Trying to conceive #1 Buddies!

[lesondemavie]

Abe: Totally normal and human to feel jealous. We're complex creatures. We can feel happy for someone and jealous all at once. I'm sure she's just over the moon and focusing on that having been through what she's been through. My brother just messaged asking for a link to the LH strips I use, so now I have two sister-in-laws really ttc too. I feel like I should be excited that we're all trying and there's a chance our kids will be close in age, but instead I'm terrified of us all having different journies. If they conceive first, I'll be ok but it probably won't feel great. If I conceive before them, I'm going to feel like I have to be super careful as to what I say even though I'll be thrilled. I'm hoping for the best, so we can all just go through happy and healthy pregnancies together. Thankfully, we'll be past the holidays before any of that...come what may.

 

[Trr]

I also agree with this. My bestie who got pregnant first when we were trying together said after my mc that she wasn't going to bug me about TTC. I was jealous and crazy happy at the same time for her but she was worried that I would hate her. I'm over the moon for her and sometimes you need to put your feelings aside.

I recently found out that one of my in laws tried for 3 years to get pregnant and the whole time every time I saw her I was asking when she was gonna get knocked up. Looking back I feel like a terrible person.

Sometimes we don't know people's struggles and they don't know ours either.

I think this is really important to realize over Christmas when all our families are going to be asking about kids.

I plan on being very open with my loss and I don't mind to ruffle a few feathers. People need to realize that's it's not my choice that I'm not pregnant.

This kind of turned into a rant lol

 

[psychochick]

leson: that is a beautiful pastry!!! I like to cook but I actually suck at baking because I can't follow directions >< I always want to get creative but don't think I can do that without following understanding the instructions. Also, I do prefer savory over sweet but a little bit of sweet is always needed. hehehe Still really impressed. Also sorry to see AF started for you but still time before the new years for a BFP!!

super: Also sorry about AF and how weird it is. You said the first day wasn't super heavy though right? Sometimes I have a hugely heavy day and then afterwards it's just spotting. I also think something went wrong those cycles because it is abnormal, but then the rest of the cycles resume to previous patterns. I think it's just hormones doing whatever funky stuff they do.

abe: I'm with you, I'm also 7BFNs like you and by this cycle, I'm just assuming I'm out and already planning out the next cycles.

I also agree with the others that it's a difficult situation no matter what side you're on. Personally I am open with the fact that we've been TTC, I was open since the beginning. Most of my friends have been really good about it. They might inquire gently about it but they don't probe and definitely don't give stupid advice.

I do have a particularly tactless friend who kept asking me if I'm pregnant yet. I think it's funny because out of our circle of friends, his wife was the first to get pregnant and I think he felt kind of left out and really wanted other people to talk to about it. And now that the baby is born, I think it might've gotten even worse. I get it though, I think as hard as TTC is, it's probably harder actually being a parent. So I can understand people wanting to talk about their kids.

AFM 10DPO here and I'm definitely feeling out with a slight temp dip this morning blegh. But I have no inclinations to test as I did in the past which is kind of nice.

 

[abennion]

Thanks, ladies. Your temps look like they're on the rise psycho!

6DPO today and my temps are all over the place. I discarded a temp from two days ago because it dropped down to my CL and I had taken it half an hour earlier (DH woke me up at 5:30 am to talk because he was bored) 7 days to testing, AF in 6.

 

[lesondemavie]

leson: that is a beautiful pastry!!! I like to cook but I actually suck at baking because I can't follow directions >< I always want to get creative but don't think I can do that without following understanding the instructions. Also, I do prefer savory over sweet but a little bit of sweet is always needed. hehehe Still really impressed. Also sorry to see AF started for you but still time before the new years for a BFP!!

Haha this my DH to a tee. He loves cooking but he always wants to go off in strange directions and try crazy things. Sometimes it's amazing but sometimes it is just awful and he gets so sad. I don't need recipes as much anymore but that's after 15+ years of following them. I suppose you can learn by trial and error too...just a bumpier ride! He also just throws everything together and skips steps...but proportions and order and timing matter so much with baking. One too many turns of the spatula and you get dry cupcakes or cracked macarons. He does however make amazing fresh bread now every weekend. He even has his own sourdough starter. Guess he found his calling and I fully support it .

