TMI (picture) please please help!!!

[Kandl123]

I can't believe they didn't see you sooner. I really really feel for you that you went through it alone, no one should ever have to go through it never mind by themselves. I had my partner with me every second of it and I felt alone. So big to you.

I see what you mean with you mean friend, I don't think I'd be able to face her. I know she's your "friend" but she's got a heathy happy baby where she only wanted it "for guilt" reasons. Why are they the ones that live happily ever after? And people like us don't xxx

 

[Natty_babez]

My other half tried to get home he came home on the Wednesday but had to go back away on the Thursday so I took my mum with me when I had to go to the hospital for the scan.

I haven't spoken to her she knows something is wrong but to be honest I don't want her in my life anymore the people who have been here for me the past few weeks are the ones I want in my life right now. As cheesy as it may sound as well though the ladies on here helped me through a lot as well all that week when I was awake through the night someone was on here to talk to.

You just need to remember Hun that what you've been through is a big thing and give yourself plenty of time to grieve and get angry and sad and go through all the emotions also take care of yourself take it easy and rest your body is going through a big ordeal. How are you feeling today ? Did the hospital give you something for your pain

Xxx

 

[Kandl123]

Least he tried his best to be there with you, bless him. And least you was able to have your mum by your side at the scan.

Yeah I see what you mean, you don't need people like that in your life. When you go though something like this, you find out who your true friends are and who you need in your life. This website is a godsend. It has helped me loads, this might sound cheesy too.. But you have helped me a lot too.. You've always replied and never ignored me. And you kept me positive when I needed to. So Thankyou for that

Today, I just feel numb, I don't want to eat or drink and I just wanna cry and cry. I should of been at work today today but phoned in sick and told them I won't be on for the rest of the week. I wouldn't be able to face it. I'd just cry every time I saw a baby or a pregnant lady.
Hospital gave me paracetamol and codeine. I honestly cannot thank them enough for how they was with me, except the one woman who sat me in that waiting room.

How do you feel now, 2 weeks later? Xx

 

[Natty_babez]

Aw your more than welcome Hun a lady on here helped me through mine and I'm so glad I could help you I honestly think only women who have been through this terrible thing can really understand how you feel and what your going through and all the different emotions you feel xxx

I'm ok it still feels really raw some days and then other times I feel ok. I still cry a lot specially as we haven't told our little girl so she still thinks I have a baby in my belly and says and asks thing so that's hard but I think the thought of having a healthy baby keeps me going and it will in time do for you as well 😄

Xxx

 

[Kandl123]

Yeah, you can't truly understand it if you've never been through it. It's a horrible feeling and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Wow, you're doing well still keeping it together for your daughter. Mine asked about baby soon as she got home.. I just cried and I had to tell her. I had question after question after question but she understands and says she's sad. But I'm glad I've told her xx

 

[Vicky_92]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby last Wednesday, I was only 6 weeks and only knew for 10 days I was pregnant but it felt like a lifetime and I loved my little bean so much. I'm nearly recovered physically but mentally that's going to take a while. I feel similar to you as in blaming myself and I can't say 'stop blaming yourself' when I'm doing it too. But I love this quote I read 'if love could of saved you, you would of lived forever'.

Big hugs and again I am so so sorry.

 

[Kandl123]

No matter how far on you are, or how long you've known.. You still love your little bean with your world. You grow a bond with it. I only knew for 3 weeks but it felt like a lifetime and my world now feels shattered.

I love that quote it's a beautiful saying

& im so sorry for your loss too

 

[Natty_babez]

How old is your little one ? I didn't really know what to do for the best i didn't know whether to try and explain it but my other half just said she wouldn't understand and we can try again and she'd never know or understand how long it takes I feel awful coz whenever she asks about it I change the subject quick she has seen me cry a few times but I just said mummy's sad and needs a cuddle.

That is a lovely saying Vicky I really like this one
An angel of life wrote down my babies

 

[Natty_babez]

Sorry the post sent before is finished !!

An angel from the book of life wrote down my babies birth and whispered as she closed the book and said to beautiful for this earth

 

[Vicky_92]

That's a lovely saying natty_babez. I love wee quotes.

 

[Natty_babez]

Me to they seem to help a little I could spend hours looking at them

Xxx

 

[Kandl123]

My little one is 4 (born June 2011). She is a smart girl and she did understand.. I told her the baby had gone to "baby heaven" she asked why it's gone there, how it got to baby heaven, how they got it out of my belly, what did they put it in to send it to heaven.. They were hard to answer to be honest but I'm glad I told her. Rather than her ask about baby and put me through the ordeal of knowing there isn't one. She will still talk about the baby, but it won't be as hard on me now she knows.

