TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[inkdchick]

im trying but its such a nervous time right now and this is my last year of trying as im 45 at christmas and would prefer being pregers now as it would be due on 1st nov as doc was so excited to tell me this morning !, he is excited for us bless him such a lovely guy, which i was as positive about this as he is he seems so sure

 

[Jill72]

Inkdchick - sending lots of good luck your way

 

[inkdchick]

aww thank you hun sorry for late reply i went for a bath , had a bit of cramping since docs and while in the bath i had tugging from belly button downwards and then felt sick so got out lol.

But good luck to you on your donor journey i think its fantastic and i wish you all the best hun xx

 

[Jax41]

Morning! Just wanted to say thank you for the welcome, it's lovely to be part of this thread. Well today is the day when I find out if the old witch has flown off on her broomstick for a nice 9 month holiday, I'm PMAing like mad!!!!!!

Good luck Inkdchick, can't wait to hear more!!

Speak soon Ladies xXx

 

[inkdchick]

aww thank you hun well neg test again thi smorning 12dpo but i have a fluttering on and off behind my pelvic bone so im really hoping that i might be implanting now so in that case im hoping a test will show in a couple of days but will keep doing them til i get my BFP xxx will let you know xx

 

[samiam]

hi samiam better late than never hun, don`t stress i say you only need to catch 1 good egg and i`m sure your not out of them yet , good luck

woah long post over, hi every1 havent been on for a few days ,lots of new faces and a great news heres hoping for for us all , sorry i don`t have many words of wisdom but i wish you all the best in your ttc journey

Thanks Maryanne. Just was put on progesterone today for the next five days to regulate my cycle and then they will do an ultrasound and look at the follicles. So we're making some progress.

 

[Reb S]

Hello ladies,
Good luck to those testing tomorrow - that's you Inkdchick! Now 'cos we've given up TTC for a month and were celebrating Valentine's day today - went to King's Speech, fab - then I had the first alcohol for about 2 years!! Hurrah! love the lovely wine. No testing for me this month, but a lovely hangover in the morning. x

 

[pip7890]

Morning

I'm 10DP0 today (ticker is a day out). Been testing with ICs last few days. All . There was some dark blood in my cm when I wiped yesterday afternoon and a very light cramp but nothing since (I was CD25 of what I expect to be a 29 or 30 day cycle).

Just done another test with an IC on fmu but still a .

Hopefully yesterday was ib and my will be here at the weekend.

Stay away !

Pip x

 

[Jax41]

Morning ladies, how are you all today? Glad it's Friday I bet!!!

Well AF didn't show up yesterday and I'm NEVER late. I don't seem to have a multitude of symptoms other than the munchies and weeing more than usual but that's about it even my (.)(.) don't seem to be as sore as they usually are before AF. I tested this morning (my first ever, have never needed to before!) and it's a BFN. Not sure what to think or what to do now! Any advice and I'd be ever so grateful, thanks!xXx

 

[Tishimouse]

Some of you may remember me from a while ago. As you can see I joined BandB in 2007, at which time I was 45 and TTC #1 (just did'nt meet my Mr. Right until then, hence the delay).

We tried for the best part of 3 years and I decided to call it a day then, as I grew more worried about my age and all the things that enter your head when you think about being "too old" to have children and/or raising them.

So, my point here is that during my last cervical smear test, the nurse found a polyp on my cervix and told me that I should have it removed. I was referred for the first time in my life to a gynachologist, which I realised on arrival at the hospital was something I found quite daunting. I started to worry the moment I set foot in my car to drive to the hospital and by the time I got there, I was close to tears walking past all the signs for "New Born and Neonatal Care". I could only see the pregnant women, their beautiful bumps, radiant faces, holding hands with their partners, small children linking on to their parents. I actually felt like a failure. I was sure they were all looking at me out of the corner of their eye so I imagined myself as a visitor to the Centre, rather than a patient. I sat down, opened my laptop and concentrated on my work, blanking out the happy couples sitting around me. If the truth be known, I felt old, past child bearing age and a failure. This isn't like me by the way, I am normally a really positive person, but I guess not having children is my achilles heel at the moment and a few things that have happened in recent weeks have made me feel this way.

