To work or not to work?

[emalou90]

So just to clarify i do not want any opinions about being a working/SAHM im literally just trying to get opinions on 'if you were in my position' Thanks.

So i started back at work in Dec. On just higher than basic wage. 3 days a week.
Amelia at nursery for 3 days a week.
Nursery costs £414 (this includes funding from April now)
My wages aren't over £500
My rent is £475
Council tax is £115
Child/working Tax Credits is £800
i wont list the rest of my normal household bills but basically this leaves me with less than £60 a month for food/petrol/amelias clothing etc.

When i wasn't working
My rent was paid
My council tax was paid
Income support was 284pm
Child tax credits were i think roughly around the same amount..
Petrol costs were at a minimum. I sent amelia to nursery twice a week (mornings, out of my own pocket before funding) which came out of her Child benefit.



this isn't right is it?
Something doesn't add up. I was better off on benefits?

I want to work, but it doesn't seem worth it when i could be spending more quality time with Amelia before she's at school? and not struggling to make ends meet.

(i am aware there are probably people in a worse off position from me)

What would you do??

 

[lovelylaura]

I would quit which is shit because you want to work I'm in a similar situation where we actually get less with me working 3 days a week then getting child tax credit if I didn't work. Luckily my oh has a decent job but it makes me feel crap that I don't get to see my children for 3 days just to earn an honest wage. I'm really sorry your in this situation it really does show what a horrible place this county is at the moment x

 

[emalou90]

I would quit which is shit because you want to work I'm in a similar situation where we actually get less with me working 3 days a week then getting child tax credit if I didn't work. Luckily my oh has a decent job but it makes me feel crap that I don't get to see my children for 3 days just to earn an honest wage. I'm really sorry your in this situation it really does show what a horrible place this county is at the moment x

Sorry you are in this situation too.
My OH and i arent living together at the moment but trying to buy a house so we can. we wouldnt get any help when we live together as he earns 'too much' but actually its enough that he can support me if needs be.

but i wanted to work. it just isnt adding up,

 

[hulahoop09]

Thats shocking! I would deffo quit! As much as you want to work if its not paying to work then whats the point. Shows how screwed up this country is! Xx

 

[Lilmiss1]

Are there any other costs you could reduce like mobile, broadband or sky?

 

[emalou90]

Cant reduce my mobile, i need it anyway, i have no home phone. (i could reduce in around 6 months i reckon but would have to double check)

I have freeview, no sky, the basic BT package. cheapest one i could afford.

as for fuel in my car, i have to commute 30 minutes each way, i live behind a high street so don't use my car for anything else. so thats roughly £40/£60pm depends on traffic.

i dont buy anything i dont need. i cant remember the last time i bought myself a new dress! haha. but thats life so im not complaining

just stuck because if i quit, i get no help from the job centre? is that right? does anyone know?

 

[BabyJayne]

Hi. I'm not familiar with the benefits system at all - but perhaps this will help

https://www.gov.uk/benefits-adviser

Also, I am not sure how you stand with claiming Income support or JSA when you have left employment through choice.

 

[My_First]

Why not leave it for now and see what happens when you and OH live together. Things should then be more joint, he may pay half the childcare etc. Actually, could he not pay for half the childcare now, since you are looking at living together anyway. It would make it fairer?

 

[emalou90]

Why not leave it for now and see what happens when you and OH live together. Things should then be more joint, he may pay half the childcare etc. Actually, could he not pay for half the childcare now, since you are looking at living together anyway. It would make it fairer?

i see what you mean but when we live together, i'd be going to work to just put her in childcare? doesnt make any sense when i could stay at home (when me and OH live together) and we'd be ok, not great but not struggling too much.

at the mo, if i gave up my job, it would be better (i think) but i cant convince myself to quit because its not like it would be by choice, more of force because id either be financially screwed or financially slightly better off (on benefits!!! :dunno


BAHHHH so complicated.

edit: he cant pay half, as we need his wages to save for a deposit and technically that would be fraudulent as the gov give me money for some childcare x

 

[Pearls18]

I would go to work, I (personally) think it sets agood example to work for your money, nothing wrong with being a SAHM but if you're being a SAHM just because benefits are the better financial option paid by the State then I don't think that is a good example. Also, you have to think long term, what are you going to do when she's in school? Being out of the work place for a few years doesn't look great on your CV you may struggle to find work and you'll be starting froms scratch. Only working 3 days a week means you do get quite a lot of time for your daughter. This is what I would do. If your partner was the one supporting you financially not the State then I may have had a slightly different response.

