To circumcise or NOT to circumcise?!

[Shadowy Lady]

OP - good for you for being informed and doing your research. Here in Canada, circumcition is common but not as common as the US. None of my friends who have boys in the last 3 years had their son circumcized even though most of their hubbies are cut. People are becoming more educated about the issue and aren't just going with the "norm".

My DH is not circumcised and if we ever had a boy, we will not cut him.

And about the "look" thing - I've been with both cut and un-cut men and don't have a preference about either way. It's more about what the can do with it lol!

 

[Kess]

As well as issues around bodily integrity and consent, I have an issue with the origins of circumcision. It was originally to prevent masturbation, and that's a weird puritanical attitude I object to. The cleanliness claims were tacked on to keep people circumcising (no coincidence that it's America with its paid-for health system that kept circumcising is it?), which makes me doubt them. That, and the fact I know of no-one who has had a bad enough infection that circumcision would've been a better option than a course of antibiotics.

My partner is Muslim, I know if I have a boy he is going to want to circumstise him. It's really hard as I can't bear to see my baby in pain. I cannot watch the video it's to much right now. Part of me hoping I have another girl.

Is there any provision in Islam for any alternative ceremony? I know in some branches of Judaism there's a Brit Shalom, where they welcome the baby without circumcising.

I don't really see why you would cut a child unless for medical reasons and especially "because it looks nicer "

OP - good for you for being informed and doing your research. Here in Canada, circumcition is common but not as common as the US. None of my friends who have boys in the last 3 years had their son circumcized even though most of their hubbies are cut. People are becoming more educated about the issue and aren't just going with the "norm".

My DH is not circumcised and if we ever had a boy, we will not cut him.

And about the "look" thing - I've been with both cut and un-cut men and don't have a preference about either way. It's more about what the can do with it lol!

LOL. I think preferences for the look of a circumcised penis are down to what you're used to and what your culture tells you looks nice. I think they look really odd, frankly, kind of, well, like something's missing! I much prefer the natural look, but that's what I've grown up with around in my culture. I also wouldn't know what to do with a cut penis. I mean how do you... erm.. never mind...

I've heard that rates of circumcision are falling in the US, though it's very regional. Most recent, US-wide rate I read was just under 55%, and dropping.

 

[Fergie]

My ex husband was Turkish and cut. Well I say cut, but mutilated is probably nearer the mark. When I was pregnant he'd already made up his mind that he would never put his son, if we had one, through that. I have never met any male who has had infections because he has a foreskin. I don't agree with cutting unless it is a medical necessity, religion should only come into it when the son is old enough to understand and agree to a religious practice.

 

[catty]

I think here in scotland its fairly rare to be circumcised.
I had a placement in the operating room and 20-30 boys would get snipped day, these were all religous ones. The doctors also told me they take more care when doing it for religious reasons than medical which I thought was quite shocking

 

[CMarie]

OP - I did the same thing as you when I was pregnant with my LO...watched a video of the procedure on YouTube. I was bawling my eyes out and knew I couldn't do that to my baby, so he's not circumcised. There's a lot of amazing resources out there that prove how harmful it really is to the baby even mentally.

 

[themaybaby]

I think here in scotland its fairly rare to be circumcised.
I had a placement in the operating room and 20-30 boys would get snipped day, these were all religous ones. The doctors also told me they take more care when doing it for religious reasons than medical which I thought was quite shocking

Wow... Really. I don't think it's right to be more careful doing a circumcision because it's for religious reasons.. That's horrible!

 

[themaybaby]

OP - I did the same thing as you when I was pregnant with my LO...watched a video of the procedure on YouTube. I was bawling my eyes out and knew I couldn't do that to my baby, so he's not circumcised. There's a lot of amazing resources out there that prove how harmful it really is to the baby even mentally.