The first was work. I work in a predominently male environment with a few younger women who quite simply would not be the right people for me to talk to about health issues as they are a little too young. I have no friends of my own age who live near me to talk to and my closest friends who do live nearby are currently pregnant. I guess that could be problem number 1 but this is the first time I have admitted to that. Anyway, I recently had an upset at work where my boss acted in such an unfair way towards me, I lost a bit of confidence and ended up a snivelling mess ... not a good thing in my working World as it seemed all the men ran into their corners and ignored me. I had to spend two days with no makeup on as I had cried the lot off and hadn't brought any back-up. Brilliant! You would think I'd haven't learnt the first time it happened. One of my bosses mentioned my hormone levels and my age and although I know I could haul him over the coals for this, I really don't want to highlight my plight with the rest of the company. He actually suggested I speak to a counsellor, telling me that he too has suffered "a mental illness" followed with the words "you are ill". I kid you not!

Now, you would wonder how his words affected me and think they could have been crushing. Nope, not me. They seemed to act like a slap in the face that I needed and made me look at him with pity. What an idiot! I did however make an appointment with my doctor to see what he thought. I explained to my doctor that work was very stressful at the moment. I told him that my boss was having what he termed "a shake-up" with our team and swapping people around. Although this seems to be just ME as I am the only one adversely effected. Everyone else has been given what they want and I have taken a £300 paycut, lost my supervisory capacity and put on a team of brand-new people, rather than working with other experienced team members. This basically means I will be training them without additional pay (I have this qualification and the bosses know it). Oh, and before you ask, aparently they CAN do this.

I also told my doctor about them telling me I was ill, to which he laughed. Even my doctor could see that they were stepping well out of line and he just looked at me with an exasperated expression when I told them about them mentioning my age and hormone levels. They were hinting that I was going through the menopause. So, I asked my doctor for another set of blood tests to test for everying, glucose, hcG, iron deficiency, mad cow disease ............... and guess what? I'm fine. In fact better than fine because this time my hcG showed a fantastically low number of 8. They had been 11 before which is considered perimenopausal. My mood swings my doctor reckons is because I was upset at what my bosses were doing and it took over 2 months for the changes in work to be implemented. I had to work out a 56 day notice period in my original position, so there had been a big build up to the change with me feeling more and more helpless that I could do a damn thing about it.

But, hcG of 8, made me feel good. It also made me wonder if I should have kept TTC for a while longer because I am not really advanced perimenopausal yet. My doctor reckons it could take me another 10 years to come through the menopause altogether.

So, back to the hospital (apologies for the massive sidetrack). I settled down after a bit and noticed the reality of the women sitting around me. They were all ages, there was one girl who looked no more than 14 and a few much older ladies, who were sporting grey hair and an air of elderly confidence. I started to wonder what they were there for and felt a lot better about my little polp. I asked the gynacologist and the nurse if they though the polyp could have stopped me getting pregnant before. The long and the short of it is that they couldn't tell me because it is impossible to say how long it had been there. My last cervical smear test was 3 years ago and it wasn't there then, but it could have developed any time. They were also unsure as to whether a polyp in this position would stop sperm reaching the uterus ... so, no answers there I guess.

The procedure of having it removed was simple. Polyps have no nerve endings, so you can't feel them being removed. The first doctor didn't feel she could remove it, so told me that I would have to have a general anesthetic and a camera (somethingscope) inserted to look at the lining of the uterous for other abnormalities and have it and/or others removed at that time. She said they were send anything away for analysis afterwards to check for cancer. Cool! I thought. No, I actually thought 'holy sh*t'. She went off to discuss it with the Consultant, who came into the room and removed it herself. It took seconds to remove and the relief I now feel is everlasting. No general anesthetic and no polyp. It was about the size of a small short fingernal and it will get sent off for analysis.

