Trying To Conceive #1+ Vent Thread

[Bloblo]

Ttc #1 for 4th cycle. Going crazy during 2ww now - 9dpo... didn't feel we should share ttc with family or friends, but feeling so crazy - analysing every little symptom and not being able to discuss it with other people, so joined this forum today. Hoping you ladies will help me to get some sanity back.

 

[rickyandlucy]

Same boat as you. We've been off BC for a year and a half, and actually trying for about 6 months. Getting very frustrated. On second round of clomid now. Don't want my family to know though. My mom keeps dropping hints though. Told me she had a dream the other night about a curly brown haired little boy. Little does she know how much I want that to be true.

 

[LaneyP]

I am 30 years old and decided 4 months ago to start a family. Little did I know what that entailed. Call me naive or just dumb but I knew very little about it. Like there is 3/4 days in a whole month when you can actually get pregnant. And when you ovulate during your cycle. Yes i had sex ed in school but that was 18 years ago. I hardly remember it. I was put on the contraceptive pill at 18. I never ovualted until I come off it 4 months ago. I felt like I didn't know my body. Luckily my period started 5 weeks after coming off the pill. I thought my body is healthy, I'm obviously able to become pregnant as my cycle came back so quickly after being on the pill for 12 years. And yes I know alot of women have been trying for years and I've only been trying 4 months. But we are still experiencing the same feelings and emotions. I cry my heart out each month my period comes, even though I still do a pregnancy test 'just to make sure'. My sister in law fell pregnant after one month of trying. Seriously??! I found it hard to even look her in the eye. Of course it's not her fault, it's me. My body, my emotions. My sister is on her 4th child, she keeps telling me it will happen. I try to avoid the subject. Everywhere i look I see babies, in my workplace, on the TV, in my neighbourhood. I keep trying to tell myself it's still early days, you are young and it will happen. But I don't think those words do any good. Which is why I am writing this post. I hope you can help me, advise me or just talk to me as i know you have or are experiencing what I am. Thank you x

 

[Needabun]

LaneyP- I definitely am. Im 22 and DH and I have just started TTC #1. Before that we were NTNP but we still wanted it just as bad. During these years i cant tell you how many people i know who fell PG, and half of them said they didnt even want kids or are just really irresponsible and throw there kids off on everyone. Like really!! I know i deserve to be a mom and i would be a damn good one. What makes them so worthy of getting to experience this joy while im stuck with BFNs and MCs. I know how it feels to (in all honesty) be envious of other pregnancies and be angry. When i get like that i feel so ashamed and i try to be happy for that person even though im hurting so bad inside. But being around anything that has to do with pregnancy or babies can suck too. And it is EVERYWHERE!!!! I work in the infant room at my job so i have a bitter sweet feeling everyday. I love being with the babies but its also a constant reminder of what i dont have. But the one thing that really ruins it all is there's a pregnant girl that works in there (of course) and her pregnancy is ALL she ever talks about all day. I swear i try so hard not to be bitter inside smh. However, ive come to a certain peace with everything by just really believing that it CAN and WILL happen for ME! We hear it so often from our friends and family but deep inside we dont always believe it. We have to believe!!! Also now that DH and i have moved on to actually TTC ive felt a lot of stress being lifted off of me, i feel like im one step closer for some reason. Maybe i am...

 

[Needabun]

So im sitting here right, talking to the girlfriend of my husband's friend. She just found out she's PG
So we're just talking about her experience so far being PG. Ask questions, encourage, say awww!!.... Its the polite thing to do. I would want that for me when i get my moment. We should all always be happy for each other.

.... I don't wanna feel sad tonight. It was a great night.

 

[mrsbertrand]

TTC Sucks! I don't think it matters how long you have been TTC, It matters how badly in your heart you want to have a baby. Haven't been to the fertility clinic since June, but am on a wait list for covered IVF, though having just read that the drugs arent covered and can cost up to $5,000 i'm REALLY hoping it will happen naturally.

Hard to BD on appropriate days or at all as I was diagnosed with IBS-D a year ago and it has negatively affected my sex life.

Been TTC 3 years (as of December 18(Now aged 26 and hubby aged 28)). Though I'm not sure frequency of sex would matter, as we BD every day for two months when we first started TTC.

Hubby's sperm is 98% abnormal, though the specialist didn't seem too concerned. Not sure why this isn't working. We are going to look into suppliments and vitamins (zinc, multivitamin, etc.

