TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

[Sunshine14]

Hi ladies well I got a bfp (thanks for babydust Dance it must have worked) got a squinter on Sunday and its getting stronger but I just think it's another ectopic or else if it lasts to an early scan it will be a missed miscarriage. I always thought new sperm + new egg = new pregnancy but odds are against it really boo hoo been doing loads of ic's as watching for hcg to disappear ..... anyway sorry for waffling x

Becks how you doing hun? Did you go back to the doctor or EPU? Hope ur body is sorting itself out or u got a bfp hun xx thinking of u xx after my ectopic it took 3/4 cycles to get back on track but B6 50mg plus what's in antenatal really helped xx

How is everyone else?

Dance that is lovely about ur son doing so well - makes you so proud when they achieve something hey x

Josie hope your cycle ends soon if it's a long one x

 

[Left wonderin]

Hi all sorry I've been Mia . Internet is down so only got oh phone and it's such a pain !!! So have I any news ..... Yes I friken do .. I tested on Sunday and got me two beautiful lines 😂 I'll share the pics when internet back . Did a digi to confirm . Oh in shock as we were not even trying !!! I'm so so scared but just taking it one day at a time have to stop my mind doing the what if game . Been to the doc as they need to keep a close eye on my tsh levels.

 

[dancareoi]

Sunshine and Regina, whoo hoo.

Sending loads and loads and loads and loads and loads more sticky dust your ways.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Thanks dance I'm happy to take all that sticky dust !!!!!

 

[Sunshine14]

Thank you dance x

Congratulations Left happy and healthy 9 months to u. What is ur LMP hun?

 

[Left wonderin]

10th June . Are we close ?

 

[Sunshine14]

Hi Left my Lmp is 14th June so we are very close! 😃

I'm trying to work out what to do about early scan as my last pg was an ectopic that reabsorbed by itself eventually - I think they said to go back at 4 weeks (which is now) to make sure it's not in tube but I can't face going for another early scan and not seeing anything at all as will just stress me out - it just seems easier to try not to think about it lol

How are you feeling? Do you have any symptoms yet?

 

[Left wonderin]

I'm feeling terrified sunshine !!! I agree right now its easier just not to think about it .... Ignore its happening lol..... But its impossible !!! Mostly due to the fact I have to go to the loo !!! Knicker watch on in full force in this house lol.... Nothing much in the way of symptoms ... Although I am " feeling " my boobs more today than usual ... Not sore as such but I'd say heading that direction . That's it well apart from a bloody cold ! You ? Have you any yet ? Last time my ms didn't start till around 6-7 weeks . Can't remember about my boobs but do know they were not sore at the start as I was on BOOBIE watch in the Tww as it was one symptom I got in my first pregnancy .

 

[Sunshine14]

Haha I'm on toilet watch as well as keep expecting to get af but I'm (sorry for tmi) just getting green stuff now and then which I think is a sign of high progesterone so hopefully that's a good sign .... as for symptoms my boobs are really heavy and tender - that was what made me test last Sunday just on the off chance & I got a faint squinter - it has got darker this week and is a good enough line now but I keep worrying it's another ectopic. I'm convinced this will be an ectopic / mc as I just don't believe my eggs are any good now! 've been taking coq10 for past 30 days but I don't think that will make much difference ..... It's really awful but after 3cps, missed mc and ectopic I don't feel I can let myself have any sense of excitement whatsoever ........ burying my head in the sand is so much easier!! Lol

Ps on symptoms don't forget every pg is different so don't stress if you don't get exactly same symptoms as last time hun x

 

[Left wonderin]

Hi howis everyone ??? Have we all fallen off the planet ? What is everyone up to ?

 

[dancareoi]

I'm still here!

How are you? Any symptoms?

Becks, where Are you and how are you?

 

[EverythingXd]

Hi ladies, wondered if it's ok for me to join you please?

My background story - I had an ovarian ectopic in January. Had a blood transfusion and lost my right ovary. I thought I wasn't likely to conceive again due to my age and only having one ovary. But I fell pregnant again 3 months later and got my BFP early May just before my 40th birthday. Unfortunately I went for the 12 week scan end of June and I had lost baby at 8wks+5

So, here I am! I think I am in TWW.. this is first cycle since MC. I had really bad pain for half an hour or so 2 days ago with a little light bleed. I usually get some pain with O and read it can be worse after MC so think that's what caused it. DTD only once the day or two before that, but once is all it takes so I'm still in!

