To work or not to work?

[emalou90]

Carrying on for 1 more month, then re-evaluating it.
Stressful is not the word.

 

[MrsRH]

It also annoys me the way the government doesn't acknowledge relationships living separately, I think it is morally wrong that you will be saving for a deposit for a house because your OH's income isn't considered and yet having your rent, tax and living expenses paid for by the government, so for me it is a moral as well as a financial question. Sorry to be a bit controversial.

sorry, have to agree with this

 

[Jemma_x]

If you leave work yourself and do not have a very good reason for it, you will not get JSA or income support. My OH left work to be my carer and we went for nearly 3 months with nothing until we could prove that was the reason he had left work. This was 2010 but i am sure it is still the same.

 

[emalou90]

Im all for the government not paying for people who 'dont' want to work.
but with me im in a totally different situation.
i want to work. but financially its crippling me.

some of you can judge me all you want but it makes no sense to me to carry on working and becoming worse and worse off. When Amelia's in school it'll be a different story.

 

[Pearls18]

Im all for the government not paying for people who 'dont' want to work.
but with me im in a totally different situation.
i want to work. but financially its crippling me.

some of you can judge me all you want but it makes no sense to me to carry on working and becoming worse and worse off. When Amelia's in school it'll be a different story.

It's not financially crippling you from the sums you gave us, it just isn't much sense to work for money from what you say, there's no need to be dramatic. It's usually when people have 2 children when the costs really mount up, it sounds like you are just breaking even. Because women throw around words like 'financially crippling' to make themselves feel better it makes lots of women not even look into their options.

 

[My_First]

Im all for the government not paying for people who 'dont' want to work.
but with me im in a totally different situation.
i want to work. but financially its crippling me.

some of you can judge me all you want but it makes no sense to me to carry on working and becoming worse and worse off. When Amelia's in school it'll be a different story.

I also have to say, I kind of get a sense, all the way through this, that you are getting defensive, unnecessarily, about this? No one is 'judging' you, people have given their opinions, which is what you asked for. i.e. to work or not to work.

I still don't understand why your OH cant pay half the childcare, or help you out as its both yours baby, and he doesn't seem to be paying anything, based on what you have said?

Edit: I edit to say that I have just seen your edit lol. Why would it be fraudulent if your OH give you money or buys things for your little girl?

 

[fairydust87]

Thats why I dont work. Waste of time. Im better off on benedfts at home looking after my son

 

[emalou90]

Admins can delete.



Clearly this forum has changed (as ive heard)
Its a shame its filled with such judgemental people these days rather than understanding ones.

 

[Pearls18]

Admins can delete.



Clearly this forum has changed (as ive heard)
Its a shame its filled with such judgemental people these days rather than understanding ones.

Oh get a grip!!! Don't ask a question if you've already made your mind up, you've wasted all our time! We gave thoughtful answers, your insecurities are no reflection of our character.

 

[emalou90]

I havent made my mind up.
I am not being dramatic.
You dont know all of my bills (obviously)
I am not being defensive, but if i am, its because im defending myself from the judgement as if i am choosing to live on benefits because its easier or convenient.

 

[My_First]

No one judged you, they have offered advice? I'm very confused. Please point out the offending comments as I honestly can't see them?

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Your situation is exactly what is wrong with this country.
How is it right that being a single parent on benefits is better off than a working married couple who go into debt every month to afford to live?
(I'm not blaming you, I'm blaming the government). If I didn't work we wouldn't be entitled to a penny. If I was in your position I wouldn't work, what's the point???

 

[Pearls18]

Because there is more to working than financial gain? I'd rather be paying into the system than CHOOSING to take out of it. We can blame the government all we want but we do have personal responsibility as well.

 

[Pearls18]

And she is technically a single mother as far as the government is concerned.

 

[MrsT&Ben]

Because there is more to working than financial gain? I'd rather be paying into the system than CHOOSING to take out of it. We can blame the government all we want but we do have personal responsibility as well.

