U.S. Mommies To Be

[lisaf]

Hey southerngal! Glad the site was helpful... I often like to read through the other posts on there.
Half of it is scary how much employers try to get away with.. the other half can be almost shocking what employees think pregnancy entitles them to
It really made me appreciate all the great things California has set up, and feel horrible that most of the country has very few job protections. Makes me super jealous of the UK and Canada girls though!

 

[southerngal2]

Thanks for the support guys!

I've just sent an email and will see what happens.

On a happy note, I go see my Dr on Monday and we will schedule an ultrasound!
Can't wait to see if I'm having another girl or a boy!

 

[MrsWez]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this southerngal. I hope all goes well. Congrats on finding out the sex. I can't wait to find out what Peanut is.

 

[MissFox]

Your situation is so infuriating! I hope everything works out for you!!1

 

[southerngal2]

Thanks.

 

[lisaf]

Grrr... I hate dealing with payroll!!! Have an employee who just now noticed his SSN was wrong in our payroll records for the past 2 years
Also... California law is pretty generous to hourly, non-exempt employees who travel... my boss is mad that this person is going to get paid all kinds of overtime. Don't get mad at me or the state... you're the ones who let her refuse to be salaried, paid her a ridiculously high hourly rate, then decided to send her on an international business trip that requires 24 hours of travel time to get there and 24 hours to come back
/rant

Is it time for maternity leave yet?

 

[southerngal2]

Ha Lisa! Almost maternity leave time! Hang in there babe!

 

[JNA]

When is everyone taking off for maternity leave. The dean contacted me to congratulate me for making the deans list last semester and asked when I would need to take off for maternity leave. I had no clue I could get time off

Bad news OH will not be present for lo's birth I really hate how the government treats people sometimes. Now im not as excited about the birthing experince and the fact that he wont be back till 6 weeks after my due date. I think im the only women in the world who hopes baby stays in till 42 weeks.

We dont get treated fairly because we are not married and its not fair that we have to rush into marriage for him to be there for one of the biggest days of our lives together.

 

[MissFox]

jna- sorry to hear that. I think that's one of the reasons we rushed (not that I wasn't worried about him being able to make it, but I wanted him to have a say and have a legal stand) to get married before the baby was born. We were engaged already and sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing. I love him but we fight more now that we're married (weird, huh?). Nothing has changed in our lives but when were stressed we do yell more and argue more.
I hope that there is a change in plans and your OH gets to be home for the birth (thinking positive can help, right?!)

 

[lisaf]

Miss Fox - fighting isn't always a bad thing. Its how you fight. Perhaps being married has made you guys less polite since you know the other person can't just walk away if you say what's on your mind? I think its worse if a couple never ever fights than if they disagree, or even shout, but do it in a way that isn't hurtful to each other, is constructive, and is always respectful of the other's feelings.
DH and I don't always agree and we get pretty mad at each other over stuff, but we always talk it through and always listen to the other person's side etc.
Having grown up with divorced parents, I know they way they fought and know that what DH and I do is totally different!


As for maternity leave, I want as much time after the baby is here as possible. I only plan on getting off work before my due date if I'm medically disabled in some way (not totally unlikely with the pelvic pain I already get). My work is willing to grant me more time off after the birth and will even pay me for some of it! I may be able to get 3 months after the birth which will be great.. and if I can get a few weeks before the birth, thats great too.
I can phase back into work slowly too.

 

[MissFox]

Right Lisa- we only get loud and yell here and there and we do a lot of "talking" about our issues before they become something bigger. We're really big on communication and both try our hardest to keep that open. We're actually looking into couples counseling to try to help with this too.
I've grown up with my mom and she has always been poor at communicating with her partners and I've seen relationships work better when issues and problems are addressed and that's what DH and I both want.
I don't think it's so much that it's because we got married but more because he's been out of work for a while waiting for his 3rd surgery- which he got in October. He however hasn't been able to return to work and he has applied for SSI (used all his state disability) and we're waiting for the answer on that (within a few weeks I hope). His physical therapist said that they can work to build strength in his shoulder but he's still going to need another surgery to correct the problems. It's all just frustrating. Sorry for the rant. But I'm really hoping that counseling will help us out and that we get an answer soon because I'm cutting back on work at the end of Feb but wont be able to afford to do so if there is no other income. BLAH!

