This has to be illegal- Social worker rant

[loopsie]

I think most of you are looking to adopt, wheras I am looking to place my child up for adoption, but this seemed the most appropriate forum and I need to rant because I am very very angry!

Basically, FOB does not want to be involved, so not on the birth certificate and he doesnt attend any midwife appointments etc. Despite this we are still on speaking terms and still friends (still rather in love with him as well- which is wrong but you don't pick your emotions) it isn't easy on me but it's what he wants and I figure the baby will have a new mummy and daddy so I go along with this because it's what he wants and it's also what I want because I waant this to be as easy on everyone as possible.

I was asked to create a profile on him so that the baby will be able to have this in her book so she knows a bit about her background. I was then PROMISED this wouldn't be used for any other purposes.

Today I got a text off FOB. What's happened is this profile, which I was already felt a bit iffy doing, was circulated to every sixth form/college in my town! Asking if any pupil matched the description. So against both of our wishes- social workers now have the name, address, contact details etc of FOB. Which I specified I didn't want!

I don't know if there's any kind of action I can take. I supplied the information under false pretenses, it was used for something I was promised it wouldn't be used for. I don't suppose anyone out there has any idea what I can do? I feel so betrayed, I'm trusting these people to find a family for my baby! I now have no faith in them at all. When they ask me questions or give me forms to sign, how can I rely that it is what they say it is!

 

[twinklycat]

Oh my goodness loopsie! I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I would be furious too. I'm not sure what to suggest, but I would suggest writing a letter stating exactly what has happened and sending it to the social workers manager asking for answers and an apology? Send it recorded delivery too so you know it has got there.

Sorry i can't be more help

 

[micheller7794]

OMG that's terrible, surely that must be illegal.

 

[kobrinfamily]

Yes I would think they could not do this at all maybe call a lawer and see if you can ask questions!

 

[hopeandpray]

That is so wrong of them!

 

[Lovn.sunshine]

I'd be livid. That is beyond unacceptable, and I can't imagine how angry and betrayed you must feel.
I dont know where you are located but there a HIPAA laws protecting your privacy [at least in the states] I'd seek legal advice ASAP. Best of luck to you

 

[Samiam03]

Many lawyers offer a free consultation. If I were you, I'd set up a meeting with one and discuss what happened and what Legal actions you can take! Don t let them get away with this!

 

[ticking.clock]

It is very wrong but surely if he agrees with the adoption then he should sign the paperwork agreeing to it?

 

[griffinh]

Sounds like a major data protection breech to me hun - you might have a case there x

 

[Milty]

It sounds like you might be in the UK ...I would get a lawyer. I don't think they will charge for One visit.

Now on the other side a couple can not legally adopt your child without both parents consent. The only out is if you sign a form saying you don't know the father. This is in place to protect dads and adoptive parents with custody issues.

They should have been upfront with you. I think you could bring a suit against them.

 

[Needababynow]

Oh honey I'm sorry that you are going through this. I have never been able to get pregnant and would love to adopt but would never be able to pay the fees they charge in the US. I believe that if you do not list him on the birth certificate they will make you wait to adopt the baby out while they search for the father. It would be best if he signed off willingly. Message me if you need support or just someone to talk to.