Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[lamago]

It's ok alycon. We are next

 

[tamithomas]

So yesterday was my lucky day (NOT!) I got to spend the entire day with a friend who has a 2 yr old and is in her first trimester carrying her second. Another girl who is in her second trimester with TWINS. And a girl who has a week old newborn.

And then there's me

This is why we declined the invite to our friends baby's baptisism. We would batty with all of the kids around. Major hugs

 

[Lensbb]

Agreed!

 

[DiscoRia]

So I am going to sound like the biggest bitch ever, but it's been bugging my for a while now and I feel like I just need to get it out... to someone, somewhere so that I can just let it go and get over myself.

Here goes...

Out of my two best friends in the world (I don't have a huge amount of real life friends) one got pregnant without trying, moved back home to the UK from Italy and now has a beautiful 7 month old little girl. My other best friend, currently still residing here in Italy, was planning on ttc back in September but is going through some marital difficulties, so that has been put on hold.

Now that she and her husband are working through things and are coming out into the positive again, I am scared shitless that they are going to ttc and get pregnant straight away. Even if it takes them a few months, if they get pregnant before us I am going to be devastated and I just don't know how happy for her I am going to be able to be.

At some of my lowest points I have even hoped that it would take them longer to work their problems out, just to give us a little extra time to get our bfp... what a fantastic friend I am!

I have spoken to her about it and she has also voiced similar concerns, but I even found myself putting on a brave face while even talking about it. Ugh. I wish I could just distance myself from it all and not be so obssessive... that or I wish I could have my baby/bfp already!

 

[Bex434]

ok...so i am just about ready to scream/cry/lose my mind (or all 3!)
the witch arrived today after a year of trying and no BFP on top of that I have to deal with my boss (who has a 7 month old) and others at work constantly talking about babies babies babies... don't mean to sound harsh but...FUCK OFF!
anyone else just had the witch visit? i am so fed up today

 

[turtlettc]

You asked Santa for a doll every Christmas. You cherished each one, named them, nursed them, clothed them, bathed them. You made lists of baby names in your head, on paper for as long as you can remember. You counted the number of years left until you were 25 - the magical year when you were old enough, well-rounded enough, stable enough to be someone's mom.

And you cried on your 25th birthday because you were still in school- no money, no job, no long-term partner. And as each subsequent year passed your lamentations and fear about getting older grew louder and more desperate. You put those hormones in your mouth every day for years and years against your better judgement, against your life's wishes.

And then you got married and threw those pills away. And that was when your nightmares came true as month after month your body flushed away the possibility of life. And more and more babies were born to other mothers. Pushed their tiny feet against another woman's ribs, cried their first cries in another woman's arms, cooed and smiled and giggled for everyone but you.

And that was when the clarity came to you: That dream you had? Your whole life. The one you thought about everyday? That only happens to other people. Like winning the lottery or perishing in a car wreck - it only happens to other people.

 

[The.Nelsons]

I have been here for sure, my best friend and I were going to try at the same time (I'm pretty sure most women do this at some point). Well about a month after that I got a text telling me that she needed to talk to me, as soon as I read it I burst into tears because I knew she was pregnant. I told her I knew she was and she didn't speak to me for about 2-3 months. I felt like I hated her, she already had one, that baby should have been growing in my belly... I came to realize later that I was only jealous... The baby is now 7 months old... I feel like I'm failing my husband.

offically been ttc#1 for a year!!!!!!!!!! is this ever going to happen?

& to all the people i keep hearing say 'i conceived in the first month, go die. i'm sick of hearing it!

 

[DiscoRia]

Also, I can't help but feel angry when people complain about struggling to get pregnant when they already have children, I'd be happy if I even had one

THAT!!! It's NOT THE SAME!

Yup. Not the F*$#ing same at all.

 

[ProfWife]

Does it ever stop stinging when someone else announces their pregnancies? I mean...I know that eventually I'll be the one announcing and others will be pining away for little ones. One day I'll be the one who makes others want to scream.

I want to be happy for every single person who posts. Yet, my first impulse is to want to cry rather than congratulate.

 

[wellsk]

Does it ever stop stinging when someone else announces their pregnancies? I mean...I know that eventually I'll be the one announcing and others will be pining away for little ones. One day I'll be the one who makes others want to scream.

I want to be happy for every single person who posts. Yet, my first impulse is to want to cry rather than congratulate.

No, 13 months and counting, it only gets worse. Yesterday I had two in one day... you learn to kinda predict what will happen, who will announce their pregnancies next. But unfortunately I wasn't expecting either of them. I have given up being happy for other people, my first thought is usually 'you've already got one', 'you can't afford one', 'you won't be a good enough mother anyway'. That's really cruel I know, but it hurts so much!

I wish I could write to everyone and tell them if they're intending on getting pregnant or do get pregnant, they must tell me immediately. I'm torn that if I ever get my BFP over how I'll announce it. I feel like it's my right to 'bask in the glory' that everyone else has been lucky enough to have... but I wouldn't want to think that someone was really hurt thinking what I think right now.

You asked Santa for a doll every Christmas. You cherished each one, named them, nursed them, clothed them, bathed them. You made lists of baby names in your head, on paper for as long as you can remember. You counted the number of years left until you were 25 - the magical year when you were old enough, well-rounded enough, stable enough to be someone's mom.

And you cried on your 25th birthday because you were still in school- no money, no job, no long-term partner. And as each subsequent year passed your lamentations and fear about getting older grew louder and more desperate. You put those hormones in your mouth every day for years and years against your better judgement, against your life's wishes.

