Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[lamago]

I just got my period in my second month of trying and I feel so frustrated. I hate having my period and each time I go to the restrooom I get angry. How do I deal with this? It's so soon to be feeling like this!

 

[Mimzy3]

m4e

Maybe couple's therapy? Does he express to you how this makes him feel at all? I can't imagine it feels good knowing he can't give you the one thing you want so bad. Sometimes guy's are better at masking their feelings than we are. Hope this doesn't upset you I am only suggesting.

He constantly insists that he "knows" we'll have kids and I'm sick of it! He has no reason to believe that and we've been told we won't. Sometimes optimism is good, but its actually making it harder that he won't just admit we're screwed and let me move on.

oh i understand sounds like he is in denial

 

[m4e]

Realistically if we could get his testosterone up everything would be fine, but I just don't know what else to try...

 

[tamithomas]

My vent of the day is I'm tired of seeing women who already have children on TTC#1 threads!

YES!!! Also I think they need to have a TTC#1 thread ONLY for women who have been TTC for at least a year and/or have been diagnosed with a kind of infertility.

That's usually the LTTC section.

 

[tamithomas]

I just got my period in my second month of trying and I feel so frustrated. I hate having my period and each time I go to the restrooom I get angry. How do I deal with this? It's so soon to be feeling like this!

Yea it does sound a little soon but once the mind has made up that it wants a baby, 2 months can feel like 2 years...but don't get discouraged, it's proven even perfectly healthy couples can take up to a year to conceive. First time BFP's are more of a fluke then people think.

 

[lamago]

Thanks, I'm glad I found this forum tough. I feel like I can't really talk to people I know about it.

 

[MamaTex]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

People really can be insensitive. Your mother in law doesn't need anything. All she needs is to mind her own life!! You mentioned that you guys tried Clomid but it stopped working. Has a specialist advised that another round would likely not result in success? I do not know much about the subject of increasing testosterone so forgive me if I ask stupid questions. Have you guys looked into alternative/herbal remedies for this issue? Even if there is not a definite solution now, there may be down the road. Science and reproductive technology have come a long way. What was once impossible just a decade ago is possible now...

Lamago: Any length of time feels like an eternity. Please don't get discouraged. Once you TTC, going to the bathroom becomes an entirely different experience. I know the frustration all too well. I coped (not always successfully, mind you, but I tried) by focusing on what I could do the next month to make my body even more baby friendly!! Sadly, I have learned more about the human body in my TTC journey than I did over all the years sitting in biology classes. If I had to pick a theme song for me when TTC it would have been the song Veruca Salt sang in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. "Don't care how, I want it now!" should have been/should be my catch phrase!! I hope my attempt at humor doesn't offend you. Just letting you know that you are not alone in your feelings. I am the poster girl for TTC impatience.

I no longer take anything for granted and I subscribe to a no lady left behind mentality, so m4e, you will not be left alone. Not by people who care anyway...

 

[cntrygrl]

This is more of a happy rant. Dear DH, yes I've been having hot flashes major for the passed 3 days. What's the first thing you ask me? When my AF is due. Your first thoughts are "maybe just maybe!" Don't set yourself up for disapointment. Cute though to see a man just as eager and interested in a BFP as me!

It's amazing how sweet they can be sometimes.

 

[Sammie100]

I work in health care. I see several women a day who don't want children, get them aborted whenever they get pregnant, who are back again because they are pregnant. I see several women a day who are pregnant and don't even care. They're still smoking or doing drugs. They haven't gotten an OB. They just don't care.
But me and a lot of people on the board here WANT children and are having difficulty getting pregnant. The babies would be cared for and loved so much. Why is it so difficult for people here?
Things are just so cruel sometimes!!!

 

[Mimzy3]

A friend just announced via facebook she is having identical twins she is 12.5 weeks along.... I'm so jealous

 

[tamithomas]

My body did the weirdest thing this morning.. warning tmi: I had some serious AF cramps and suddenly a huge gush of liquid came out enough to soak through to the pants.. I was convinced that AF showed up early since so I had tampon ready in hand, I'm due on Friday. Nope, it was completely clear. Had to change undies and pants. Good thing I'm a stay at home wife, that would've been so embarassing at work.

C'mon body, it's one or the other. Stop giving me AF cramps with clear CM and day 4 hot flashes (I never get hot flashes before AF).

