those with kids already, when are you telling them?

[NDH]

The first time I told my daughter right away cause she was just 9 months old and didn't know what it meant lol. But I'm obviously not planning on telling them soon for a variety of reasons. I just dont know when is a better time. When do you plan on telling your kids? When have you told your kids about pregnancies in the past?

My not yet three year old knows all about babies in mommies tummies - she has a recently born cousin and a cousin on the way in January she often talks about being in mommy's tummies, and she will point out pregnant women and tell me she has a baby in her tummy.

 

[LovemyBubx]

Its hard to know when its the right time, my 4 year old also knows all about baby's come from ladies tummys she has also said lots of times she wants us to have a baby & she even drew pictures of moon, stars & rainbow to put on the wall when baby comes

I'm desperate to tell her! I have my scan tomorrow but I think im going to wait a couple more weeks to announce all being well

 

[MeaganMackenz]

Because of my Sch I'm waiting until after 12 weeks, maybe longer to tell them. Mine are going to be 6 and 3 tomorrow, the older one will understand so I'm not telling them right away. Also, I'm fat so I won't show for awhile. I think I can keep it a secret until half way lol

 

[SJDsMommy]

I told my kids right away, they are pretty young as well ( 3 1/2 and 2 on saturday) but even if they were older I would have told them right away as well.. I want them involved as much as possible!

 

[Ruz]

I have a 6 year old and I will be 15 weeks around christmas so I am buying a t shirt that says "I will soon be a big sister" something like that.

I think that would be fun she is so ready to be a big sys

 

[DebbieF]

DD is not quite 10 months old and we have already told her she is going to be a big sister. She has no clue what we are talking about, but I HAD to tell her.

 

[NDH]

The main reasons we're waiting is my parents dont know yet and I just know dd1 will blurt out something about he baby in mommy's tummy lol. Also I think 9 months I just too long fr kids to have to wait. My 3 year old has to skip through 3/4 of a movie to get to he part she likes, she will not like having to wait and wait and wait for the baby

The other part I forgot to ask was those of you waiting, how do you tell your kids no to roughhouse with you the same as usual? Mine like to sit on my stomach and jump up and own, and obviously I've put a nix on that. But I've always been one oexpain why not to do something rather than just say no, but dont know what to tell them.

 

[Lisa2701]

My DS will be ten at the end of this month, he has wanted a sibling for years and just a few days ago said to me "I'm never going to having a brother or sister", when I asked why he replied "because when ladies get old they can't have babies" - I'm 29! anyways, my DH and I are desperate to tell him but we are going to wait until at least 10 weeks I think (I am 5 just now). We plan on paying for an early ultrasound at 8 weeks so we may or may not tell him at that point. I've got two fears of telling him - How he would cope should happen to the pregnancy, especially as he has autism, and secondly we know as soon as we tell him then others will find out. So for now we are playing it by ear - sometime between 8-12 weeks probably, but we have to be ready to tell others and confident the pregnancy is going well before we would tell him.

 

[mummy2o]

My DS will be ten at the end of this month, he has wanted a sibling for years and just a few days ago said to me "I'm never going to having a brother or sister", when I asked why he replied "because when ladies get old they can't have babies" - I'm 29! anyways, my DH and I are desperate to tell him but we are going to wait until at least 10 weeks I think (I am 5 just now). We plan on paying for an early ultrasound at 8 weeks so we may or may not tell him at that point. I've got two fears of telling him - How he would cope should happen to the pregnancy, especially as he has autism, and secondly we know as soon as we tell him then others will find out. So for now we are playing it by ear - sometime between 8-12 weeks probably, but we have to be ready to tell others and confident the pregnancy is going well before we would tell him.

My son has autism and coped with becoming a big brother really well. He's a bit younger than your son and was almost 7 when his sister was born. I never told him as such as he wouldn't of understood what I meant as he had limited speech and understanding at that point. We would briefly mention it to him, but he wasn't interested and I didn't want to force the topic. So around the 38 week mark we started getting all the baby things in. So in the car he would say this is my car seat(booster seat), that is baby car seat. This is baby's bed, baby's chair etc, etc. So at that point things started to become real to him. Then when he met his sister he was fine with her, he told me every time she was crying and went to find me, he'd put her nappy in the bin (he had a bin obsession but that is now gone), he'd start wanting milk with her but he was also happy doing his own thing and generally ignores her most of the time. Now as they are older he's helping her play with her toys even if its just for a few minutes, trying to comfort her, playing babies with his own doll, and to top it all off he's getting more fruit in him as he's having Erika's yoghurts as he likes to call them, which is pureed fruit. Can't argue there. You know your son better than me so you'll know what will work with you, but if he shows an interest try teaching him about how baby grows each week or get books to help him adapt to the change.

So with that, I told my daughter but she's only 7 months and I don't think she really cares although she did give me a grumpy look so how knows! With my son, I won't as that is what works for us.