Which is exactly why are work. But it doesn't make it fair does it?! Surely people should be given more of an insentive to work? When you get everything handed to you on a plate what's the point of working your arse off for nothing???

 

[Pearls18]

Because there is more to working than financial gain? I'd rather be paying into the system than CHOOSING to take out of it. We can blame the government all we want but we do have personal responsibility as well.

Which is exactly why are work. But it doesn't make it fair does it?! Surely people should be given more of an insentive to work? When you get everything handed to you on a plate what's the point of working your arse off for nothing???

I'm not saying the system is right, but think people need to reflect on their own morals and work ethic and the influence they have on their children than just blaming the government. As I say, I think there is more to work than the paycheque.

 

[aimee-lou]

Because there is more to working than financial gain? I'd rather be paying into the system than CHOOSING to take out of it. We can blame the government all we want but we do have personal responsibility as well.

Which is exactly why are work. But it doesn't make it fair does it?! Surely people should be given more of an insentive to work? When you get everything handed to you on a plate what's the point of working your arse off for nothing???

Which is exactly why the government are currently capping, cutting and freezing a lot of benefits to try to allow wages to over-take benefits and make it worth working. While I'm currently 'in' the system, I agree with these measures. The Government can't change the cost of living, or the average wage, but they can control the benefits. it sucks, as everyone would like more money, but you have to live within the means you can achieve whilst maintaining your sanity.

 

[Sparkles237]

As I say, I think there is more to work than the paycheque.

i have too 100% disagree with you there. When there is bills to pay and a child to care for, a monthly paycheck is a priority.

My situation is i would be working for every single penny of my monthly wage plus some of my fiances to go on nursery fees, when that is the case work becomes demoralizing as i will be working for free and having my child looked after all day everyday by someone else when i could be doing that.

I have worked since leaving school at 16 and paid into the system and never taken anything out i have a damn good work ethic but if for a few years i can provide a better life for my child by giving up work and claiming benefits then i will do.

 

[Pearls18]

As I say, I think there is more to work than the paycheque.

i have too 100% disagree with you there. When there is bills to pay and a child to care for, a monthly paycheck is a priority.

My situation is i would be working for every single penny of my monthly wage plus some of my fiances to go on nursery fees, when that is the case work becomes demoralizing as i will be working for free and having my child looked after all day everyday by someone else when i could be doing that.

I have worked since leaving school at 16 and paid into the system and never taken anything out i have a damn good work ethic but if for a few years i can provide a better life for my child by giving up work and claiming benefits then i will do.

I 100% disagree with you. Even if I didnt have money left over (which I do as I have worked hard to get to where I am and have spaced out having children so I wouldnt have 2 in at the same time for too long) I would still pay out, because I would never choose to take from a system that is for people in need. I think it's disgraceful how women can 'choose' to be SAHMs because the system allows it and yet theres women out there who cant make that choice because of their partner, it's an unfair system. Work is more than a pay cheque because I am paying NI and Tax helping others (and my family) I am showing my son we have to work for the food we eat, I am paying for him to be in fantastic child care that brings out the best in him, I am working on my career so when the children are in school my wage is good and life fulfilling, mostly I enjoy work, we have to work for so much of our lives it pays to have a career we enjoy- and this again is important for my son to see. If someone wants to be a SAHM because their partner earns enough, fair enough, but if you're expecting the government to pay for it I think it is morally wrong. Everything is changing, I think women are going to be in work a shock and the benefits continue to be cut. I have used the system. I have needed it. But as soon as able I got back on my feet.

I have no issues with people wanting to be SAHMs, I have no issue with people on benefits, I have issue with people CHOOSING a lifestyle that is funded by the tax payer.

 

[My_First]

Thankfully, not everyone has those views, otherwise this country would be in a worse state than it already is. The system isn't about getting what you pay in, its not a savings scheme, its there for people in crisis, desperation and for the short term. Its not a lifestyle choice. I understand people wanting to stay at home and look after their children, I absolutely get that but do it off your own back, and don't expect people to fund it for you.

Edit: I think we posted at the same time MarineWag