye out for it just in case you wanted to try.
Sometimes frozen berries/fruit are on sale and I stock up on those. Put a little baggie in the fridge the night before or thaw them on the counter that morning until lunch with a little note that says "baby's lunch!".

 

[Solitaire]

We started blw when our boy turned 6months.
6 weeks in and he's not really eating anything.
Last week I started giving him porridge in the morning and since yesterday he's opening his mouth for it and swallowing it.
Any finger foods I give him he'll pick up and take to his mouth but as soon as he gets a piece on his tongue he kicks off till he's got it out and then he won't touch the food again.
I've found it frustrating and hard . I thought it'd be easier than this! I've spoken to health visitor and she said it takes longer with blw for then to start swallowing.
I keep wondering if I'm doing the right thing but I'll just keep trying for now.