TTC #1 Hopeful and Obsessed! lol

[puma1986]

Hooray for temp shift!!! Your BD MARATHONS TOTALLY COUNT FOR SOMETHING!

And thank you ladies. I'm doing much better today!

 

[GoldenRatio]

Ugh im just feeling down and down as days pass by.

I already hate my job so i hav really sh*t day everyday and when i finally go home, my grumpy husband welcomes me waiting for food. He is at home and doesnt eat until i get home. Now that he is jobless, he acts so cheap too. I was tired yesterday and said i cant cook so we went out to eat. Entire time he was grumpy and annoyed that we eating out.

Im just so exhausted to clean and cook, on top of that he messes p the house because he is home all day. I just cleaned the toilet yesterday and this morning it was yellow again because my annoying husband just peed around like a little kid.

Im doing my best so he doesnt feel like he is jobless and im the one working and pregnant. I do everything so he feels better but not working.
So at work, they told me that i can work Saturdays overtime if i need because they heard DH jobless. That was nice of them but DH is angry that i wanna work an extra day.

Honestly i rather work and not see his restless depressed face all day. I should be enjoying this pregnancy but thanks to him i feel miserable. I donno what to do anymore

 

[BabyC4Me]

Golden this is a very trying time for the both of you

Baby on the way.

Hubbie is unemployed. You hate your job. And the emotions are all over the place.

The only way to come to some resolve is to have a conversation with Hubbie about your frustrations and try to hear him out. He's going thru an emotional up and down just like you are. So as a team you have to work it out and be able to lean on each other.

I know the last thing you wanna do is sit and talk to his man becuZ he's gonna b irritable and stuff. But just see where he's coming from and have a healthy arguement. It's okay to feel what you feel ! No one is taking that from you.

But you have to be able to channel those feeling and be able to talk to your partner about it.

Good luck missy !

 

[GoldenRatio]

I tried talking to him, but he denies that he is any different.

I feel like if i end p losing this baby, im gonna blame him and i donno if i can ever forgive him for that.

 

[BabyC4Me]

OH wow. Yea. Please don't think about losing the baby. You and baby are fine.

Hubbie might just be overly sensitive at the moment and doesn't wanna to hear anything about his chance in attitude. How has he been when you talk about baby?

 

[BelleNuit]

Your husband needs to be helping out around the house if he is unemployed. It's ridiculous for you to do all the work. If he is one of those men who doesn't know how to cook then maybe the two of you can do a potluck prep day on the weekend. It could be a fun activity for the 2 of you, and then you have easy meals for the week.

He will feel better once he starts contributing in some way and house work is by no means beneath him

Explain you need to be stress free as much as possible and he can help support your family best by helping out around the house. For now that is his role

 

[GoldenRatio]

When i talk about the baby, he doesnt really listen. The other day i said im gonna go use the doppler and he said why u rushing, u have a scan next week. I said i wanna try it, are u coming. He was watching his show so he didnt come. Later that night he asks me if i found anything. Im pretty sure that explains how interested he is

He sucks at every house work and i feel like when i ask him to do something i have to go after and do it all over again.

He is just going thru a phase and its a really wrong timing.

 

[puma1986]

We are a one income household. My husband's medical issue has made it difficult for him to work, plus my job moves is frequently. I make enough money to pay our bills and occasionally cover other stuff which certainly bums him out at times. But he does the dishes everyday, does everyone's laundry, takes care of our son since he's on summer break, and makes sure I have to do very little. I do go home at lunch and make them lunch and I do make dinner, but he makes sure I'm not killing myself since I'm working fulltime, college fulltime, and mommy and wife fulltime.

You should not accept anything less.

 

[GoldenRatio]

We are a one income household. My husband's medical issue has made it difficult for him to work, plus my job moves is frequently. I make enough money to pay our bills and occasionally cover other stuff which certainly bums him out at times. But he does the dishes everyday, does everyone's laundry, takes care of our son since he's on summer break, and makes sure I have to do very little. I do go home at lunch and make them lunch and I do make dinner, but he makes sure I'm not killing myself since I'm working fulltime, college fulltime, and mommy and wife fulltime.

You should not accept anything less.

Wow you are working fulltime and studying too!! Thats amazing Puma, I shouldnt be complaining

What will you do when u get pregnant and you go for mat leave? We get 55% of our salary here and wont be enuf for us for sure. Hope he finds a job by then.

 

[puma1986]

My job covers 3 months maternity leave once baby is born plus any time off that I am on bed rest. I work for the government and realize how lucky I am. If it weren't for this There is no way we would be trying to conceive.

You are very valid at being mad at DH. Remember communication is key. I wouldn't put up with that. When I didn't work for a year and a half, I cooked, cleaned, did all errands and had dinner on the table every night. Its teamwork. Its taking care of each other. Not working doesn't mean not contributing. It means contributing in other meaningful and helpful ways. You need to express all of this to him and keep emotion out of it. Be logical and kind and tell him it really bothers you. Right now you're body is working harder than it ever has. You need him to be supportive.you are not his mother. He is a grown man. And your expectations are more than reasonable.

