jessiecat
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This is a copy of an email i sent to my pregnant friends, all first time moms, 4 months ago after I had given birth
I wanted to share my L&D experience with you and some after-care and baby tips that I wasn't fully aware of before my baby came. I'm sure you have already heard a lot of this, but as first time moms it can help to read it from someone who is actually going through it.
When my midwife first asked me to write a birth plan I kinda chuckled to myself. We all have this idea in our heads regarding the labor and delivery, based off of tv or what we've heard from our own moms, siblings and friends who have gone through it. My mom and my sister had pretty easy, quick and unmedicated births and I was hoping I would be the same. I didn't want to be one of those screaming women who begs God to help her...but in the end I was! 😕
I had been having contractions on/off for about a week prior to baby's birth, but nothing was regular. I knew I would go into labor at night with him because that is when my "practice" contractions would start. When my body started clearing itself out (I was in the bathroom A LOT in the 2 days prior) I knew he would be born very soon.
My contractions started at 2:30 AM. It basically felt like I had to poo at first- a little crampy. I spent a bit of time in the bathroom, but realized quickly that wasn't what was happening. The contraction felt like my cervix was being clamped and it would radiate to my lower back (dreaded back labor!) I started timing my contractions- 5 minutes apart at first, then 4 minutes apart by 4:30 am. I called the midwife on- call and she said to come in as soon as the contractions were about 3.5 minutes apart. When that started happening I was on my knees with every single one. The pain was all encompassing. You get a nice break in between the contractions but for me there was some anxiety knowing another was soon on it's way. We got on the highway and luckily were at the hospital within 25 minutes since we had beat the morning rush hour. Having contractions in the car is NOT comfortable so try to get there as soon as you can. We got to the hospital and i had to be wheelchaired up to L&D. The resident Ob/gyn checked my cervix and i was only 3-4 cm dilated. She wanted me to go home and labor some more and we said hell no!!!!! In her defense she didn't know how far we lived from the hospital. Also, my contractions were so intense I *thought* I would deliver by the afternoon. Wishful thinking.
I labored for a few more hours, with pretty awful back pain, and by 8:30 am I was 6 cm. My husband was great and would get on his hands and knees with me and press on my lower back (i could not sit in the bed at all- it made the pain much worse). I was moved to the delivery room at that time and continued moaning and groaning through the contractions (you won't believe the noises you make while in labor- i was totally surprised). At 11:30 am my water broke with a huge gush. I was so scared and the pain was so intense that I started crying. I was hoping things would move along quickly but when the midwife checked me I was only 7 cm dilated. I still had at least another few hours to go before I got to 10 cm and full effacement and then a few more hours of pushing after that. We made the decision to get the epidural and it couldn't have come at a better time. I was completely exhausted and in excruciating pain. I had really wanted an unmedicated birth, but knew I wouldn't be able to endure the next half if I didn't get some relief. I got the epidural and was in absolute heaven. No pain whatsoever and I was able to get some rest. By the time I got checked again at around 3 pm I was fully dilated and ready to push! Because I couldn't feel the contractions I had some difficulty with this part- I didn't feel the "urge to push" like some women say they do. You have to bear down like you're taking a bowel movement. I tried for an hour without much success so the decision was made to turn my anesthesia down a bit. I tried multiple positions for the next 3 hours (lying on both sides, squat bar, bringing my legs toward me while i was semi supine), but the baby would not move down. He was in a permanent +2 station (a certain head position in the birth canal). At around 9 pm i had 3 ob/gyns come in and check on me to discuss our options. They said I was pushing effectively so that wasn't the issue. They thought the baby's head might be a little large for my pelvis and he was basically "stuck" and couldn't get past my pelvic bone. We discussed the risk and benefits of using a vacuum to help pull him down- they would try 2-3 times with the vacuum and if the vacuum didn't work I would need a c-section. The vacuum is a little contraption that attaches to the baby's head. The next 20-30 minutes were a bit traumatic for me- by this time I had been laboring for nearly 20 hours. I had 3 ob/gyns, my midwife, a nurse and a team of NICU pediatricians in the room. They used the vacuum on me during a contraction and I started screaming and crying, the pain was intense as the baby was pulled further down. My midwife was crying, my husband was crying. It was nuts. My son was delivered on the 3rd or 4th contraction and WHAT A RELIEF. I was so happy to hear him cry and hold him in my arms. I had a 2nd degree tear and needed stitches, lots of pain medication, and pitocin to control the bleeding. I swore I would never go through that again, but of course I will because we love having this baby so much and want to give him a sibling! 😉 I could barely get out of bed so my husband had to change all of the baby's poopy diapers during the first 24 hours (no one told me they poop A LOT of black-brown, tarry poo during the first day of life).
