I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely understand the extra emotional anguish of knowing that you can't TTC. Not that you want or will ever replace the angel you just lost but not even having the option to try to conceive is an additional blow.
My first miscarriage was with someone I loved very much. We were in a very difficult relationship and were separated at the time but I very much wanted my baby regardless of the circumstances. After I lost my baby, of course I knew that the situation wasn't the best to bring a child into so I was somewhat relieved. The fact that I knew we would no longer be together intimately was hard because he was the man I loved and now I had to mourn the loss of my child, my relationship, and the future I thought we might have had.
I wasn't sure if I would ever fall in love again at the time and could not image wanting to conceive with anyone else. Three years later I knew differently. I did find love again and married. We were pregnant only 2 months after we were married. I was ecstatic...he wasn't. He eventually seemed to come around and then the worse thing imaginable happened. I lost my baby at 15 weeks just a little over a month ago. Even though I married, my husband and I don't see eye to eye on whether to have kids or not so I feel similarly to how I felt after my previous loss. I try not to think about TTC'ing because I know in my heart I would try in a heartbeat but my husband is so against it. I don't even know if it's best for me emotionally since I'm still processing losing my baby boy.
I'll pray for you because I know you are in a tough spot emotionally.