 

[cntrygrl]

FX'ed for you Tami

 

[babymabey]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

People can be so insensitive!

Have you and DH pursued any fertility treatment options yet?

My husband has no sperm, so there aren't really any treatment options for us. The only way to get his Testosterone up so he could produce sperm is clomid and they tried that and it worked for three weeks then completely stopped, so we are really at the end of the road, with very few if any options.

I'm sorry, this is going to be a little personal but have you thought of sperm donation?

 

[m4e]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

People can be so insensitive!

Have you and DH pursued any fertility treatment options yet?

My husband has no sperm, so there aren't really any treatment options for us. The only way to get his Testosterone up so he could produce sperm is clomid and they tried that and it worked for three weeks then completely stopped, so we are really at the end of the road, with very few if any options.

I'm sorry, this is going to be a little personal but have you thought of sperm donation?

I don't mind you asking, but absolutely not. Not even considered as an option.

 

[KLA85]

I hope this doesn't offend anyone but it bums me out when someone says they conceived on their first try. Why do I have to wait and they don't?

Not so much that, but I hate when you say something about waiting and someone says something like "oh we caught on our first try. Best of luck" no sympathy... Nothing

I get this all the time at work... surrounded with women who conceived their first try for every child!! That's why this thread is so great

 

[Sammie100]

I don't mind you asking, but absolutely not. Not even considered as an option.

Has he seen a urologist? If he has, has he gotten a second opinion?

I know it's not the same, but you could adopt.

I hope you feel better soon, sweetie.

 

[Mimzy3]

sooo pissed me doc did nothing for me today. made apt to ask bout my period being so irregular and long and very short and brown spotting not a real period. She did zero tests and just told me to eat a cookie and relax. Are you kidding me!! What kind of advice is that! She says its because my estrogen is low. But yet she didn't even do any tests to confirm that!!!

 

[AlyCon]

sooo pissed me doc did nothing for me today. made apt to ask bout my period being so irregular and long and very short and brown spotting not a real period. She did zero tests and just told me to eat a cookie and relax. Are you kidding me!! What kind of advice is that! She says its because my estrogen is low. But yet she didn't even do any tests to confirm that!!!

I hate when doctors do that! I dont think they realize how rude and smug they come off when they pretty much laugh in our face and send us home! eat a cookie?? what kind of mess is that?? Dont be scared to stand up to your doctor! If you want tests done tell her "I want to be tested thats what im here for today. please and thank you." thats her job to listen to you and do what you need her to do! My last doctor tried to tell me that i didnt have PCOS (i was diagnosed by another doctor, and its in my medical record) because apparently im too young to have it! i swear.. i could slap these Docs sometimes

 

[Mimzy3]

sooo pissed me doc did nothing for me today. made apt to ask bout my period being so irregular and long and very short and brown spotting not a real period. She did zero tests and just told me to eat a cookie and relax. Are you kidding me!! What kind of advice is that! She says its because my estrogen is low. But yet she didn't even do any tests to confirm that!!!

I hate when doctors do that! I dont think they realize how rude and smug they come off when they pretty much laugh in our face and send us home! eat a cookie?? what kind of mess is that?? Dont be scared to stand up to your doctor! If you want tests done tell her "I want to be tested thats what im here for today. please and thank you." thats her job to listen to you and do what you need her to do! My last doctor tried to tell me that i didnt have PCOS (i was diagnosed by another doctor, and its in my medical record) because apparently im too young to have it! i swear.. i could slap these Docs sometimes

Get this!!! I asked her 'so you don't think I have PCOS or anything right' and she said "I don't even know what you mean by that" What kind of GYNO doc does not know what PCOS is!!!????? I'm switching docs that is for sure. Her bedside mannor is terrible!

 

[tamithomas]

sooo pissed me doc did nothing for me today. made apt to ask bout my period being so irregular and long and very short and brown spotting not a real period. She did zero tests and just told me to eat a cookie and relax. Are you kidding me!! What kind of advice is that! She says its because my estrogen is low. But yet she didn't even do any tests to confirm that!!!

mine when i went to see her since she's our family doctor i went for issues of the M/C, sent me for a blood test..told her we had been trying for 3 years, instead of helping me to find a specialist or give any advice the first thing she pulls out is a prescription for an anti depressant to calm down about ttc because i was apparently over reacting. Needless to say I closed my dossier that day.