I came home from the hospital to find a letter waiting with the result of my smear test. All good. So am hopeful for a good result from the little polyp that's been sent away.

In summary:
(1) I am no longer stressed at work. I am not going insane and my hormones are a lot more balanced than I thought.
(2) My bosses are idiots and my new job is just OK (but that's better than awful). It's not what I want but there is scope to move in the future so I am making the most of the experience.
(3) My smear test result is perfect.
(4) My polyp has been removed.

My advice:
To all you ladies over 35 who are TTC, if you can, ask your doctor to refer you to a gynachologist for a check-up. It wasn't offered to me and I did ask, but it wasn't an option. I think if you press for it, you should be able to get it. Time is really precious when you are over 40 I think and I am sorry I didn't get looked after a bit better for the 3 years we tried. I still feel a sense of loss and part of me believes I could have got pregnant.

Tish

Leaving some for all you wonderful ladies.

 

[truly_blessed]

ar Tish thanks for you're lovely post. You sound like a wonderfully strong lady who'll bounce back from all the work issues and come out the other side the winner in all that nonsense. Who knows, never say never on the child front either, you just never know what's planned for you.

I'm 41 and in the middle of tests and just waiting for a hycosy now to complete the first round but struggling to get it booked in with the NHS. Hopefully I've got the tests doen it time to rectify any issues should there be any.

 

[Tishimouse]

Hello Truly Blessed ... best of luck with your test results. What kind of tests are you having done? I'm all interested now as feel like I should have had all sorts but nobody offered me any when I asked. I think at 45 they just looked at me like I had ten heads. Although my doctor used the positive words ......"when you get pregnant". Imagine if I ended up being one of these women at 50+ with a baby ..... not too sure how I feel about that.

We've stopped actively trying for now though as the stress was too much for me in the end and I felt it was putting a strain on us as a couple.

We're OK with it now, although I still feel like I missed out.

Tish

 

[Spoomie]

Tishimouse

Bless you. Your record on having been thanked is phenomenal and I can see why from your post above. I am 42 years 'young' with a 2 year old and have recently suffered a 12 week m/c. Besides my sadness for my lost little one I was frantic and thinking my last chance had just gone. However, I have started seeing a herbalist who had a baby in her late forties and has treated a lady of 49. We DO have longer than the media would lead us to believe but it is important to be proactive in seeking help and hopefully your post will remind people of that. Thank you xx

 

[Reb S]

Hi everyone,
Tishimouse - thanks for your post - wish I'd had that advice when I was 35 - I didn't get sorted out till 38/39.
Jax - mine was late for the 1st time last month too - BFN - must be something in the air. Don't worry x
Pip - good luck for the weekend x
Inkdchick - any news?
x

 

[truly_blessed]

Tish - i just went to the gp and they referred me straight to the fertility specialist, took about 6 weeks to get an appointment. When I got there they asked a few questions then just booked me on for 'everything' as they put it.

I was on CD23 ish at the time so they did 21 day bloods to check progesterone levels then gave me a bag to take to my local blood centre. I was to go there on CD3-5 I think it was and get more blood done to check FSH levels, the higher the FSH, the harder my body is working to stimulate ovulation. My other half also did a sample which has gone off for testing then it's just the hycosy now to be done when they can fit me in. I need to ring on CD1 and they need to then book me in between CD8 and CD14. They will scan my uterus and then inject a dye which will go into my tubes and show any blockages on the screen. From what I've heard it's like a bad period pain but goes quickly afterwards. They will then give us all the results and we go from there. They mentioned the next step would probably be clomid but I suppose it depends on the results.

 

[Tishimouse]

Thanks for your thanks and compliments ladies. I am looking forward to seeing some positive results here in this thread. There are plenty of good vibes here for sure.

