TTC after a fullterm stillbirth

[charlie15]

We are going to plant a tree at Poppy's grave this afternoon. She's buried at a natural burial ground, so once a year they have a tree planting day. We have chosen a wild cherry tree for her.

That sounds lovely

 

[wildflower79]

We are going to plant a tree at Poppy's grave this afternoon. She's buried at a natural burial ground, so once a year they have a tree planting day. We have chosen a wild cherry tree for her.

That's a lovely idea. Cherry trees are so pretty x

 

[Natnee]

How is everybody doing? Are you still in the 2ww wildflower? I'm now 4dpo, I think, so patiently waiting that out.

Well I know I keep looking for signs, no rainbows this time lol! But the other night I won the raffle at slimming world, and I won a scented candle. It's got a lovely saying on the front 'If you can dream it, you can do it' I know my slimming world leader had a different ideas for that, i.e. to lose weight! But I had a completely different thought about it - a baby! And the weird thing was that I said to myself, 'I really want that candle i'm going to win that' and then she called out my raffle number, was so weird.

 

[LovingAngel]

Hello Ladies,

I am hoping to join your group. I had my angel daughter Ava in November at 25 weeks. This is now our 3rd cycle trying and I am also on 4dpo. I am slightly getting concerned that my temp was only 97.41 this morning. I am hoping that doesn't mean I have I have a lack of progesterone this cycle. What do you ladies think of that? Are you ladies doing anything to increase your chances in landing a rainbow? Hubby and I just want our rainbow before next Christmas so badly.

 

[DrMum]

Hi ladies. I'm sorry to find there are so many of us with heartbreaking stillbirth experiences.

I just wanted to give you a light at the end of the tunnel. Last march our daughter was stillborn at 34 weeks. Her post mortem results took forever ( or so it seemed at the time). 6 weeks after her delivery by c section, I found I was pregnant, and the next day we got her post mortem results which showed an extremely rare heart condition which wasn't there yet at her 20 week scan but had evolved over time causing a heart rhythm abnormality which caused sudden in utero death.

This pregnancy was the longest and hardest 38 weeks of my life.

BUT our beautiful son was delivered safely a few weeks ago and is such a joy. We received such great monitoring, echos, scans the works during his pregnancy. Much harder was the psychological element and learning to control the fears. Once I accepted that pregnancy was never going to be the same for me as for most normal, carefree people, I somehow accepted that there would be things which would just be different for us.

Last week was our daughters first birthday and I must admit I felt quite overwhelmed with how much emotion we have experienced in the last 12 months. But we are survivors and here we are!

I know I'm only one story, but I also remember straight after our daughters birth desperately trying to find stats and stories and experiences to try to help me through another day.

If any of you have specific questions please feel free to PM me and I would love to try to help. Ultimately we support each other through.

Wishing everyone peace in their journey through this unthinkable trauma.

 

[charlie15]

Hi loving Angel and DrMum. I am so sorry for both of the losses of your daughters. Congratulations DrMum on your little boy, I am sure last week was very hard and painful. I too had to have a c section with my Angel, Zoe, I was thinking that I would have to wait ages before I could try again to let my uterus heal. It was my second Csection though and it wasn't straightforward as the were in there for 3 hours, but post op scan showed all is good, no adhesions, all back to normal. Would love to get pregnant again sooner that the year I am probably going to be advised at my de briefing ! At least 6 months.

Natnee, tha candie was meant for you and your very soon to be rainbow baby I hope xx

 

[thumpette]

That's a lovely story DrMum- thanks for sharing! Xxx

 

[LovingAngel]

Dr Mum, thank you for sharing your story. It truly inspires us Angel Mommies who are waiting anxiously for our rainbows. xx

 

[wildflower79]

Natnee, the 2ww has now turned into the 3ww. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant though. I've taken 4 tests this week, the latest this morning and all bfn's. I really just want af to show now - I keep cramping like she's coming, but then she doesn't. I had a cycle in Oct or Nov where I was a week late too. Maybe things haven't settled down yet after giving birth. I think I must have O'd really late and probably missed my bd'ing window altogether! How is your 2ww going? Any symptoms yet? When do you plan on doing your first test?

Hi loving angel and dr mum. So sorry for both your losses

Thanks for sharing your story dr mum and congratulations on your little boy. Some days I get so down thinking that this might be it and I might not even have another child. Then other days I feel so lucky to have my daughter and worry about all the things that could go wrong if I did get pregnant again. It's like a spin cycle of emotions.

Really hoping this will be your lucky month loving angel x. I don't know anything about temping, because I've never done it. I see a lot of ladies on here do and I might give it a try if we don't get anywhere next cycle. I have bought some CB opks which I've never used before, so hopefully they might help. I'm just hoping they help quite fast though, because they cost a fortune!

 

[Natnee]

Some days I get so down thinking that this might be it and I might not even have another child. Then other days I feel so lucky to have my daughter and worry about all the things that could go wrong if I did get pregnant again. It's like a spin cycle of emotions.

I have bought some CB opks which I've never used before, so hopefully they might help. I'm just hoping they help quite fast though, because they cost a fortune!

