Thinking BLW is not for us

[misspriss]

RE: your mil: just a thought I had. She won't steam the veg, but does she watch lo at your house? Would it be too much to make little baggies of frozen veg on Sunday and throw them in a crock pot in the morning? I think you're fine with the purees, but if you wanted to mix things up and go both ways, that might be a good way to provide something finger-ish without mil having to do any "cooking" and with very little time input from you so you don't lose your time with lo. I've put frozen carrots, asparagus, zucchini (squash), stir-fry mixes, etc in the slow cooker with half-cooked beans and a little spice before and it came out decently ready for baby by lunch (even if the veg were a little too mushy for my taste, they worked well for DS). Cooked dry beans are very cheap and were a great 'finger'-ish food early on for us. Wal-mart sometimes has the tiny slow-cookers in the clearance aisle for under $5 and they work great, so you could keep your eye out for it just in case you wanted to try.
Sometimes frozen berries/fruit are on sale and I stock up on those. Put a little baggie in the fridge the night before or thaw them on the counter that morning until lunch with a little note that says "baby's lunch!".

She used to watch LO at our house, then she decided she preferred to take him to her house. I don't really care for it, but I have no room to complain as she watches him for free and comes and picks him up and brings him back. But then yesterday, she didn't feed him anything at all! I went through all that trouble and made up the green beans, carrots, and spaghetti in little pots and put a baby yogurt with them, and she didn't feed him anything! My sister watched him in the AM though and gave him applesauce, which I didn't even realize we had....ah well!

Well, beans are on the list with grains requiring soaking before cooking, so I haven't ventured that deep into them yet. And DH doesn't care for beans (he doesn't eat any veg) so it's a lot of effort for something I'm kind of ho-hum about.

I haven't even thought about berries and stuff though! I have frozen berries in the freezer right now!

 

[eulmh82]

He looks great. I think your idea of sending some purees for the day now and continuing with BLW is great. That will give you a couple months to figure out what you're doing and how to plan for the future. The reality is that cooking your own food is going to be cheaper in the long run than buying jarred baby food and ordering a pizza. We are on a pretty low income (I'm just coming back from maternity leave, also a grad student and my husband and I run our own businesses, which don't always guarantee us an income month to month depending on expenses and how things are going). But buying fresh food and cooking is it WAY cheaper. You can do so much with rice and potatoes and eggs and some fresh fruit and veg (or even frozen veg is actually cheaper if you have the freezer space, which we don't). I couldn't afford a pizza from Dominos, but I can afford a baked potato with some cheese on top (btw, my daughter loves these). It does take time and it sounds like you have a lot going on right now, so give yourself some space and time to figure it out. But like others have said, babies only really eat purees for a couple months anyway, so you'll need to find a way to cook healthy food for your son soon so might as well get started now and do the best you can. Your husband can find his own food if he doesn't want to eat it, especially if you aren't eating together anyway. And it might help him with his food issues as well. I know our diets have definitely improved since we started BLW. It's not always easy, but with some planning and cooking on the weekends and freezing meals for the week, you can do it. We run one business, are starting another, I'm a full-time student and we only have 8 hours a week of childcare, otherwise it's me doing it 24/7 with no help from family at all, and we still manage 3 fresh meals a day. It's work, but it's doable. And like you said, it's fun for them too, so worth it! Your little man definitely looks like he enjoys his food.

Thanks. Cooking real food is cheaper than ordering pizza, but not than buying frozen pizza. Frozen pizza >$4, super easy to cook. For the same >$4, I could buy two pork chops, but I can't eat those by themselves. A couple dollars worth of veg makes it cost more, and since my DH doesn't eat veg, better add a potato. All of a sudden you are looking at $4 vs $6.50, plus one is stick in the oven and wait and the other requires me to cook at least three different things. Granted, one is way healthier, but you can see how easy it is to fall into unhealthy eating because it really is harder to make healthy food, no matter what people keep saying.

But what can ya do, I'm trying my best

But the the veg lasts several meals! I've never believed eating unhealthily is cheaper. Fair enough fruit is expensive but veg is cheap if you get the in season stuff. One pizza lasts one meal but a bag of potatoes will last several. Carrots cheap beans cheap broccoli cheap.