AFM: CD 7 and thinking we should kick up the romance in case I O at CD12 again. I actually wish I had a bit more of a break here. I just feel like once I O I'll turn into a crazy person again...and I so don't want the anxiety from the dips in estrogen again. That was tough last round! Hopefully symptoms are more mild again this time...or if they're bad that it's from hcg rising! Ah here we go again...fingers crossed!

 

[mommy_atHEART]

Hi everyone!
I'm on my 2nd cycle ttc #1 and I'm in my 2ww. I have a 26 day cycle (for the last 3 months) I'm on cd20 - LMP 11/28/15 - Next AF should be 12/23/15

 

[psychochick]

welcome @heart! :wave:

leson: I know what you mean it feels like the time between the end of a TWW and the beginning of the next is not very long at all!! But I do prefer the BDing over TWW. Also you and your DH sound really cute, he makes the breads and you make the sweets, awww.

beemeck: haven't heard from you in a while girl! Any updates from the doc on the acne?

Also remember how I mentioned a woman from another thread who had been trying for almost a year now and then went to the doc with pain from sex and discovered she had cervicitis? First cycle after that got treated, she got her BFP. :O Wonder how often that sort of thing happens to the rest of us too. Maybe it's just a small change we need to make to up our chances.

how's everyone else doing? I am supposedly 12DPO and my temps are pretty good for 12DPO compared to all previous cycles but got BFN this morning. AF is supposed to get here this saturday so will know soon enough but not super hopeful. But I think I haven't mentioned on this thread yet, but DH's hepatitis panel came back all clear! He's going in for an xray of his liver just to check but the doc said it's probably just a fluke and to just monitor it. That's a breath of relief for me.

 

[supergongjoo]

ahhhh i wrote a whole long thing that go deleted grrrr

@abe i do feel like it could be a hormonal or cyst problem. my new gyno was no help so i plan to go to my sisters in jan.
i was the same when i heard my sister conceived first try. i feel like it a normal human reaction! its harder and harder to stay a positive source of support.
If you ovulate from both ovaries does that change anything?
@ trr i agree. i have stopped asking ppl about baby plans. you just never know what someone is going thru
@psycho i applaud your bravery! i just dont have the guts to tell people. i guess i feel a bit ashamed we have yet to conceive. plus i have already had a few stupid comments. that i just cant bring myself to do it .
@les my dh can only make breakfast foods lol

 

[abennion]

@super: It sucks when gynos are't willing to help. I had a nice chat with my mother in law about it. She went through the same thing when she was TTC. My father in law had no sperm count due to radiology treatments and she was told she would never have kids. She has 4! She said she would talk to my sister in law about maybe not including me in as much as she is right now. I don't want a pity party from the family, but hearing about it every time you see them does sting.

I think when you ovulate from both ovaries it just gives you more of a chance (1 sperm needs to find 1 of 2 eggs instead of only one) DH is going to start acupuncture next week, our acupuncturist says she can help with his morphology. It will also help being on clomid next cycle with the hopes of releasing two-three eggs to give his swimmers a bit of a better chance at fertilizing.

AFM: Charts are still out of whack, which is odd because they're usually fairly steady instead of all over the place. I'm hoping this is due to something good. A nice little christmas eve BFP would be nice. Felt a twinge on my left side today, so hopefully its good news!

 

[lesondemavie]

Welcome @heart!

Psych: Haha thanks! Cooking together had been one of our fav things to do since we started dating. He is also an excellent sous chef, and a scurrier/scrubber of the hurricane that is me. You know how they always say to cook clean on those shows like masterchef, well I still need to learn that one :/...I'd have to bring him on with me if I ever tried out! Your temps are looking great so far. Here's hoping!!!

Super: I know I lucked out, right? Thank goodness...I needed someone to balance me out . We'd love to move up to the mountains and open our own B&B one day. It would be hard for me to give up my career though. It fulfills me and makes me a better person in so many ways. I will say that I feel like a fish out of water when I'm with the other wives. They go on about how messy their hubbies are, and then when they look at me I have to admit that DH cleans up after me more often than not. Ah well, each couple needs to find what balance works for them, right? How are you and DH doing? Any more romantic dates planned?

