Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[NadiaSweety]

Does anyone else have trouble motivating the DH to get down to it during the important days each month? Last month we missed Ovulation day completely we only managed the day before and the day after. eariler in the month and after my AF was done this month His attitude changed.


I have noticed that my DH seems much more "into it" right before and right after the key days around O. I tell him when I predict the best time of the month will be and I am using the CB OPK as well to be sure. But for the last two months, in the morning around the time we really need to BD daily he avoids it. in the morning he says, not now but we will this evening for sure. and then he all "I'm too tired" in the evening. The next day he will say something like "well, since we missed last night we will have to do it twice tonight. But then he is too tired again. You would think that he does not really want to have a baby the way he is acting. But I know that is not true. I was the one that was unsure about starting the family now. But he changed my mind.

I wonder if the pressure is getting to him. Maybe I wont tell him when the next O day will be. Or maybe I can tell him another date so it can feel more spontaneous less like a chore or an obligations. I am sure that men fee the stress of the TTC proces as well. Worrying that there is something wrong with him. I am not sure what is the best way to help him get the same atitude he has the rest of the month into those crucial days around ovulation that will mean we can finally get the the BFP we have been waiting for.

 

[cntrygrl]

It doesnt get any easier. going on 7 years TTC now and not even a single shred of hope. No reason as to why it hasnt happened and never once had any irregularities until now (which have confused me beyond all belief) but when you start passing the year marks it does get super hard! The only way i have been able to survive it is to immerse myself in my friends lives. I have numerous god children, nieces and nephews but still feel that hollow feeling in my heart that only my child would fill. I keep saying i have no kids so i feed off everyone elses. Its worked for me a bit but i still have my breakdowns. We learned to take things in stride and when i feel overwhelmed i stick to those around me that are sympathetic to our plight. Facebook well that is the devil when you are TTC that is where most of my stress comes from and quite frankly i tend to just stay away from it. The way i see it is if people need to get up with me then they can email me or call my phone. stop symptom spotting it brings so much more stress to the table and getting your hopes high only to have them come crashing down hurts so much more than having an expected period. You are all in my prayers as you go through your journey and I hope and pray that none of you make it to 7 years like i am heading!

Oh an a question: I have always been regular never late and never early. I am suddenly having regular scheduled periods but there is nothing but spotting. i finished clomid in sept and now after 3 consecutive cycles of spotting i am at a loss for what is going on. It isnt my lining and it cant be that clomid is still im my system 4 months later (3 cycles 4 months) any advice would be helpful!

Has your DH ever had a sperm analysis done?

 

[ItsMyTyme]

Yea everything is good i o every month never late. It just confuses me!

 

[AussieBub]

My house is a frikken mess and its really starting to get on my nerves but DH won't step up and clean or at least offer to help clean. I'm 6 days late and everything I do, really runs me into the ground with exhaustion. I fell asleep on the sofa after starting to clean the bathroom. I start to clean but everything just drains all energy from me. Just really frustrated that under the circumstances that I might be pregnant, that DH doesn't help me out around the house. Also frustrated that I'm 6 days late, not getting a BFP and my friends due date for her first baby is this Sunday so she keeps going on and on about her pregnancy. I'm a grumpy, tired woman today.

-AussieBub

 

[AlyCon]

So yesterday was my lucky day (NOT!) I got to spend the entire day with a friend who has a 2 yr old and is in her first trimester carrying her second. Another girl who is in her second trimester with TWINS. And a girl who has a week old newborn.

And then there's me

This is why we declined the invite to our friends baby's baptisism. We would batty with all of the kids around. Major hugs

Thanks! it was so HARD!! But i just moved here and this girl is my neighbor and we've become soo close. She doesnt get out much so im her only friend except for the one with the newborn. I love her daughter, and she was turning 2 so of course i went. DH came with me so that helped. thanks again!

 

[babybemine]

Everything all clear with the RE. If not pregnant this cycle then we will be starting Femera.

 

[FireLyte]

@Nadia: I would recommend not telling DH when you're likely to O, or when you actually are o'ing. Your guy is probably feeling anxiety about needing to perform at such specific times/days and may not be able to perform under the pressure.

 

[CakeCottage]

Migraine would you kindly pi$$ off..? I would like to BD with my OH and you are making it increasingly difficult to do so!

