TTC#2 and SO EXCITED! join me

[banana07]

Hey ladies, thanks for the welcomes again!

Very excited got my first smiley face on the OPK this morning. Just can't believe it was so sure I had missed it and even took one yesterday eve after cm appeared for first time. Thankfully I bought more in the shop on the way home, wasn't even going to bother testing this morning but did and there he was smiling back at me. Dtd last night and will hopefully tonight but as I said it a little ackward when DH on nights but I'll work it!!! thankfully it hasn't become a chore just yet as this is really our first proper cycle. Just can't believe I had given up and figured I had missed my O only for stumbling across this website and form Wednesday night!!

TMI warning!: I was saying how I noticed the CM because I was so try upuntil and I've seen alot of ye talking about the position of the cervix I think its meant to be lower for ovulating - well when we bd last night I could really feel it up there I wonder was my cervix lower DH said he didn't notice but I could also I was like a river down there def no need for lube!!! Any ideas???

Isaac - yeap ditto on the symptom spotting we only did the bd last night and got my first positive on the opk this morning but spend the night investigating every twing and bat of my eyelids - honestly I got an itchy ankle at one stage in the night and wondered was it a sign!!! - Totally bonkers this stuff!!!

Jess - I too am praying for this month or next - work wise anyway where I work is like a ghost town in the summer say from easter on (easter end of Mar next year). If I were to go out on ML after easter/april would be perfect instead of sitting here in the ghost town all summer and leaving when it starts to get busy in Sept! As for trying for a girl I have heard the boy sperm is faster but the girl sperm lives longer so if you do it close to O the boys will prob get there first but if its a case the egg is not out yet as the girls live longer they will be the only ones there waiting for it but it is fairly risky if you really want it this or next month. My SIL was desperate for a girl but had to go through 4 boys to get her - no matter what you do its always going to be 50/50!!

Mamamac - will def be temping next month if no bfp this month only found out about it last week! and thanks for the advice on the lube but if you see above I don't think I need it!!

Allismommy - I know the devestation and delight of getting an AF all at the same time (I haven't ms or anything) but just when I was trying to get my cycle back to normal last month I was devestated when I got my AF but happy I knew where I was this month (well just about!!) Give it socks this month now!!!

Anyone testing this weekend.... elt???

 

[banana07]

Just wondering how long is Maternity Leave in the UK & US???

I'm in Ireland and its 6 months (on social welfare/top up payment from employer) and you can take another 4 months unpaid with no social welfare and or payment from employer.....

 

[melissasbump]

Oooh Banana, yay for the smiley face, good luck!

Re the chore thing we have BD every night for last 10 bar 1, so we are both rather exausted lol if it doesnt happen this month then we wont start as early next month x

 

[banana07]

Oh jes Melissa 10days straight now I have a pretty high sd but even I would be worn out!! - Well done

I was so sure I was going to O on Tuesday we started on Friday and Saturday thank god DH got his period and was cranky and grumpy all Sunday and Monday so we didn't and I had given up that I had missed it for Tuesday and Wednesday. I would be well and truley worn out otherwise!! I think we'll just manage this full weekend now still rage that he's on nights but could be worse i've heard some of the ladies on here talk about their DH being away altogether during O!!!

 

[melissasbump]

Yes i was thinking i was gonna O a few days before i did actually, but hey ho, will know for next month, its all a learning curve! xx

 

[ooSweetPea]

Banana in the US you generally get 6 weeks UNPAID unless you have sick/vacation time saved up or in very rare cases, VERY rare cases, your employer might have mat leave policy set up so you still get paid (short term disability, etc). No government/social help for maternity at all - the government will protect your job for 12 weeks (they just 'hold your spot' but you don't get paid) however drs generally only sign you off for 6 weeks and its uncommon for women to take more than 6 in most cases.

In other words, our maternity policies are SHIT over here

 

[banana07]

Oh wow Sweetpea - thats mad I cannot believe its only 6 weeks I'm in shock thought it would be the same or more!!

Its standard 6 months here - hardly anyone takes anyless most take more. You have to take 2 weeks before your due date and 4 weeks after at the very min.

No matter how rich or poor you are you automatically get Maternity payment from social welfare - I got €288 (5years ago) and my employer topped up my wages to its usual amount. Then you can take 4 months with no maternity payment from the state but I took just over that. Your job is safe for the whole 10months and you don't have to decide if your taking the extra 4 months or not until a couple of weeks before you finish your official leave. Do ye have Paternity Leave (Maternity leave for the father). I think they have it in the UK now its a couple of days and they trying to get it in here.

Still so surprised about how low it is in the US and tell me I remember at the start of this thread runnergirl saying she had to wait a month to ttc cause otherwise it would cost her $2500 to have the baby in hospital?? Do you have to pay for it over there??? Its free for everyone here no matter how rich or poor you are, You can of course go private and that might cost you a few thousand but if you have private health insurance (prob about 40-50%) its covered under that but there is not difference really just your check up apts are a bit better cause you can choose your doc but delivery is the same just depends how is on duty when you pop!!