 

[abennion]

@les: Les, I'm not sure if I've asked you before, but have you talked to a doctor about your temps? They're looking very flat this month - this usually indicates a hormone problem.

@psycho: Did you test again this morning?? Your temps look phenomenal! Hopefully this is it for you!

 

[beemeck]

girls!!!

eeek I've been away far too long. way too much to catch up on I haven't been home all week - so, so busy. I hate when life gets this hectic, but what can you do? I was looking forward to a weekend with nothing planned at home getting ready for our holiday party and then my best friends' dad passed away yesterday and now I'm heading up the 5 hours to Rochester tomorrow. what a month.

well ladies, I must say before anything else that my DH hardly knows where the kitchen is located... his one major fault. He reverts back to a child when it comes to preparing food. It drives me NUTS. so I am def jealous! luckily I am quite the chef myself - both cooking and baking - but I can't say I enjoy it. I just do it because I like good food.

anywayyy -

abe - I wonder if wonky post O temps could mean something for you? are you still doing acupuncture? I went and I really, really liked it! hope it does some good things for us.

PC - this has to be it for you, right? I'm always nervous to say that cause I never wanna get hopes up, but things are looking good.... Thanks for asking about me. appts went well. Derm said it was def hormonal, which I knew. the hormone panel my obgyn drew consisted of DHEA, LH, prolactin and FSH. I guess I thought it would be for the main hitters - estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. So she said those ones are out of whack and encouraged me to see my obgyn again. I didn't mention they wouldn't see me. I keep leaving messages for the fertility clinic but no calls back so maybe I'll schedule in with a new obgyn. I can't keep sitting around and waiting. but I did do the acupuncture so I'm glad about that. I have my yearly physical Jan 12 and my yearly pap Feb 4 so at least I have some scheduled appts coming up...

3DPO today and not really obsessing. it's taking it's toll on me. We BDed every day again, but I couldn't muster it for the last day. My EDD from the baby I lost is in 10 days so I've just been dreading that. AF is due 2 days later. Hoping I don't get hit doubly hard this holiday season

 

[abennion]

@bee: I'm hoping, but at the same time I'm scared to hope. I'm loving acupuncture! DH will be starting next week to hopefully correct his morphology. And don't worry, you're not alone - DH can only cook things that have directions on the box and even then he gets scared that he's going to mess dinner up! That really sucks that the fertility clinic won't give you a call back. When is your test date this month? We're all here for you, no matter how hard this month will be

AFM: 8DPO and still wonky, but it does look like there's a general upward trend happening. Trying hard not to look into it. The ICs I ordered will be here on Tuesday, so that will keep me from POASing all weekend.

 

[psychochick]

beemeck: Oh LH and FSH are definitely super important for egg production (according to what I've read) I think if those are out of wack it should be addressed. Did your derm recommend anything for that naturally in the mean time? Yeah just keep shopping at different gyno if yours won't listen.

abe and beemeck: hehe yeah the temps are looking good. Usually 12-13DPO temps drop and AF is due tomorrow and I thought for certain at least given the temps, AF isn't starting yet. But I tested this morning with SMU and BFN. AND got some pink spotting on TP just now. Then I checked cervix and it was like medium, soft and closed. This is confusing to me too because if anything, AF symptoms were always completely inline for me: lower temps, spotting, cervix low and open. Sooo time to wait it out and see. I really don't like uncertainty but my body seems to love it

 

[beemeck]

@bee: I'm hoping, but at the same time I'm scared to hope. I'm loving acupuncture! DH will be starting next week to hopefully correct his morphology. And don't worry, you're not alone - DH can only cook things that have directions on the box and even then he gets scared that he's going to mess dinner up! That really sucks that the fertility clinic won't give you a call back. When is your test date this month? We're all here for you, no matter how hard this month will be

AFM: 8DPO and still wonky, but it does look like there's a general upward trend happening. Trying hard not to look into it. The ICs I ordered will be here on Tuesday, so that will keep me from POASing all weekend.

aw you're so sweet. I love all of the support. I always feel extra comfortable with the other gals trying for their first too. I just feel like the fear that I will never have children gets so overwhelming sometimes. Even though it's far-fetched, I can't shake it. '

My acupuncturist also recommended my husband going in too - just since there's nothing to lose. He's never had an SA, but considering I fell pregnant our first try, I'm doubting he needs one. So he might try it next month because I was telling him how cool it was. But he's a big baby and wants nothing to do with needles even though I told him I couldn't feel a thing How funny your DH is clueless in the kitchen too - I don't know how mine survived before me?!