I am watching everyone around me get pregnant 1 and two times over in this time frame ( cousins, siblings, friends, co-workers etc ). I was finally at peace with it in July but that misery is creeping in again.

 

[Needabun]

I feel you mrsbertrand. I swear i understand.... Its so hard.

 

[Ele3085]

LaneyP and mrsbertrand

I understand Completely how you feel , we have been trying since August 2015 , his sister in law didn't want kids , and then all of a sudden she is pregnant within 2 months of trying , his other sister has a 5 months old , and his aunt is already carrying her 2nd . It is heartbreaking for me to see all this since I have wanted a baby since I was 10 . It really doesnt help the situation when they tell me , "oh you have plenty of time , and try not to think about it so much" They don't understand what I am going through because they already have kids , and its really difficult not to think about something I've wanted all my life , how long can you go without breathing or eating?
Is the response I would like to say , but I just say nothing : /

 

[Sky81]

Dear Ladies,
Happy I found this thread...what a stressful journey. Little did I know when I wanted to start a family that it would be met with a MC and a D&C(that was last year)...now back to square one...been trying again for 6 months now and nothing is happening.
It is hard to talk about it as my best friends just have babies and I don't want to bring my dark cloak of sadness and ruin their joyful moment. Not talking about the ongoing questions from my family " so what's going on" -"when are you going to announce us the good news", "so and so just had a baby and you...?"
Hubby well hubby is supportive but sometimes even his innocent statements would hurt ," give back the baby to your friend it is not yours"
I have become very sensitive to those statements...and each month when AF comes to visit it brings me down a little more.
I was told you need to be stress free...you need to be positive...I found that much harder to "put into practice"

 

[Sky81]

to everyone out there in the same boat!

 

[HeatherLouise]

It's so difficult to keep a massive part of your life (and 80% of my thoughts) a "secret"

We've been TTC for 8 months, I have a wonderful step-daughter and 5 nieces.
I think people are constantly waiting for me to announce I'm pregnant.
My mum had fertility problems and it took her 5 years and numerous rounds of Clomid.. I think I don't want to worry her more than anything because she'll instantly think the worst, so I can't share this.
I'm so happy I decided to join this forum after months
I don't feel so alone now xxx

 

[Sasha92]

Hello ladies. This is my 4th month of officially TTC and im getting really deflated

I don't think we caught ovulation on the first month. Our 2nd month we definitely caught ovulation, I was feeling abit off then I suddenly had a really heavy period a week before my due date (that has never happened before, I normally have 30-35 day cycles and I came on on day 21)

Last month we once again caught ovulation however because of what happened the month before my partner is saying it was always going to be hit and miss...

I'm starting to worry something is wrong with me as were both young (24 & 29) so why isn't it happening... this month's ovulation is due on the 25th so we will be chatting and trying again however we are going on holiday for my 25th I've read online it shouldn't affect the baby (if there happens to be one) but I guess we can't put our life's on hold forever.

I know alot of people have waited alot longer but I've already waiting 5 years ti get to a point where I can every try so this is killing me!

Baby dust to all xx

 

[rickyandlucy]

Don't stress yourself yet, 4 months is not a long time in the TTC world. I know it seems like it happens fast for other people, but that is not the norm, and we don't always know what everyone went through to get there. Remember, even if you time everything perfectly, you still only have a 20% chance of conceiving each cycle. And at your age, as long as your cycles are regular they don't even recommend going to the doc until you have been TTC for a year or more.

We were NTNP for about a year, and TTC for the last 8 months. I am 28, DH is 30. We are both fit and healthy. I have already been to the doc because I went several months without ovulating at all. Tomorrow I start my 4th round of clomid. Really hoping this cycle will be the one. Fx!

 

[Greensboroug]

What sometimes makes me upset is thinking I missed my time when I had more chances to conceive. I'm over 30 now, but maybe in 20s it would have been easier. But I chose career over kid

 

[KailaB24]

I love this thread! This will be DH and I's first month ever TTC, as we have been NTNP for the last month. Although we haven't been "harassed" very much yet about when we will be having a baby, I still absolutely hate the pressure being put on us! My sister and brother-in-law went through 3 years of infertility and eventually conceived via IVF, and as soon as they announced their pregnancy this past thanksgiving, DH's grandma said "welp your next!". Not only is that rude to my SIL but how do I respond to that in front of the whole family?!