Thats just how how I feel wildflower. Plus i turned 39 on Sunday so I have a rapidly ticking clock not giving me a lot of time!

I'm now on 8/9 dpo, I'll say 8 to be safe. I did a couple of ic yesterday afternoon and thought could see something, but only holding them up to the light/lamp, but I can still see the lines now (veeeery faint), so not sure if evaps, or if evaps would've faded by now? Did another ic and a superdrug with fmu and can't see anything. I guess it's still a bit early. I have been having waves of nausea over the past few days, and also boobs are LESS hurting than normal in the week up to af.

I've used the cb digital opk, a couple of times. First time oh bought the advanced digi ones and I didn't get on with them, but last time got the normal digi ones and they seemed a bit better, got 2 days of smiley so think I can say when i might of ov.

 

[charlie15]

Ooh sounds exciting Natnee, fingers crossed there a strong BFP there in a few days

 

[wildflower79]

Sounds promising Natnee! Keep us updated on your tests.

I've started spotting this morning, so hopefully af has finally arrived, 10 days late! Its been a weird cycle this month.

I didn't buy the advanced opks, because they sounded more complicated and the reviews weren't as good. Did you start using them as soon as af finished? What time of day did you use them?

 

[Natnee]

Ive been poas like a mad woman and just getting bfn, so think the other day was evaps.

The first time I used opk's (2 cycles ago) I just bought some ic. The morning I got a really dark line, OH went and bought the advanced ones and the first day I just got a circle, but I think they all do that as they need a base line to start from. Then the next day I just got a flashing smiley, and then every day til the box ran out of sticks and I never got a solid smiley. SO I was rather confused with when I ov! Last cycle I got a pack of normal digi ones, and got 2 days of smiley faces so I think they seemed to work better for me. I started to use them about cd9/10 I think.

 

[DrMum]

Hope things are going well for you ladies!

I just thought I should maybe have added in that I used the clear blue fertility monitor to conceive my wee rainbow. What was interesting, was that it stayed at high for around a week before I finally got a peak. And it was that peak that I conceived. I've read that a long high is common after a stillbirth as it takes a bit longer to peak and ovulate. I also had one session of acupuncture 2 days before I got my peak.

Not sure if that will help anyone or not, but I thought I'd just add it in

Thinking of you all and wishing everyone wonderful rainbow babies in the very near future.

 

[LovingAngel]

Thanks for the helpful info again Dr Mum! I used the advanced Clearblue Opk this month and I also started acupuncture as well! I'm on CD 9 and praying for my rainbow!!

 

[wildflower79]

Well af did arrive, I was quite relieved in the end. Hoping we'll get luckier this cycle. I think I'll start using my opk's as soon as af finishes, because I'm worried I might miss something!

Have you tested anymore Natnee?

 

[Natnee]

Yes I've been testing like a lunatic all week and right up til this morning with an ic - bfn. Even on a frer yesterday, although from previous pregnancies I would've got a +ve by now. But then later on this morning I get a lovely visit from

So feeling pretty crap. Then I see a lady who I used to work with, when i was at work today, but not seen since before I went on maternity leave (I work in sainsburys in the clothing department and she used to come in to do the jewellery) So she was in doing her shopping and i say hi, she says 'hello how's the bab.. (about to say baby) realises and quickly says 'how are you?' So i just say pleasantries and then rush out to the warehouse and burst into tears.

So now wondering what's up. That was a 26 day cycle, they're getting shorter. I don't know what to so. I used the opk's and thought we'd timed bd ok this month, was feeling more confident. It's 'only' the 3rd cycle this time round we've been actively trying but I turned 39 last Sunday and I'm scared that I'm just getting too old. Is it too soon to go to the doctors?

 

[wildflower79]

I'm sorry you've had such a disappointing and upsetting day Natnee. I still find it so hard talking to people about what happened, especially when you just bump into people unexpectedly.

I don't think 3 months is that long (I know it seems long!) to be trying, so don't give up hope just yet. One of my aunties conceived accidentally while on bc when she was in her early 40's. If you feel like you want to talk things through or get some advice from the doctor I'd make an appointment. I'm sure they will be happy to see you after everything you've been through.

Lets hope next cycle will be luckier for all of us!

I'm on cd 6 now and might try my opk's tomorrow. I need to have a good read of the instructions yet.

How are you getting on Angel?

 

[SanJan]

Hello all,

This is Janaki here. Just wanted to say hi and join the club. We haven't started TTC as such after the loss yet. The Dr had advised for a 3 months break for my body, but more than that I need to get myself prepared mentally before we TTC. I mean, I badly want to have a baby but the journey quite scares me a lot. But, I'm sure my longing for a baby will take over soon and we'll be back to TTC soon. Till then I'm concentrating on weight loss as I gained a lot towards the end of pregnancy due to pre-e. I hope I can hang in here to the discussions till then.

Lots of to all you folks TTC

 

[wildflower79]

Hi Janaki - so sorry for your loss. I think taking a few months out is a good idea if you feel you need to. I started ttc a bit too early after my loss and taking a few months off has really helped.

How is everybody else doing?

I got two days of smiley faces on Weds and Thurs. We bd weds and fri night, so hope thats enough. We missed thurs cos hubby was too tired!