 

[Momof2TTC]

My kids are almost 9 and almost 7. We are going to tell them at 11 weeks after we hear the heartbeat on doppler. We've seen it at 6w4d, but I need that reassurance closer to the end of the first trimester before I tell.

 

[sharnw]

My dd is too young to understand but she keeps saying baby to me lol

 

[Mrsmitch80]

I told my girls at 10 weeks just after I had had a scan, I wanted to wait until my 12 week scan but I've been so poorly with hyperemesis and it was starting to really upset my 5 year old. As soon as we told her it was relief all around, she was happy that she knew why I was poorly.

Both are very gentle with me now incase they squish the baby! I did have a brief chat with my 5 year old before my scan about how the doctors were going to check if baby was ok because sometimes babies so small can get poorly. She goes to hospital a lot herself so she understood, just wanted to slightly prepare her should the worst happen.

I love it now, my 2 year old will tell anyone who will listen how mummy has a baby in her tummy!

 

[Lisa2701]

My DS will be ten at the end of this month, he has wanted a sibling for years and just a few days ago said to me "I'm never going to having a brother or sister", when I asked why he replied "because when ladies get old they can't have babies" - I'm 29! anyways, my DH and I are desperate to tell him but we are going to wait until at least 10 weeks I think (I am 5 just now). We plan on paying for an early ultrasound at 8 weeks so we may or may not tell him at that point. I've got two fears of telling him - How he would cope should happen to the pregnancy, especially as he has autism, and secondly we know as soon as we tell him then others will find out. So for now we are playing it by ear - sometime between 8-12 weeks probably, but we have to be ready to tell others and confident the pregnancy is going well before we would tell him.

My son has autism and coped with becoming a big brother really well. He's a bit younger than your son and was almost 7 when his sister was born. I never told him as such as he wouldn't of understood what I meant as he had limited speech and understanding at that point. We would briefly mention it to him, but he wasn't interested and I didn't want to force the topic. So around the 38 week mark we started getting all the baby things in. So in the car he would say this is my car seat(booster seat), that is baby car seat. This is baby's bed, baby's chair etc, etc. So at that point things started to become real to him. Then when he met his sister he was fine with her, he told me every time she was crying and went to find me, he'd put her nappy in the bin (he had a bin obsession but that is now gone), he'd start wanting milk with her but he was also happy doing his own thing and generally ignores her most of the time. Now as they are older he's helping her play with her toys even if its just for a few minutes, trying to comfort her, playing babies with his own doll, and to top it all off he's getting more fruit in him as he's having Erika's yoghurts as he likes to call them, which is pureed fruit. Can't argue there. You know your son better than me so you'll know what will work with you, but if he shows an interest try teaching him about how baby grows each week or get books to help him adapt to the change.

So with that, I told my daughter but she's only 7 months and I don't think she really cares although she did give me a grumpy look so how knows! With my son, I won't as that is what works for us.

Thanks for the advice. My sons speech and comprehension isn't as good as his peers but its pretty good thanks to intensive speech and language therapy at a young age so I'm pretty sure he will understand. My biggest concern with him is how he will cope with the baby crying as he struggles with friends babies crying (asks my friends to make the baby quiet and when they can't he leaves the room and won't come back until the baby is quiet) We asked him what he would do if he had a brother or sister who cried all the time and he told us he'd wear ear plugs - fair enough. I think as long as he has his own space he will be ok. He is very good good with my friends toddlers (as long as they aren't crying) although is very concerned over their safety, we have to tell him that its their mummies job to keep them safe so he doesn't have to worry about it. He takes it very personally if someone gets hurt in his presence. We intend on paying for a 4D scan later on in pregnancy and taking him with us to see the baby to help him really get his head around the whole thing but getting him a book so he can see the different development stages is a great idea and he loves information books so I am pretty sure he'd love reading all about it. I'm excited to tell him, he's wanted a sibling for years so I think he will be very excited.

 

[Dani_Ldn]

My ds is currently 16 months old, so he wouldn't understand now what it all means & probably not really when the baby is born (he will be turning 2 then).

 

[Radiance]

My nearly three and four year old already know. My daughter tends to know before I say anything. Before I tested she was rubbing my stomach, kissing it, extra cuddly and telling me she wants a sister. Poor thing has three brothers

 

[Radiance]

I see a lot of people saying their child is too young. My oldest are 13 months apart and she knew very early. At 9 months she was pointing at my tummy and saying boy or baby. She was the most amazing sister at 13 months!! She did wonderful and absolutely loved him. She wanted to hold him, kiss him, tickle him.. be mommy to him

 

[30mummyof1]

I'd been thinking about this..our boys are 5 and 2 1/2. we have a scan booked for when i will be nearly 8 weeks but i think we will wait until 12wks just in case and also 6mths waiting will be more than long enough for them!