 

[lisaf]

wow miss fox thats a LOT of stress! The healthiest of relationships struggle with either job loss OR medical disability.. you're dealing with both!
Sounds like you have a good relationship though and counseling is a great idea! So many people wait until its too late to get help.

 

[MissFox]

It's definitely been rough. It causes a lot of tears but he's really supportive and I try my hardest to be of him. We really need to hear from them by the end of February or else he's gonna have to say screw the past year of backpay and go get a job so that the house can continue to function while I'm off work to take care of hte baby. He suggested counseling one night while we were having a heated discussion and I was just about to. I hope it helps because I realize the problem is financial and I don't want to give up on "us" for that but I hate to say that if it comes down to it I can do "us" a lot better for my daughter and myself.

 

[JNA]

Mrs. Fox: communication is key! Yeah I know you get tired of arguing but at least both of you care enough to argue. As you said positive thinking can make things seem alot better when the going gets tough. You guys love each other and thats all you need

Yeah im a sap but love conquers all in my book hehe. Jacob is really up set with how things are looking for us thus far but there is nothing we can do besides pray for a miracle

 

[we can't wait]

Yeah im a sap but love conquers all in my book hehe.

I'm with you, on that one.

 

[Kylarsmom]

Hi all, Im from Oklahoma! Any other Okies in here?

 

[DarlingMe]

Im from Illinois, but welcome Kylars Mom!

I cant complain too much about my maternity benefits. I work for a fairly large company with probably 90% women on staff so I will either take sick pay, FMLA, and/or short term disability for the full 12 weeks. I am hoping to work until the last possible day so thats more time I will have at home with my little one!

So sorry everyone is having so many issues with this!

 

[DarlingMe]

Hi girls. I know we are all at different stages but I thought I would let everyone know about this. I am going to sound like a commercial here but I wanted you all to know how much I love this doppler! I had been going back and forth on buying a doppler. I was thinking of renting one, then I realized I would be paying over $100 to borrow one. I found one on Amazon. Orginally marked at $200. Sonoline B I think is the brand, well they have a C model that came out so the B model was marked down to $63 and free shipping. It has fairly good reviews so I figured I would just order it. I know it is too early for me to hear the baby but it works like the ones we use at work on our heart patients and very similar to the ones in the OB office.

I can find my own HB in my abdomen and I know as soon as LO is ready I will be able to find his/hers too. Alot of the cheaper models are really amplifiers that dont use sound waves. They are just as good as your OH putting his ear up to your belly! This one is really a ultrasound style doppler. I just had to share with you all because I feel like it is exactly the price and quality I was looking for! And I got it in 2 days! I dont often rave about things so I really do want anyone who is looking for one to know that both from a nurses standpoint and a new mom this seems like a great deal!
Again sorry for sounding like a commercial but heres the info!

https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Ultras...ef=sr_1_5?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1294542599&sr=1-5

 

[lisaf]

lol, I'm often the same, raving/advertising stuff I love!
I know a doppler will just be dangerous for me though, lol... I'd panic if I couldn't find anything etc!

Good luck with yours, sounds like a good one!

 

[MissFox]

We were given a different one from what we had and it took all of 30 seconds to find Rosie's heart beat. I was worried about not being able to find it also but she starts kicking like mad as soon as I put anything on my belly- so no worries about not actually finding the heartbeat also.
I don't blame you for not buying one though- we weren't going ot until we were given 2 of them but one is lame and just amplifies sound, the other works pretty well and you can hear the little choochoo heart.