TMI - Fed up because I did the wrong thing with the remains

[minimoocow]

I had a third miscarriage on Saturday. Everything passed naturally which was good as I had an appointment yesterday to book a D&C.

When the sac came out I didn't know what to do with it . I was going to phone the hospital but DH convinced me I was ok and had an appointment on Monday so no need (why did I listen to him?). I didn't want to cause a fuss and had called them only a couple of hours before and they said I was fine to stay at home as long as I could manage and wasn't soaking through a pad every hour which I wasn't so I understand why he said I was ok because I was.

I should have been 8 weeks but only measured 5 on the scan so there wasn't much to look at. As it was my third miscarriage I thought it could be tested to give us a few clues as to why. Also last time it didn't all come out in one go and took me another 9 weeks to get back to normal so I wasn't sure if it needed to be examined to see if it was in tact.

As it was the weekend I didn't know what to do to preserve it so I but it in a bag in the freezer. When I went to the hospital yesterday they said they could have tested it if I brought it in on Saturday but can't now because it's been frozen

I also now have the problem of what to do with it now and had bad dreams because its in the freezer. So fed up about it.

 

[mssk]

I am so sorry for your losses minimoocow. I had my second miscarriage this sunday I should have been 8 weeks 5 days but at my 8 week scan last Tuesday I measured 5 weeks. I had been bleeding so I wasn't surprised it ended. I got pregnant with this last pregnancy directly following a previous miscarriage. No AF in between. The Dr. told me my uterus probably didn't have enough time to recover. Still I thought maybe they could test the tissue. I had no idea what to do with it. I also put the sac in the freezer. Besides ruining the tissue my Dr. also said he would not test it unless I miscarry again. I am sorry your going through this. It is so hard not having answers. Last time i miscarried I was either in shock or denial and flushed the tissue I was only 6 weeks but I couldn't sleep for weeks from regret. I read a recent post on here by a mom who bought a small plant and placed the remains in the plant. It seemed like a nice way to say goodbye. I hope that you are well and that things look up soon.

 

[minimoocow]

Thanks Mssk and sorry for your losses. It's rubbish when they won't do anything after 2 miscarriages. Statistically you are likely to have a healthy pregnancy next time but it would be so much nicer to know if you have problems. Having said that I was cautiously happy this time. I think if I get pregnant again I won't be excited at all. I feel that has been taken away

This time the first thing they did (before discussing management options) was to get me a referral to the miscarriage clinic for investigations although I think I got super lucky with the nurse who mentioned she was suffering in the same way so I think she knew the score from first hand experience.

OH is very practical and has mentioned doing something with it a couple of times. I think it would help him to move on but I'm not sure I am ready. Hopefully we can come to a suitable compromise . . .

 

[xloulabellex]

I'm so sorry for your loss ladies