Trying to get into a positive headspace (venting a bit too)

[Carmello_01]

I wish I could be hooked up to BnB constantly, you ladies (and gents too) are so lovely and positive...

Pregnancy after miscarriage is hard. I'm on a constant thought cycle of feeling grateful then telling myself not to get too ahead of myself then feeling like an a**hole for thinking that then feeling sad then feeling scared,then feeling really scared and then knowing we had a lovely strong HB on early scan on Friday and stupidly comparing it with the hb of the baby we lost...
I'm my own worst enemy! I want to enjoy this, the angel we lost would have been with us on Christmas eve (booked c-section) and as this day gets closer my head space gets worse and worse. I thought I'd cried all the tears I could.

So in love with this little bean in my belly, and of course my gorgeous toddler. I feel like I need permission to enjoy this time. Gah!

I know so many of you have been through this and are going through this at the moment...

 

[Beadette]

Oh darling, I'm sure the rollercoaster of emotions you are going through is completely normal! I have not been through a devastating loss of a bub but even I go through positive and negative feelings all the time!

I'm sending lots of hugs and pma vibes your way!!!!! Xxxxxxxxx

 

[BrookieG]

hun i lost my angel in april and know exactly how your feeling... I was so so nervous up until my 12 week scan (this is when we ound out Baby G died in april) all i could think about was this little one being ok...i cried n cried during my scan when i saw my little one wriggling about looking healthy...now though all i can think about is my angel, i feel guilty that she'll think we've forgotten her coz we're so focused on this baby....being pregnant after losing a baby is really hard but in a way makes it all that more special n more of a miracle...im keeping going by thinking my little angel is keeping this baby safe....pm me if you ever need to talk hun xx

 

[lauren709]

awww hun your not alone in what your going through, I too experienced a mc last February and have been going through the same rollercoaster of emotions ever since I found out I was pg last month. Unfortunately, mc really takes away the innocence and fun of pregnancy. Before my mc, I never thought anything could go wrong, I was 21 and the possibility of a mc hadn't even crossed my mind, now 1 year later and pregnant I find myself constantly worried, I just went for my first ultrasound on Saturday at 6 weeks, baby's heartrate and everything was fine but for some reaosn I'm still a nervous mess, I keep telling myself I will finally be able to relax if I can reach week 13 but sadly I know that's not true, I'll worry right through this whole pregnancy....just kepe telling yourself that every pregnancy is different and that nothing is impossible for God. Try to relax hun, your nto alone. Fingers crossed for you to have a happy and uneventful pg

 

[lauralora]

hey hun i no exactly how u feel, i had a m/c back in july and its absolutley devestating, now im pregnant again i just cant enjoy it, i feel negative and emotional alot of the time. ive got my 12 week scan on thursday and cant help feeling negative about that either, but at the same time i feel happy and grateful to have reached this far!
gud luck with your pregnancy xxxx

 

[Carmello_01]

Oh, thank you ladies for your support! It's a sad reason we all have in common but I'm glad we have place like this forum to feel a- like we're not going mad and b- we're not alone.

Your responses made me cry, but not in a bad way. ThankYou!

 

[cherryglitter]

Hey hunny, I miscarried at the start of October, and I fell pregnant with no period inbetween. I've been petrified throughout this pregnancy, constantly worrying about everything.

I had a dating scan on Friday, I felt like I couldn't breathe before I went in, I wanted to walk out! Just because I wanted to be safe in the knowledge that I was pregnant, even if something was wrong. Sounds stupid doesn't it.

But of course, I went in, and everything was perfect. I couldn't believe it!
The baby was jumping everywhere and was really active. Had a heartbeat and I was also put forward 3 days!

Everything will be fine, every pregnancy is different. xxxxx

 

[bek74]

I wish I could be hooked up to BnB constantly, you ladies (and gents too) are so lovely and positive...

Pregnancy after miscarriage is hard. I'm on a constant thought cycle of feeling grateful then telling myself not to get too ahead of myself then feeling like an a**hole for thinking that then feeling sad then feeling scared,then feeling really scared and then knowing we had a lovely strong HB on early scan on Friday and stupidly comparing it with the hb of the baby we lost...
I'm my own worst enemy! I want to enjoy this, the angel we lost would have been with us on Christmas eve (booked c-section) and as this day gets closer my head space gets worse and worse. I thought I'd cried all the tears I could.

So in love with this little bean in my belly, and of course my gorgeous toddler. I feel like I need permission to enjoy this time. Gah!

I know so many of you have been through this and are going through this at the moment...

Oh honey I can so relate. I mc after my 2nd son @11wks and I remember when I fell pregnant 3mths later I was a wreck, I was worried about every little twinge and pain that I felt.
I remember sharing this with my wonderful OB at the time and he said to me " having MC'd wasn't your fault, there was something wrong with the foetus, that every women who have multiple pregnancies will experience at least one MC during their child baring years, you have experienced that so now it is time to allow yourself to enjoy this pregnancy"

He was right, I had to move forward and focus on the little bean growing inside of me. Honey you will never forget, I still remember my due date, I still wonder what sex the bean would have been, and it is ok to have those feelings just don't let them take over.

You said your bean was due Christmas Eve, it's ok to remember that and have that feeling of loss, but also know that this Christmas eve you have a wonderful toddler and a precious bean growing inside of you, you have alot to be thankful for and you need to remember that.

 

[Truman]

Hi, firstly I am sorry for your loss for everyone here. I must say I am very wary of BnB particularly First Tri, my OH sighs when I log on because there is always a sad post and it is difficult to stay positive after a mc. We will never forget, I am sure of that, but I know in my heart these things happen for a reason and it wasn't meant to be. When I had my scan last week I couldn't breath when i first lay down, then she said she could see the heart beat..... since then I have been praying for my next scan, I need constant reassurance. All I can say is be strong and stay positive.