Thanks for kinda backing me up on the video watching thing. Someone said something about how I shouldn't post a video. But it's the honest truth about what's happening to the baby. And like you, I had no idea of what the procedure was like. So I posted it to shed some light so maybe women like us would realize what exactly happens. I have a stepson and my fiancee had no idea this happened to him, as he is circumcised. How could his ex as a mother or him as his father let him go through such a thing without even knowing what it was.. He was appalled when I showed him the video and said "We're not circumcising our boy". He was sad to know that that is what his son had to go through and recalled that when they brought him back to the room he seemed drugged up and woozy.

 

[Dragonfly]

3 boys intact here. Though saying intact is weird as there only is intact boys here. Its not even spoken about and such an alien topic to me. I just wanted to state that from my end of the world as I know in some places in America its all done. I would never consider this ever. To be honest it horrifies me.

 

[CMarie]

OP - I did the same thing as you when I was pregnant with my LO...watched a video of the procedure on YouTube. I was bawling my eyes out and knew I couldn't do that to my baby, so he's not circumcised. There's a lot of amazing resources out there that prove how harmful it really is to the baby even mentally.

Thanks for kinda backing me up on the video watching thing. Someone said something about how I shouldn't post a video. But it's the honest truth about what's happening to the baby. And like you, I had no idea of what the procedure was like. So I posted it to shed some light so maybe women like us would realize what exactly happens. I have a stepson and my fiancee had no idea this happened to him, as he is circumcised. How could his ex as a mother or him as his father let him go through such a thing without even knowing what it was.. He was appalled when I showed him the video and said "We're not circumcising our boy". He was sad to know that that is what his son had to go through and recalled that when they brought him back to the room he seemed drugged up and woozy.

I know some will think this is extreme, but in my opinion, if you can't watch a video of what happens when a baby boy is circumcised, you shouldn't be getting your son circumcised. There's a lot of studies done on how the shock of the pain they go through effects their brains and also how sometimes (not often), babies can die from this procedure. It's completely unnecessary My husband responded the same way your fiance did too. He only watched about a minute of the video before he said no way is our kid getting that done

 

[catty]

I think here in scotland its fairly rare to be circumcised.
I had a placement in the operating room and 20-30 boys would get snipped day, these were all religous ones. The doctors also told me they take more care when doing it for religious reasons than medical which I thought was quite shocking

Wow... Really. I don't think it's right to be more careful doing a circumcision because it's for religious reasons.. That's horrible!

Thats what I thought!! I think they were maybe joking about but they said the dads of children getting it done for religious reasons would be really hard on them so they made sure to do it perfectly.

I think it was probably lunch room joking tbh

 

[lindseymw]

Neither of my boys are circumcised. It was something that never occured to me to get done.

I have never seen a circumcised willy & only know of one person to have the procedure. It was a medical decision when he was around 6 years old.

I have never understood the 'it's cleaner' argument. Surely you can wash it like every other part of the body?

I don't understand the religious reason either. Does it state in the Qu'ran (I hope this is right one!) that boys have to be circumcised?

 

[teal]

My son is not circumcised.

 

[sue_88]

Definitely to NEVER circumcise. I think it's an awful thing to want to put your innocent baby through

A newborn baby doesn't need something removing to 'make them look nicer'

Babies are perfect as they are.

 

[Fergie]

I don't understand the religious reason either. Does it state in the Qu'ran (I hope this is right one!) that boys have to be circumcised?

I can't speak for the Torah or the Jewish faith, but it doesn't state anywhere in the Qur'an that boys should be circumcised. In fact it clearly states that man was created by Allah and created perfectly. So why when it states that man was created perfectly do parents in the name of Allah decide that the foreskin is better cut off .

The work of Allah who has 'perfected everything (Qur'an 27:88)

Allah created the heavens and the Earth for a true purpose, He designed you, and has perfected your design. You will all return to Him. (Qur'an 64:3)

My ex husband had a lot of problems stemming from his circumcision, to the point where Drs were never sure if he'd be able to have kids. It's not something that should be taken lightly and or in the name of religion.

 

[fantastica]

I think it's quite rare to do it just for the sake of it in the UK, it doesn't even come up. My OH is circumcised but due to medical reasons at around age 7, he remembers the pain so definitely wouldn't have considered it for our son. I really don't understand why people do. I know there are 'religious' reasons, but I'm ignorant to exactly what those reasons are. Although, I don't think it can really be compared with female genital mutilation, that is a whole other issue.

