TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

[Left wonderin]

Well its still there this am ( nothing has made it to my underwear ,only when I check cervix ( tmi ) its more a browny red this am . And only tiny bit . I'm going to try forget about it all together today , I'm off to work with tampons in my bag lol......

Becks I am so excited for your doctors visit as ill be going to see one in January and they better take me seriously !!! Lol

 

[Oasis717]

Thanks Regina I hope he's understanding and I'm so hopeful for you, wanted too share a couple of pics latest of Brooklyn and our Xmas tree xxxx

 

[Oasis717]

Xx

 

[crysshae]

He's such a cutie. Love your tree.

Regina - Exciting! I hope you don't need that January appt!

Fi - Good luck! It is crazy how different the pictures are now. It'll be fun to compare to the older kids.

Jo - hope your DH gets home soon.

Addie - Good luck to you too.

 

[Left wonderin]

Becks Brooklyn couldn't get any cuter if he tried !!!! He is amazing !! As is that tree !!!! Wow . I'm putting ours up on Saturday .
Well still spotting only when I wipe and has turned completly brown . There is only a wee bit Am having phantom symptoms of sore blood and cramps lol........ But my boobs do feel fuller . Might all be in my head . Not sure what to think tbh .. Wouldn't it be ironic if I did get a BFP on the month oh got the wobble sand we actually were not trying .
Not going to test till Monday as if it was ib it takes 3 days for hcg to build following implantation . Tonight is only 24 hours . If its not a BFP its a double disapointment no BFP and there is something up with my cycle . I'm 50/50 right now ...

 

[Left wonderin]

Becks can I ask does your spotting stay as just that or get heavier ? Does it come and go ? What colour is it ? Sorry for all the questions but don't want to bank on this being ib and get my hopes dashed . Looking at other explanations and yours just started out of the blue a few cycles ago too so might just be what is happening here too x

 

[Oasis717]

Thanks so much Regina I think that's the best pic dh has taken of Brooklyn! I've always spotted before AF apart from a couple of cycles this past year when I didn't, odd that, but since my teens I've had brown spotting before AF but last few cycles its been red which was unusual for me, I actually had it at 9&10 dpo then nothing at 11dpo and then AF at 12 dpo two cycles ago, all new for me, sorry if tmi but id only get it with a no 2 in the mornings then just brown cm rest of day! But its still my cue for all over, with every pregnancy even the ones I lost I never had a single drop of blood or brown cm nothing, but I know you have so I'm v excited for you!! Xxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Boy your either up really early or really late lol...... Thanks so much for your reply !! My spotting has all but disappeared except for specks of brown tiny dots . I'm so scared to get my hopes up and even allow myself imagine it could be ib . Zero other signs , I think my boobs feel a litte heavier but that could be my imagination . Oh and I had a dream I can't quite remember about 3 days ago that I was pregnant , remember waking up feeling really happy ! So the wait goes on I suppose if AF doesn't arrive ( and that doesn't look likley ) Monday morning will revel all one way or the other !!! Think I'm gonna buy a frer and not use ic so its not ambiguous !! Couldn't cope with a evap right now .

 

[crysshae]

Very exciting!

 

[Oasis717]

I know Regina look at all those crappy ICS I had!!! I'm v hopeful for you, not so hopeful for me lol but v hopeful for you I think this might be it for you I have a good feeling! I was just going to bed lol I know it was a bit late but Brooklyn's ill and didn't go to sleep til 11.30 pm! So wed just watched a film xxx still getting open circles on the clearblue monitor, hate this wait! I've prob got like a week yet xxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Well the gods were conspiring against me today decided ill test in the am with a frer as not due AF till Wednesday , went to not one but two chemist shops today neither had anything but clear blue digital !! Errrr think ill test with my ic in the am . Can't stand not knowing either way ........ Right now I'm defo it will be negative . Spotting has totally stopped now .

 

[Oasis717]

Yeah bit early Regina and you don't want the disappointment! Everything crossed! I'm thinking of giving up if nothing this month, can't take the heartache or the bfn's anymore, I've done nearly 12 months now and I think I'll have to face the fact its not meant to be xx

 

[Left wonderin]

Awh Becks , I'm sorry your in that place at least wait and see what the doc says before making any decisions. If its a BFN in the am which I am expecting it to be its a double whammy !! No BFP plus my cycles have gone weird ! !

Ill keep ye all posted in the am . I'm off Christmas shopping with my sis and mum tommrow up north . Its an annual thing I'm taking Sean as John is working . Looking forward to it

Waiting for a pizza in the oven I'm starving

 

[Oasis717]

Dh wants to keep trying but I've really had enough of the disappointment but he's spoken to me tonight and asked me to give it a couple more months and get some tests done if the doc will so I might give it two more but then I'm done, obviously we won't be preventing but I can't take anymore disappointment after a year. Wishing you SO much luck Regina, so hoping for you that this is it hunni xxxxxx

 

[Left wonderin]

She thanks Becks that means so much . I'm not giving up hope till menapause full force comes lol.... For all of us I kwym about the disapointment though .. It feels like your watching an hour glass and each month the sand gets less and less .

 

[Left wonderin]

All that fuss for nothing I'm afraid . Tested this am BFN .im disappointed but not devastated . Now to figure out what this spotting was all about !! I'm gonna chill out a really enjoy Sean's first Christmas , my first not preg in two years ! In jan ill go get the AMH Testing and a trip to the doc . Hoping AF now arrives when she is supposed to .also wondering if all those pills messing with my cycle so might give them up for now .

 

[Oasis717]

So sorry Regina, it might still be too early though as it can take up to 3 days after ib, id love to be able to keep going indefinitely but its really getting to me and I've felt v depressed this last couple of months and that's not me, its really affecting me and I really don't want it to keep ruling my life so two more months then I'm stopping the temp, opks etc and what will be will be cause trying hasn't done anything to help xxxxx

 

[josie1234]

Sorry to hear this Regina but not over yet.

Becks big hugs. I know what you are saying and I felt better in myself when I stopped focusing on it. It is hard as it becomes your life but it does drag you down an emotional roller coaster but life is short and you have to live it. It doesn't stop you wishing but at least you are getting on with things and it not dragging you down. Xxxxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Becks and Jo I know exactly what you mean , sometimes I feel that ill miss something with Sean who is here because I'm so focused on making another baby . Sometimes it just gets in under your skin !! I'm so so thankful for the family I have I think I need to spend more time focusing on them especially over Christmas . Put a tampon in thinking AF was coming as brown spotting came back but no ... Nothing ..... Come on AF

 

[Oasis717]

Thanks girls, I do feel the same as you both, and I'm so scared that if I do get another bfp it will be another cp, I can't keep stressing all the time so two more months then I'm chucking the thermometer, opks etc! I did however get my first flashing smiley face on my cbfm today indicating the rise in estrogen you get before the lh rise indicating high fertility so try we are lol. Having to take Brooklyn to the docs this aft as he's been unwell and now has red raised spots all over the soles of his feet and spreading to his toes xxx