Thoughts on this....??

[xSnowBabiesx]

I have some conflicting feelings on this.. On the one hand i am VERY pro-bf'ing. I wish that i had been able to do it myself, but there were latch issues and i wasn't producing any milk really, even with pumping and hand expressing. I was very upset for a while that i wasn't able to experience that part of motherhood and i felt like a failure for it.

On the other hand, I feel that 4 is way too old to be breastfeeding still. That is an age where memories are formed and remembered. Also, like someone else said it could be detrimental to a child's mental health/psyche having some of those memories and having other children outcast them for it. In my opinion, if a child can say "mom i'd like your breast" (or something along those lines) it is time to stop. I hope that this doesn't offend anyone, It's just my personal opinion. To each their own though, and the woman who confronted her and said those hateful things is a bitch and had no right to open her fat mouth. In a case like that it is not abuse and it is at the sole discretion of the parent. I think that the only time it's okay to intervene or interject your opinion on someone's parenting is if the person is being abusive with their children.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that i'm pro cows milk either because i actually find it quite disgusting to be drinking a bovine's milk produced for it's baby that will never have the chance to drink it. I just feel if you really want to keep feeding your child breastmilk at that age and it's only about the nutritional part of it, then why not take the breast away and give the child your milk from a cup? You wouldn't give a 4 year old a bottle so why give them your breast? I just find something very strange about offering your breast to a child that is school age, who can ask you for it, and who will most likely be able to remember everything. Maybe it's just me...

 

[storm84]

If I would choose to offer my child breastmilk I would BF till 12 months then offer it in a bottle , IMO if its that important then the mother will not mind pumping it and offering it to her son in a bottle or glass since hes 4 years old .

I personally dont find it disgusting but a tad bit bizzare as the child has teeth lol and can walk talk and run and is for sure in pre school .

To each there own is my motto .

 

[Natsku]

It does feel nice, not in a sexual way, but in a calming, relaxing way. Its kinda hard to explain really. Though it did hurt like hell for the first two months

i honestly dont feel anything when i BF amelie Its like numb or something LOL

I'm the same I thought u SHOULDN'T be able to feel anything as the nipple goes to the back/top of their mouths?

Maria has a very shallow latch so maybe thats why I can feel it?

 

[mumandco]

^^^^^ I can feel when zack is feeding
and I can definately say that it doesn't trigger anything sexual

 

[Miss_Bump]

What's wrong with having memories of breastfeeding?

If Evie has these memories they would only be happy memories. She smiles and giggles when she feeds and I sometimes sing silly songs. It's a lovely time for us to connect again if she is having a tough day

Why would that be something you would not want a child to remember?

 

[Miss_Bump]

And also, the whole not giving a child a bottle past this age etc is for dental reasons. You don't getb those problems with bf

 

[SackBoy]

How comes people who don't breastfeeding suggest pumping? I don't like getting involved in breastfeeding debates especially long term breastfeeding debates simply because my brother was breastfed until he was about 4 and he was a happy baby/child. I don't know how long I will breastfeed for, it's a two way relationship. You can't force a baby/child to latch in the way you can force a bottle in a mouth.
Anyway pumping is not easy and you don't necessarily get a lot, not everyone can pump. I have a huge oversupply but expressing anything above an oz takes forever in fact getting an oz can take ages unless I'm super engorged.

 

[rwhite]

I would've been super pissed if I were your friend and greeted that nosy woman with my middle finger

 

[xemmax]

I have some conflicting feelings on this.. On the one hand i am VERY pro-bf'ing. I wish that i had been able to do it myself, but there were latch issues and i wasn't producing any milk really, even with pumping and hand expressing. I was very upset for a while that i wasn't able to experience that part of motherhood and i felt like a failure for it.