 

[misspriss]

I think it's quite rare to do it just for the sake of it in the UK, it doesn't even come up. My OH is circumcised but due to medical reasons at around age 7, he remembers the pain so definitely wouldn't have considered it for our son. I really don't understand why people do. I know there are 'religious' reasons, but I'm ignorant to exactly what those reasons are. Although, I don't think it can really be compared with female genital mutilation, that is a whole other issue.

Why not? Male Circumcision is the physical equivalent of WHO Type 1a Female Genital Mutilation (Removal of the clitoral hood).

How can you say you can't compare the removal of one sex's genitalia for cosmetic purposes to the removal of another sex's genitalia for cosmetic purposes? What separates them? Is it simply because people who practice male circumcision don't want to think that what they do to their sons is essentially the same as some female genital mutilation? Does it make them uncomfortable to realize that it is the same thing?

 

[Rachel_C]

I'm completely against circumcision of infants or children who are too young to give informed consent for anything other than real medical need. What an adult chooses to do with his willy is none of my concern.

OH is Muslim so he was quite keen that if we had boys they would be circumcised. I got really upset about it when I was pregnant with my first. He didn't realise how strongly I felt about it and I don't think he'd ever really looked into it. When I explained my reasons, he readily agreed that we would wait and when our son was old enough to decide for himself, OH could tell him why he thought it was a good idea, I would tell him why I thought it was a bad idea and he could choose.

In the Qur'an it says, "Let there be no compulsion in religion". It's talking about people being free to choose their own religion so it doesn't relate directly to circumcision but it does mean that you're not supposed to pressure anybody into accepting Islam. I wouldn't do that to my child and OH doesn't either, and it would be completely wrong for us to permanently alter our child's body in the name of a religion that he may not even choose to accept.

There are Jewish and Muslim organisations who are against circumcision of infants, not everybody is pro-circ from the 'circumcising religions', thankfully.

We didn't have boys anyway but I'm glad we discussed it before having the girls. It's set the tone for how we talk about religion with them.

 

[overcomer79]

It's not the norm here in the UK, unless it's for religious reasons. We're not doing it, just because most don't and hubby is fine ha ha x

It's as normal as wearing clothes here in the US.. So hopefully if any other US moms see this they can make a decision is well. I hope it helps someone.

It's dropping in the US. My pediatrician said that 3/4 of his male patients aren't done. I made the decision not to and caught hell from my family telling me my son would be dead at six months. Well he's four and a half and has never had any issue. I did 3 months of research with him. I decided it wasn't necessary. I didn't need a video to change my mind.

 

[lhancock90]

I have to be honest. I have seen circed and uncirced and I just don't think in general either of those looks very nice. It's not like penises are a great work of art anyway. So that justification is just, ridiculous to me.

I think as it's not my body, it's not my decision. So I won't pierce my daughters ears or cosmetically alter any part of their bodies so if I do ever have a son, I certainly won't circumcise.

As a point of interest here, is saying " but it's fine for religious reasons" just something people say to avoid offending others?
Why is it okay if it's for religious reasons? If I beat my children with a stick for "religious reasons" is that okay? Why do any of the reasons we all give NOT to do it become invalid once it's for "religious reasons"
I'm not saying this is something I believe. I'm just providing a topic of discussion there.

 

[themaybaby]

It's not the norm here in the UK, unless it's for religious reasons. We're not doing it, just because most don't and hubby is fine ha ha x

It's as normal as wearing clothes here in the US.. So hopefully if any other US moms see this they can make a decision is well. I hope it helps someone.

It's dropping in the US. My pediatrician said that 3/4 of his male patients aren't done. I made the decision not to and caught hell from my family telling me my son would be dead at six months. Well he's four and a half and has never had any issue. I did 3 months of research with him. I decided it wasn't necessary. I didn't need a video to change my mind.

Wow! What an awesome family to tell you your kid would be dead at six months