to circumcise or not?

[tashak88]

double post..sorry

 

[KandyKinz]

blutea - I have seen comments on other boards (can't remember where) where women circ'd one boy but not the other... things were totally fine.. .don't think there were any issues.
convincing your husband may be a totally different matter
IF he does insist and convince you... look into some pain killing options! There are many doctors who agree with using a topical numbing agent to reduce the trauma of the procedure. Nursing during the procedure or right after can help soothe the baby too.

I'm trying to get my DH to start talking about it.. .he just doesn't seem to want to think about that stuff

He did have the painkiller (both the injected and topical) and it didn't make a difference. He was still in extreme pain. So much so that he would gasp for air and turn purple. We did nurse right after but he refused because he was in so much pain and it took a week to get that back on track. It took two weeks for him to not scream when he peed and the circ sight bled for a month. A few weeks after the procedure it became infected and developed a yeast infection. He still has redness and inflammation from time to time. In my humble opinion, it seems an uncirc'd penis would be much healthier and cleaner, especially during the diaper years.

It's absolutely heartbreaking isn't it to see your son in so much pain and know that it was completely unnecessary. I've been trying to shake the nightmare of having my son circumcised, but it's just stuck with me now We literally spent days lying in bed together cause everytime I'd pick him up he'd just scream out in pain. He may not remember that now but I certainly will never forget it!

 

[nkbapbt]

I am popping in from the first tri..hope that's ok!

I just wanted to say, we decided to not circumcise our son..well maybe what's more..I decided. Firstly he was born 17 weeks early and after 5 surgeries, it just did not seem fair to put him through more pain (even if dr's say it's not painful...). But I also watched it being done on Youtube and couldn't even watch it all the way through.

That being said, I am anti-circumcision...HOWEVER I also think that every parent is entitled to their own opinions and set of thoughts on this subject.

For me, while this might seem brutal but it is what I think/feel (please feel very much free to disagree!) if I had a daughter who say didn't end up with large breasts like myself, I would certainly not rush out and get her implants, so she did. Yes I know it's not exactly the same thing, however it's been proven circumcision is not needed (therefore it is cosmetic like implants). And it is also altering ones body. And it comes down to how your child feels about their body.

I think if raised to know that being different regardless of body parts, lack there of or whatever...is a good thing. It really doesn't matter if daddy and son look alike.

I also want to mention while in the NICU Lakai actually got an UTI and has Stage 2 reflux on his left kidney. The doctor said if he had another UTI he would need to be cut, but there was no medical reason as it was to do so. He also said to not retract the foreskin until it naturally starts doing so, around 4-6 years old.

Another thing I would like to share is...my 13 year old half brother recently (this year!) got circumcised a little for health reasons but more because he was made to feel like he would be made fun of in the locker room, as he is starting hockey school next year. I am ashamed to say that my bio mom actually allowed him to believe being uncut was a cause for him to worry about being made fun of!

But the thing I wanted to really share, is it was a very painful experience for him for about a week. Then he was totally fine. They put adults/teens right under for it and the recovery time is very quick.

I think in the end my feelings are if Lakai wants to do it when he is older that is his choice. I will love him regardless, but right now it's his body and his choice.

 

[KandyKinz]

I have a question that has sparked my curiosity... One of the common reasons I see people deciding to circumcise is because they want the baby to look like their daddy.... But how often do sons look at their father's parts???? Around here it's just not common to see your parents naked so I just don't see why this son/father comparison would be an issue.

 

[blutea]

This might have been said before..but I'm gonna state my opinion!!

I think a little boy should be like his daddy, either circumsized or not...(don't want baby growing up looking 'different' from his daddy..make sense?) lol

and yeah, our insurance doesn't cover it..We will have to pay $250 dollars to get our lil man circumsized...

I have thought and thought about this but no it does not make sense. When will a boy see his dad's penis? When will he see your vagina? All penises are different anyway.

 

[blutea]

blutea - I have seen comments on other boards (can't remember where) where women circ'd one boy but not the other... things were totally fine.. .don't think there were any issues.
convincing your husband may be a totally different matter
IF he does insist and convince you... look into some pain killing options! There are many doctors who agree with using a topical numbing agent to reduce the trauma of the procedure. Nursing during the procedure or right after can help soothe the baby too.

I'm trying to get my DH to start talking about it.. .he just doesn't seem to want to think about that stuff

He did have the painkiller (both the injected and topical) and it didn't make a difference. He was still in extreme pain. So much so that he would gasp for air and turn purple. We did nurse right after but he refused because he was in so much pain and it took a week to get that back on track. It took two weeks for him to not scream when he peed and the circ sight bled for a month. A few weeks after the procedure it became infected and developed a yeast infection. He still has redness and inflammation from time to time. In my humble opinion, it seems an uncirc'd penis would be much healthier and cleaner, especially during the diaper years.