On the other hand, I feel that 4 is way too old to be breastfeeding still. That is an age where memories are formed and remembered. Also, like someone else said it could be detrimental to a child's mental health/psyche having some of those memories and having other children outcast them for it. In my opinion, if a child can say "mom i'd like your breast" (or something along those lines) it is time to stop. I hope that this doesn't offend anyone, It's just my personal opinion. To each their own though, and the woman who confronted her and said those hateful things is a bitch and had no right to open her fat mouth. In a case like that it is not abuse and it is at the sole discretion of the parent. I think that the only time it's okay to intervene or interject your opinion on someone's parenting is if the person is being abusive with their children.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that i'm pro cows milk either because i actually find it quite disgusting to be drinking a bovine's milk produced for it's baby that will never have the chance to drink it. I just feel if you really want to keep feeding your child breastmilk at that age and it's only about the nutritional part of it, then why not take the breast away and give the child your milk from a cup? You wouldn't give a 4 year old a bottle so why give them your breast? I just find something very strange about offering your breast to a child that is school age, who can ask you for it, and who will most likely be able to remember everything. Maybe it's just me...

The reason that this IS offensive, despite how politely you may have said it (which you did), is that you are passing judgement on how other people should conduct their lives and raise their children, and effectively implying that something which a parent is doing 10000% through LOVE is actually "detrimental". It isn't offensive to say "I would not personally breastfeed my child at 4 years old" but to say that you think it is wrong for anyone to breastfeed their child at 4 IS offensive in its nature. It doesn't matter whether you say it's just your opinion, it will still offend people that are breastfeeding children of that age.

Just to add - you say "if a child can say "mom i'd like your breast" (or something along those lines)" what do you mean 'along those lines'? Children begin to 'ask' for it at very young ages - Oli has developed a special whimper and I am pretty sure he's not far off from beginning to say 'booby' (annoyingly this is what I call it!) - so that in itself is asking for it. Did you mean when a child can actually construct a sentence requesting it? I'm pretty sure that's not all that old either.

 

[cherryglitter]

i still can't get over the audacity of the woman that said something. i would never even dream of commenting on anything like that.

 

[Miss_Bump]

Evie could sign 'milk' at about 9 months so would ask for it

 

[Mum22GTTC]

How comes people who don't breastfeeding suggest pumping? I don't like getting involved in breastfeeding debates especially long term breastfeeding debates simply because my brother was breastfed until he was about 4 and he was a happy baby/child. I don't know how long I will breastfeed for, it's a two way relationship. You can't force a baby/child to latch in the way you can force a bottle in a mouth. Anyway pumping is not easy and you don't necessarily get a lot, not everyone can pump. I have a huge oversupply but expressing anything above an oz takes forever in fact getting an oz can take ages unless I'm super engorged.

I'd love to see all these people refuse their baby a bottle or dummy as soon as they turn 12 months old.

When my LO turns 12 months old in 4 weeks, my life (and more importantly my LO's) would be hell if I suddenly stopped BF him & only gave him BM in a cup/bottle.

He's refused a bottle since he was a few weeks old. And before anyone thinks we haven't tried or persisted hard enough, I beg to differ. Believe me I have tried & tried. One night DH tried ALL night to get him to take a bottle, that was an extremely awful night for DH, LO & me - we'll never do that again. At 5.30am I HAD to feed him, he had screamed all night & inconsolable. Now at 11 months old, sometimes he'll drink a LITTLE from a cup, but not nearly enough to sustain him and that aside at 11pm, 12am, 3am, 5am when he is screaming the house down the ONLY thing that will calm him is a BF.

There isn't a magic age where all of a sudden a baby suddenly goes from wanting BF to being weaned of their own accord, it's a gradual process for most.
I honestly don't know when I will stop BF, sometimes I think I'd like to stop now, but I just cannot put my baby through that. He needs me so much at the moment that I don't feel I can stop. Perhaps the lady who is BF her 4 year old feels the same .

IMO opinion I don't want to be BF my LO when he is 4, but if someone else wants to BF their LO & they feel that their LO NEEDS it then good for them! As long as it is for the need of the child then that is all that matters.

