Trying to conceive #1 Buddies!

[lesondemavie]

Super: Funny that you should mention needing a cry. I broke down sobbing as soon as I got into my car today. I hate crying, but it was cathartic. I know 10 dpo is still early for most, but my LP hasn't been longer than 10 days since August...so it's last ditch effort time for my blastocyst. Well I've just been a total mess today. Anxiety was super high for no apparent reason, crying on and off (both happy and sad tears at silly things...and I generally hate crying), and just ick. Why oh why in our moment of need do our hormones drop, taking serotonin and dopamine along for the ride? Grabbed a last minute lunch with my bestie and held her 7 month old the entire hour. It all just melted away...man I love that kid!

I know this all sounds super crazy, but I'm ok. Already feeling better a bit tonight. Hoping a few more of you have had a crazy down day like mine and find some comfort in knowing you're not alone. I know that more than one of you has done that for me. Sometimes you just have to let yourself feel what you feel and let it be.

Haha and with that...Welcome littlebean! I'm so sorry to hear about your mc, and congrats on AF! A good reminder to be thankful for the witch love it!

 

[lesondemavie]

...and down, down I go...as much as I want AF to stay away one of these months, I am thankful that it comes every month right on time.

 

[abennion]

I'm sorry, les. Are you going to be trying anything differently this next cycle?

 

[supergongjoo]

@Les Can i say how NOT crazy that sounds? Ive gone so far as to lock myself in our spare room alone and just cry. for hours. I for one just need that time to let it all out. I feel like i have to keep positive for my DH and it feels good to just not be positive for awhile.
I'm glad you let it out and i'm happy you found a baby bear to hold. I do the same with our nursery students. I just walk over to our nursery classroom and hold my favorite students ( all educators have their favorites lol) and i walk away feeling like wonder woman. Sorry AF showed but i'm glad you have a regular cycle.
My LP is 11 days and ive been reading about b6 to lengthen it. I think I will try it if AF shows. What has been working for you to lengthen your LP? Are you planning to try anything different?

@Abenn i heard of that the smep right? i was going to try that but then we didnt lol. i have been reading about progesterone and cramping. still so much more research to try to figure it out. Too bad our uterus doesnt come with an in depth manual lol

AFM still no symptoms other than the full uterus and occasional cramping which has happened to me some cycles. I plan to test on monday but i feel like i will cave and test tomorrow. our anniversary is this weekend and i would love to give DH some good news. And if its a BFN i plan to shamelessly indulging in some anniversary champagne lol

 

[psychochick]

super: of course the brown liquid is nasty, the nastier, the more potent That's what I learned about anything medicinal haha

leson: sorry that you felt so down. I feel like I get that from time to time and now I'm actually used to feeling a little fed up with TTC and am kind of "over" feeling anything about TTC. It's fun and thrilling the first few months and now it's kind of routine just like anything else. I am actually glad I'm with all you girls here, you're the only reason this process is not a complete drag

I actually had my own little crisis this week because DH's annual physical came back with abnormal numbers for his liver and his doc had him retested, and is worried that it indicates hepatitis. My first reaction at the news is to look up whether hepatitis is contagious (to me) and can be passed onto a fetus. And although I'm immune to hepA and B, hepC has no vaccines and is contagious blood to blood, and possibly bodily fluid or I suppose, "rough sex" heh. So I kind of freaked out even though hepC hadn't been confirmed. Like what if he has it, and gave it to me since we've not been using protection for TTC and then I have it. Also apparently hepC isn't' always curable, sometimes it's only treatable. And it can be passed onto a fetus 6% of the time. So anyways it just opened my imagination wildly and uh yeah.

But I've calmed a bit since then and DH's new numbers are significantly better than before although still waiting for hepatitis panel. We hope his liver's numbers were elevated due to muscle injury that he had last week after weightlifting. (so the liver will create certain serums to deal with the toxins from the muscle injury). So as soon as the muscles heal, the numbers will come down to normal. Sighs. I also felt bad that my first reaction to bad news about DH's health is to immediately think about myself and TTC. It's just so different when I have to worry about a life I'm trying to create.