 

[misspriss]

He looks great. I think your idea of sending some purees for the day now and continuing with BLW is great. That will give you a couple months to figure out what you're doing and how to plan for the future. The reality is that cooking your own food is going to be cheaper in the long run than buying jarred baby food and ordering a pizza. We are on a pretty low income (I'm just coming back from maternity leave, also a grad student and my husband and I run our own businesses, which don't always guarantee us an income month to month depending on expenses and how things are going). But buying fresh food and cooking is it WAY cheaper. You can do so much with rice and potatoes and eggs and some fresh fruit and veg (or even frozen veg is actually cheaper if you have the freezer space, which we don't). I couldn't afford a pizza from Dominos, but I can afford a baked potato with some cheese on top (btw, my daughter loves these). It does take time and it sounds like you have a lot going on right now, so give yourself some space and time to figure it out. But like others have said, babies only really eat purees for a couple months anyway, so you'll need to find a way to cook healthy food for your son soon so might as well get started now and do the best you can. Your husband can find his own food if he doesn't want to eat it, especially if you aren't eating together anyway. And it might help him with his food issues as well. I know our diets have definitely improved since we started BLW. It's not always easy, but with some planning and cooking on the weekends and freezing meals for the week, you can do it. We run one business, are starting another, I'm a full-time student and we only have 8 hours a week of childcare, otherwise it's me doing it 24/7 with no help from family at all, and we still manage 3 fresh meals a day. It's work, but it's doable. And like you said, it's fun for them too, so worth it! Your little man definitely looks like he enjoys his food.

Thanks. Cooking real food is cheaper than ordering pizza, but not than buying frozen pizza. Frozen pizza >$4, super easy to cook. For the same >$4, I could buy two pork chops, but I can't eat those by themselves. A couple dollars worth of veg makes it cost more, and since my DH doesn't eat veg, better add a potato. All of a sudden you are looking at $4 vs $6.50, plus one is stick in the oven and wait and the other requires me to cook at least three different things. Granted, one is way healthier, but you can see how easy it is to fall into unhealthy eating because it really is harder to make healthy food, no matter what people keep saying.

But what can ya do, I'm trying my best

But the the veg lasts several meals! I've never believed eating unhealthily is cheaper. Fair enough fruit is expensive but veg is cheap if you get the in season stuff. One pizza lasts one meal but a bag of potatoes will last several. Carrots cheap beans cheap broccoli cheap.

Eh, Veg last two meals between me and baby, but I generally only make a baked potato maybe for him or a packet of mashed, both only last one meal. When I eat veg, I eat a lot. like two cups of broccoli at once, easy. And a bag of potatoes may last several meals, but they are not stand alone meals. Pizza >$4, bag of potatoes ~$5.99, have to have meat to go with potatoes, have to have veg to go with potatoes, have to have butter to go with potatoes, have to peel and clean potatoes...

It may be easier and cheaper to cook healthy food if you stay at home, or only work part time. But I am gone all day, I hardly get to cook most nights. I didn't say it was always cheaper, but I said it was cheaper and easier. You can't argue it isn't easier to pop a dish in the oven for 20 minutes and it be done than it is to cook things from scratch.

And so if one veggie out of said meal carries over, what are you going to eat with it? I would have to cook at least more potato for DH and meat enough for the both of us, so really having a bit of leftover veg to me is not worth the argument that it is cheaper.

 

[DaisyAnne]

My LO is 12 months old, and we did more of what someone called a "purist" approach to BLW. However, we did that because it's what worked best for us. LO did NOT want to cooperate with spoon feeding, so I didn't bother to try and make it more difficult for us! I say feed your LO whichever way works best for you.

I do second the notion that learning how to feed finger foods to LO is a difficult task whenever you do it, be it now or later. But I realize that this may be bad timing to stress about it.