You're right, she won't know how long it will take but at the same time it will be hard on you when she asks about the baby. But whatever is best for you, if you find it easier to let her carry on how she is then keep it that way . You know your own daughter and how she will take it/understand it. How old is she? Xx

 

[Natty_babez]

She's 4 also born April 2011 it is hard for me when she asks all the time I'm thinking it might be easier to just sit her down and explain that way I might deal with this better not having to dread her asking all the questions all the time and having to try and change the subject or lie to her which I hate doing.

Is your little girl starting school this time ? My little girl starts next Monday and I'm so scared I'll dwell in my own pity once I don't have her keeping me on my toes all day

Xxx

 

[Kandl123]

In my personal opinion id say tell her, I think it would make it easier on you. But you know your daughter well enough to make your own decisions. And you know what you can and can't deal with. It's not nice having to lie to them, I know.
If you do tell her just be prepared for questions.

Yeah she starts tomorrow, only half days though then starts all day next Monday. I feel what you mean, I'm dreading the exact same thing happening, so I really don't know what to suggest. I'd say keep busy, but there's only so much housework or whatever that we can do to keep our minds busy 😞 xxx

 

[Natty_babez]

All I keep thinking is I teach her not to lie and that she can talk to me about anything but then I'm lying to her so it's double standards and not setting a very good example to her ... I am seriously considering it now to make it easier for all of us.

My house is going to be spotless and my cupboards are going to be fit to bursting I'm even thinking of decorating anything to keep my mind busy !!

How are you feeling tonight ?

Xxx

 

[Kandl123]

But she doesn't know you're lying to her. I totally understand what you mean and where you're coming from (because you know you are lying although she doesn't)
I also thought of it this way too to help me decide... What if when she starts school and tells her friends her "mummy is having a baby" that would be pretty hard on you. I'm not trying to get you tell her, as it might come across that way.

I know I've thought about decorating too, anything to keep me busy. I work but only 16 hours so that doesn't cut it as I only do 2 days a week.

Tonight, just the same as earlier really. Still feel empty and numb. I keep on having spells where I just sit and cry. Then I'm okay, then I'll cry again. Don't feel like talking to anyone except people on here, cause you all understand me. Caught up on eastenders tonight (last nights & then tonight's) that was horrible to watch, cried all way though it, but I just couldn't turn it off either xxx

 

[Kandl123]

I'm also having horrible cramping.. The sort of cramping I had when my mc started 😞. I wonder if it's the rest of the clots ready to come out.. The doctor did say there was a few left in me that will come out over next couple of days, that's why she prescribed pain killers. I just want all the pain to be over now, I feel like I've suffered enough xx

 

[Natty_babez]

That has crossed my mind she keeps saying I've got a baby in my belly I think telling her is going to be the best decision really now I've thought about it properly.

I work but at the minute I've been signed off work which I'm glad about as I don't think I could cope being in work right now my head is just not with it at all I'm forgetting things and can't concentrate so I dread to think what I'd be like in work.

Eastenders was heartbreaking wasn't it I watched it and cried all the way through my other half just had to hold me it was one of them were you just had to keep watching even though you know it's not helping. I've not been able to watch one born every minute though I usually love that programme but it would be to painful. You have absolutely suffered to much it is awful how the pain is just being prolonged and that it feels like it is being dragged out over days and every time you go to the toilet your reminded of it. I really feel for you Hun

Xxx

 

[Kandl123]

Let me know if you decide to tell her and how she is. I don't want to go into work with me been customer facing, babies/pregnant women or songs on radio will set me off straight away. And no one at work knows I was pregnant, which is pretty hard. I was waiting for my 22 week scan which should have been on the 23rd 😢.

Eastenders was awful, I cried all the way through too... But yeah, it's one what you can't stop watching. Oh I wouldn't be able to watch it either, it makes me cry happy tears watching it normally.. Now id just cry sadness all way through.

Yeah that's exactly how it is. You just think "hasn't my body been through enough without you giving me more pain and reminders" how long does the bleeding last? Cx

 

[Natty_babez]

I've not told her yet we've been busy today and she's a bit of colour so I'm gonna have a chat with her tonight I think I don't think we give her enough as I do think she'd understand and I don't want to lie to her anymore.

I feel like my body is playing horrible tricks on me at the minute I've been having all the symptoms I had when I was pregnant before my miscarriage and the last few days I've had weird pains it's really confusing !!

Hope your ok today or atleast feeling a little better

Xxx