That was my experience and I know yours will all be different, and hopefully easier, than mine. Be flexible, listen to your body and don't try to be a martyr to the pain. My sister barely had any pain with her contractions and delivered my nephew within a few hours of getting to the hospital. Not everyone is so lucky.
There are a few things helping me recover-
-I only get out of bed to use the toilet and shower (i'm watching LOTS of movies on tv), husband is doing 99% of the diaper and clothing changes and burping
-Sitz bath for the toilet (you can soak your bum in it if you have tearing or hemorrhoids)
-Hemorrhoid pads
-Stool softeners (A MUST if you have a vaginal delivery- take 2 a day starting after the birth)
-Pain medication (i take ibuprofen and tylenol)
-Maxi pads for bleeding and discharge
-a few pairs of comfy pajamas with easy access to your breasts if you plan on breastfeeding
- someone to cook for you and bring you food. Im still having a hard time sitting in a chair so I'm eating most of my meals in bed with a tray.
If you plan on breastfeeding-
-Use a nipple cream after every feeding, starting immediately after the birth. Alternate with ice packs and warm compresses. It's a chore but your boobs will get more action in the next week than ever before and will be very sore!
-Make an appointment to have baby see a pediatrician within a day or two of coming home. Our baby lost over 1 lb in the first 3 days of life and the dr told me to supplement breastfeeding with 8 oz of formula per day. My milk didn't come in until day 4 or 5 so he was only getting colostrum until then and it wasn't enough. The first couple of nights were rough. He was a different baby after getting the formula and within 24 hours gained 1/2 lb. My milk is in now and he nurses every 1.5-2 hours. I drink mother's milk tea and a cup of dark milk beer stout every day to help with the milk supply. Love that I can drink beer!
-Definitely have the burp cloths ready. Baby spits up pretty regularly.
My baby is 4 months old now and my body is still not 100% back to normal. I occasionally feel twangs of pain and still can't comfortably fit into my prepregnancy clothes even though i've lost all the pregnancy weight. Husband and I have only been intimate a few times and it was not comfortable for me at all. A lot of synthetic lubrication is needed because I'm breastfeeding and still haven't gotten my period. Im finally getting the hang of parenting and don't feel as much anxiety as I did in the beginning. Every week there's something new- either with baby's development or my body. This week i'm losing hair! Even with all the aches and pains and sleepless nights, I would do it all over again! I feel very blessed to have a happy, healthy little boy
I wanted to share my L&D experience with you and some after-care and baby tips that I wasn't fully aware of before my baby came. I'm sure you have already heard a lot of this, but as first time moms it can help to read it from someone who is actually going through it.
When my midwife first asked me to write a birth plan I kinda chuckled to myself. We all have this idea in our heads regarding the labor and delivery, based off of tv or what we've heard from our own moms, siblings and friends who have gone through it. My mom and my sister had pretty easy, quick and unmedicated births and I was hoping I would be the same. I didn't want to be one of those screaming women who begs God to help her...but in the end I was! 😕
I had been having contractions on/off for about a week prior to baby's birth, but nothing was regular. I knew I would go into labor at night with him because that is when my "practice" contractions would start. When my body started clearing itself out (I was in the bathroom A LOT in the 2 days prior) I knew he would be born very soon.
My contractions started at 2:30 AM. It basically felt like I had to poo at first- a little crampy. I spent a bit of time in the bathroom, but realized quickly that wasn't what was happening. The contraction felt like my cervix was being clamped and it would radiate to my lower back (dreaded back labor!) I started timing my contractions- 5 minutes apart at first, then 4 minutes apart by 4:30 am. I called the midwife on- call and she said to come in as soon as the contractions were about 3.5 minutes apart. When that started happening I was on my knees with every single one. The pain was all encompassing. You get a nice break in between the contractions but for me there was some anxiety knowing another was soon on it's way. We got on the highway and luckily were at the hospital within 25 minutes since we had beat the morning rush hour. Having contractions in the car is NOT comfortable so try to get there as soon as you can. We got to the hospital and i had to be wheelchaired up to L&D. The resident Ob/gyn checked my cervix and i was only 3-4 cm dilated. She wanted me to go home and labor some more and we said hell no!!!!! In her defense she didn't know how far we lived from the hospital. Also, my contractions were so intense I *thought* I would deliver by the afternoon. Wishful thinking.