I can't remember the exact list of things you're feeding LO, but here are some easy ideas other than fruits and veggies:

canned beans are simpler than dry beans if you're ok with that
eggs or omelets
ground meat can be cooked ahead and frozen- cook it up with some veggies (even apples or something if you want)
hummus with the veggies (like cucumbers, zucchini, or even on toast in place of butter whenever you start doing toast)

Even getting those reusable food pouches and putting baby food or applesauce in it and they can still self-feed.

It's all just for practice still, so try not to stress too much about how much they're eating! Pureed food or BLW...do what's right for you guys.

 

[sillysapling]

We're doing a combination. We're on campus during the day, and our meals are rarely what I'd be willing for him to eat at this point. He got that purees were food, although it was a gradual thing. He's only recently started eating a good amount of food at a time (ie. more than 1 bite), despite introducing them at 4 months. One day it just kind of clicked. Sometimes he'll grab the spoon and insist on putting it in his mouth himself- he's not even that messy.

I think it's helped with BLW as well. He gets used to the smell and flavor and associates it with food, so when we offer him things- he doesn't just brush them off as weird texture objects, he acknowledges that they're actually food and tries biting and chewing.

 

[nevernormal]

A little off topic but I think the "it's cheaper & healthier to eat at home" argument only applies to similar foods. It is cheaper to eat a pork chop dinner at home than it is to buy one at a restaurant, where they might use more processed foods, more salt, etc. So your home cooked meal is both cheaper and healthier. A homemade pizza is cheaper than a similar quality frozen or ordered pizza. Maybe comparable in price to a cheap frozen pizza if you consider how much cheese & meat costs but it's much higher quality, and again, you're controlling what goes in/on it so no/less preservatives, less salt, etc.

The best way I've found to reduce our grocery budget is reduce how much meat we eat, but it's definitely adjustment if you're used to a traditional american diet. Americans eat a lot of meat. But, for my family at least, it's the only way we can eat both cheaper & healthier.

Of course MissPriss this would obviously be a bit harder for you since your husband won't eat veggies! I've been able to mix in beans with ground meat before, or even finely chopped mushrooms, etc. to try to stretch it, but my husband is more than willing to try any of my experiments.

Also, like you mentioned, none of that takes into account how quickly & easily you can get a meal onto the table. It's SO much easier to throw a storebought frozen meal into a skillet, or pizza into the oven. That's why I *try* to make my own freezer meals. Sometimes.

 

[misspriss]

A little off topic but I think the "it's cheaper & healthier to eat at home" argument only applies to similar foods. It is cheaper to eat a pork chop dinner at home than it is to buy one at a restaurant, where they might use more processed foods, more salt, etc. So your home cooked meal is both cheaper and healthier. A homemade pizza is cheaper than a similar quality frozen or ordered pizza. Maybe comparable in price to a cheap frozen pizza if you consider how much cheese & meat costs but it's much higher quality, and again, you're controlling what goes in/on it so no/less preservatives, less salt, etc.

The best way I've found to reduce our grocery budget is reduce how much meat we eat, but it's definitely adjustment if you're used to a traditional american diet. Americans eat a lot of meat. But, for my family at least, it's the only way we can eat both cheaper & healthier.

Of course MissPriss this would obviously be a bit harder for you since your husband won't eat veggies! I've been able to mix in beans with ground meat before, or even finely chopped mushrooms, etc. to try to stretch it, but my husband is more than willing to try any of my experiments.

Also, like you mentioned, none of that takes into account how quickly & easily you can get a meal onto the table. It's SO much easier to throw a storebought frozen meal into a skillet, or pizza into the oven. That's why I *try* to make my own freezer meals. Sometimes.

Good point.

The reason we don't eat less meat, is my idea diet is meat based.

Basically I think the healthiest diet for us, based on my experience and research, is a grain-free, legume-free diet with no added sugar. Basically the primal blueprint diet. I felt great on it, lost weight, had energy, was no longer lactose intolerant, it was great.

However, because it is VERY expensive, I have decided to add traditionally/properly prepared grains and beans, in moderation. This means they have to be soaked at least 12-24 hours in a liquid with acid in it (like yogurt) to break down the anti-nutrients.