I won't test until I have a reason too. I will be able to tell from my temps, or spotting (last month it was the 4 days leading up to AF) so I haven't even been testing at all cause I know I'm out in enough time. And the month I got my BFP i felt super nauseous on 13 DPO and tested then. So I just play it by ear.

Glad you have ICs coming in! I love those cause I never feel guilty for using them with countless BFNs.

good luck to you!

 

[beemeck]

beemeck: Oh LH and FSH are definitely super important for egg production (according to what I've read) I think if those are out of wack it should be addressed. Did your derm recommend anything for that naturally in the mean time? Yeah just keep shopping at different gyno if yours won't listen.

abe and beemeck: hehe yeah the temps are looking good. Usually 12-13DPO temps drop and AF is due tomorrow and I thought for certain at least given the temps, AF isn't starting yet. But I tested this morning with SMU and BFN. AND got some pink spotting on TP just now. Then I checked cervix and it was like medium, soft and closed. This is confusing to me too because if anything, AF symptoms were always completely inline for me: lower temps, spotting, cervix low and open. Sooo time to wait it out and see. I really don't like uncertainty but my body seems to love it

ughhh I hate when my body drives me nuts! which is on the regular these days I'm sorry your temps are looking so promising - unless it still turns out to be a good sign. I never give up til it's over - and even then sometimes I don't

yeah I knew LH and FSH are the big hitters for O'ing, but my symptoms were more indicative of the other ones acting up. I've known I'm O'ing every month - in fact it's been day 15 to a tee except one month. The nurse said everything was normal but since I've been reading the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book I've noticed that one is supposed to be higher than the other (I forget which) and mine is opposite. I would think the docs would easily catch that so not sure if I should let that go or press further? Ugh, the adventure of TTC.....

 

[lesondemavie]

@les: Les, I'm not sure if I've asked you before, but have you talked to a doctor about your temps? They're looking very flat this month - this usually indicates a hormone problem.

@psycho: Did you test again this morning?? Your temps look phenomenal! Hopefully this is it for you!

Abe, thanks for checking in and letting me know. I really appreciate the support and concern. My understanding though is the opposite. From what I've read, fluctuations more than .3 in FP indicate an imbalance, and that stable temps between 97.2 and 97.8 are good. I'm only cd9 here, so def still in FP. Last month I was a bit more up and down, but I was getting the hang of temping and I travelled. Bit of a dip today but I definitely woke up with my mouth open. Do you have a link that I can check out for more info?

 

[abennion]

@les: Les, I'm not sure if I've asked you before, but have you talked to a doctor about your temps? They're looking very flat this month - this usually indicates a hormone problem.

@psycho: Did you test again this morning?? Your temps look phenomenal! Hopefully this is it for you!

Abe, thanks for checking in and letting me know. I really appreciate the support and concern. My understanding though is the opposite. From what I've read, fluctuations more than .3 in FP indicate an imbalance, and that stable temps between 97.2 and 97.8 are good. I'm only cd8 here, so def still in FP. Last month I was a bit more up and down, but I was getting the hang of temping and I travelled. But of a dip today but I definitely woke up with my mouth open. Do you have a link that I can check out for more info?

I can't find the link at the moment, but I'll have a better look once I get home. I remember reading about it after I had been diagnosed with hypothyroidism.

 

[psychochick]

Girls, I need your eyes for a moment!! Remember how I said earlier that I took a test and it was BFN? I looked at it again after getting home today and there is a line! It was definitely no line this morning within the time frame (10 min) but I had to leave for work so didn't see it until hours later so I'm not sure how reliable it is but DH can see a line easily and it has color and is thick. Is this trustworthy?


(top line is from day before in which there's probably nothing but maybe an evap line, and bottom is from today)

I'm seriously still really doubting it but I've never seen anything on a test even after hours so somehow this still feels like progress even if it's not for real

 

[lesondemavie]

Ah psycho! I see a very light thick line in the photo but the color isn't coming through on my end. That being said, I so love your chart and totally think this is your month!! Please, please test again!