Truly ... I can't get over the tests you are going through .... absolutely awesome and exactly what I think I should have had a few years back. I did have the CD3 and 21 blood tests, which is why I knew my eggs had started to deplete, but read a book called "Inconceivable" which was a success story of a woman in her late 40's who followed a healthy eating, natural supplement, positive mental attitude lifestyle and according to the book lowered her FSH levels. The book is American and a really good read and having read it, I have taken wheatgrass as a natural food supplement ever since. It has huge health benefits whether TTC or not. However, I have mixed feelings about her claims to have lowered her own FSH as now I have had a second test some 2 years after the first, I find my levels have lowered from 11 to 8. This could give me false hope (or other people if they were relying on this figure to help them believe they were producing more or better quality eggs). Reading deaper into the topic, I now know that this figure can fluctuate for years and a woman should go on the highest figure ever recorded in their body to give them as accurate a picture as possible relating to how many and what quality their eggs may be.

Nothing is an exact science when it comes to TTC, but I find myself wondering if at the times your FSH has a lovely low reading of around 8 as mentioned, would your chances be good that month. You can see the cogs are still turning in that mind of mine.

Talks to self: "No Tish, you are 49 next birthday and you are only visitng BandB because it's a habit and you have lots of friends here who you want to see get their BFP's".

And yes it's true ... I do talk to myself

 

[Tishimouse]

Hi everyone,
Tishimouse - thanks for your post - wish I'd had that advice when I was 35 - I didn't get sorted out till 38/39.
Jax - mine was late for the 1st time last month too - BFN - must be something in the air. Don't worry x
Pip - good luck for the weekend x
Inkdchick - any news?
x

Keep going Reb, my SIL has 3 weeks to go before her new baby girl arrives and she is 41. And God, do I wish I was your age, I promise you I would try, try, try, try, try. Think of it this way, I started trying at 45 so if you want to give yourself a boost, just consider having 6 years to try until you reach my starting age. Now I bet you feel better.

In fact, I think all you ladies here should feel better reading that. I just wish there were women here in their 50's who could make me feel a million dollars

 

[inkdchick]

sorry guys im out well and truly bleed heavy this moring with lots of cramping off to docs on tues morn so will let you know xxx

 

[bellamamma]

sorry guys im out well and truly bleed heavy this moring with lots of cramping off to docs on tues morn so will let you know xxx

ahh so sorry indk, we were all pullin for you! but I do think the heavy bleed is a good sign, one of my bfp's was after a heay crampy one, unusual for me. Keep your chin up!

 

[bellamamma]

Hi all, it's always nice to come back on after a couple days and read all the nice posts, and good information!

I do have a specific question, if anyone happens to be using progesterone supps post-ov?? Before I took them as soon as I got a bfp, but I've read it's needed from conception. Question is,though, do I need to stop them to get period??? I remember way back when I was on clomid, and prog, he had me take them days 15-25, but if I am prego, it'll be needed. I did do a test today, and it was bfn (day 26), so don't know waht to do, maybe I'll stop them and see what happens, and if it becomes positive, start again right away?!? arrggghhh how much of this we women have to figure out on our own! I've never gotten a bfp till after my period was due, so it's hard to tell. Anyway, if anyone has any advice, let me know!

Otherwise, I feel pregnant, which is the "fun" my body likes to have with me, esp in the months following a mc. Yesterday and this am, I'm super weak, light-headed and headachy, with aching (.)(.)'s, metal mouth and bad mood. A little worse than it was the last 2 months, but like I said, bfn this am. I don't usually test, but since I'm doing the prog supps, thought I'd better, not that it helped!
I imagine the hormones are still high after a mc, and so it makes PMS stronger or something, anyone else had this? My experience has been, for the first 3-4 months after, am sure am pg, but not. Then, after about 6 months, start to feel "normal" again...let's hope I and everyone else don't get to have any more experiences of this kind!!!
This is too long, so will sign off...needed a sound off!
How are all you???