That is what I am going for, but it's hard to get started (frozen pizza is definitely not on it!) so for now I am just eating what I can afford until I can find the time and effort to put into making healthy meals all the time.

 

[Rachel_C]

If you have a small portion of leftover veg after a meal, chuck it in a bag in the freezer. Keep doing that with different veg until you have enough to make a pan of veg soup. Different every time but always yum, super cheap and very quick

 

[MommyJogger]

I feel like you would do well on some kind of middle ground. It's admirable to want to eat healthily and prepare things in the best possible way, but as another financially struggling working mother, sometimes that shit just doesn't happen, lol. Poorly prepared rice with poorly prepared beans and some veg is still going to help you feel leagues better than frozen pizza, and since you wouldn't be putting the planning in to soak things, they'll come together with minimal time and energy on your part. They might have anti-nutrients, but at least they have nutrients iyswim.

 

[misspriss]

I feel like you would do well on some kind of middle ground. It's admirable to want to eat healthily and prepare things in the best possible way, but as another financially struggling working mother, sometimes that shit just doesn't happen, lol. Poorly prepared rice with poorly prepared beans and some veg is still going to help you feel leagues better than frozen pizza, and since you wouldn't be putting the planning in to soak things, they'll come together with minimal time and energy on your part. They might have anti-nutrients, but at least they have nutrients iyswim.

Well if you have anti-nutrients with your nutrients, you don't get nutrients. That's how anti-nutrients work. At that rate, you might as well be eating pizza I feel eating unsoaked beans and grains is equivalent to eating pizza, and pizza is easier. Actually, the additional gas caused by unsoaked beans, I'd probably feel worse...

And since DH doesn't eat rice OR beans (or veg), I would still have to cook something else for him, which is more expensive. The soup idea may work for me for lunches or evenings alone, but DH doesn't eat soup either.

ETA (Okay, maybe beans and rice aren't as bad as pizza, but they aren't that great either, and since DH doesn't eat them, their value is far less)

 

[MommyJogger]

The protease inhibitors and chelators in rice and beans aren't going to be sufficient to actually counterbalance the nutrients available. That's a bit of a hype, tbh. Is it better to prepare them optimally? Yes. Are they completely worthless if not prepared properly? No. And in all honesty, the saturated fat and salt content in most frozen pizzas would cause way more problems with absorption even if the pizza were enriched with multivitamins.
It doesn't have to cost more to cook two things. If you make a frozen pizza and two misspriss-sized meals' worth of rice, beans, and veg your DH can eat the pizza two nights in a row and you can eat the rbv two nights in a row. So no food is wasted, it's the $ equivalent of one night of frozen pizza for two and one night of rbv for two, and the work is split so that you don't have to cook at all on "leftovers day". But at least this way you get to eat something better for you every now and then even if your DH has some food issues.
I'm honestly not trying to push or anything, I just feel like if we throw out enough ideas and help re-frame the plausibility of possible solutions we can come up with something that will work for you guys. I feel really bad for you having to eat frozen pizzas all the time. I guess it doesn't bother you, but just thinking about what my energy levels would be like on that kind of diet, while working and raising a child, I really, really feel driven to help come up with something.

 

[misspriss]

The protease inhibitors and chelators in rice and beans aren't going to be sufficient to actually counterbalance the nutrients available. That's a bit of a hype, tbh. Is it better to prepare them optimally? Yes. Are they completely worthless if not prepared properly? No. And in all honesty, the saturated fat and salt content in most frozen pizzas would cause way more problems with absorption even if the pizza were enriched with multivitamins.
It doesn't have to cost more to cook two things. If you make a frozen pizza and two misspriss-sized meals' worth of rice, beans, and veg your DH can eat the pizza two nights in a row and you can eat the rbv two nights in a row. So no food is wasted, it's the $ equivalent of one night of frozen pizza for two and one night of rbv for two, and the work is split so that you don't have to cook at all on "leftovers day". But at least this way you get to eat something better for you every now and then even if your DH has some food issues.
I'm honestly not trying to push or anything, I just feel like if we throw out enough ideas and help re-frame the plausibility of possible solutions we can come up with something that will work for you guys. I feel really bad for you having to eat frozen pizzas all the time. I guess it doesn't bother you, but just thinking about what my energy levels would be like on that kind of diet, while working and raising a child, I really, really feel driven to help come up with something.

