TTC After Loss 2011 BFP!!!

[allmuddledup]

Puppycat

 

[Fallen Ambers]

I copied this from another thread~ I would love to join your group!

Hello Everyone~

I'm so glad I found this site! I've been a lurker for a little while and finally decided to join in. I'm so encouraged by all the positive comments as well as the support I see between members.

Here's a little bit about me:

I just turned 39 last month and DH is 46. We have been together for 10 years now and I have loved every moment of it. DH is such a sweetheart!

We started TTC when I turned 32 yrs and after 2 yrs of trying on our own, we decided to consust a RE. When all the testing results came back, all was great on my end, but DH had low motility and very low morphology. RE said that the chances of us conceiving the "normal" way, was essentially slim to none.
So, we decided to go down the road of fertility treatments.
Our first attempt was just on Clomid, trigger shot and IUI, which resulted in a BFN.
Our second attempt was all injectibles, trigger shot and IUI, which resulted in a BFP.

We found out in March 2007 that we were expecting twins.

In May of 2007, I suffered PPROM, and was put on bed rest.
On June 28th, of 2007, at 24weeks, I went into labor and delivered two little boys. They lived for about an hour and then went to Heaven.

After a long struggle with trying to understand why, going through the grieving period, and finally accepting it, here I am, 4 years later, ready to try once again.

I have an appointment with my RE on July 13th. While I am so excited, I can't help but be scared...I know what's awaiting for me.
The testing, daily injections, daily blood tests, mood swings, stress and most of all, a very strong desire to be a Mom.

While I believe there's no higher title than being a Mom to 2 angels, I so want to be a Mom through and through and have a little one to raise and to love.

Thank you for reading me

 

[poppy666]

Welcome to the thread sweetie and im so sorry to read about your little twin boys, that must of been devastating at 24wks

 

[lilrojo]

welcome to the group, fallen.. the women here are great and have been so supportive.. I hope you can find all the support you deserve.. And I am so sorry about your twins.. that must have been so hard to go through..
A little bit about me for you.. Im almost 25, dh is 25.. we have one daughter who is almost 2.. have suffered 2 mc's since.. one at 12 weeks in nov 2010.. second at 5 weeks may 23 2011..

Puppy I am sorry about the BFN, its still early though.. I got a bfn last month until 12dpo.. chin up, your not out till af shows..

5dpo for me.. testing monday at 10.. if bfn again on wed. at 12.. so we will see.. fxed for us all..

wahoo all fxed for your early healthy eggy..

 

[Kaede351]

Hey girls, hope everyone is ok. Finished my first month of Soy and reeeeally hoping it helps.

Feeling in a very mixed mood today. Excited but a little sad. My aunty has gone to be induced today, so I'm gona have a new baby cousin within the next day or two!!! Excited!!!

However can't help but wish it was me... And feeling quite tearful over the whole thing :/ (any idea if soy has a side effect of making you emotional? I've been terrible since taking them). I feel guilty for not being more happy for my aunty but I am excited about meeting baby Mathew! I really don't know how to feel atm :/

XxX

 

[puppycat]

Hi Fallen, I have seen you around BnB and heard about your twins - I'm so sorry for your losses. As lilrojo said you'll find some good ladies in here and very supportive, there's a few of us still TTC and a few lucky ladies who have conceived and stuck with us.

I'm 26 and DH is 37, we have one healthy and beautiful daughter together and DH has a 7year old son form his previous marriage. We have been TTC since November and have has 2 losses inc one at Christmas about 5/6weeks (EPU refused to scan me and I ov'd really late so not sure of dates) and a chemical in April.

Tested this eve and BFN again, going to use my last test in the morning and then wait until AF comes - I have no doubt she's on her way x

 

[pip7890]

Hi Fallen. Welcome to the group. You're in very good company here. I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I hope that the elusive is not too far away for you.

Sorry to hear you think AF is on the way Puppy.

Fingers crossed for those ladies around the O. for you.

It's been a hard day for me today. It's the 15th anniversary of my first baby's due date. I've felt a cloud over my head all day. I've talked to him (I felt it was a boy) about my other babies. Whilst I wish things could have been different they weren't and this is the life I have now. I count my blessings every day that I have a healthy, happy teenage son now. I know just how lucky I am to have such a miracle in my life.



Pip x

 

[allmuddledup]

Welcome to our group Fallen Ambers. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you've experienced the losses you have. Well done for finding your way back into the TTC saddle. I hope you and DH are able to conceive again without too much hassle. It sounds like you've got a hard job ahead if you. I'm afraid I don't know all the abbreviated terms you've used but it sounds complicated and like you've got a lot to be getting on with. Hang in there.

Kaede, I've read that Soy can make you emotional though it didn't seem to affect me (maybe it's a good sign that you are reacting to it!). Fingers crossed it helps you conceive.