 

[Pearls18]

It also annoys me the way the government doesn't acknowledge relationships living separately, I think it is morally wrong that you will be saving for a deposit for a house because your OH's income isn't considered and yet having your rent, tax and living expenses paid for by the government, so for me it is a moral as well as a financial question. Sorry to be a bit controversial.

 

[emalou90]

It also annoys me the way the government doesn't acknowledge relationships living separately, I think it is morally wrong that you will be saving for a deposit for a house because your OH's income isn't considered and yet having your rent, tax and living expenses paid for by the government, so for me it is a moral as well as a financial question. Sorry to be a bit controversial.

It's my OH's income, not mine, so he can do with it what he wants? am i wrong? i don't think so. He wants to provide for his family but can't do that by renting somewhere, therefore he is providing by saving his own, earnt money to buy a house we can all live in together and not have to rely on the government.

I hope if you are ever in my position, people show you compassion not judgement.

It annoys me that i'll be better off on benefits and people like you cause it to be stigmatised, yet it seems its my only option.

 

[Pearls18]

It also annoys me the way the government doesn't acknowledge relationships living separately, I think it is morally wrong that you will be saving for a deposit for a house because your OH's income isn't considered and yet having your rent, tax and living expenses paid for by the government, so for me it is a moral as well as a financial question. Sorry to be a bit controversial.

It's my OH's income, not mine, so he can do with it what he wants? am i wrong? i don't think so. He wants to provide for his family but can't do that by renting somewhere, therefore he is providing by saving his own, earnt money to buy a house we can all live in together and not have to rely on the government.

I hope if you are ever in my position, people show you compassion not judgement.

It annoys me that i'll be better off on benefits and people like you cause it to be stigmatised, yet it seems its my only option.

Actually, I have been in exactly your position, I worked minimum wage even though I probably would have been better off staying at home but I wouldn't know because I didn't look into it because I wanted to work for my family as my husband was unemployed at the time, a job came up and I wasn't going to pass that up even though we could have carried on with benefits. We had to live separately (not for financial reasons) and we have been on benefits, but that was not what I wanted for my family, we worked out of it and are doing really well now. I work 4 days a week, study part time and have my husband being away with work a lot to contend with but this is what we did and I am proud of it and my son will be too when he is old enough. You asked us what WE would do in your situation and I answered.

You said it's your only option when ironically you started this thread knowing full well you had two options and you were asking which one we thought you should do??? If you came here for us to make you feel better about wanting to go on benefits because you'll be better off that isn't going to be everyone's response and it isn't mine, lots of people will agree with you and make you feel better about that because it is a rubbish system we live in when it pays to not work, but that isn't how I feel so don't ask if you're not going to like the answer.

And sorry but I do think it is a massive flaw in the system that couples can choose to live separately which results in means tested benefits being inaccurate.

I'm not here to be a 'benefits basher' I fully support the benefits system, I feel for people on them because I have been there, but benefits are a safety net, not a choice, and you are talking about making a choice.

 

[xnewxmummyx]

I don't really know whAt to say because I'm on both side of the fence. I currently work 20hrs a week (4days) and earn minimum wage and am entitled to the very basic child tax credit because they over paid me last year. Also my OH earns just over the 'too much' mark to claim working tax credits, although we aren't married, nor do we have a joint bank account. I'm having to contemplate going to work another 5hours because I can only just scrape through the week after contributing to the household bills and diesel.

What does really eat me up is that my friend and her husband don't work, through choice, yet can go to the supermarket and buy non essentials everyday, they can go to town almost every weekend and buy themselves and their DD New things. Why can't I do that? Ladies at our group, also don't work and walk around in brandedclothes , pushing expensive prams, etc etc.

