Thoughts on this....??

[charlotte-xo]

Im to busy parenting my child to be worrying about how others parent theirs. Its none of my business if someone wants to BF a 4 year old aslong as mother and baby are both happy then what does it matter.

 

[Lydiarose]

i wouldnt breastfeed until 4,it doesnt sit right with me,i think 2 would be my time to stop

however i would never say anything to someone who did!

i really cant stand it when people have a problem with NIP its so wrong,and people find it perfectly normal to see a page 3 model with boobs splashed across the paper


I dont BF anymore but when i did i always NIP when i needed to theres no way im letting my baby go hungry/go into a dirty toilet for the sake of some close minded fool who thinks its wrong


Sorry to go OT

 

[k4th]

I think people (as in the woman who commented in the shop) should take care of their own damn business and stop interfering in everyone else's! How rude of her! I don't understand why people think they have any right to get invloved - nobody asked for her opinion! Oooooh this has annoyed me!!

I don't think the issue is about breastfeeding personally - I can now imagine this lady wandering around telling people that they can't do this/that/the other. Whilst breasfeeding trends and opinions towards it have changed over the decades and are likely to continue changing - society's attitude towards MANNERS has not changed all that much! This lady should get some!!!

Sorry your friend was upset by this interfering loon!

 

[lhancock90]

The lady was out of order for her comment it is a natural act HOWEVER past a certain age i know i wouldn't do it, it may be wrong but breasts are sexualised and past and up to a certain age i feel this can have certain detrimental effects on a childs mental health however wrong and sad this is, its still true atm and until more education is provided on the real reason we have lovely boobs i wholeheartedly believe in what i've said.

 

[patch2006uk]

It's really not the fact its boobs that bothers me. Boobs are boobs, 50% of us have them. I don't see the big deal with them.

For me it's the fact that BFing is a thing of baby and toddlerhood, and an older child doing it in public, in the middle of the day, isn't necessary. I wouldn't put a 4 year old in babygrows, a pram or a cot either. Children have to grow up at some point, and weaning is a big part of that for me

 

[Dizzymum]

I personally wouldn't bf a 4 year old, in public or at home. This is for the same reason that I wouldn't give a 4 year old a bottle - at this age they are getting ready to go to School, they are growing up, and I feel as a Mum, it is my job to help my child to develop and move on to new things.

I would never make a comment to anyone as that lady did.......very rude, bad manners to say the least.

I do, however, wonder who b'fing is benefitting more, once a child gets to this sort of age. By this I mean, is it because the mum can't stand the thought of giving up? I intend to bf until my lo is about a year, longer if it feels right for both of us, but I wouldn't do it until she is 4, just like she won't be sleeping in a cot, or using a highchair when she starts School either! Just my opinion.

 

[jessie_m]

I guess each to their own, but if I saw a woman bf'ing her 4 year old I would think it rather odd. I wouldn't say anything tho, that's her business!*

I'm actually more surprised at the women who BF but feel they have to hide in their car or a bathroom! Why do you feel you have to do that? Because people stare? Because you would be "whipping them out in public" as someone put it

I think that's a shame, I really do! I would have loved to have able to BF my LO for more than the 5 measly days I managed. I would be proud to BF him in public and wouldn't give a toss what anyone thought!

I have breast fed in a doctors office (in the exam room, not the waiting room), and in the back of my moms car when we had to take a road trip with LO, but thats about the extent of my NIP.*

I don't feel comfortable nursing in public for a few reasons. For one, I just don't have it down yet. She latches fine, but she doesn't always stay on and she'll get fussy and wriggle around, and I don't know how to be subtle about it. I'm afraid everyone would get an eyefull. Another reason is that there are just too many wierdos out there. As much as we hate it, the breast has become a sexual thing. I personally think that the breast as food, and the breast as a sexual thing are two seperate relationships, but I don't know that other people think that and I don't really want someone to see me breast feeding my child and then I can't get the thought out of my head that they're thinking something gross and perverted. Just a personal fear of mine. It is sad though because I do feel like I'm confined to my home. I wish I was brave enough, but I'm just not. Where I'm from I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've ever seen a woman nurse in public in my life. Yes, it's sad, and yes, I'm pathetic for letting it affect me to the point where I have stigmatized it myself, but I really can't help it.

Oh god no, I think you misunderstood what I meant. I don't think you're sad or pathetic, far from it! I think it's an awful sign of the times when a nursing mother cannot breastfeed her baby in public *and is forced into a bathroom or the backseat of her car to do so.*

Maybe i'm naive and thought it would be easy. Like I say I was never able to BF my son for more than 5 days (many reasons for it. I had an emergency section, he was in ICU). I so wish I could have, it's the one thing I would do over if I could.

I honestly didn't realise women felt like that. I'm so sorry if I offended you or upset you, that wasn't my intention.*

Oh no i wasnt offended and didnt think that you thought i was sad or pathetic. Just my own feelings.

 

[Eve]

I think it's terrible your friend had to go through that. Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't give you the right to be rude and nasty. If you don't like it, don't look... how simple can it get?