 

[NadiaSweety]

It is just baffling how the human race still does not know how conception really works. How can we have put a man on the moon but we cant figure out how to optimize the conception process. The human body is still a mystery to us. And apparently if you live in a 1st world country and/or you make enough money to live a comfortable live then you have very high odd of infertility. Where as in lower income and harder off countries they often have the problem of having too many children.

 

[NadiaSweety]

@Nadia: I would recommend not telling DH when you're likely to O, or when you actually are o'ing. Your guy is probably feeling anxiety about needing to perform at such specific times/days and may not be able to perform under the pressure.

I was thinking that might be the case. If we don't get the BFP this month then I will keep the more technical details to my self. I realize I will also have to up my game as well. I don't want the BD to get weird. Which it obviously already has for my DH, he is just too shy to say anything about it.

 

[Nazz4]

Does anyone else have trouble motivating the DH to get down to it during the important days each month? Last month we missed Ovulation day completely we only managed the day before and the day after. eariler in the month and after my AF was done this month His attitude changed.


I have noticed that my DH seems much more "into it" right before and right after the key days around O. I tell him when I predict the best time of the month will be and I am using the CB OPK as well to be sure. But for the last two months, in the morning around the time we really need to BD daily he avoids it. in the morning he says, not now but we will this evening for sure. and then he all "I'm too tired" in the evening. The next day he will say something like "well, since we missed last night we will have to do it twice tonight. But then he is too tired again. You would think that he does not really want to have a baby the way he is acting. But I know that is not true. I was the one that was unsure about starting the family now. But he changed my mind.

I wonder if the pressure is getting to him. Maybe I wont tell him when the next O day will be. Or maybe I can tell him another date so it can feel more spontaneous less like a chore or an obligations. I am sure that men fee the stress of the TTC proces as well. Worrying that there is something wrong with him. I am not sure what is the best way to help him get the same atitude he has the rest of the month into those crucial days around ovulation that will mean we can finally get the the BFP we have been waiting for.

Just seduce him on the fertile days, without telling him that they are fertile days.

 

[LoveMyTripawd]

Hi everyone. This is my first post, and I thought I would start out with some venting. I have been needing to do this for awhile, so here it goes...

First of all, to myself-
Good job, idiot. You hinted to both of your parents that you are ttc. Now everyone knows. You really have no one to blame but yourself.

To my 18yo stepsister-
You are in labor at the moment. Great. Happy for ya. Now you can stop complaining about how much it sucks being pregnant. Glad you figured out who the dad is. Next time lets be a bit more careful, okay?

To my dad-
Don't ever tell me again that maybe my stepsister could teach me a thing or two about getting pregnant. Are you fricken kidding me??? If I would have gotten pregnant at the age of 17, I would not have been treated so kindly. But hey, have fun living with your stepdaughter and her newborn. I'm sure she won't try to pawn him off on you and your wife so she can go out with her friends.

To my friends-
Just because I pass on a beer doesn't mean I am pregnant. It means I don't want a beer. Please don't say "at least it is fun trying." NO! No, it is not always fun trying. Failing month after month is not fun! Sex on a schedule just sucks! People who say that it is fun trying obviously haven't had to try for very long!

To my sister-in-law-
You got pregnant your first month trying. Great. Yeah, it was awkward when you told me, wasn't it? Please don't say "I would explain to you how it works, but that's your brother I'd be talking about." You know what? Believe it or not, I know what sex is and I know which hole to use! I don't need an explanation.

To my husband-
You are so much more optimistic than I am and that is why I love you. But please be patient with me. I never meant to be psycho about all of this.

That is it for now. I'm sorry if I sound like a raging bitch, but I am just so sick of how ignorant and insensitive people can be. And why is everyone around me getting pregnant? How can so many people just accidentally get pregnant while others try for months and years? Ahhhh! I need to stop torturing myself....

 

[tannielicious]

Hi everyone. This is my first post, and I thought I would start out with some venting. I have been needing to do this for awhile, so here it goes...

First of all, to myself-
Good job, idiot. You hinted to both of your parents that you are ttc. Now everyone knows. You really have no one to blame but yourself.

To my 18yo stepsister-
You are in labor at the moment. Great. Happy for ya. Now you can stop complaining about how much it sucks being pregnant. Glad you figured out who the dad is. Next time lets be a bit more careful, okay?