I also have another complaint.. too many to count I suppose! lol...and that is women who get pregnant by accident and complain about it! I have a girl in my office at work who was not TTC and always brags about how it wasn't planned. One minute she is talking about buying cute outfits and deciding on a name, the next she is talking about how she can't wait until "this thing comes out" and is also super dramatic about how crappy she feels all the time. She will literally walk around the office at the pace of a snail talking about her back hurting, having a headache, going to throw up, etc etc etc. I TOTALLY understand that pregnancy affects everyone's body differently, but this is 24/7. I just want to shake her and say "stop acting whiny and be grateful you are growing an effing human!!!"

Sorry for the rant, but its now over!

 

[Terrastella]

Oh, this thread is perfect for me right now! I have a 6 year old son who took me about a year of actively TTC to get pregnant with. A lot of changes happened over those 6 years and I am in a new relationship with my current partner of 5 years. We have been waiting to TTC until we have all our ducks in a row when it comes to our careers and credit and emotional stability. We finally felt ready to start TTC and we are on cycle 2 now.

My vent portion of this is that my brother who is about 2 years younger than me has a mess of a life. Just filed for a divorce, he can't support himself or his 2 year old son. I hate to say it but he's just a loser right now. However, his new girlfriend of less than 2 months just announced that they are pregnant with twins!! WTF?! Why is it that the people who shouldn't be having kids are the ones that get pregnant so easy?? Of course I got their "good" news the day after my period started after our first month of TTC. So I am devestated. Ugh, thanks for giving me a place to release my frustrations.

 

[fionahazel]

Hello ladies
This is my 9th month TTC after an ectopic pregnancy... Since than my cycles have been irregular, ranging from 20-28days.
Both me and my DH are 30yrs old and have done every possible test and analysis, and nothing came wrong until this month. It turned out I have luteal insufficiency with low levels of FSH and LH- I do sports regularly. I did folliculometry this cycle and have ovulated, so my doc put me on natural progesterone pill and now I'm in the TWW...
I am very veeery happy for everyone who got BFP, but I can not describe the depression and poor feeling I have knowing that I am the only one not getting pregnant. 90% of my girlfriends are expecting or have kids.. Trust me, I think the only person in my life right know who is NOT pregnant is my male dog (yes, my female dog is ALSO pregnant). Trying to be positive, really trying, but it gets so hard sometimes.
I wish you guys have better luck, more positive thoughts, shorter waiting time and less depressive feeling... Sorry for my bad english

 

[mrsfrank]

Hello!

This is my 10th cycle ttc and I'm sure happy to have found a place where I can rant/talk about what i'm going through and feel welcomed and supported (thank you!). I'm concerned about killing the spark in my marriage over all of the chatting, charting, doctors appointments, checking and testing. DH and I are both pretty young 26/27 and neither of us have any children. We have been together for about seven years but only married for one. Before we got married we weren't thinking too much about having children and now it feels like something we're discussing all the time. DH is worried something is wrong with him (just insecurity, we've been to see the doc!) and I just don't want to make it any worse by discussing it with him and making him feel bad. This last time af came and I could tell that he was disappointed, I was too. I want to be sensitive to what he's feeling but it's a delicate balance to try to hold someone up when you're feeling pretty dismantled too
Marriage, am I right?

I'm feeling what everyone has been saying about how easy it seems for others to get pregnant. Someone in our family calls herself the "baby machine" and it's actually the worst to have her around. I feel so bad saying that because she really hasn't done anything wrong, it just makes me feel terrible to sit and listen to her brag about all of her very successful pregnancies and natural births. On top of that, I also have the MIL and Mom that never stop asking when it's going to happen. Bah!

I do feel better here on bnb. What a fantastic community. I can't wait to get to know you all a little better.

 

[Waiting4PFT]

I don't want to feel insensitive by posting this. I know 5 months is not that long. I got off depo last spring and got my period back in August 2016. My doctor says to count from January, but I have technically been trying unprotected since august 2016 when I got my period back. I am feeling very defeated. AF was supposed to be here today and yesterday I had a faint line (i think), but today they were all negative. I am wondering if I just want it so bad that I made myself see a line. I know I still have a chance since AF hasn't showed, but the wait is KILLLING me.

 

[Waiting4PFT]

Also... I have a friend who is now on baby number 3 and keeps rushing me to be pregnant so we can be pregnant together... like HELLO? I have been trying. And then theres the other friend... maybe you should see a specialist.