TTC #2 is taking over my life

[flipbabies]

Ok, so I apologize for the following rant...

I never imagined it would take us so long to conceive. I never knew you had to try so hard for anything in your whole life. And after a year of TTC #2...I can say that TTC has taken over my life! And I don't like it. I feel like I'm missing out on my life because I'm putting so much pressure on myself. "Gosh the gap between my 1st and 2nd (if it ever even happens) is getting so big!" "We WANT a big family...we just don't know if it will happen", etc. Every month is a huge letdown and somehow I still try.

Each month I miraculously convince myself that this is it! This is the last month I'll have to feel this disappointment. This is the last time we will BD just because I'm ovulating. This is the last drink I'll have for 9 months...you get the picture.

I know it's all worth it because, hey, you get a beautiful and healthy baby at the end of it. But why must it be so hard? Especially when we want it so bad? I just can't make sense of it. Especially not today.

I know these emotions of disappointment and frustration will pass but today I just needed to vent, so for whoever found their way here and is reading this, thanks for listening. And my heart goes out to anyone who is going through difficulty TTC, I never imagined I would be one of them.

 

[lisamfr]

Hi Flipbabie,

I know how you feel. My husband and I wanted our children to grow up close together. I have a 13 month old girl & we have been trying for four months now with no luck. Its very frustrating!!!

wish you all the best.

 

[rihanna]

flipbabies you took the words out of my mouth....really i could have said the exact same thing.

August is our 12 month trying too and its getting so hard. for the same reasons you said above.

Dont really know what to say apart from your not alone and i hope you get your soon

 

[Oceangirl182]

My son will be 5 in sept. We live in Utah and if u have 3 kids you have a small family, 5-6 kids is the norm around here. Me and my 3 best friends had our 1st together within months of each other! I was the one ready for #2 when my son was 6 months old. Well needless to say #2 has been a long journey and my two friends are all on their third kids who are already 1. I feel guilt for my son being alone. I did chloride for 5 months, now on my first cycle of femara 5mg. Ugh when will it happen? I understand your feelings

 

[kel21]

I have been ttc #2 for 5 years and 2 months now. I know exactly how you feel! All I can say is, the experts say that the bigger the difference between #1 and #2 the better off they are! Since you won't be in survival mode (2 kids in diapers, potty training, sleep training, ect...) you have more time to devote to proper speach, math, manners, ect... That's the sort of thing you find to make yourself feel better! Gl!

 

[soozandlily]

I worry about the same things all of the time and pretty much feel exactly the same as you do at this point in time. My DD is 5 on 2nd Nov and we have been actively TTC for 8 months now but have had a mmc prior to TTC in Dec 2009 when my DD was 2. That pregnancy was a surprise, whereas we TTC for 9 months with my DD and prior to her we had another mc and again that was a surprise too. It annoy's me that when we don't try it happens but when we try it doesn't. I keep saying well ok 'we won't try' but obviously we are still having unprotected sex so we are still trying... i'll still think about it 24/7 even if i'm not keeping track with OPK's, infact i'd probably be worse than I am now lol

good luck to all us ladies though hopefully our wait isn't much longer!

 

[soozandlily]

I have been ttc #2 for 5 years and 2 months now. I know exactly how you feel! All I can say is, the experts say that the bigger the difference between #1 and #2 the better off they are! Since you won't be in survival mode (2 kids in diapers, potty training, sleep training, ect...) you have more time to devote to proper speach, math, manners, ect... That's the sort of thing you find to make yourself feel better! Gl!

Wow, I really hope you get a BFP soon! I'm curious, if you don't mind me asking, how long did it take to conceive your 1st?

 

[flipbabies]

thanks for everyones support!! this was written on a really down day, and although i still feel all those things...im trying to input in power of positive thinking into my brain. lets see how well that works, right!?

anyways, im so sorry that each of you are going through something similar...this is definitely the most trying thing we have ever been through! im sending you all hugs and wishing for for all of you! keep in touch xxo

 

[kel21]

I have been ttc #2 for 5 years and 2 months now. I know exactly how you feel! All I can say is, the experts say that the bigger the difference between #1 and #2 the better off they are! Since you won't be in survival mode (2 kids in diapers, potty training, sleep training, ect...) you have more time to devote to proper speach, math, manners, ect... That's the sort of thing you find to make yourself feel better! Gl!

Wow, I really hope you get a BFP soon! I'm curious, if you don't mind me asking, how long did it take to conceive your 1st?

He was a total surprise! I had been off of b/c for 5 months and there he was!!