It's absolutely heartbreaking isn't it to see your son in so much pain and know that it was completely unnecessary. I've been trying to shake the nightmare of having my son circumcised, but it's just stuck with me now We literally spent days lying in bed together cause everytime I'd pick him up he'd just scream out in pain. He may not remember that now but I certainly will never forget it!

Yes, it was very tramatizing and I will never forget either. And it's all coming back because we have to make the decision to circ (what my husband wants) or not circ (what I want) again!

 

[KandyKinz]

You don't think that showing/telling him stories of others would be strong enough to sway him? There are plenty of sites out there that even include pictures, maybe that would help. If you feel strongly that you don't want to cut, you should make him do the research on the scientific facts. I've never been a fan of the bandwagon effect anyway. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean that we need to! Istill have no idea where circumcision originated from or why. I know Christians say they do it because Jesus was circumcised, but I have no idea why. Why was Jesus circumcised? Who the hell came up with the idea to mutilate little boys' penises? Why do Jews and Muslims do it? Why do some African cultures circumcise women? Why have so many cultures been so misogynistic in their early years? Why am I asking so many questions that are leading to a tangent?I don't know!

We looked into this after our son was circ'd. We are christian and that was one of the reasons we had it done to our son. Then, we researched further and discovered that in the New Testament God told us that it is no longer necessary to be circ'd to be a christian. This made me cry and I felt so betrayed by the people who told me that it was God's command because it is not! I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that Jews do it because they do not believe that Jesus is our savior so therefore the New Testament is not relevant to them.

I was told the same thing... that the reason Jewish individuals circumcise is because they do not follow New Testament teachings.

 

[nkbapbt]

I have a question that has sparked my curiosity... One of the common reasons I see people deciding to circumcise is because they want the baby to look like their daddy.... But how often do sons look at their father's parts???? Around here it's just not common to see your parents naked so I just don't see why this son/father comparison would be an issue.

I have always wondered this too. It's not common around here either, but yet I get this as a reason a lot. I personally have never compared my private parts to my mom's (my bio mom or adoptive!). I have maybe wondered if I would end up with her figure (weight), but that's it.

Personally, I think when kids do see their parents private parts is during a time when a. they wouldn't give a hoot anyways and b. won't remember. And say if they did when they were older like a teenager, I doubt they would care?

 

[PrayinForBaby]

Havent got a chance to read whole thread before I googled stuff lol But this one article may have just changed my mind...the prep and procedure section with the picture of the restraint just made me ill at the thought of my child being there....
https://www.uptodate.com/patients/content/topic.do?topicKey=~33PE4iTilXjAf
My hubby and I went back and forth with this before we found out we were expecting a girl as I was for it and he is against it (although he has been circumcised)...but now, if our next baby is a boy he just may get his way.

 

[blutea]

Havent got a chance to read whole thread before I googled stuff lol But this one article may have just changed my mind...the prep and procedure section with the picture of the restraint just made me ill at the thought of my child being there....
https://www.uptodate.com/patients/content/topic.do?topicKey=~33PE4iTilXjAf
My hubby and I went back and forth with this before we found out we were expecting a girl as I was for it and he is against it (although he has been circumcised)...but now, if our next baby is a boy he just may get his way.

That's great that your reconsidering!

One thing that my husband and I are struggling with right now is that it seems like a tug of war...my decision against his. But, I"m trying to get it through his thick, defensive, insecure head that it's about the baby. It should be the choice of the person who owns the penis!

 

[PrayinForBaby]

Could I do this to my brand new baby?

https://www.medicalvideos.us/videos/253/

No. I can't even get through the video.

OMG Thats terrible! Yea, this thread has definitely changed my vote and after reading some info i googled....i feel like a bad mommy for even thinking about it now if I would've had a boy

 

[Guera]

I have a question that has sparked my curiosity... One of the common reasons I see people deciding to circumcise is because they want the baby to look like their daddy.... But how often do sons look at their father's parts???? Around here it's just not common to see your parents naked so I just don't see why this son/father comparison would be an issue.

Not only that but like I said before a mans penis really shouldnt look like a little boys penis anyway.

 

[ChristinaRN]

I'm just curious how many of you have spent a day hanging out at a surgery center? Or hung out with a man (not baby) who has just been circumcised? It's not pretty in adulthood. Having seen it be done in real life on both babies and men....I've seen babies SLEEP through the procedure!!! I've never seen a man come through it with out pain...and lots of it. For those of you who say it rarely needs to be done in adulthood, think again. Men just don't talk about it!
Like others have said....you can read a million things on the internet that will try to skew science in their direction. This HAS to be a personal decision. That personal decision takes culture, religion and personal beliefs into consideration. Only you can make the right decision for your kid.

 

[Miss_BB]

I say no! The foreskin is there for a reason to keep the glans in tip top shape!
A man can be unhygienic whether circumcised or not, if you bring the child up to be clean, show them how to clean properly (Mother or Father, if you can't teach it out of prudish nature or think its wrong what on earth are you having a child for?) they will be fine.

