Unplanned baby no.3 - change my mind everyday :(

[LoveBubble16]

Hi ladies, I’ve commented on a few threads the last couple of weeks - I have two children, a 3 year old and a 9 month old, and myself and my hubby have found out we are expecting no.3. I know it sounds ridiculous but we are gobsmacked.

I’ve had two miscarriages before, our first baby was a missed miscarriage and that was just awful. We then had our DS, we then planned no.2x miscarriaged again at 7 weeks.. and then had our DD. We feel so blessed, even more so after the heart ache of our losses.. well here we are expecting no.3 and I’ve never felt so un-excited it’s a horrible feeling. Everyday I change my mind on how I feel (not sure if that’s hormonal) some days I look at my two dear children who already have an amazing bond and think 1 more is a blessing.. we will be fine.

Today I’m now sat feeling so worried thinking “I don’t want this, I don’t want a 3rd baby, my daughter is still my baby, she’s so young, I don’t want to be pregnant again” which is such a strange feeling after having losses and being desperate for previous pregnancies.

I’m probably tired, my daughter has a cold and hasn’t slept for three nights (not that she ever sleeps well!!)

Has anyone else been where I am and come through the other side feeling like this was all meant to be and is a blessing? Are these feelings normal? I feel sad to feel so negative towards our little baby

Any advise or any experiences, please help xxx

 

[tubs]

Hi lovebubble! I could have written this post a few years ago. Baby no 1 and 2 were very much planned. Many miscarriages and many years trying.
When baby 2 was 4 months old I was also in shock to find out I was pregnant again! I had so many mixed emotions. I felt like I had betrayed my current baby and that I’d miss out on him being the baby. I felt like I should be more grateful but I just wasn’t ready to be pregnant again.
Anyway long story short, we ended up with 3 under 3! It was manic but we just got on wit’s it and I have to say baby no 3 is nearly 2 now and he’s he sweetest little boy you could ever meet.
Everyone told me it would all work out in the end ( this used to annoy me because they wouldn’t be the one raising the baby!) but honestly it all did.

 

[LoveBubble16]

Hi lovebubble! I could have written this post a few years ago. Baby no 1 and 2 were very much planned. Many miscarriages and many years trying.
When baby 2 was 4 months old I was also in shock to find out I was pregnant again! I had so many mixed emotions. I felt like I had betrayed my current baby and that I’d miss out on him being the baby. I felt like I should be more grateful but I just wasn’t ready to be pregnant again.
Anyway long story short, we ended up with 3 under 3! It was manic but we just got on wit’s it and I have to say baby no 3 is nearly 2 now and he’s he sweetest little boy you could ever meet.
Everyone told me it would all work out in the end ( this used to annoy me because they wouldn’t be the one raising the baby!) but honestly it all did.

Thanks so much tubs - I really appreciate you responding. Even reading that loosened the anxiety noose slightly. I just want to feel love and excitement. I think it isn’t helping because my family do not know (no one knows except hubby - he’s been amazing he’s so supportive) but I’m so close to my family, I talk to them about everything. And now something so huge I’m hiding from them and everyone around me because I’m too embarrassed to tell them “we had an accident” even though technically there wasn’t an accident! We can’t believe it’s happened. I’m worried what everyone will say, when in reality it’s none of their business. I’m glad your story has a happy ending

Thank you xx

 

[Rhiannon137]

I have a 4 year old son, a 22 month old daughter, and am expecting number 3 at the end of this year. I also had a few losses mixed in along the way. DH and I were SURE we would be done after two; however, our number 3 is not unplanned. We spent months talking, agonizing, soul-searching, waiting, drinking wine, talking some more, etc, and decided to move forward and see what happened.

Even after all of that, I STILL have panicky moments (or hours/days) of WTF was I thinking?!? What have we done?!? Any time you bring a new human into the world, it's a huge deal and will definitely be disruptive.

As far as others' opinions, just have a laugh and move on. People who really care about you will probably be thrilled - everyone loves babies! Also, I've never heard anyone honestly regret having their last child, whether it was a second or an eighth.

I have a friend who was "sure" she was done after her two boys, and ended up having an oops third boy before her second was a year old. Then, once they had three, they decided adding one more wouldn't be such a big deal and ended up with their little girl. Hearing her tell the story of how the third was a whoops, but the fourth wasn't is hilarious.

I'm sure that a year from now, we will all look at our larger families and be unable to imagine NOT having that little baby. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

 

[tubs]

Just to add: I was also really caught up in how other people would react. I expected people to be negative about it. But they weren’t, everyone was so positive and excited for me. Especially considering the journey we had been on.
We are expecting number four now - which we planned!

 

[oliv]

We planned our 2nd baby and I went through phases of feeling guilty about being pregnant again as dd was only 6 months when I got pregnant again. I kept thinking if I'd done the right thing and honestly it was the best thing ever. They are best friends now. Oh just had baby number 3 and my older 2 are so excited.

I Think it's hormonal. Your dd is still so your and your hormones are still all over the place.

Best of luck with your pregnancy xx

 

[jessicaftl]

Hello,

I had many years of infertility after our first due to pcos and eventually gave up having more. Eventually I started taking care of my body and then immediately got pregnant with my second (it was planned). I got pregnant with my third when he was just 7 months old and we were in the middle of buying a house (unplanned but we did want one more down the road). We were done having kids and fine with just our three. When we had our slip up last March, I just knew I would end up pregnant again and wasn't even surprised when I got a positive test. I was not even happy and super stressed and anxious for the first several weeks. I considered all my options for awhile and dh was supportive of whichever I would decide on. I'm still a bit apprehensive and not sure what to think, but a bit more excited. I will really miss having my baby girl as my baby and I was so excited to finally having kids being old enough where I have more freedom.

I hope you can work through it, and like other ladies have said here, they are okay with things.

 

[Mrnmrsm]

Totally normal!
Myself and hubby were trying for this baby, sons 4 and there’s still days I panic and think oh no I don’t think I can manage 2 kids! I still don’t feel ‘excited’ about it but I think that comes after your dating scan

 

[donnarobinson]

I was petrified about baby number 3! I wrote posts on here .. 1 & 2 were planned and I got pregnant again unexpectedly when 2 was only 13 months old . Oh I was so upset I really didn’t want another baby but I came round and he’s now 2 and the most amazing little boy ever I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Having 3 is hard at times but no harder than what 2 was.. sending you lots of love x

 

[LoveBubble16]

Ladies you have all made me feel so much better thank you!!! I think it’s a mixture of tiredness and hormones.. today feels like a good day. Reading your experiences really has lifted some of the weight. Thank you xxxx

 

[yazzy]

I have also had 2 losses, mmc before my daughter and an Ectopic before my son. They were both very planned babies. As much as I wanted a third at some point, my OH was happy with 2. Anyway, slight oops and here I am with my beautiful 5 day old daughter snuggled on my chest. I had days of panic of how I would manage with 3 but I am so in love with this little one...I'm actually sad to think she is my last baby but boy am I in love with her 😍

 

[dizzy65]

 

[Bevziibubble]