Good luck to any TTCers, and congrats to the recent BFPs ladies. Sending lots of best wishes to you all - we can do this! x

 

[Oasis717]

Lisa I'm here, im still really devastated after my 12 week loss I just can't seem to move on it feels like it only just happened despite 11 weeks this week. Af came at last after 10 weeks but has been so bad it's more like my mc bleeds. Still going a week on. I just don't know what to do. I've lost a stone and a half since the MC. It helped me distract myself so I'm back to a 12/14 now which is much much better and I'm less than when I got married. I'm terrified of another loss. I just feel v lost xxxxx
Everything I feel so very sorry for you, I completely understand how you feel. I hope you find comfort here as have we all xxxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Becks I'm so glad you posted and I would love to be able to hug you in real life . You sound so so heartbroken in that post . Your pain is almost tangible . You have been through so much in the last few months its bound to have knocked the stuffing out of you . I know your not ok but one day know that you will be . Till then do whatever helps you get through each hour / day without apology to anyone . Do what you need to to heal . There is no time limited . I'm hear for you xxxx

Everything I'm sorry for your losses , sounds like its been a rough journey for you too . Your very welcome to join . Its a wonderful thread with lots of support xxx

 

[EverythingXd]

Thanks for the warm welcome ladies.

Oasis - I am so sorry for your losses, you've suffered so much over the last few years, thank goodness for your little man! You have to grieve, and in time you will start to feel better little by little.

I seem to do my grieving in a short sharp burst and then I try to focus on positive things, either my 2 boys, or (in this instance) the fact that OH has agreed we can now TTC properly until DS2 goes to school, or that I've at least managed to conceive with one ovary so it is possible again. I would find it much harder to accept what has happened this year if I thought that was the end of my baby journey. I love my life and I'm so grateful for what I have. I am too stubborn to give up on a 3rd baby though.

It's early days for me and I still have moments where I think about what stage in pregnancy I would be with either of my losses... or something on TV reminds me... or some insensitive friend posts on Facebook whinging about pregnancy ailments (oh, my heart bleeds ). We have to stay strong and hope for a beautiful healthy baby in our future.

Blimey, sorry another epic ramble!!

 

[dancareoi]

Hi all,

Becks I would love to be able to give you a big real life hug. I know the pain you are feeling right now, that's how I felt in Jan 2012 after my LO was born sleeping at 13-14 weeks. The pain is unbearable and I felt so low, sad and totally devastated.

But that old cliche of time being a great healer comes to the fore. It will take time, for me it was a case of 2 steps forward, 1 step back. A real slow healing process, but very very slowly you move on. But, as you know, things will never be the same. I still cry every now and again for my little baby, I don't think that pain will ever go, you manage it and try to look forward.

I think you need to see someone, probably your doctor, to get a referral 1) to see a miscarriage consultant and 2) someone who you can speak to about your losses.

Have you tried the miscarriage association? If you google them their details should come up. I never got that far, but if you rang them, someone on the other end will be there to talk to you, someone who knows only too well your pain.

Look after yourself, lots of big hugs are being sent your way xx

 

[Oasis717]

Thank you ladies it really does mean so v much. In the past I've been able to somewhat overcome the losses and carry on but I just feel stuck in time and in so much pain to the point I can't even begin to think about the loss. I've never felt like this before I'm waiting on my app to the rmc Lisa but it's a 4 month wait I really do appreciate all your kind words it means the world xx

 

[josie1234]

Becks I am sending a big virtual hug to you hun. I hope that you get some answers. Not good having the long wait but hopefully will be worth it. I know that all you want to do at the moment is keep yourself to yourself and nothing can lift the dark cloud but I hope it isn't too long before there is some light on your life xxx

 

[EverythingXd]

Oasis (Becks?) you have been through so much, I feel so bad for you. There's no right or wrong way of dealing with it... I almost feel guilty for having "moved on" so quickly, like there's something wrong with me. The more recent MMC definitely hit me worse emotionally than my ectopic, because I already loved that baby and we had started planning for our future, looking at bigger cars etc. I think perhaps that is similar for you as to why your MMC has hit you harder. I really hope you start to feel better soon. Do you talk about it in real life or do you prefer not to?

 

[Oasis717]

Jo thank you it means so very much to have your support and know you are all thinking of me xxx
Everything yes it's Becks there's def nothing wrong with you we all grieve differently and in the past I've coped better with some losses than others but I never had scans then or saw the baby, the only other time than this last loss I saw the baby and heartbeat was my son Brooklyn so when I saw my lo and a strong hb at 6.5 and 8.5 weeks I really thought all would be ok, the sonographer was so positive telling me there was a v v slight chance all would not be ok. I really thought we would make it and was so looking forward to the 12 week scan. I've only told one friend irl so no I don't talk about it only on here, dh deals with it by not talking about it and tbh it's just too painful for me too, I just feel stuck in time xxx