unconfident toddler?

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by cara23, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. cara23

    cara23 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2011
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    Was just looking for advice with my 2 year old son, he won't ever play or do anything alone, I don't want you to get me wrong I have no problemb playing with him but i feel its getting a bit much now for example we go to Playgroups 3/4 times a week and we been goung to the same ones for over a year now and when we are there he will not go off to play etc without me, I honestly don't mind as I enjoy it and enjoy being so close to him but I worry about his confidence and starting to be a bit more independent now that he is two, even at home he always wants me to sit right with him also seems as though he is quite nervous if I am not right by his side, not really sure what to do to help him for the best, don't know if to just carry on and when he is ready he will bevome more independant or try to encourage him to be more comfertable with me not right by his side, I have tried that a few times and he will get really upset, throw a tantrum and will not play, it gets quite hard work at times as its only me he will come to not his dad, I don't really know what to do as I would like him to be confident with other children and without me, do any of you think starting a nursery sesion away from me once a week for a few hours will help or could make his anxiety worse? Sorry this is soo long lol also its been going on for quite a while now so don't really think its a phase he is going through,anybideas??
     
  2. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
    Messages:
    4,536
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi

    Does he have any time without you? Does he spend time just with his dad or other family members without you?

    Nursery sessions generally require 2/3 half day sessions, minimum, a week - sounds like this would be a bit much in one go (especially if he is sensitive).

    QT
     
  3. flower01

    flower01 Expecting Baby 3!!

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,669
    Likes Received:
    0
    Willow is quite shy and part of me thinks its because sometimes i feel uncomfortable in places where there are loads of other kids, ie- soft play areas. and she has picked up on it and feels the same!
    She takes time to thaw out and although its getting quicker, she will still hide by me and rather play with me. She does however go to nursery twice a week and i know she is fine there, once she got to know the staff she was fine. She still pretends to be shy when i drop her off but once im not there they tell me she gets on great.
    In your case, maybe try a nursery session once or twice a week to get him used to being without you.
    I wouldnt worry too much tho, we obviously have little shy and cautious little ones.
    I dont mind her being cautious, means she is more careful! :)
    xxxxxx
     
  4. cara23

    cara23 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2011
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    To be honest we do spend nearly all of our time together as I don't work at the moment so I am with him but he is quite close to other family members and I can leave him with them though he does still ask after me when I go but the main problem is his confidence with other children and needing to have someone right with him. He will start the school nursery in one year and though that's a while away I want to start preparing him as he has never been left anywhere without me his dad or nana. I think I should be encouraging him to play alone or with other children without me?
     
  5. sun

    sun Mum of 3

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
    Messages:
    13,710
    Likes Received:
    0
    My son is 2 and doesn't play independently at all - he wants me there watching or playing with him at all times. But I wouldn't say he isn't confident. He goes to toddler preschool 2x/week and loves it - the teachers all say he is outgoing and great to have there. But if I am volunteering there, then he is stuck to me and doesn't want me to go anywhere without him. He'll play with OH too, but not without me - unless I'm not home then he doesn't seem to mind! The only person he wants more is grandma LOL.

    Not sure how to encourage independent play though. If it's anything like when I've tried to encourage him to do other things, he will ignore me until he is ready to play on his own. I do have to say that preschool has been soooo great for him! Would definitely recommend something like that. xx
     
  6. cara23

    cara23 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2011
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah im going to look into a nursery place maybe just one morning a week to start with and see how he goes, just makes me think when I see other peoples children just go off and play makes you wonder why he doesn't I know they are all different but I would like him to be more independent at times and also people always comment how clingy he is and makes me feel ive done something wrong.
     
  7. OmarsMum

    OmarsMum Well-Known Member
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2010
    Messages:
    17,040
    Likes Received:
    0
    We've been going to group since march. Omar still sits on my lap during the classes & plays with me only during the free play time. He started to play alone recently but he leave the room to look for me or ask me to join him. He will play alone when he's drawing on his easel or when he's playing with my IPad but not for a long time. He's highly sensitive this is why I'm hesitant to send him to a nursery although I thought about it several times
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice