Trying to settle a 2 year old into nursery, help?

[Linzi_x]

So my 24 month old daughter started nursery last Wednesday for 2 days a week - Wednesdays and Thursdays. She goes from 07.45 - 17.45 which is such a long day but I can't just quit work

When I drop her off she cries and cries and cries and clings on to me. I try and settle her for about 15 minutes but she won't get off my knee and when she does, she cries even more. She has a comforter and I am going to take her in with a little photo book of our family so if she feels upset she can look at it. I will also give her a little notebook and tell her keyworker that when she has settled, to stick a sticker in the book and make a big fuss over her settling down.

I'm not sure what else I can do, I feel extremely guilty and quite frankly, dreading the morning.

Any suggestions on how to settle her would be much appreciated.

Oh just to add, I have a book about first day at nursery and constantly read that to her to reassure her that mummy does come back.

 

[seoj]

I know this may not be what you'd like to hear- but I'd suggest you keep the dropoff short and sweet. Drawing it out can cause more anxiety and she might just keep wanting more and more... she will know your coming back. You show that every day you drop her off by picking her up.

I know it's hard hun- the first several dropoff I had with my LO when she started she'd cry. It broke my heart- and I usually had to give hugs and say I'll see you soon and leave before I started to cry! But, what reassured me is that once I was gone, she settled quickly and did great!

Have you talked to the worker? How does she do while your gone?

Otherwise, no great advise- just know it will happen in time. She'll adjust. She still knows she is loved and well taken care of. I promise!!!

 

[Linzi_x]

I know this may not be what you'd like to hear- but I'd suggest you keep the dropoff short and sweet. Drawing it out can cause more anxiety and she might just keep wanting more and more... she will know your coming back. You show that every day you drop her off by picking her up.

I know it's hard hun- the first several dropoff I had with my LO when she started she'd cry. It broke my heart- and I usually had to give hugs and say I'll see you soon and leave before I started to cry! But, what reassured me is that once I was gone, she settled quickly and did great!

Have you talked to the worker? How does she do while your gone?

Otherwise, no great advise- just know it will happen in time. She'll adjust. She still knows she is loved and well taken care of. I promise!!!

Other people have been saying this to me too. I need to talk to the keyworker tomorrow so once I've done that I'm just going to give her a kiss and a cuddle, say I'll be back later and walk out the nursery. The nursery has said she has been teary on and off all day at nursery so I'm really hoping it's just a phase and she settles If not I don't know what to do.

 

[MrsButterfly]

Hugs. It's so tough seeing them like that. But totally normal as she's settling somewhere totally new.

She will be way worse when she knows you're there to witness it so when I was settling my boy in I used to just say bye bye with big smiles and go and then cry by myself in the car! You will probably have to deal with the tears for a few weeks and it will undoubtedly be worse on Wednesdays after she's had a few days away but she WILL adjust and it will get easier. As long as you like the nursery and the staff just keep at it!

 

[seoj]

I know this may not be what you'd like to hear- but I'd suggest you keep the dropoff short and sweet. Drawing it out can cause more anxiety and she might just keep wanting more and more... she will know your coming back. You show that every day you drop her off by picking her up.

I know it's hard hun- the first several dropoff I had with my LO when she started she'd cry. It broke my heart- and I usually had to give hugs and say I'll see you soon and leave before I started to cry! But, what reassured me is that once I was gone, she settled quickly and did great!

Have you talked to the worker? How does she do while your gone?

Otherwise, no great advise- just know it will happen in time. She'll adjust. She still knows she is loved and well taken care of. I promise!!!

Other people have been saying this to me too. I need to talk to the keyworker tomorrow so once I've done that I'm just going to give her a kiss and a cuddle, say I'll be back later and walk out the nursery. The nursery has said she has been teary on and off all day at nursery so I'm really hoping it's just a phase and she settles If not I don't know what to do.

Well it is much easier to say hun not that it makes it ANY easier on the parent. Most likely, yes, it's a phase- and one that may come and go. My LO cried every single time I dropped her off at the gym care for a long time (and that was only for an hour!)- but always fine the moment I was out of site (I'd wait outside to see! lol)- but then she started up again. But totally fine now. I have always handed her off to a worker- only once did she let me put her down without kicking up a fuss. Otherwise, they know I'm handing her off- I think it helps her transition a bit. I do the same at her daycare when she goes. They hold her for a bit to comfort her- then she's fine and moves on... not sure if you already do that, if not, it might help?

Hopefully she fully adjusts soon hun... it will happen!

 

[ay2808]

The best thing you can do is talk happily and confidently about what a fun day she will have with her new friends, kiss and cuddle and hand her over and walk away in an upbeat way. Even if you have to become an actress for 5 mins! You can always call the nursery from the car/train/work but they react to you so you have to show them it will all be fine. It's horrible to leave them but honestly the shorter the better. Big hugs as it's so hard on us! Xx

 

[zorak]

I also agree, keep the drop off very short and sweet. Always talk about nursery in a positive way but reassure you will be back. Personally I think the photo book is a bad idea, it could make her dwell on you not being there more.

 

[pa2k84]

Another agree to short drop off here. It does work, keep it positive, take her in quick kids and cuddle my will see you later and go. She will still cry but the hanging around is making her cry and just prolonging the inevitable. 2 is a hard age anyway, she will settle and there will come a day when she doesn't even say goodbye - which makes you feel bad again for other reasons! - kids are hard!

 

[CRWx]

I agree with the short drop off, my DD has been at nursery since she was an itty bitty baby (full time student) and cries now at drop off in the morning more often than not. I take her in, put her bag on her peg, give her a kiss and a cuddle, tell her I love her, that I hope she has a nice day and that I'll see her later and hand her to her keyworker, crying or not. A quick wave at the door and she's usually stopped crying before I walk out of the gate. She does it when I leave her with my my mum too and has started doing it when I pick her up from nursery!

I find fussing with her just makes the whole situation worse because she gets more upset and it ends up getting me frantic! Just prolongs it for everyone really, there's been some really hard times when she's been absolutely hysterical (usually after a bad night of sleep) but there's never been a day where she's cried all day