 

[MagicDance]

Hey everyone... so sorry im missing everything *must do better in the new year!!* I will certainly have a catch up on the weekend.

Cd01 for me today.. seriously starting to wonder if we will ever get our bfp

 

[abennion]

@les: I think so... but don't quote me on it. I just know DH isn't happy!

AFM: No temp spike today, but I can feel her coming. BDing tonight for extra good measure, after we get back from the Science Centre. There's an Adults Night once a month where they let the adults just act like kids, climb all over the equipment and whatnot. This month's is a giant jumble of all of the topics they've done over the year, so it should be quite fun! Plus it doesn't hurt that my mother-in-law is paying for us to go, along with dinner. It should prove to be a fun night not worrying about TTC and whatnot.

 

[supergongjoo]

@psycho wise words lol
sorry about your hubby. I'll keep you guys In my prayers.
@magic so sorry af showed. How long have you guys been ttc? I saw a chart awhile back about the probability of conceiving each cycle during a 2 yr time period. I'll look for it but it's pretty encouraging. Just got to keep trying
@abenn that sounds like loads of fun! It never hurts to do something different. Have a blast love!
Afm I feel like my uterus is going to pop. Anyone have that feeling? I'm a little worried about it. Hopefully it's gas and not a cyst :/

 

[lesondemavie]

Read a bunch of stories today about couples who finally conceived after a year or more trying, and it actually made me feel better. Chances are the vast majority of us will get our BFP given enough time. I know those stats and I love charts and numbers, but sometimes anecdotes are the best cure for a breaking heart. This is hard, but I know we'll get there! Here's hoping for us all

@super: I haven't done anything besides take prenatals. I've just kinda let my LP be and do what it will. I figured it just needed some time after BCP. 2 months in a row of a 10 day LP. We'll see what this next month does. I really like to have 3 solid data points before I call it a pattern. I've read about B6 too, but they must mean more than what's already in my prenatal. I have considered trying it. I'd love to get up to 12 days.

@abe: I don't know that we're really going to do anything different this cycle. We used preseed this past month, and while it was no magic bullet (and I knew it wouldn't be), DH loved it so I think we'll keep that in the mix. I'll keep up the opks and temping so we have that to bring in if needed, and I've asked DH to get an SA when he goes in for his checkup in January.

@psych: I'd probably do the same! So glad to hear it's probably just from a muscle injury. Hoping that these medical scares are behind you and that a bfp is the only big surprise in your future!

 

[MagicDance]

super: of course the brown liquid is nasty, the nastier, the more potent That's what I learned about anything medicinal haha

leson: sorry that you felt so down. I feel like I get that from time to time and now I'm actually used to feeling a little fed up with TTC and am kind of "over" feeling anything about TTC. It's fun and thrilling the first few months and now it's kind of routine just like anything else. I am actually glad I'm with all you girls here, you're the only reason this process is not a complete drag

I actually had my own little crisis this week because DH's annual physical came back with abnormal numbers for his liver and his doc had him retested, and is worried that it indicates hepatitis. My first reaction at the news is to look up whether hepatitis is contagious (to me) and can be passed onto a fetus. And although I'm immune to hepA and B, hepC has no vaccines and is contagious blood to blood, and possibly bodily fluid or I suppose, "rough sex" heh. So I kind of freaked out even though hepC hadn't been confirmed. Like what if he has it, and gave it to me since we've not been using protection for TTC and then I have it. Also apparently hepC isn't' always curable, sometimes it's only treatable. And it can be passed onto a fetus 6% of the time. So anyways it just opened my imagination wildly and uh yeah.

But I've calmed a bit since then and DH's new numbers are significantly better than before although still waiting for hepatitis panel. We hope his liver's numbers were elevated due to muscle injury that he had last week after weightlifting. (so the liver will create certain serums to deal with the toxins from the muscle injury). So as soon as the muscles heal, the numbers will come down to normal. Sighs. I also felt bad that my first reaction to bad news about DH's health is to immediately think about myself and TTC. It's just so different when I have to worry about a life I'm trying to create.