And then you got married and threw those pills away. And that was when your nightmares came true as month after month your body flushed away the possibility of life. And more and more babies were born to other mothers. Pushed their tiny feet against another woman's ribs, cried their first cries in another woman's arms, cooed and smiled and giggled for everyone but you.

And that was when the clarity came to you: That dream you had? Your whole life. The one you thought about everyday? That only happens to other people. Like winning the lottery or perishing in a car wreck - it only happens to other people.

I'm so sorry turtlettc, what you've written is so true and very beautifully put.

 

[FireLyte]

I hate myself today for being excited that I am probably ovulating right now, as it is probably the first time since March '12 that I've ovulated. I never once thought I'd be one of the unlucky that have fertility issues. I never once thought I wouldn't get my bfp because I don't ovulate most months. I have been waiting MONTHS to actually ovulate, and I already know that DH and I will probably miss the window, but I'll still be going into the TWW hoping and waiting, and it's going to be absolutely crushing to not have a bfp at the end, but knowing this in advance won't stop how I feel when it happens.

 

[tamithomas]

Dear friend ,stop spamming me with a local Canadian celebrities baby pictures and her bump saying "omg too precious". You know I had a M/C 5 months ago and that her BFP was accidental. How heartless can fertile people be!!!! It's like I gotta put a big fat tattoo on my forehead for people to remember " I M/C'ed 5 months ago, I don't care about baby photos!!!!!"

 

[Nazz4]

Some people don't get how crushing it is for some people when they mc. They think "oh well she will get pregnant again quickly and forget about it all." No. I think all the time about how I should have a baby right now. Some people just don't get it.

 

[Sunnyleah]

I know all about the fertile people. Forever asking when we plan on having children, and I want to shout at them well we PLANNED on it when we were pregnant 5 months ago, but that didn't go as planned. Ugh.

 

[tamithomas]

I know a lot of my rants are facebook related and I should ignore them but eh, that's what rant threads are about right? lol

Whoever invented parent related meme's, don't let me ever meet you. They are the single handly most annoying thing on facebook right now. Yes congrats you are proud of being a parent to a daughter or son, yes that mother rap is cute, but since when was being a parent an elite group?

 

[lynnxo]

We've been ttc for 7 months now and im really startin to get discouraged. I'm in my early 20s and hubby is in his late 20s and we just have had no luck at all. I'm really starting to think maybe we just can't have kids...we're planning on seeing my gyn in the next few months if we still have no luck. I thought everything would be fine for us but I'm starting to think maybe I just have a 'hostile' environment for sperm...

 

[lynnxo]

I know all about the fertile people. Forever asking when we plan on having children, and I want to shout at them well we PLANNED on it when we were pregnant 5 months ago, but that didn't go as planned. Ugh.

I hate this! It happens to me all the time. We actually had to tell hubby's mom that we were ttc so she'd stop making rude comments about us 'not having kids yet'. All my friends are pregnant or just had their 2nd or 3rd kid and I'm so over it. I feel like giving up

 

[lynnxo]

I hate myself today for being excited that I am probably ovulating right now, as it is probably the first time since March '12 that I've ovulated. I never once thought I'd be one of the unlucky that have fertility issues. I never once thought I wouldn't get my bfp because I don't ovulate most months. I have been waiting MONTHS to actually ovulate, and I already know that DH and I will probably miss the window, but I'll still be going into the TWW hoping and waiting, and it's going to be absolutely crushing to not have a bfp at the end, but knowing this in advance won't stop how I feel when it happens.

I sorry you've had such bad luck! I'm starting to get discouraged myself as we have been ttc for 7 months. You're in my prayers!

 

[lynnxo]

Dear friend ,stop spamming me with a local Canadian celebrities baby pictures and her bump saying "omg too precious". You know I had a M/C 5 months ago and that her BFP was accidental. How heartless can fertile people be!!!! It's like I gotta put a big fat tattoo on my forehead for people to remember " I M/C'ed 5 months ago, I don't care about baby photos!!!!!"

I'm so sorry for your loss and lack of empathy from people close to you. I have several friends who are all pregnant or are pregnant and all while we've been ttc and they try to be sensitive but they aren't. It just sucks!

 

[ItsMyTyme]

It doesnt get any easier. going on 7 years TTC now and not even a single shred of hope. No reason as to why it hasnt happened and never once had any irregularities until now (which have confused me beyond all belief) but when you start passing the year marks it does get super hard! The only way i have been able to survive it is to immerse myself in my friends lives. I have numerous god children, nieces and nephews but still feel that hollow feeling in my heart that only my child would fill. I keep saying i have no kids so i feed off everyone elses. Its worked for me a bit but i still have my breakdowns. We learned to take things in stride and when i feel overwhelmed i stick to those around me that are sympathetic to our plight. Facebook well that is the devil when you are TTC that is where most of my stress comes from and quite frankly i tend to just stay away from it. The way i see it is if people need to get up with me then they can email me or call my phone. stop symptom spotting it brings so much more stress to the table and getting your hopes high only to have them come crashing down hurts so much more than having an expected period. You are all in my prayers as you go through your journey and I hope and pray that none of you make it to 7 years like i am heading!

Oh an a question: I have always been regular never late and never early. I am suddenly having regular scheduled periods but there is nothing but spotting. i finished clomid in sept and now after 3 consecutive cycles of spotting i am at a loss for what is going on. It isnt my lining and it cant be that clomid is still im my system 4 months later (3 cycles 4 months) any advice would be helpful!