And as for BF being sexual It's silly statements like that that give BF the stigma it's got. I've been told my LO is likely to have attachment issues due to being BF by a so-called child psychologist Some people really have their won issues that they need to deal with rather than pusing their insecurities onto other people!!

Rant over

 

[My_First]

And as for BF being sexual It's silly statements like that that give BF the stigma it's got.

I feel I need to clarify this and it was me that brought this up. The only reason I commented on this was because it was a statement made in a legimate breastfeeding book. The book is VERY pro breastfeeding and attachment parenting, and so it gave me no reason to doubt its credability. It does also seem that some comments since that it is actually more common that one thinks, (or cares to admit).

 

[Babushka99]

MMmmm sexy breastfeeding so erotic.

 

[Mum22GTTC]

And as for BF being sexual It's silly statements like that that give BF the stigma it's got.

I feel I need to clarify this and it was me that brought this up. The only reason I commented on this was because it was a statement made in a legimate breastfeeding book. The book is VERY pro breastfeeding and attachment parenting, and so it gave me no reason to doubt its credability. It does also seem that some comments since that it is actually more common that one thinks, (or cares to admit).

"or cares to admit"

I don't know if you meant that in the way I've read it, but to me, that line says a lot about your opinion.

 

[My_First]

MMmmm sexy breastfeeding so erotic.

LOL - I think the point made was actually people can get sexual feelings while breastfeeding due to the same hormones being relased while breastfeeding and making love. And so my point was that MAYBE its not quite as clearly defined. Clearly, however, many on here have not had any feelings like that, it was just a comment that it was not uncommon...

 

[ellie]

I really dont understand the view that "theyre too old if they can ask for it". Makes no sense at all. A newborn asks for milk by rooting around, etc, is that then too old??? Why on earth would spoken language make any difference?
Theyre only ever too old if they dont want it anymore

I also really dislike the "pumping" argument. 1. If people who said it knew anything about bf theyd know it was silly to assume every mum could get anything from pumping, or thst their children would even want bm from a cup. Bfing is about a lot more than just the milk. 2. Why on earth would any mum choose to do that if they could just bf? Its a terrible faff just to save the sensibilities of other people.

Oh and re number of feedings, at nearly 22m my son varies, I work f/t so mostly he only has a bedtime feed and 1 or 2 in the night. Simetimes first thing. If hes ill he feeds frequently and if he happens to spot me wout of the shower or something he"ll decide he wants a feed then too!! Mostly he just likes pointing out "milkies" but doesnt actually want a feed!

 

[My_First]

And as for BF being sexual It's silly statements like that that give BF the stigma it's got.

I feel I need to clarify this and it was me that brought this up. The only reason I commented on this was because it was a statement made in a legimate breastfeeding book. The book is VERY pro breastfeeding and attachment parenting, and so it gave me no reason to doubt its credability. It does also seem that some comments since that it is actually more common that one thinks, (or cares to admit).

"or cares to admit"

I don't know if you meant that in the way I've read it, but to me, that line says a lot about your opinion.

No, totally mis read...I am not in the slighest being rude, or abnoxious, or anti breastfeeding. Hey I did it myself for a good few months! What I meant is because some people may not want to admit to feeling that way, because it may come across as 'weird', whereas its totally normal.

May I add, that I dont think its weird at all, neither is it my business whether people choose to extend breastfeeding or not, and neither did I want everyone jumping on the 'sexual' thing, it was a legitimate comment i read, which I have quoted and referenced, which could possibly lead to a theory that maybe defining the two feelin gs maybe not be as clearly defined.

I am not intending to make judgemental assumptions here, nor trying to offened anyone, just offering an alternative thought. Apologies if you read it that way..

 

[Katt]

Do you really think that a possible reason for a mum to continue bf would be because it 'turns her on'? Really?

 

[My_First]

Do you really think that a possible reason for a mum to continue bf would be because it 'turns her on'? Really?

NO!!! You have read this out of context...Sigh...I never even suggested that! I was commenting on that re something totally different. Read the rest of the thread and you will see the context its in..