Aw sorry I never payed attention to this.. My fingers are crossed that you get some good news back with the results, and a speedy recovery of health for him. Dont worry about your reaction, I think its understandable. No matter how hard we try obstacles that arise are very frustrating when you are ttc

 

[MagicDance]

@psycho wise words lol
sorry about your hubby. I'll keep you guys In my prayers.
@magic so sorry af showed. How long have you guys been ttc? I saw a chart awhile back about the probability of conceiving each cycle during a 2 yr time period. I'll look for it but it's pretty encouraging. Just got to keep trying
@abenn that sounds like loads of fun! It never hurts to do something different. Have a blast love!
Afm I feel like my uterus is going to pop. Anyone have that feeling? I'm a little worried about it. Hopefully it's gas and not a cyst :/

Thanks ~ that link does sound interesting so I will give it a look if you manage to find it. Gosh you should see my bookmarks I have a ttc folder

We have been ttc a year in January (so not that long in comparison with others but also long enough to panic me that something may be wrong )

How is your uterus feeling now? lol. Hope its better.. I found this article interesting - https://holyhormones.com/womens-health/menstrual-cycle/ovarian-pain-before-menstruation-%E2%80%93-causes-and-treatment/ I get pain from my left side but have never had any cysts found either.

 

[supergongjoo]

@Magic https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/age_fertility_calculator.php
It took me a second to find lol

I still have the full uterus feeling and now i have right ovary pains. its radiating to my back. I'm a little worried so ive called my gyno and made an appt for next week. hopefully its just a random pain and nothing serious!

 

[MagicDance]

@Magic https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/tools/age_fertility_calculator.php
It took me a second to find lol

I still have the full uterus feeling and now i have right ovary pains. its radiating to my back. I'm a little worried so ive called my gyno and made an appt for next week. hopefully its just a random pain and nothing serious!

Thanks That was a bit of a lift me up that I needed.

Oh, I hope its a good sign and nothing to worry about! You never know, it might just be your body getting ready

Do keep us posted. Take care

 

[lesondemavie]

I've always wondered why i feel slight cramping some cycles leading up to af. not all just a rare handful. Does anyone know why this happens?

Hmmm this could be different, but I sometimes feel twinges around O time and the week after, but not always. I researched the heck out of it...because well...I'm me . Seems that the most likely cause is fluid that is released when you O, which is perfectly normal. Apparently this fluid can be quite irritating to your uterine lining. I figure that on the cycles without the twinges, I just released less fluid.

As for cramps and cramps leading up to AF, these can also vary for me. Here's my summary of what I've learned so far: The most likely culprits are prostaglandins. These are molecular compounds that are released when our endometrium starts to break down. Prostaglandins constrict blood vessels in the uterus, causing the contractions and inflammation responsible for the pain we experience at this point in our cycles. Studies have shown that women with higher levels of prostaglandins experience more intense pain. The production of prostaglandins starts to rev up as progesterone drops 1-2 days before the next cycle begins (this should coincide with a temp drop on your bbt), and at this point we may start to experience mild symptoms. It seems that prostaglandin production and release can vary from one cycle to another, resulting in varying levels of pain and timing of pain. These compounds can also make their way into our bloodstream and affect other organs/areas of the body, causing other symptoms such as nausea, digestive issues, headaches, and even in some cases vomiting. We also have nerve endings that go to our lower back and upper legs. This is why some women get pain that radiates to these areas. The effect of prostaglandins is temporary. Symptoms can start 1-2 days before menstruation, and are usually most severe the first 1-2 days of the cycle. NSAIDs, such as Ibuprofen, reduce prostaglandin production and can minimize symptoms. They are most effective when taken prior to the onset of symptoms. If OTC medication is not enough to address the pain you experience, this could be a sign of secondary dysmenorrhea from another condition, such as PID or endometriosis.