Anyway I'm rambling now but it just annoys me that work is now a choice, not a necessary.

If I work an extra 5hours, that means I'll be working 5 out of 7 nights and won't get to put my DD to bed, nor will there be much time for family time, and I didn't have a child to hardly see her, but unfortunately I haven't got any other option than to work.

 

[Rachel_C]

For me, it would depend on a couple of things.

The job/your career:
If your job is one where you have chance to progress, or where your career would be negatively affected by a couple of years off, I would really consider staying at work even if you're worse off in the short term. If, however, it's the type of job where career progression is unlikely or where you wouldn't want to progress, that would make me favour giving up work.

Your past contributions and your future contributions:
If you've worked in the past and paid tax and you plan to go back to work when your LO doesn't need you at home, I wouldn't feel bad about taking off the state now. It's only a few years and the benefit to your LO is probably worth the money to the government!

Living arrangements:
I don't know much about your situation but if possible, I would try and move in with OH now. Is there a reason he can't live where you are in rented accommodation? If you lived together and he could afford to support you both, you could have the best of both worlds - stay at home and know you're not a burden on the state. Personally, I would always try to change things like that before taking benefits, especially as it sounds like you will be living with OH soon-ish anyway.

 

[omfgski]

...

 

[aimee-lou]

Personally I'm in a very grey area myself. I'm currently 21w pregnant with my 3rd, and I'm currently on JSA. My hubby is a full time student so while he has an income, it's not an earned wage, and therefore isn't counted towards a lot of benefits etc. I'll be able to claim IS while on 'maternity' which is 6 months or 26 weeks, but after that I'll get virtually nothing really, but what we do get, is 'enough' to live on so I'll probably stay at home until hubby has finished his exams (less than 6 months after my IS stops) then return to work when he is off for the long summer break.

It'll mean we'll be living on:

Child Tax of approx £100 a week
Child Benefit (currently £35 a week)
Housing benefit of £30 a week towards rent
JSA/IS of £70 a week (up til November)

Hubby's student loans and grants work out at about £200 a week.
We get 'Healthy Start' vouchers which help a little with the grocery bills.

 

[Pearls18]

Did you go and put your details into a benefit calculator to see if I was right about your benefits being wrong while you are working? If I'm right you will get £1600 a month including your wages. On benefits you are looking at more like £1000. I know which I'd pick!

Edit: And MarineWAG, the government does do that. If anyone at the benefit place became aware of OPs relationship, they could examine it for any financial link of them as a couple (as simple as him bringing some shopping round to OPs house, them going food shopping together or him regularly buying a takeaway for them all), they can class them as in a relationship for benefits purposes and sanction OP accordingly. There's a whole booklet of guidelines for the benefit staff to use to decide if a couple not living together are in a relationship or not.

I didn't realise this about different benefits, back when DS was born I was living with my parents while DH (before we were married) was away in the military, I explained to tax credits that DH contributed but he lived at a different address and it didn't matter I got the biggest whack of child tax credits, until we married, then my tax credits halved even though nothing had changed physically in living locations than marital status (which I understand, he was providing for us afterall!!!). I've never been on income support etc, but tax credits don't care if they provide but live away.

 

[suzib76]

when jack and leah were little i went to work at a loss every week for over 2 years, but, i wanted to work, for myself and for them, to set an example, to not have a huge break in employment as finding a job is so very hard

our situation has changed dramatically since then, they are 11 and 10 and Lana is now 3, i still work, but we are not running at a loss

 

[Sparkles237]

i'm in the same situation, bu my fiance wants me to go back to work after maternity leave but considering my low wage all of my wage and plus some of his will have to cover nursery fees, so i would be working for free just for own son to go in a nursery all day. I only work term time too and fiance is a police officer so on the days fiance is off he will want to look after him but i will still have to pay for his nursery place, same goes for when the school holidays come round, i will have him the whole time but still have to pay fees, its not right. They want people to work yet they need nurseries to lower there fees big time so people can.