On the breastfeeding a 4 year old. I don't think I would have continued until that age, but I can't say for sure. I wouldn't do it in public as there are too many inconsiderate ignorant people out there and if someone said something like that to me I probably would have kicked their ass (obviously not in front of my child lol)

 

[Seity]

Humans will naturally ween between 5-7 years of age. Nothing wrong with a 4 year old breast feeding.
https://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html

 

[Aberrance]

"Old people" were actually told to NOT breastfeed by their pediatricians. https://mygoodparenting.com/2011/03/22/societys-knowledge-of-breastfeeding/
So they may not be as accepting for those reasons.

 

[Murphy98]

I think its far more unacceptable for a person to walk up to a perfect stranger and announce unsolicited judgements on someone elses parenting. That is just mind bogglingly rude.

As for BFing a 4 year old - not my cuppa but if that is what works for another family then great. My maternity Dr's student was making conversation during an appointment once and pointed out to me that the worldwide average age to breastfeed to is 4 years old. Obviously not in westernized countaries but I thought that was an interesting tidbit.

 

[lovealittle1]

I admire your friend. There is nothing wrong with BFing a 4 year old. The women was way out of line.

 

[Blah11]

I personally wouldn't bf a 4 year old, in public or at home. This is for the same reason that I wouldn't give a 4 year old a bottle - at this age they are getting ready to go to School, they are growing up, and I feel as a Mum, it is my job to help my child to develop and move on to new things.

I would never make a comment to anyone as that lady did.......very rude, bad manners to say the least.

I do, however, wonder who b'fing is benefitting more, once a child gets to this sort of age. By this I mean, is it because the mum can't stand the thought of giving up? I intend to bf until my lo is about a year, longer if it feels right for both of us, but I wouldn't do it until she is 4, just like she won't be sleeping in a cot, or using a highchair when she starts School either! Just my opinion.

Why does it matter? Using a highchair and a cot isn't good for their health at the age of 4, breastfeeding is so they're not comparable IMO. I'd like to see someone try and make a 4 year old BF. They wont unless they want to so I dont see the issue with who enjoys it more or whatever.

 

[Blah11]

"Old people" were actually told to NOT breastfeed by their pediatricians. https://mygoodparenting.com/2011/03/22/societys-knowledge-of-breastfeeding/
So they may not be as accepting for those reasons.

They don't need to 'agree' with it but they do need to accept it. no one forced them to breastfeed so why on earth do they think its okay to tell other people how to raise their child?

 

[Betheney]

I would not breastfeed that late but i have no problem with women who choose to do it, all the more power to her, that old woman was out of line

 

[cherryglitter]

"Old people" were actually told to NOT breastfeed by their pediatricians. https://mygoodparenting.com/2011/03/22/societys-knowledge-of-breastfeeding/
So they may not be as accepting for those reasons.

i've never heard of this!

 

[My_First]

Personally I think it is rude the lady said that, and as said, its not my cup of tea, but each to their own.

I woudl like to comment on some interesting points though and some personal opinion.
For me, I do too wonder for whom's benefit it is for and in my opinion, maybe its more for the mothers, and an aspect of not wanting their baby to have their own independence, letting go, etc. but thats just my psychology training coming in..

Also with regards to the sexual comments with boobs, my breast feeding book mentioned that it is common to get slightly aroused when breast feeding your baby, and so the fine line between them being 'sexual' or not is not that defined.

Finally, with the comment people make on other cultures, we are not living in those cultures, just as they are not living here. Maybe they would like to try our way, and might prefer it? We have a much more conveient, busy, working world,(in the West) where talking a baby into a client board meeting in a sling is not deemed appropriate, but thats our culture. Its the way we are. the fact that many do not extend breastfeed, is not a sad reflection on our society, its our culture. We dont not need to learn from other cultures, as many ways would not fit.

 

[Maman]

im all for breastfeeding if a child wants it, but thats personal opinion. My son wont breastfeed from me now as he says its for babies.

however that lady was incredibly rude. its not her place to judge and she was implying that your friend was breastfeeding for another reason than to feed her child by saying it was disgusting. She was out of order. Tell your friend not to feel upset or down x

 

[Blah11]

Personally I think it is rude the lady said that, and as said, its not my cup of tea, but each to their own.

I woudl like to comment on some interesting points though and some personal opinion.
For me, I do too wonder for whom's benefit it is for and in my opinion, maybe its more for the mothers, and an aspect of not wanting their baby to have their own independence, letting go, etc. but thats just my psychology training coming in..

Also with regards to the sexual comments with boobs, my breast feeding book mentioned that it is common to get slightly aroused when breast feeding your baby, and so the fine line between them being 'sexual' or not is not that defined.

Finally, with the comment people make on other cultures, we are not living in those cultures, just as they are not living here. Maybe they would like to try our way, and might prefer it? We have a much more conveient, busy, working world,(in the West) where talking a baby into a client board meeting in a sling is not deemed appropriate, but thats our culture. Its the way we are. the fact that many do not extend breastfeed, is not a sad reflection on our society, its our culture. We dont not need to learn from other cultures, as many ways would not fit.

lol, theres nothing more UNsexual than having a baby breastfeeding, especially when you're in agony. After the pain goes away you dont feel anything cos your nipples are that used to it.

 

[cherryglitter]

i dont get where this sexual connection comes from with breastfeeding.