Unless there is a medical reason for it....I say leave nature alone!

https://www.circumcision.org

Very interesting site and highly informative.

 

[lisaf]

my husband did point out that since he is cut, he doesn't know how to clean one either and we'd have to learn... who teaches parents that stuff?

 

[blutea]

I'm just curious how many of you have spent a day hanging out at a surgery center? Or hung out with a man (not baby) who has just been circumcised? It's not pretty in adulthood. Having seen it be done in real life on both babies and men....I've seen babies SLEEP through the procedure!!! I've never seen a man come through it with out pain...and lots of it. For those of you who say it rarely needs to be done in adulthood, think again. Men just don't talk about it! Like others have said....you can read a million things on the internet that will try to skew science in their direction. This HAS to be a personal decision. That personal decision takes culture, religion and personal beliefs into consideration. Only you can make the right decision for your kid.

But there are millions of men in the world and throughout history who have not had any issues. I still think a man who has had a foreskin problem is in the minority.

 

[Miss_BB]

my husband did point out that since he is cut, he doesn't know how to clean one either and we'd have to learn... who teaches parents that stuff?

Thankfully we have the internet these days.
But having only been with uncircumsised men and been fortunate to watch them clean, it's just a case of pulling the foreskin right back to expose the whole glans, and give it a thorough clean all round.We have shows in the UK on Tv showing men how to clean it properly.

Some men find soaps too abrasive, and make sure it's clean with milder products.

You shouldn't do the pull back thing with a little boy until it naturally starts to do so at like 5ish . But its also important to get them to do it, as it can cause tightening of the foreskin if you don't. Which is very painful.

They also say circumcision destroys the bonding process between mother and baby. The baby gets hurt and thinks mum let it happen!

 

[blutea]

my husband did point out that since he is cut, he doesn't know how to clean one either and we'd have to learn... who teaches parents that stuff?

Thankfully we have the internet these days.
But having only been with uncircumsised men and been fortunate to watch them clean, it's just a case of pulling the foreskin right back to expose the whole glans, and give it a thorough clean all round.We have shows in the UK on Tv showing men how to clean it properly.

Some men find soaps too abrasive, and make sure it's clean with milder products.

You shouldn't do the pull back thing with a little boy until it naturally starts to do so at like 5ish . But its also important to get them to do it, as it can cause tightening of the foreskin if you don't. Which is very painful.

They also say circumcision destroys the bonding process between mother and baby. The baby gets hurt and thinks mum let it happen!

So true and I felt devistated after it happened with our first son.

 

[bekkie]

They also say circumcision destroys the bonding process between mother and baby. The baby gets hurt and thinks mum let it happen!

Sorry... this thread was mentioned in the Baby Club section and this really struck me... My little guy was circumcised when he was 2 weeks old. And I can say that it did not affect our bonding what-so-ever. He didn't even cry during the procedure. After it was done I went in and took him and nursed him, and he fell asleep. My little guy is perfectly fine and definitely still loves me lol.

It's all well and good if it isn't something you want to do for your own child, but this isn't some barbaric procedure performed in the back of a van... it's a medical procedure, performed by a doctor, They gave a local anesthetic to numb the area, and the nurse talked to him and rubbed his head the entire time so that he was comforted.

My OH knows a few men who have had the procedure done later on in life (one at 12, one at 18, and one in his 30s) and it was definitely no walk in the park.

 

[blutea]

They also say circumcision destroys the bonding process between mother and baby. The baby gets hurt and thinks mum let it happen!

Sorry... this thread was mentioned in the Baby Club section and this really struck me... My little guy was circumcised when he was 2 weeks old. And I can say that it did not affect our bonding what-so-ever. He didn't even cry during the procedure. After it was done I went in and took him and nursed him, and he fell asleep. My little guy is perfectly fine and definitely still loves me lol.

It's all well and good if it isn't something you want to do for your own child, but this isn't some barbaric procedure performed in the back of a van... it's a medical procedure, performed by a doctor, They gave a local anesthetic to numb the area, and the nurse talked to him and rubbed his head the entire time so that he was comforted.

My OH knows a few men who have had the procedure done later on in life (one at 12, one at 18, and one in his 30s) and it was definitely no walk in the park.

Do understand that your situation is uncommon. More often than not the baby is in pain.

Like I explained before my son did have the painkiller (both the injected and topical) and it didn't make a difference. He was still in extreme pain. So much so that he would gasp for air and turn purple. We did nurse right after but he refused because he was in so much pain and it took a week to get that back on track. It took two weeks for him to not scream when he peed and the circ sight bled for a month. A few weeks after the procedure it became infected and developed a yeast infection. He still has redness and inflammation from time to time. In my humble opinion, it seems an uncirc'd penis would be much healthier and cleaner, especially during the diaper years.

It is indeed a personal choice but shouldn't the person who owns the penis make that choice? I'm not trying to make you feel bad...but I do regret having our son cut.