Puppycat, hang in there. it's not over yet.

Thank lilrojo. I'm excited to see what Monday brings for you!

How're things looking for you Dee?

Sending you hugs Pip. I too find it helps to count our blessings when feeling down about our losses.

I think today is ovulation day for me as I've got some serious aches and tendeness in my lower abdomen, though that could be from BD as well. I always get a tender abdomen and pelvic floor right around Ov. I'll know more once the tenderness fades and I get a temp rise. In the meantime, I think we've had some very well timed BD.

Thank you for all the dust and well wishes ladies.

More for all of us. I'm feeling very positive this month. I hope it turns up something gooood.

 

[poppy666]

Good luck AMU

 

[allmuddledup]

Thanks Poppy.

 

[Fallen Ambers]

Poppy666~ Thank you so much for your kind words

lilrojo~ (love your nickname BTW-lil red) I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I so appreciate you telling me a little bit about yourself. That was very sweet. Remain positive and keep believing.

Kaede351~ Do not feel bad about your mixed feelings over your aunt's little one. It's completely normal. I would feel the same way. There's no doubt that you are very happy for her, it's just that you want that same blessing. Don't beat yourself up over it, your feelings are valid. Stay positive.

puppycat~ You are such a sweetie. Thank you for your kind words and your warm welcome. I so appreciate you sharing a little bit of your personal story with me. I'm also sorry that you have experienced two loss. I can only say that it makes us stronger as a human being. I know I have grown from the loss of my twins. I will never be totally healed, but I have grown stronger.

pip7890~ I give you a big hug, as today is a very emotional day for you. I can totally relate. I see June 28th fast approaching and I, as well, will get emotional and will be sad that day. Do you do anything special in his memory on that day? Every year, on June 28th, hubby and I have a balloon release for them. We each hold the balloon, then we say a prayer for them, we tie the balloons together and then release them. I cry all the time, and in my mind, I imagine my boys just grabbing those balloons, laughing and playing in Heaven. It helps ease the pain. Then we go home, and have a piece of cake in their memory.

allmuddleup~ Thank you for your kindness and your warm welcome. I'm so sorry for using all those abbreviations. In order to conceive, we have to go through fertility treatments, so those are some of the terms I used. For example, IUI is for intra-uterine insemination and PROM is for Premature Rupture of Membranes (so I was leaking amniotic fluid). Hope this helps a little bit to clarifying my journey a little bit better. The road of fertility treatments is not an easy one. It is very taxing physically and mentally....but I'm ready to tackle it once again.
I see that you are awaiting for a BFP! I'm so hoping you get it this month! Keeping my fingers crossed~

Many blessings to all you beautiful & strong ladies~

 

[lilrojo]

Thank you fallen.. I think you will fit in this group very nicely.. as your just as wise as many of the other women here.. I have found such comfort here.. I hope your journey is a short one..

 

[xSamanthax]

Fallen, Welcome to the group hun. I hope you get your sticky bean soon and i'm so sorry for your losses

Puppy sorry about your BFN but it's early days yet!

Everyone else sending you lots of !!! I'm really keeping my fingers crossed that this month is your month

 

[Kaede351]

Aww thanks Fallen you're such a sweetheart! I just read aboutyour twins too, sorry for your loss, but you've definitely come out of it a beautiful person so you should be proud

Still no baby cousin here! But I think I'm ok with it all now haha. I've had my cry and I think I've gotten it out of my system (or I hope have lol). Really looking forward to meeting the little man!!!

XxX

 

[puppycat]

Hey ladies



Good luck to you all.

BFN again this morning so I'm very quickly losing all PMA

Going to see Avenue Q tonight so I'm really excited!

 

[joey300187]

puppycat dont lose faith!! ive NEVER got a positive before af due earliest ive ever got one is on the day its been due xx

 

[lilrojo]

7dpo here... just ready to know already..

 

[mami2karina]

Hi ladies! Got my laptop back today working perfect thank God. They had to replace the AC/DC outlet for the charger and the LCD screen. Baby is doing good. Still no weight gain. I've been sick as a dog for 2 weeks now. It's horrible. Not even the Zofran is helping me. I can't believe I'm 23 weeks now! It's going by so fast.
Poppy congrats on your girl! I skimmed through the posts to see what you found out. I'm glad someone got their girl!
But my belly is getting huge. Baby is so active. It's crazy. I feel him down low and up above my belly button. It hurts so bad to bend down to even dry off after a shower or put my son in his car seat. I'm outta breath in no time. UGH. I am ready for the end!

 

[lilrojo]

happy your back mami.. I must admit its hard for me to hear your ready for the end when so many of us here are hoping and praying for it..

 

[pip7890]

Hi Mami. Welcome back.

Pip x