Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Twag]

ladies we will all get our BFP's and that will be the most special time for us all

So I keep being told all good things come to those who wait! but

 

[tannielicious]

Another Christmas ... another round of dealing with "when are you going to have children ?"
questions.

I am also so annoyed that all people can say is - Why not adopt? There are so many unwanted children out there who need a home.

Firstly, I do not think I am selfish wanting to have my own child. If I am not at peace with myself as I cannot conceive, would i be able to give an adopted child a happy home? I think not.

Secondly, adoption is not as easy as everyone thinks it is. It's not like a pet store ( apologies for the grim and rude comparison) where you choose something and take it home. I have had friends who tried to adopt in England but have been told things like "One of you is working... how do you expect to be a good dad when you cannot be around that much?"

Now in where I live, you can't adopt a child unless it is from a particular country and you must be able to speak German.

While I applaud people who do adopt, it is not for everyone and I shouldn't be deemed as selfish because I don't want to adopt.

 

[ProfWife]

tennielicious - You're right, it's not for everyone. It takes certain types of people to be open to adoption. I don't think you're wrong at all for knowing yourself.

It's an option for us, but we'd also like to have at least one of our own. I have a slight pull towards adoption, but I think that comes from what I'm hotwired for as a profession (teacher). I'm used to caring for others' children, so it wouldn't be too far of a cry for us.

It certainly is not the call or right thing to do for many people. It's good that you both know that about yourselves.

Hang in there. We leave Sunday for his family's Christmas...over 40 people and 3 new babies to stare us down and ask why we haven't popped any out in 5 years.

 

[tamithomas]

Another Christmas ... another round of dealing with "when are you going to have children ?"
questions.

I am also so annoyed that all people can say is - Why not adopt? There are so many unwanted children out there who need a home.

Firstly, I do not think I am selfish wanting to have my own child. If I am not at peace with myself as I cannot conceive, would i be able to give an adopted child a happy home? I think not.

Secondly, adoption is not as easy as everyone thinks it is. It's not like a pet store ( apologies for the grim and rude comparison) where you choose something and take it home. I have had friends who tried to adopt in England but have been told things like "One of you is working... how do you expect to be a good dad when you cannot be around that much?"

Now in where I live, you can't adopt a child unless it is from a particular country and you must be able to speak German.

While I applaud people who do adopt, it is not for everyone and I shouldn't be deemed as selfish because I don't want to adopt.

I hate how people tihnk just because you can't conceive you're perfect candidate for adoption. Those who usually throw that around are usually the ones who have never spent a single day looking into the process and cost for it. The way I always get them to shut up, I have no shame anymore because I'm so fed up with it is "how about practicing what you preach? Why don't YOU adopt? You're perfectly healthy and able to do such" always shuts them up. They'll look at you like as if you're a snob but i'm passed people judging, i don't care anymore.

 

[wellsk]

That's a very good point tami!
I'm very much looking into the idea of adoption (luckily in the UK, as long as you get through the process it doesn't really cost anything). But it's very difficult to become adoptive parents and there are a lot of restrictions.
People seem to think that you go to the adoption centre and collect a newborn just like 'that', it simply doesn't happen that way! It's a long, emotional and intrusive process. Very rarely babies will come up for adoption and most of the children are older. I wouldn't mind adopting an older child, but I desperately want to experience mothering a baby. I also want to know what it's like to be pregnant!

I am hoping to adopt in the future, regardless of whether we have our own children or not. But it is a substitute, and nothing will ever compare to the real thing.

 

[tamithomas]

The world may not have ended today, but my patience are.. due to last second finances, I can not afford a test until Thursday unless AF shows up. Due today or tomorrow and not here thankfully yet but not holding my breath.

 

[horseypants]

WHY IS THIS SOOOO EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!! arghghghhghghhH!HHHH!

 

[tamithomas]

Sorry for a the 2 for 1 rants today just.. this really is getting on my nerves. BFP sticks on Facebook are not gross! You're not gonna get pee all over you by looking at the picture. Get over yourself! Usually comes from those who never had to ttc before.