Hope that helps answer your question! I think you did the right thing calling in about your symptoms. Hopefully all is well and they can give you some answers

 

[supergongjoo]

@magic it went away and now replaced by af cramps so CD1 for me. im going to head in to my appt anyways cause af should let up by then and i just need to know why i had those pains.
I'm glad it cheered you up. i started going into every cycle assuming it wont end in bfp and it helped me tone down the negative
@leson omg thank you. that explains the random symptoms i get some cycles.
Can we talk about your profile picture? Did you bake that?! because that looks like the most delicious dessert i have ever seen !!

 

[supergongjoo]

Even my period is misbehaving!
CD1 ( saturday) i had a full period just this time it had tissue in it and no clots. ( i normally have no tissue and a bunch of clots)
CD2 (sunday )my period just disappeared! poof it was gone. My pad was empty the whole day! Nothing when i wiped either. I usually have to change it at least once mid day but i didnt need to even when i got home. Then at night i had some spotting so i threw on a new pad before bed
CD3 (today) I woke up to a less than normal amount. More than spotting but much less than normal. Replaced and went to work and just spotting the whole day.
I normally have 3 full days with a bunch of clots and very light but more than spotting on the 4th day.
I tried searching it and only found articles/stories on spotting and ib. but its def not ib because it wasnt pink or brown it was bright red and the first day was like my regular period. I plan to ask my doc when i go in but just curious if anyone has had a strange period one cycle ( hoping to calm my panic)

 

[lesondemavie]

Ah super totally thought I responded earlier.

Yes, I did bake the dessert in the photo and thank you! It's a meringue roulade. By far the easiest yet prettiest dessert I make. It's this perfect blend of sweet from the baked meringue, cool/creamy from the hand whipped marscapone cream, tart from the raspberries, and just a hint of salty crunch from the pistachios.

As for the period, so sorry to hear! I know I start panicking with any slight change. My periods have been shorter these past few cycles. 3 days when usually I go 5. I'm counting this past one as 4, but really yesterday was really light and today just spotting. As for starting, stopping, and then starting again - from a quick search looks like plenty of women have experienced it. No easy answer to be found, but seems like stress and/or hormones are the likely culprits. Hope the doctor can give you a better answer. All the best to you!

 

[sophiedaphne]

Hi friends. Another BFN for us this month. It was looking really hopeful. I didn't have any signs of AF and we got super excited, but I can feel it coming on, sadly. Oh well. On to the next month.

 

[supergongjoo]

@leson that looks DELISH!
I'm hoping its just stress and hormones and not cysts. I'm going in tomorrow so hopefully she can tell me something.
@sophie Sorry love.

How is everyone doing in their cycle?

 

[abennion]

@super: I was looking back through my charts and can't find it... but I had a wonky cycle (it might have been before I started seriously temping) I had a medium flow to start and then the next day it just stopped. Like, there was no blood at all. Day 3 it was light and day 4 I had a full on AF again. But this was also the month after I came off of BC and my cycle was 27 days instead of 29-31. Maybe there's a hormone imbalance? I found out that month my thyroid was all over the place.

AFM: 5DPO today. I had mad cramps yesterday, and a huge corpus luteum dip. Today at 5DPO my temps have spiked to their highest they've been. Still feeling twinges of cramps. I had been fairly sure I had released an egg from each ovary this cycle, I had cramps that would change sides right around O. Won't be testing until AF is late this cycle, as we're kind of still expecting a BFN until DH seeing the urologist about his morphology.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see that :BFP: but I just can't bring myself to get my hopes up any more. I had a breakdown over the weekend (again) because all my sister-in-law can talk about is her baby and it just hurts. I know her mother knows it was bugging me, and I feel horribly guilty for being envious, but it still hurt. I just kind of wish she would be a little more aware of other people's feelings - she had been in my position this time last year when she had her MC and all of her friends were pregnant.