 

[banana07]

Just re-read my post when I say I got €288 Maternity benefit I mean per week! not to cover the whole 6months!!

 

[banana07]

Oh and you are entitled to the bank holidays you missed too being of for the year I got an extra 8 days annual leave!!!

Still in shock here...

 

[IsaacRalph]

Yeah that is shite, mat leave in America sucks! I work for the nhs in England , so our policy is quite good, almost full pay for first 6 months, almost is because you don't get your normal enhancements. Then upto 9 months I was getting about £600 not a lot but enough to manage with dh salary! Then final 3 months totalling a year, no pay! I took just under a year off & it was lovely. Dh was entitled to 2 weeks statutary paternity leave, think it was just about£150 a week

 

[Jessicabaxter]

MOrnin ladies I blew chunks lastnight at the smell of pork chops yet still a BFN this mornin wondering if I'm out!

My friend from Germany says the same thing bout maternity leave they get 9 mo and DH gets 6 wks! Must be nice we get shafted in US

 

[ooSweetPea]

No paid paternity leave here either (unless you have a job with super good perks, generally).

Unless you qualify for welfare (don't even get me started on this one...) you have to carry your own health insurance which can be astronomically expensive already (many employers offer it, and if they have over a certain # of employees they have to offer it by law) however the cost of it comes out of your weekly wages anyways. It is even more expensive to have private insurance if you aren't employed or don't like the plans that your job offers. If you don't have insurance and don't qualify for welfare (gov't assistance) then you have to pay all out of pocket - which as we know can be thousands of dollars from the start of a pregnancy to the finish, and beyond. And even IF you have insurance, some of them don't cover anything to do with pregnancy, or you have to have it a full 12 months before falling pregnant, or you have to pay even higher fees on top of the regular insurance rate to have a 'maternity rider' added on.

Where I live I have what is considered fairly 'good' insurance through my job and I still have a $3000 deductible PER YEAR before my insurance will pay for anything besides preventive care (well child checks, one healthy adult visit per year for me, one gyn visit for pap, etc). My job puts $1500 in an account for me to dip into to pay the deductible and I have extra $ taken out of each check to add into that account so that I will reach the $3000 for that year in case I need it, and it rolls over each year which is nice that I don't lose it.

The crappy thing is that it goes by calendar year so Jan 1st it will all start over... so if I fall preg soon and need to get my cerclage placed this year (done around 13 weeks, and will be more than $3000 dollars) and have baby in 2013 I will end up passing the $3000 for two years in a row, which sucks! DH and I just figured 'oh well' though... who knows when it will happen anyways and we will just have to save a little extra if we fall soon to cover the deductible for the labor and delivery.

It all just sucks!!

 

[elt1013]

Myself and my husband are what you call "insurance poor". We pay out so much insurance, between house, cars, health, and life, that we are poor. If we didn't have to have so much insurance, we would be great. Maternity leave policies here suck and reading the other posts, makes me want to move!
this morning ladies, but I shouldn't have thought anything else at 8dpo and only holding my urine for 3 hours (woke in the middle of the night to pee). I should start spotting today and AF tomorrow though, so I thought maybe I had a chance. Only a 9 day LP which also makes me nervous. If no spotting today, I will test again tomorrow.

 

[ooSweetPea]

elt - 'insurance poor' is a perfect description of my life too! With an old truck, a newer car, an OLD motorcycle, house, life for 2 people, health for 3 people... I cannot even fathom what I would do with all that extra money each month! We would be rolling in it, eh???

So sorry to hear of the BFN but you are totally still in. Everything crossed that your spotting stays away and AF is taking a hike.

 

[banana07]

Well thats a bit of an eye opener how different it is in the 3 countries!! Wow!

Elt wouldn't worry to much about the BFN as you said its only 8dpo. Have you any signs of AF arriving do you usually?? with DS i tested the day my period was due and nothing then tested 5 days later and bang there it was - I was on the pill the whole time so was as regular as clock work so when I was due back on the pill after the 7 day gap I knew I had def missed it. Do def test again and make sure you use your FMU even at 7 days late my second test said no cause my urine was so diltued but the first one was a very very strong line... Also what tests are you using???

 

[charlie1983]

My last period finished on the 16th may ive taken at least eight pregnancy tests which all came back negative. I have been feeling nauseous loss of appetite and lost five pounds in weight without trying. I have been having period like pains and feel bigger in the stomach but don’t look fatter. I feel like someone is pulling at my stomach from the insides. Am also having trouble sleeping at night . I went to the doctors twice and explained my symptoms he cant do a blood test till I get a positive pregnancy reading. A few months ago I had hormone tests done which all came back negative as I had other concerns so I know I don’t have problems in that area.

