Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[tamithomas]

Starting to wonder if smoking was a contributing factor to my cycles being off sometimes. I'm now 12 hours without any smokes and suddenly I'm getting signs of AF (I decided officially enough is enough when I had a scare last night with my left arm started to hurt and had heartburn that I couldn't get rid of. I feel fine today but I saw it as a sign that it's time to officially give it up for good) I'm just very ugh at the fact that AF is now 5-6 days late.

 

[knitter]

Hey just want to rant. I'm crying as I write this, no one else understands. I have been with my husband for six years, he has always wanted kids, but due to a very abusive childhood I have GAD. It too me a long time to get control of my anxiety, but now I want a baby so much but it's not happening, maybe I have left it too late, i'm 30. My friend is in labour right now and I can't stop crying, I am happy for her but I wish so badly it was me, I tried to talk to my husband but he said I was being selfish x

 

[VP1228]

Hey just want to rant. I'm crying as I write this, no one else understands. I have been with my husband for six years, he has always wanted kids, but due to a very abusive childhood I have GAD. It too me a long time to get control of my anxiety, but now I want a baby so much but it's not happening, maybe I have left it too late, i'm 30. My friend is in labour right now and I can't stop crying, I am happy for her but I wish so badly it was me, I tried to talk to my husband but he said I was being selfish x

Sometimes I think guys don't understand how much pain we go through seeing other people with their baby or babies. I truly understand how you feel. I have cried almost everyday for the last 7 weeks since my friend told me she was 6 weeks pregnant. I do not think you are being selfish, I think you are being human. It is very hard to deal with the pain of not being pregnant and having a baby. Just know your not alone and everyone has felt that way at one point in their life.

 

[knitter]

thank you so so much it means a lot to me to know that some one understands, Hope its your turn soon sending you baby prayers x

 

[VP1228]

Thanks I hope we get our BFP soon! Well mine will not be too soon because I am having a laparoscopy done on June 7th so i will not be trying until the doctor gives me the OK

 

[Limm]

The same girl who told me I was punishing her and her child for not wanting to talk about babies after having a possible m/c has not only been telling my husband (her "best friend") that I went off on her about it (I showed him the emails that show I didn't) but also seems to think her post-natal depression is more important. That is not to say that I think it isn't a serious condition (I've had depression for 16 years) but how can I feel bad for her having depression after having a child while my depression has gone crazy after what my husband and I have had to go through?

She has even had the nerve to tell me to not dare come between her and my husband and that she cares about him more than I know.

On top of this, her fiancee emailed my husband, asking to meet up behind my back to talk about me as if I am the problem and also stated on his FB that he feels like breaking my skull for "upsetting his baby".

I am sick of feeling like the villain and that my body failing me all the time is punishment.

 

[VP1228]

The same girl who told me I was punishing her and her child for not wanting to talk about babies after having a possible m/c has not only been telling my husband (her "best friend") that I went off on her about it (I showed him the emails that show I didn't) but also seems to think her post-natal depression is more important. That is not to say that I think it isn't a serious condition (I've had depression for 16 years) but how can I feel bad for her having depression after having a child while my depression has gone crazy after what my husband and I have had to go through?

She has even had the nerve to tell me to not dare come between her and my husband and that she cares about him more than I know.

On top of this, her fiancee emailed my husband, asking to meet up behind my back to talk about me as if I am the problem and also stated on his FB that he feels like breaking my skull for "upsetting his baby".

I am sick of feeling like the villain and that my body failing me all the time is punishment.

Not to offend you or make you upset but your husband is suppose to defend you. Is he doing that? If not then you may want to discuss that with him also. But about the thing with the girl I think she is trying to be an attention whore (sorry for the language) because if she is trying to get your husband on her side she is a bottomfeeder. And for her boyfriend I would tell him he needs to raise his child and his wife.

 

[Limm]

DH has been nothing but supportive, it's just obviously hard on him because they've been friends for a long time. He has told her to back off and give us space, so hopefully she'll listen to him because she didn't listen to a word I said.

IMHO I think she has some feelings for him. She tried to convince him to sing a love song with her at our wedding reception before, plus whenever I would visit on my own, she'd only seem to want to talk about herself or him. I'm not threatened, just weirded out I guess.

 

[VP1228]

DH has been nothing but supportive, it's just obviously hard on him because they've been friends for a long time. He has told her to back off and give us space, so hopefully she'll listen to him because she didn't listen to a word I said.

IMHO I think she has some feelings for him. She tried to convince him to sing a love song with her at our wedding reception before, plus whenever I would visit on my own, she'd only seem to want to talk about herself or him. I'm not threatened, just weirded out I guess.