 

[AlyCon]

sooo pissed me doc did nothing for me today. made apt to ask bout my period being so irregular and long and very short and brown spotting not a real period. She did zero tests and just told me to eat a cookie and relax. Are you kidding me!! What kind of advice is that! She says its because my estrogen is low. But yet she didn't even do any tests to confirm that!!!

I hate when doctors do that! I dont think they realize how rude and smug they come off when they pretty much laugh in our face and send us home! eat a cookie?? what kind of mess is that?? Dont be scared to stand up to your doctor! If you want tests done tell her "I want to be tested thats what im here for today. please and thank you." thats her job to listen to you and do what you need her to do! My last doctor tried to tell me that i didnt have PCOS (i was diagnosed by another doctor, and its in my medical record) because apparently im too young to have it! i swear.. i could slap these Docs sometimes

Get this!!! I asked her 'so you don't think I have PCOS or anything right' and she said "I don't even know what you mean by that" What kind of GYNO doc does not know what PCOS is!!!????? I'm switching docs that is for sure. Her bedside mannor is terrible!

DEFINITELY CHANGE DOCTORS!! and get blood work/ ultrasound done to check for PCOS. If you ask for it, they have to do it! Dont take no for an answer!

 

[tamithomas]

Why oh why does it seem like everyone knows AF showed up? It seems like every time AF shows up, people on Facebook go through a major "let's post pictures of our kids/say how greatful we are for them" yet it's calm the rest of the month. Ugh.

 

[cntrygrl]

I HATE YOU BODY!!!!!!!!! *scream, cry, throw fit*

 

[tamithomas]

Christmas day in less than 2 hours and it feels like any old given day. Good thing weather is not permitting to travel to see the folks, my mood just ain't in it this year especially with my mom showing off her step sons son around like as if it's her own grand child.

Dear mom: I'm an only child, to hear you call someone else's baby your grand child especially after losing your actual one really bleeping hurts! I know you want to be a grand mother but have some damn respect!!!!!!! Why like something on facebook saying "Grand children are the best thing in the world" when you're not actually a grand mother?! It makes me feel like such a failure.

 

[boots22]

Depo Provera Vent: I feel like you ruined any chance of me conceiving some days! Just like everyone one else here I want a healthy baby boy or girl. I have all the support in the world from friends and family. I just need my fertility back. Trying Fertility Blend. What else can I do!?!!

 

[tamithomas]

just saw this on my news feed:

I hope you enjoyed your holiday as much as I did with my family. It might not be perfectly executed, but watching all 4 kids open their gifts, and being grateful, means more than anything to us. I love looking at everyone's photos and seeing how much fun your children had this morning.

I can't... I just can't. I spent Christmas day with AF CD3, cramps, bloated and supposed to be 4 months babybump after 3 years of trying. Screw everyone and their happy Christmas mornings with their precious LO. Bahumbug! Glad the holidays are over so we can move on from this crap.

 

[Heather.1987]

.

 

[AussieBub]

I think that TTC#1 is the worst out of all the TTC numbers. I mean, we all want to become mothers and having your first baby is the biggest part of your life. I know I'm not making any sense but the way I see it is, if I already had a child, I wouldn't be as broody and baby crazy when trying to conceive again. If I found out I was unable to have any more children I'd still be content in having my one little miracle. But until you have that little miracle, you always have that fear of being told you can't have any babies and I feel that's what drives me crazy. I'm always afraid I'll be told I can't have any kids and I just pray 'let me at least have one'. One baby would be a miracle and each baby after would be blessings. I know i'd be more relaxed when TTC is I already had one beautiful child in my life. So please world, let me at least have one! Please!

-AussieBub

 

[ItsMyTyme]

Hey ladies, Needing to vent here! Today is the day im suppose to start (The ticker at the bottom is off a bit) and after this christmas i just want to curl in a ball and cry.