I was on the pill over a year ago my periods returned a month after and I continued to have regular 28 day cycle periods until two months ago. Me and my feller have been trying for a baby after I stopped taking the pill. Ive never been pregnant so I don’t know what to expect am very confused as I don’t know what’s happing to my body my head is saying am pregnant as I am desperate to have a child what is really annoying more then anything is not knowing. I have been reading some cases about the HCG hormone not showing in a home pregnancy test and even blood tests.

I am at my wits end I don’t want to wait for a positive reading because if I am pregnant I could be at least ten weeks pregnant. And if I am I need to know if my baby is growing ok I don’t know what do to .I thought about going to hospital and saying am having stomach pains and think am pregnant but the pregnancy tests are showing a negative reading. And the doctor not doing a blood test and am worried because this don’t feel normal I think I might be wasting there time if I went to the hospital.

 

[sla545]

Hello CD 1! AF showed her face today. What a day today has been for me....Flat tire, ran out of gas, bank is holding my check instead of giving me my money, bleach spot on new fav pants... ugh!

How is everyone. Anyone wanna give me some tips when you ahve a short LP? I think my luteal phase was 10 or 11 days.. Do you count luteal days from the date you ovulated to the date you start...or the day after you ovulated?

Im wondering if it is because of your m/c? Have you always had short LP? I have read that it can take a cycle or so to get back to a normal cycle after AF. If it continues, you can try taking B6 and using progesterone cream.

 

[MamaMac123]

Morning ladies! Love the chat happening in here. US health care and mat leave is a joke! I'm from the states and while I always knew it sucked I had no idea just how bogus it was compared to everywhere else until I left! I live in Canada now as DH is Canadian. Here you get up to a full year of paid mat leave (not fully paid but still, paid something!) and it can be split between parents so DH can take time off too. Theoretically we could take 6 months off together. I'm a nanny though so while I can take the year it wouldn't be realistic to expect the family I work for to my hire a new nanny for a full year. I'm hoping the family lets me keep working for them when baby comes and I could have the best of both worlds and work and get paid but still technically be a stay at home mom. DH and I will hopefully take a couple months together.

In terms of health care, in Canada most is covered. If you have a health card pregnancy and labor expenses are all covered. And midwives here are covered even without a health card.

To all the girls in the states I really recommend getting informed about pregnancy and labor in other countries vs the US. I had no idea how bad it is there until I started researching. I recommend seeing the documentaries The Business of Bring Born and Pregnancy in America. When you hear how crappy our numbers are for c sections, mother and infant death rates, episiotomies, etc compared to everywhere else you'll be horrified! You'd think in the US with all the technology we should have the best rates! So stupid!

Blah, there's my rant. I feel so strongly about all this though. I'm a girl who grew up never doubting I'd have the epidural and after becoming informed I'm set on a natural home birth with a midwife! Haha Total 180!

Anyway, onto lighter topics, I'm really curious....since BD I such a huge part of ttc (duh!) lol I'm curious, of you guys and your DH's whose got the higher sex drive? I guess it's total cliche to think its mostly the guys. I always assumed that's how it would be then I married my DH and it's definitely me haha We dtd pretty regularly even before ttc but I know it's him keepin up with me :hehe: So just wondering if that's normal haha My bad was that I married an older guy so he always says he's old and tired lol.

In my ttc land, temp dropped even MORE dramatically today to the lowest yet! Could be partially environmental as outsid temp dropped significantly last night and w have a window fan but still. It was pretty big drop and it wasn't colder than it was in the first month of this cycle when temps were higher. My body is so screwed up!

 

[sla545]

Oh yes, healthcare in America is scary. I actually work for one of the few GOOD health insurance companies, and I see the best side of it, but the system is broken overall. The insurance offered at work is very good for the premium and deductible and out of pocket are lower, but we actually have insurance through DH job. He is part of a union at work, so the benefits are good and premiums are a bit lower than what we would pay at my work. I think we are looking at paying approx $2500 out of pocket to cover birth and baby costs. That includes the deductible and then the out of pocket (like 20% of the bill). Thankfully we both have good jobs and will have no problem paying that. Im just grateful we can at least (hopefully) have a baby without the extra cost of assisted conception, because then I dont think we would spend the money if we couldnt do it without help.

 

[sla545]

So today is CD14 for me. I was expecting to O today or tomorrow. (I am so thankful for regular normal cycles!!!) My OPK have gotten darker over the last day but i did not get a positive until this morning. I do think I will O sometime later today though as my temp dropped about .5 a degree this morning. It has been very normal this cycle and has not gotten even close to being as low as it was today. We BD last night and two nights ago. We will BD for two more nights and then take a break for a day or two. Then when we BD the rest of the cycle the pressure will be off and it will just be for fun! I am really feeling good about this cycle and hope it is the one. I stopped charting CP as I didnt feel like it really helped me anymore than BBT, CM and OPK did. It just didnt add anything extra to the mix, so one less thing. I started taking Vitamin B6, Prenatals and Vitamin C this cycle. I already take loads of Vitamin D (50,000IU every other day) as my levels have been tanked because of my thyroid issue. Hoepfully it all comes together this cycle and we get a BFP!!