I was thinking the same thing but I didn't want to upset you. She does need to back off because she is not his wife you are. And yeah they have been friends for awhile but if she is causing you heartache she needs to be out of the picture until she grows up. Now I wish me and you could switch places she would really back off after I tell her what she needs to know. She has a husband of her own she needs to keep her paws off of yours. Ugh has me upset and its not my situation. I do not like when people over step their boundaries

 

[Sam10]

Okay. That breaking your skull comment. Yup...I'd never speak to them again. That is just psycho. Your husband should probably cut ties because this lady is just trying to cause problems. Sorry. Reading that made me mad.

 

[Limm]

I've blocked them on my FB and left it at that really. We never see them about anyways so I doubt there will be more bother.

Doesn't stop me feeling like utter poo, however.

In other news, I have been having some symptoms, but I'm not building my hopes up just yet as I don't think I could have conceived that quickly. Have been doing much more BD than usual so hopefully that will help. Not sure how I'm going to feel if it's another BFN this cycle.

 

[Paperhearts]

Thank you MrsShannahan, I really appreciate it.

Limm, that is disgusting and wrong and they have no right to talk to you that way. What's wrong with these people?! Not only are you trying so hard conceive but then they add that stress? They aren't friends. Even to your husband. If they cared about him like they say then they would love and care about his wife also since you are his other half and the most important factor in his life. I'm so sorry you have to deal with such wicked people. Don't let them bully you, Love. xx

 

[ashntony]

Limm i havebeen in that situation bbeforr! My dhs nd was also agirl... she was jealous that he started spending all of his time with me... .she made fake fb profiles to try and lure my dh away! We have madeamends since then tho

 

[HBGirl]

Warning, serious rant!

F you body! How freaking DARE you! How could you do this to me again!!! I get to loose 3 babies now! I am literally heart broken.

 

[tamithomas]

Wow Limm, how terrible. I'm so sorry to hear. Some women can be royal pain in the asses honestly. The more I get to know the infertility community, the more I realize just how ignorant humanity can be. The fertile world seems to be very judgemental of the infertile world and usually can not mix. Sometimes it does but for the most part usually the fertile world no matter how much they try trully can not understand.

 

[FireLyte]

@Limm: So sorry to hear that you've got to go through that! I don't blame you for blocking them on fb.

@tami: For the most part, I agree 100%. Though, I've not had such a bad experience with single, fertile, non-ttc women. I think a big part of the problem is that the fertile world has a hard time understanding the infertile world, and vice versa. I've heard both sides say, you haven't experienced this, how would you know? And, as much as it SUCKS, it's true. I think all of us TTC'ing and having problems think it's going to be wonderful when we have our bfp's, because, finally, FINALLY it happens, but in reality, we will probably be as miserable as they were. Not that this excuses them for being so insensitive towards our population. We live in a state of heightened sensitivity to all things baby related, and those that know our struggles need to, at the least, be sensitive and respect our boundaries.

 

[tamithomas]

Oh hi AF...how nice of you to finally show up a week late

 

[VP1228]

@Limm: So sorry to hear that you've got to go through that! I don't blame you for blocking them on fb.

@tami: For the most part, I agree 100%. Though, I've not had such a bad experience with single, fertile, non-ttc women. I think a big part of the problem is that the fertile world has a hard time understanding the infertile world, and vice versa. I've heard both sides say, you haven't experienced this, how would you know? And, as much as it SUCKS, it's true. I think all of us TTC'ing and having problems think it's going to be wonderful when we have our bfp's, because, finally, FINALLY it happens, but in reality, we will probably be as miserable as they were. Not that this excuses them for being so insensitive towards our population. We live in a state of heightened sensitivity to all things baby related, and those that know our struggles need to, at the least, be sensitive and respect our boundaries.

That is very true. I was mad at my friend because she is pregnant, but now I really don't care anymore about it. It's more of a I am going to be happy for her because I have been there for her through everything and she has been there for me. She is actually very supportive even though she has her annoying moments about her pregnancy I bet I will annoy her when I get pregnant

 

[HBGirl]

Oh hi AF...how nice of you to finally show up a week late

hugs. Mine showed up today, 4 days late. I'm never late. I passed tissue last night so I can only assume I have lost another one.

 

[Han_1987]

This is my first post on this site (hi everyone!), I had to find a way of letting out my TTC frustration!

TTC in general... 7 months in and I hate you! I didn't think I would feel this way but every month my heart breaks. Had soo many friends just get pregnant straight away and it makes me sick!

If someone tells me to "chill out" and "it'll happen when it happens" one more time I'm going to smack them! They are the most irritating comments in the world even if you mean well.

I work 6 days a week at the moment and don't have much time to relax, I just feel caught in a cycle and its just crap. Pllleeassee let me get pregnant soon.