Well, I started this thread because I found BLW difficult, not to defend my dietary beliefs. And for the record, I don't have an issue with saturated fat or sodium levels (although the grain in pizza crust is more of an issue). If I choose not to eat unsoaked grains or beans, then I choose not to eat unsoaked grains or beans.

I live with my husbands sensory issues related to food every day. I hate preparing to separate meals, it makes me feel like I am singling him out for his issues. I would rather work with my husbands struggles than just ignore it and give him pizza and me eat something different. I want to make healthy food he will eat too you know. He has sensory issues with food, he isn't just willfully picky.

I thanked everyone for their support and I will again, but I didn't ask for people to start trying to tell me how to eat. I have some specific beliefs about how cooking should be, and I'm not a half ass person. If I can do it, I do it. If I can't, I don't have do it, I just don't do it. Something in my brain is all or nothing, if I can't really do it the way I want to do it, I just wait until I can rather than half doing it, it just frustrates me. I know, I'm weird.

And for pete's sake, I don't eat frozen pizza every day! Not even every week, but it was what I ate the night I wrote the first post and I remembered the price of it. I had salad and chicken last night, spaghetti before that....

I mean I came here saying I was struggling with BLW, I got a lot of support and felt better, and somehow it turned into everyone attacking my dietary beliefs and trying to prove me wrong that it is expensive and/or time consuming to cook healthier than it is unhealthy. If it were that cheap and easy, people wouldn't cook convenience foods. That's why they are called convenience foods, because they are more convenient than healthier food.

 

[MommyJogger]

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or attack you. It's just that one of the reasons you listed that BLW was difficult for you was because you believe you have a poor diet (and you made it sound like you have a poor diet every day, rather than just occasionally, because it didn't occur to me that an occasionally poor diet would interfere with BLW). Then you revealed that part of the reason you have a poor diet is because of adherence to a dietary belief that I didn't realize you felt so "all or nothing" about. I apologize.
FWIW, I still think you'd be fine doing purees or combo TW-BLW. It just sincerely sounded to me like you were very frequently (as in most nights) having extremely processed and icky dinners. My DH is an incredibly picky eater and I spent years cooking "around" him until I just couldn't do it any more. I honestly just really felt for you.
You feel driven for "all or nothing". I feel driven to shove vegetables down complete strangers' throats. We're both a little weird.

 

[misspriss]

I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or attack you. It's just that one of the reasons you listed that BLW was difficult for you was because you believe you have a poor diet (and you made it sound like you have a poor diet every day, rather than just occasionally, because it didn't occur to me that an occasionally poor diet would interfere with BLW). Then you revealed that part of the reason you have a poor diet is because of adherence to a dietary belief that I didn't realize you felt so "all or nothing" about. I apologize.
FWIW, I still think you'd be fine doing purees or combo TW-BLW. It just sincerely sounded to me like you were very frequently (as in most nights) having extremely processed and icky dinners. My DH is an incredibly picky eater and I spent years cooking "around" him until I just couldn't do it any more. I honestly just really felt for you.
You feel driven for "all or nothing". I feel driven to shove vegetables down complete strangers' throats. We're both a little weird.

Yeah, everyone is weird I guess. I don't eat super processed food every night, but just cheap. Frozen chicken, frozen veg, instant potatoes, not total crap but not perfect either.

I tried to force him to eat veg for years, but I realized he has real issues. I got don't like seeing him gag and puke because of something I made him eat, then come to tears because he doesn't want to not eat it.

 

[cupcaker]

I hear ya with the not being a sahm. I am somewhere in the middle. I started out with all intention of following tw. And I did. I've sharply tried to get fingerfoods in though so ATM his main meal is pureed or mashed and I offer cheese sticks, cucumber and baby puffs too. Sometimes I put a birdeye steam veg pack in the microwave and let him feed himself the veg. With the fingerfoods I'm sure half ends up on the floor or chair though.

