TTC related ~ can a admin/mod help? - think a new section is needed

[Nolly]

you see I understand how you must feel in your heart, as i even see things on tv simple things like putting toddler to bed and them saying 'night mummy' to crave that and ttc your first must be so difficult at first and I know most ttc number 1 are kind to us trying for more, Its just theres a few that find it hard to see us in forums upset about cant concieve number 2 number 3 etc and they sometimes cant hold back how they feel which is there choice and there pain and they have rights to say how they feel, however now i feel like when im having a really bad day i feel i cant post a thread as I be hurting others as they cant even have there 1st.

I dont know how they feel as my 1st was a suprise to me, so i dont know how it feels to actually try for your first, but they also dont know how it is and how i feel trying #3 so no-one as right to judge anyone.

You are so right.... No-one has a right to judge anyone but unfortunately some do. I think the major issue is a lack of empathy. Some people are unable to put themselves in another persons shoes. I know how desperately I want to be a mother. I want it so bad it hurts but just because I feel so strongly doesn't mean that others don't want it just as much or more even.
It is that inability to see things from someone else point of view that causes friction (in real life too).

In Ireland we call them Me Fein'ers (Means Myself). Its all Me Me Me. Nobody hurts as much as them. Their problems are always bigger and better than yours.

No matter what you are going through there will always be someone in a worse off position than you but that doesnt make your pain any less. You rant away and if anyone has a problem with it then its their problem not yours.

F**k the begrudgers!

 

[OMGtryingfor3]

you see I understand how you must feel in your heart, as i even see things on tv simple things like putting toddler to bed and them saying 'night mummy' to crave that and ttc your first must be so difficult at first and I know most ttc number 1 are kind to us trying for more, Its just theres a few that find it hard to see us in forums upset about cant concieve number 2 number 3 etc and they sometimes cant hold back how they feel which is there choice and there pain and they have rights to say how they feel, however now i feel like when im having a really bad day i feel i cant post a thread as I be hurting others as they cant even have there 1st.

I dont know how they feel as my 1st was a suprise to me, so i dont know how it feels to actually try for your first, but they also dont know how it is and how i feel trying #3 so no-one as right to judge anyone.

This is my issue here. I DO know how it feels to try so very hard for #1. The disappointment the wondering the constant struggle. I remember it so well and the sad part is now that we want to try again I know I am faced with the same struggles. It took us 22 months to conceive our first so I know it all to well and can relate on that level to those TTC#1, just because I now have 2 children doesn't make me forget about what we all went through to get them.

Everyone feels alone even on a board with so many people going through the same thing. It is hard to not butt heads when there is so much emotion and hormones in one area. I think a little bit of separation is a perfect idea and that way there is no toe stepping and no matter what you are struggling with you have a "safe" comfortable place to vent, cry and scream about it.

 

[StirCrazy]

Still thinking about this (been too busy recently to make a decision). I think if we were to do it, it would only be a sub forum in the main TTC forum as we wouldn't want to exclude anyone TTC#1 / feeling like they can't join in with everyone else (if they want to).

 

[Gemmamumof2]

thats brilliant i dont want to ot include anyone... and will only be for questions and talks to others that understand.
be be honest its more for the peeople who feel upset when they read about people ttc more thhan 1 etc. just want to feel i belong somewhere x