 

[puma1986]

Regardless of how comfortable he is with you...peeing on the floor and seat is unhygenic and absolutely unacceptable. If not for you and him, but for your future toddler who is going to put their fingers and hands everywhere.

 

[GoldenRatio]

Regardless of how comfortable he is with you...peeing on the floor and seat is unhygenic and absolutely unacceptable. If not for you and him, but for your future toddler who is going to put their fingers and hands everywhere.

I know, thats why im like mad woman cleaning 24/7 and its exhausting.

I will get 1 year mat leave but i will be paid 55% of my salary, and im not planning to go back to work after the mat leave because i cant leave my kids behind and go work at age 1. Im gonna start up my architectural design company so i can do my drawings at home.

 

[puma1986]

Regardless of how comfortable he is with you...peeing on the floor and seat is unhygenic and absolutely unacceptable. If not for you and him, but for your future toddler who is going to put their fingers and hands everywhere.

I know, thats why im like mad woman cleaning 24/7 and its exhausting.

I will get 1 year mat leave but i will be paid 55% of my salary, and im not planning to go back to work after the mat leave because i cant leave my kids behind and go work at age 1. Im gonna start up my architectural design company so i can do my drawings at home.

That sounds like a solid plan for your future!

 

[Bella12]

It's good to have a plan. I wish I could afford to stay home.

Ugh. My in laws are coming tomorrow. My boobs are big and my gut is fat and bloated. It hurts to zip up my pants. I'm having dizzy spells all the time. (Low blood pressure ) I can eat or drink anything without feeling sick. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh keeping this a secret is going to take some work. AND his side of family can not keep a secret (past experience ). Last thing I need is to tell them and them mc. It would be very bad.

 

[BelleNuit]

Bella I wouldn't want my in laws to know right away either. My MIL has been very pushy about wanting grand kids and it makes me want to hold off just to spite her haha. I know my husband would like to tell his parents right away if we ever get pregnant, so I'll have to see if I can get him to hold off a week or 2. I don't think they would be supportive of a miscarriage. She is a biologist and would probably say something maddening about survival of the fittest

Otherwise my temp dropped quite a bit this AM. But I am at my in laws and had a very disrupted sleep and their house is much colder than mine so I don't think I should trust it. As long as my temp tomorrow is at 36.8 it will still show ovulation for CD12

 

[Bella12]

I completely understand. I was pressured to produce grandkids before I was even married. I made them wait until I was ready. I thought being married and financially ready were prerequisites.

Yes. I tend to have my mc late into first trimester. Last time I was pregnant she said nice things to me in front of hubby but mean of judgmental things on the side. You sure you want to eat more of that. Why don't you eat this instead. B4 we got married she told me that part of being a good wife is keeping a clean house. I should pick up after my husband as part of my duty. He should not be expected to do those types of activities. I let her know early on that when we are married maintaining the house will be a joint job as we will both be working. She means well. Just old school thinking that sometimes drives me crazy. Lol. She still tries to wash and fold his laundry when we stay with them.

I wouldn't trust that last temp. You changed your environment. It might skew your temps.

 

[BelleNuit]

Same with me Bella. They started asking about kids back when I was 21-22 and still had years of school ahead of me, and long before we were married. DHs parents are much older than mine, but its not my fault she waited till her late 30s to have kids. I waited till I was ready. I knew I wanted to start trying at 27.

Thankfully my MIL is not an enforcer of traditional gender roles. My husband works from home and his hours are part time. So he does the cooking and cleaning. I make far more than him and pay the bills. I had always intended to have a good career and wanted a husband who was interested in doing more of the domestic work. I obviously still help out but he does the vast majority of it.

I'm sorry your MIL is so judgmental... unfortunately it seems most are haha. I worry mine will try to undermine my authority if we ever do have kids

 

[puma1986]

I'm always complaining about not having a great family. I don't really talk to my mom - my Dad is... lets not even go there. And my sister and I stopped talking over a year ago. My DH's family is really torn too. Our conversations are more along the lines of "when we have our baby, it's going to be so sad because there won't be a ton of people who are excited". But, I have to admit, as torn as our families are, I'd be livid if some other women felt entitled enough to tell me how to raise my baby. Screw that! LOL I don't envy those situations at all.

 

[BelleNuit]

There will be a ton of people on here who will be super excited when you have a baby puma!!

I'm only 2 dpo and I totally recognize I have only a small chance of being pregnant this cycle, but DH has decided our little cell (if it's there) should be called apple lol. Obviously not as a permanent name, but as a bump name.

Any of you with bumps have a bump name? Those with soon to be bumps or hopeful bumps do you have a nickname picked?

I'm obviously in a weird place at this stage of my ttc journey haha, next cycle I may actually go bat shit crazy!

 

[GoldenRatio]

That's cute! Little Apple

DH calls our baby Hassuni because he thinks we are having a boy and he is gonna name the baby his fathers name so that's the nickname for his fathers name.