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Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by PeppersCastle, Sep 20, 2016.
You're welcome ! Keep us updated with how you're doing
I read you first post about your mother, i don;t know if this has already been said or not. Pregnancy is a very charged time, and allows us to feel things that we don't normally allow ourselves to feel and explore, such as abusive childhoods like your own. I think rather than this being about your little girl, its more likely about the struggle and rejection you have suffered at the hands of your mother, i am so glad you are taking up counselling, i hope that through the rest of your pregnancy you can use your counselling to address the real issues you have and grow as a person.
I can tell from your post that you do love your child, but you fear becoming your mother or your daughter being like her, trust me neither you or your dd will be anything like her. I think you are feeling overprotection xx
Sorry if this is old ground, i have not yet read all the thread but i will be after i post this to you xx
You're all very sweet and thank you so much for the support. I got my anomaly scan date through today - 25th of October so in a week we will find out if we have a baby girl or a baby boy - you're right, I am overprotective of my child, I look back at my first post and my claim of how I don't want to bond with my child if it is a girl and I'm slightly disgusted at myself for saying it and, as bad as it sounds, for meaning it at the time..
I love my baby and want him or her to have the best life I could possibly give it and I will do my best to give it what it needs. I will update with the gender - thank you so much
Don't feel disgusted, it was a grieving process, not grieving because of gd, but for yourself and your past xxx It's a difficult time full of all sorts of emotions, dreams and fears x you are doing great, can't wait to hear what you are having xxx
i agree with pp. pregnancy is such an emotionally charged time. you're not just having a baby like many people think - you're becoming a MOTHER, and that's a huge huge thing.
i have two boys, and always thought i wanted a girl. i'm done having babies, so my 2 boys are it for me, and i'm SO SO happy to have my little baby boys. no matter what the gender, you'll feel the same. i grew up with an abusive stepmother who sounds like your mother, and becoming a mother for the first time was very very scary for me. but it's the best thing on earth.
hugs! can't wait to hear your update!
Only a few days to go until you find out, how are you feeling xxx
We actually found out today as we managed to get the scan moved forward -
Baby is a girl! So we have a Nova Jean on the way. I'm definitely feeling much better about it. The only problem with her is that she has bilateral talipes (clubfeet) and we're not sure of the severity yet. Neither I nor her father have clubfeet in the family, her spine and brain are perfect, and she can move her legs, so it's looking like it's just "happened" but it's fixable
I am so in love with my baby girl already. Honestly feel so much better. Maybe this is what I needed? I can't believe I didn't want her. Even if it was a for a few days. I can't wait to get her in my arms and tell her how much I love her.
Congratulations on your baby girl!! So lovely to hear your feeling better. She sound like she will have a fantastic mummy
Oh that is such great news so happy for you mummy, not sure what the club feet entail or the impact they have but i am sure everything will be great xxxxxxx
Just read up and apparently super common and easy to treat xxx
It is common and easy to treat, hopefully she just has a mild form, the sonographer had gone over Nova a few times and even measured her legs before she noticed there was something wrong, so I'm hoping it's mild and won't need casts or surgery. But we'll get through it even if she does
I can't fault the support I've had from this forum. Thank you ladies so much. You are all wonderful. x
Congratulations! I agree with everyone there is nothing to regret or feel disgusted. I read an interesting article the other day about the parenting truths nobody ever talks about. Totally natural. I am so happy you are excited about your little girl. . A few of my friends told. E they had club feet and I really did not see the difference/it never seemed to slow them down.
Congrats ! & yes , don't worry about the club feet thing .. one of this minor treatable things I am so glad you are feeling better .. don't beat yourself up .. there is def. such a thing as gender disappointment and so many women experience it at one point or another and get over it and wonder why they ever felt that way . You aren't alone ! I'm so happy for you and your precious Nova
When my sister first found out she was expecting she wanted a boy so badly. My sister is the biggest tomboy you will ever meet she is also bisexual so she just didn't want a girl, didn't think she could connect with one etc.. when she found out she wass having a girl she spent the WHOLE pregnancy in tears. Crying everyday she was in bits.
My niece is now 5 and the biggest girly girly you could think of she loves pink and frozen and skipping she's just amazing and my sister always says she can't imagine having a little boy now. I know it's hard to stop wanting what you want.. I personally want a girl and know I'll be devastated to find out it's a boy but hopefully if your worst fear comes true you will be ok xx