I labored for a few more hours, with pretty awful back pain, and by 8:30 am I was 6 cm. My husband was great and would get on his hands and knees with me and press on my lower back (i could not sit in the bed at all- it made the pain much worse). I was moved to the delivery room at that time and continued moaning and groaning through the contractions (you won't believe the noises you make while in labor- i was totally surprised). At 11:30 am my water broke with a huge gush. I was so scared and the pain was so intense that I started crying. I was hoping things would move along quickly but when the midwife checked me I was only 7 cm dilated. I still had at least another few hours to go before I got to 10 cm and full effacement and then a few more hours of pushing after that. We made the decision to get the epidural and it couldn't have come at a better time. I was completely exhausted and in excruciating pain. I had really wanted an unmedicated birth, but knew I wouldn't be able to endure the next half if I didn't get some relief. I got the epidural and was in absolute heaven. No pain whatsoever and I was able to get some rest. By the time I got checked again at around 3 pm I was fully dilated and ready to push! Because I couldn't feel the contractions I had some difficulty with this part- I didn't feel the "urge to push" like some women say they do. You have to bear down like you're taking a bowel movement. I tried for an hour without much success so the decision was made to turn my anesthesia down a bit. I tried multiple positions for the next 3 hours (lying on both sides, squat bar, bringing my legs toward me while i was semi supine), but the baby would not move down. He was in a permanent +2 station (a certain head position in the birth canal). At around 9 pm i had 3 ob/gyns come in and check on me to discuss our options. They said I was pushing effectively so that wasn't the issue. They thought the baby's head might be a little large for my pelvis and he was basically "stuck" and couldn't get past my pelvic bone. We discussed the risk and benefits of using a vacuum to help pull him down- they would try 2-3 times with the vacuum and if the vacuum didn't work I would need a c-section. The vacuum is a little contraption that attaches to the baby's head. The next 20-30 minutes were a bit traumatic for me- by this time I had been laboring for nearly 20 hours. I had 3 ob/gyns, my midwife, a nurse and a team of NICU pediatricians in the room. They used the vacuum on me during a contraction and I started screaming and crying, the pain was intense as the baby was pulled further down. My midwife was crying, my husband was crying. It was nuts. My son was delivered on the 3rd or 4th contraction and WHAT A RELIEF. I was so happy to hear him cry and hold him in my arms. I had a 2nd degree tear and needed stitches, lots of pain medication, and pitocin to control the bleeding. I swore I would never go through that again, but of course I will because we love having this baby so much and want to give him a sibling! 😉 I could barely get out of bed so my husband had to change all of the baby's poopy diapers during the first 24 hours (no one told me they poop A LOT of black-brown, tarry poo during the first day of life).
That was my experience and I know yours will all be different, and hopefully easier, than mine. Be flexible, listen to your body and don't try to be a martyr to the pain. My sister barely had any pain with her contractions and delivered my nephew within a few hours of getting to the hospital. Not everyone is so lucky.
There are a few things helping me recover-
-I only get out of bed to use the toilet and shower (i'm watching LOTS of movies on tv), husband is doing 99% of the diaper and clothing changes and burping
-Sitz bath for the toilet (you can soak your bum in it if you have tearing or hemorrhoids)
-Hemorrhoid pads
-Stool softeners (A MUST if you have a vaginal delivery- take 2 a day starting after the birth)
-Pain medication (i take ibuprofen and tylenol)
-Maxi pads for bleeding and discharge
-a few pairs of comfy pajamas with easy access to your breasts if you plan on breastfeeding
- someone to cook for you and bring you food. Im still having a hard time sitting in a chair so I'm eating most of my meals in bed with a tray.
If you plan on breastfeeding-
-Use a nipple cream after every feeding, starting immediately after the birth. Alternate with ice packs and warm compresses. It's a chore but your boobs will get more action in the next week than ever before and will be very sore!
-Make an appointment to have baby see a pediatrician within a day or two of coming home. Our baby lost over 1 lb in the first 3 days of life and the dr told me to supplement breastfeeding with 8 oz of formula per day. My milk didn't come in until day 4 or 5 so he was only getting colostrum until then and it wasn't enough. The first couple of nights were rough. He was a different baby after getting the formula and within 24 hours gained 1/2 lb. My milk is in now and he nurses every 1.5-2 hours. I drink mother's milk tea and a cup of dark milk beer stout every day to help with the milk supply. Love that I can drink beer!
-Definitely have the burp cloths ready. Baby spits up pretty regularly.
My baby is 4 months old now and my body is still not 100% back to normal. I occasionally feel twangs of pain and still can't comfortably fit into my prepregnancy clothes even though i've lost all the pregnancy weight. Husband and I have only been intimate a few times and it was not comfortable for me at all. A lot of synthetic lubrication is needed because I'm breastfeeding and still haven't gotten my period. Im finally getting the hang of parenting and don't feel as much anxiety as I did in the beginning. Every week there's something new- either with baby's development or my body. This week i'm losing hair! Even with all the aches and pains and sleepless nights, I would do it all over again! I feel very blessed to have a happy, healthy little boy
))