I have to leave a 'pack lunch' four days a week and at times it feels like such a chore but with three different parties looking after him I have to (mil, grandad and great grandparents) I pack a pureed meal (one I've made, frozen and put in fridge to defrost overnight) a yoghurt, a fruit puree either home made or bought, cheese sticks, cucumber sticks and puffs and occasionally a biscotti biscuit. They put the latter out on the tray and heat up the meal. Generally a frozen baby friendly beef or chicken casserole, cheese pasta, mashed potatoes etc. it isn't ideal and magical... We go through times like now where he won't eat much but I feel happier and more in control being able to pack lunches easily with a 'decent' meal involved too.

 

[cupcaker]

Ps I too don't always find the eat what we eat thing ideal, like you said a hard day at work or you are only making tea for one, well you don't go all out! Mymeal purees tend to be cooked on a weekend (say one big casserole dish or a pastabatch) then into freezer in pots. Otherwise I wouldn't provide something quite so good every night! Plus with work commitments it's ok for me to go out late to tesco and pick us up some tea but meanwhile it's way too late for LO to sit around waiting for his fill!! The freezer meals are totally my friend. I predict they will remain my friend, just continue to progress to lumpier forms. I plan to freeze cottage pie portions or whatever so the nights where we are latr or eating something he can't have he is still eating well

 

[sillysapling]

Ps I too don't always find the eat what we eat thing ideal, like you said a hard day at work or you are only making tea for one, well you don't go all out! Mymeal purees tend to be cooked on a weekend (say one big casserole dish or a pastabatch) then into freezer in pots. Otherwise I wouldn't provide something quite so good every night! Plus with work commitments it's ok for me to go out late to tesco and pick us up some tea but meanwhile it's way too late for LO to sit around waiting for his fill!! The freezer meals are totally my friend. I predict they will remain my friend, just continue to progress to lumpier forms. I plan to freeze cottage pie portions or whatever so the nights where we are latr or eating something he can't have he is still eating well

Even when you do go all out- you don't always want to be limited to baby friendly foods!

It's US Thanksgiving and I spent as much time, probably more, preparing food for baby (which included portions that'll be getting frozen and that should last a few weeks) separately from us. We tried to keep some things baby-friendly, but I don't want to completely limit what I eat to what I'm willing to let my baby eat- not until my baby has been introduced to a wider array of foods.

 

[Fliss]

Nathan *wanted* food at 18 weeks so we did the puree thing.

He was a little slower to grasp spoon feeding but we just followed the guidelines - fruit and vegetables only no wheat/gluten (so the 4-grain porridges with amaranth etc were fab) until 6 months, then adding in dairy and meat/poultry/fish from 6 months - which upped the texture anyway. We added spices and herbs to the meat.

Then lumpy from 8 months and 'mashed' from 10 - and because we were doing it ourselves the textures were much coarser than jars anyway - couldn't persuade him that 10 month+ jars were food and not slop LOL.

Added finger foods from 7 months and he's now gobbling anything and everything ;-)

 

[korndogger123]

Naomi STILL isn't keen on food, finger foods, or pureed jars and she is 12 months.

I did TW, and have no regrets. I can make sure she is eating instead of throwing it on the floor or feeding it to the cat. Believe it or not she STILL eats purees mostly, but we also give her things like beans or spaghetti and she will "eat" them. But mostly here it is still purees. We will work on transitioning when she shows more of an interest in food, and since she is breastfeeding like a newborn I, nor the doctor are too worried about it. (she would breastfeed all day everyday if it was her choice)

Both me and dh are busy out of the home, and we either don't eat or eat late! Naomi is with me most days just out and about so purees are easier.

 

[Cheska]

I haven't read through all the posts so someone may have already said this - but it doesn't matter how little babies who are being blw eat. Majority of it may go on the floor but the idea is that they will eventually eat it and you won't have to sit spoon feeding them. Instead you will be able to (when work allows) sit as a family and all eat the same things. I would say 12month + is when they should be eating for nutrition until then formula will provide all his nutrients so just let him play with it and he will eventually start eating it. Good luck.