Ugh.

[BigZai]

So I have my moms old email which she has a facebook to. When I was going through the mail deleteing messages and what not I saw a email from facebook saying "so and so accepted your friend request." I ran in to the other room and yelled at my mom WHAT THE H*** WHY DID YOU FRIEND REQUEST FOBS NEW GIRL??? what if he sees your profile and decides to get back in LO and my life.
(I do not want this he was abusive and left me when I was 2 months pregnant)
My mother told me it was a mistake so i quickly logged on to delete her and block her, but before I did i snooped a lil. FOB is now married to this girl and has a baby that is 2 months younger then my LO living in another state
I knew this all already but idk seeing it and knowing it was 100% true just makes me feel ugh...

I am not jealous I do not want to be married to him, I dont even want to be with him its just... I dont know what I am feeling

What do you think?

 

[medic76097]

Hi I stubbled on your post and after I read it, I thought that I would share. I am currently 13 weeks with my frist, my DHs second and we have been together for three years. I am happy and konw that I am where I should be in my life... but, I do snoop sometimes on Facebook and see what my Ex is up to. I really have no feelings for that one, since he cheated left and right on me with everything that walked... or crawled. But I know that you mean about feeling odd about it. I think,for me anyway, its a "why wasnt I good enough for him' thing. I took it a bit personally when my ex moved in and married the girl I caught him with. I was choked that he gave her almost the same ring that we talked about getting, got married on THE beach we visited to check out for our future wedding ... the list goes on and on. I guess what Im trying to say is its a blow to your ego no matter how terrible the guy was to you. It sucks to see that the things that he didnt/couldnt/wouldnt give or do for you, he is doing for someone else. Even know I feel a little bitterness and resentment if I come across some news of him or his life... but not a jealous thing at all.
Just know that there is someone out there that will treat you like gold and the ones that left are your past for a reason

 

[BigZai]

Thanks for sharing. I agree its kinda like "why wasnt i good enough" when i told him i was pregnant he told me "kill it, just drink or take some drugs just kill it" and when i refused he pushe adoption for the the rest of the time we were together. He kept telling me i couldnt handle it that i wasnt able to be a mother. He said that i would not be a good mother. And just a few months later he wa engaged and had another girl pregnant.

Idk how he treats her but... Why did he treat me that way? Why did he constantly tear me down and lie to me. Why would he tell me he was cheating and get me to cry then tell me i was fing stupid an gullible? Why did he throw knives across the room when i didnt say or do exactly what he said?

Why the h*** did he do that to me and not her. Not that i would want her to be treated that way but idk.

I just need him to stay in my past and maybe one day ill find someone who will treat me right and be a good dad.
And i hope that FOB stops haunting my dreams

 

[medic76097]

Thanks for sharing. I agree its kinda like "why wasnt i good enough" when i told him i was pregnant he told me "kill it, just drink or take some drugs just kill it" and when i refused he pushe adoption for the the rest of the time we were together. He kept telling me i couldnt handle it that i wasnt able to be a mother. He said that i would not be a good mother. And just a few months later he wa engaged and had another girl pregnant.

Idk how he treats her but... Why did he treat me that way? Why did he constantly tear me down and lie to me. Why would he tell me he was cheating and get me to cry then tell me i was fing stupid an gullible? Why did he throw knives across the room when i didnt say or do exactly what he said?

Why the h*** did he do that to me and not her. Not that i would want her to be treated that way but idk.

I just need him to stay in my past and maybe one day ill find someone who will treat me right and be a good dad.
And i hope that FOB stops haunting my dreams

Thats excatly how I felt. That I wasnt good enough for him to be faithful... maybe I was too chubby, too loud, not blonde enough... it was crazy. I blamed myself for alot. In the long run it was all him and I have learned that now. Everything happens for a reason, I guess

 

[Dezireey]

Most of the time its just a simple compatibility issue thats all and no-one ever has control over that. I had an ex I was with for 10 years from the age of 18 (i'm 38 now) and I eventually left him because he wouldnt marry me or even move in with me. Within 5 months of us breaking up he went and met someone else, moved straight in with her and married her shortly after. Go figure?? For ages I thought it was me or something I did wrong but have come to realise that I was just not that compatible with him and he wasnt with me either. Really comes down to chemistry and personalities, so dont beat yourself up over it. Also realise that an abusive partner will usually always be abusive, no matter who they are with or how much they like them. I really dont hold out much hope for his new partner having an easy ride of it with a man like that, she will find out soon enough ( if she hasnt already) that he can be nasty. you had a lucky escape, feel pity for her that she is now lumped with such a loser.