My hubby and I have been TTC for 6 years and things are so crazy when it comes to our TTC journey... including me hitting the hubby with the car while taking clomid...but this christmas was esp hard because my sister who is now 6 mo pregnant with number 4 and my cousin who is pregnant with num 1 by accident (she said they were just practicing not actually trying which upsets me so much more) and also count my brother who had his little girl last dec 28th so this was her first christmas. All day long i heard about their pregnancies and how much my niece has grown over the year...blah blah blah.... it took every ounce of my being to hold it together. I cried the whole way there and home. Well christmas eve I started getting these sharp pains around my pelvic bone that has stopped me in my tracks every time. not thinking much of them i ignored it and went to bed. Christmas morning it got so much worse and eventually faded late christmas night leaving me in pain both mentally and physically all christmas. On top of that my husbands cousins just had their second baby. This is the same woman that told me that (after 10 yrs of unprotected sex with my husband) and me going to the drs that she got her iud out at the same time because she just knew that we would be pregnant together. Mind you it has been TEN YEARS with no protection without me being late once or getting a positive test. No signs or symptoms and completely regular to the day almost. So why on earth would she think that. Come to find out she had been trying to one up me which she admitted later that month. Well she just had her baby last night and i was ok with it (we are friends but it is still hard for me to be happy). This morning I looked at FB (which is the devil) and there are like 10 pics of the baby and i scroll across one of her husband holding her baby girl and smiling the biggest smile and it broke my heart. Ive been crying since 6 am and all i want is for that to be me and my husband. Just once.

My family is no where near supportive honestly they dont care about anyone but themselves. I feel as if i failed my husband and he thinks hes failed me. no one knows why it hasnt happened. I just want my heart to stop breaking right now. for just one day to go by where i dont cry and feel my heart shattering piece by piece!

 

[cntrygrl]

Hey ladies, Needing to vent here! Today is the day im suppose to start (The ticker at the bottom is off a bit) and after this christmas i just want to curl in a ball and cry.

My hubby and I have been TTC for 6 years and things are so crazy when it comes to our TTC journey... including me hitting the hubby with the car while taking clomid...but this christmas was esp hard because my sister who is now 6 mo pregnant with number 4 and my cousin who is pregnant with num 1 by accident (she said they were just practicing not actually trying which upsets me so much more) and also count my brother who had his little girl last dec 28th so this was her first christmas. All day long i heard about their pregnancies and how much my niece has grown over the year...blah blah blah.... it took every ounce of my being to hold it together. I cried the whole way there and home. Well christmas eve I started getting these sharp pains around my pelvic bone that has stopped me in my tracks every time. not thinking much of them i ignored it and went to bed. Christmas morning it got so much worse and eventually faded late christmas night leaving me in pain both mentally and physically all christmas. On top of that my husbands cousins just had their second baby. This is the same woman that told me that (after 10 yrs of unprotected sex with my husband) and me going to the drs that she got her iud out at the same time because she just knew that we would be pregnant together. Mind you it has been TEN YEARS with no protection without me being late once or getting a positive test. No signs or symptoms and completely regular to the day almost. So why on earth would she think that. Come to find out she had been trying to one up me which she admitted later that month. Well she just had her baby last night and i was ok with it (we are friends but it is still hard for me to be happy). This morning I looked at FB (which is the devil) and there are like 10 pics of the baby and i scroll across one of her husband holding her baby girl and smiling the biggest smile and it broke my heart. Ive been crying since 6 am and all i want is for that to be me and my husband. Just once.

My family is no where near supportive honestly they dont care about anyone but themselves. I feel as if i failed my husband and he thinks hes failed me. no one knows why it hasnt happened. I just want my heart to stop breaking right now. for just one day to go by where i dont cry and feel my heart shattering piece by piece!

Have you guys had testing done?

 

[ItsMyTyme]

A little bit. He said everything is normal aside from hubbys morphology which they said is abnormal but other than that they said we should be able to conceive. They said the morphology wont hurt it too much but having healthy morph is good. My dr is crap and since we are self pay its hard to put forth a bunch of money.

 

[cntrygrl]

Yeah being self pay is definitely hard. I'd research how to get a better morphology rate.