 

[Vici]

Big hugs hun, i could have written your post myself. We started trying when my DD was born (after it took 2 1/2 years to conceive her) but she is 3 next next and all i do is work out how old she will be if it ever happens. Didn't think i'd be so bad with number two, but i am!!! xx

 

[ttc4two]

I'm in the same boat as flipbabies too.. this is my first time posting to this site and it was a comfort just reading thru the different posts. We have almost a 4yr old and it took us over 1.5 yrs to conceive him.. and then we were ready for #2 and it happened on the first try and we were over the moon.. 8 weeks later I miscarried and was devastated. We've been trying again ever since and this past June was a year. we've gone thru all the testing and basically comes back to unexplained infertility. Now my husband wants to stop trying b/c he's getting older .. but i want to keep trying .. so that's adding just more stress/pressure and each month I get my hopes up and each month I'm devastated.. I can't figure out how to relax enough to hopefully just let it happen.. who can relax?? thanks for listening (or reading in this case) .. good luck to all in the same boat.

 

[XfairyhopesX]

I could of written this post, aiden was 4 months ttc (only 2 properly) and this is now nearing 9 months for #2.. every day i think something diff, did my c sec damage me. Aiden will be a spoilt only one. The list goes on and every month it feels less likely its EVER going to happen. If i hit a a year and go to the docs i will be devestated for fear of what they may say
I am all out of ideas we have tried everything, i hate ttc xxx

 

[ttc4two]

I agree.. I've tried everything too including all the different ways to track OV and it's exhausting. I've gone as far to make an appointment for acupuncture just to see if that helps but this whole thing is an exhausting process. I actually was a little more hopeful the last few days but took a home test and it's still negative.. so I'm trying to face the reality of my son being an only child and letting go of the possibility of having another. I never thought it would be so hard and thought I would much more willing to accept things as they are after having so much trouble ttc with my son. But I guess there's something to be said for being happy with what you have.. who knows.. fingers are still crossed

 

[Mummy_2_One]

Flipbabies I also could have written your post myself... I was just telling DH last night that I feel like the whole TTC process is overwhelming and consuming me and that I don't feel like I'll have me life 'back' until we're pregnant with a healthy bub.

I also keep thinking about the gap between our DD and a second one and that makes me upset too.

I don't have anything really positive to say to you today (AF just arrived this morning...) but I just wanted to add that yours are my thoughts exactly.

I hope you get the baby you're dreaming of soon xx

 

[Ali33]

I am so feeling the exact same way today.. Been trying for 9 months. I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this..

 

[lisamfr]

I am so feeling the exact same way today.. Been trying for 9 months. I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this..

Ali33 are you trying for TTC #2?

 

[Little_Ratbag]

Hi ladies, so good to hear others are in the same boat. I am often having to pinch myself that I am truly blessed to have one miracle and really need to relax about when the next one arrives, as you can see from my sig, I am really hoping this will happen soon. Sending you all baby dust, and have everything crossed for your BFP! ��������

 

[rihanna]

Just come across this thread again. Any BFPs to report? xx

 

[Mas1118]

hello Ladies, I feel the same - I have been ttc#2 for so long now I am not even sure how many yrs altogether - at least 5 or 6 and it has been a long heartbreaking journey. Today I woke to AF and I just feel broken. I think I may be just torturing myself every month that I will actually get a BFP and end up with another child, it seems pretty out of reach right now. I am not sure how to stop though, I have been trying for so long I am not even sure what to do except TTC. I love my DS very very much, he is the light of my life and should be enough. Is is wrong to want more so bad that it takes over your life. Im pretty down today so I am sorry for the negativity.

 

[Mummy_2_One]

hello Ladies, I feel the same - I have been ttc#2 for so long now I am not even sure how many yrs altogether - at least 5 or 6 and it has been a long heartbreaking journey. Today I woke to AF and I just feel broken. I think I may be just torturing myself every month that I will actually get a BFP and end up with another child, it seems pretty out of reach right now. I am not sure how to stop though, I have been trying for so long I am not even sure what to do except TTC. I love my DS very very much, he is the light of my life and should be enough. Is is wrong to want more so bad that it takes over your life. Im pretty down today so I am sorry for the negativity.

Hi Mas.

Firstly I know exactly how you feel. We haven't been trying for number 2 for as long as you have, but I often feel like I'm being ungrateful for the amazing child I have by wanting another one. Like, shouldn't I just be so happy with what I've already been blessed with that she should help ease the blow of how unsuccessful we've been in TTC? Truth is that's just not the case (which I know you know deep down). I have a desire to be a mother to another child and I believe that either that will happen for me or God will take the desire away. I'm feeling brighter about it all than I was even last week when I first posted in here, and I think that's a bit how our journey goes - heaps of ups and downs.

All I can say to possibly help... Which I've only been able to take on board for myself over the last week or so, is don't let the way you feel about TTC #2 ruin what relationship you already have or would like to have with your son and DH. I'm making sure I enjoy my family for exactly what we are TODAY and letting God plan out what we could be in the future.

I hope you (and all you ladies in here - me included!) can feel some peace about the blessings we all already have, while waiting for another one.