To my dad-
Don't ever tell me again that maybe my stepsister could teach me a thing or two about getting pregnant. Are you fricken kidding me??? If I would have gotten pregnant at the age of 17, I would not have been treated so kindly. But hey, have fun living with your stepdaughter and her newborn. I'm sure she won't try to pawn him off on you and your wife so she can go out with her friends.

To my friends-
Just because I pass on a beer doesn't mean I am pregnant. It means I don't want a beer. Please don't say "at least it is fun trying." NO! No, it is not always fun trying. Failing month after month is not fun! Sex on a schedule just sucks! People who say that it is fun trying obviously haven't had to try for very long!

To my sister-in-law-
You got pregnant your first month trying. Great. Yeah, it was awkward when you told me, wasn't it? Please don't say "I would explain to you how it works, but that's your brother I'd be talking about." You know what? Believe it or not, I know what sex is and I know which hole to use! I don't need an explanation.

To my husband-
You are so much more optimistic than I am and that is why I love you. But please be patient with me. I never meant to be psycho about all of this.

That is it for now. I'm sorry if I sound like a raging bitch, but I am just so sick of how ignorant and insensitive people can be. And why is everyone around me getting pregnant? How can so many people just accidentally get pregnant while others try for months and years? Ahhhh! I need to stop torturing myself....

Don't worry you aren't the only one feeling this way

In the last year, I've been bombarded with BFPs and birth announcements like crazy. Everyone is starting to ask questions and look at me funny which isn't great

 

[Heather.1987]

.

 

[AussieBub]

I just want to give up. Throw my hands up and surrender! I'm 9 days late with A LOT of symptoms including heaps of strong tugging in my uterus and I asked in a thread how long it took the women to get their BFP's? a women just responded with this:

I would go to a dr. It is extremely rare to not have a bfp by 17 dpo. And if so, it isn't because your levels are slow to rise, it's because you have something that messes with the test. You can try diluting your urine a bit and that will read a positive result for some people. The chance of a negative test and a pregnancy is very very rare though so try not to get your hopes up Hun. I'd go to the dr if I were you and see what's going on.

I feel like I just died inside. Holding onto hope has been the only thing getting me through all the mood swings and body aches and headaches and nausea etc. Now I just feel so stupid and wish I'd never tried. I was foolish to think I'd ever be lucky enough to fall pregnant. Just want to find somewhere dark to curl up and cry.

-AussieBub

 

[oneKnight]

Don't give up! My sister got pg on such a long cycle she had assumed it was anovulatory! She said she probably O'd after she had taken her first pg test!! There's probably nothing "messing with your body" except that you ovulated later than you thought, and aren't really as many dpo as you think.

 

[Nazz4]

So got AF today, 2nd month TTC and OH had the nerve to ask me if my "ovaries are broken" Then he started talking about this girl at his work who just had her baby and is on maternity leave. I started tearing up, but didn't want him to know I was so I just looked down. I kind of dislike him right now.

 

[awifey]

Called an aunt to ask for a favor....she got all disappointed no bfp announcement, thought that was the favor I was asking for. I just needed her help on taxes.

 

[stillwishingx]

Why, why, why, why!

I feel like i can never get away from the fact I'm having so much trouble trying to have a baby! The girls at work have their little ones to show off, on the fridge in the break room, emailing pictures.. and yet they all still live at home with their parents, and drug addicted boyfriends. I get so stinkin' jealous.
I feel like i'm being punished for getting so jealous, and thinking all these awful things. Maybe if i just suck it up one day it might be my turn..
yeah right, ..
My wedding is right around the corner so even more people are starting to ask when dh and i will have a baby.. "everyone else is"
WELL I'M TRYING HERE.

Maybe a break would do me some good.. for right now, i'll take ice cream and a good cry.

 

[oneKnight]

So got AF today, 2nd month TTC and OH had the nerve to ask me if my "ovaries are broken" Then he started talking about this girl at his work who just had her baby and is on maternity leave. I started tearing up, but didn't want him to know I was so I just looked down. I kind of dislike him right now.

Thanks to sex ed - all guys believe the girl will magically get pregnant the first time they have unprotected sex, no matter what day of the month it is.


And yeah, sometimes I think I should start drinking excessively, smoking recreationally and taking BC pills intermittently - seems to work for "everyone else" grrrrrrrrr!!