vent thread!! add yours!

[juicyfruity]

*for everone who needs a vent why dont we let out out in this thread*


I had my wellchild visit today and at 8 weeks Maria is still not smiling or cooing, sleeps most of the time and hasnt got great head control..... and my wellchild provider doesnt seem to take into account she was 5 to 6 weeks early

I hate worrying, I hate the fact that to me she is doing sooo well she is now focusing on objects etc but then its like a huge downer! I hate spending ages smiling and talking to her hoping she'll smile back

and i hate the fact that people in my antenatal class are haivng babies now of similar weight if not bigger than Maria is now.

i wish i had the birth i planned, i wish i wasnt put in the situation of using nipple shields and pacifiers

BUT i love my little girl so much and every day with her she makes me smile. I wouldnt trade this experience for another if it meant i couldnt have my LO!

 

[DHime]

I totally get that too!!!!! Enough with the milestones! We are just happy they are alive for crying out loud!
I recently wrote this on my journal but find it fitting to add it to this thread..
Some people need sensitivity training when dealing with a preemie parent. No, many do.
1. having a preemie does NOT equal less pain in any way, shape, or form. This is for many different reasons. A: Small baby does NOT equal less labor. I have 12 hrs under my belt to prove it too. B: Any pushing pain I didn't have was way made up for by having a doctor put both freaking arms up my hooha at the same dang time trying to pull out my internal organs!!!!!! and when that didn't work, he used some torture device with teeth!!!! teeth and hooha's DO NOT MIX!!!! C: Nearly dying kinda trumps regular labor. sorry but it does. D: After not seeing your baby at all for a week then when you finally can - Seeing your little baby in so much pain continues your own pain to a whole new level.
2. Look but don't touch He has a suppressed immune system. STOP TOUCHING HIM ALREADY! Hello? A cold nearly killed him, really, step back...
3. ONCE HE HITS A YEAR OLD HE WILL NOT MAGICALLY BE NORMAL. I know everyone knows someone who had a preemie who turned out totally normal. I can guarantee you that they have challenges you don't know about. No preemie comes away unscathed.
4. Stop expecting milestones. He is a baby for crying out loud. Just let him be one as long as possible. I don't care if he isn't crawling yet. Who made these stupid rules anyway...
5. no, nothing I did caused his problems. God did not give him these problems to test me or because I could handle it or because anyone of us is special. Humans are imperfect and it just happens. The next person to blame God gets it.....
6. Don't feel sorry for us. There is enough of that already. We want to accept and move forward as best we can with our love for each other and our faith to guide us.
7. Don't offer help unless you are gonna follow through.
8. Saying "he doesn't look like a preemie..." ok... so was he supposed to have horns or a sign or something?!

 

[DHime]

by the way... she will smile. Give her time. they all progress differently

 

[misspriss]

I am tired of people asking me why I am not too happy right now. My baby is in the NICU, and I want him home, am I supposed to be chipper? I'm not depressed, I'm functioning and doing fine, but every now and then I want to be able to cry or complain to DH.

Yes, having a preemie does NOT equal no pain!! I was in labor, having regular contractions, for 36 hours - before my C-section, and the painful recovery that resulted. Most term births don't have that long of a labor!

 

[juicyfruity]

8. Saying "he doesn't look like a preemie..." ok... so was he supposed to have horns or a sign or something?!

love this!

and also this a late vent...still bothers me...

when you visit my baby in the nicu please dont go from incubator to incubator like they are zoo animals!! i have sat laughed and cried alongside these woman! having you say "ooh that ones TINY!!" or "is it a boy or a girl?" or "omg it looks more like a FETUS than a baby!" really pisses me off. you are my close friends and i know you cant possibly understand but please! thats rude and hurtful! i loved having your comppany but THINK FIRST!

 

[Sal76]

'Oooh isn't he small!'

......no sh1t Sherlock!

 

[Stelly]

Lovely vent page! Now that my son is 4 months and just hit 8lbs, I get a lot of "oh he looks like a REAL baby now!" Um.. What did he look like before now to you? A gnome?

Also fed up with milestone expectations... Yes he's "4months" no he isn't smiling, cooing, playing with toys, etc. stop asking then get that sad pitying look when I answer. He is just fine and right where he should be for HIM.

 

[optimistic13]

Hey guys... My vent is I'm trying so hard to lose weight with Pcos... Trying ttc for 3yrs.
.
Tons of women are huge and get pregnant, tons of women pop children out right, left, centre.. but are they worthy...
I wana be a mummy so desperately.. I've lost 44lb need to drop 28lb for healthy bmi .... : ((((((

 

[juicyfruity]

stelly i get the REAL baby thing too!

 

[lilbeanhoping]

I hate the "oh he wasn't that early then" um 5-6weeks in the development of a baby adds up ppl! That and now I'm told by ped she thinks he actually was even earlier than originally thought.

I hate the gawkers in the nicu too! Luckily our nicu nurses were so good and they had a rule posted on wall that said u stay with your baby only, including your eyes! And they enforced it and would tell ppl.

I also hate the "oh but he was such a good weight!" yes my lil man was 6lbs 9oz but he was 21in long (quite long!) and had a full term sized head that was actually even big for a baby at full term (thanx to his dad!) but the rest of him was skin and bone not an oz of fat on him. He even had extra skin rolls where fat should have been underneath that ppl would comment in pics and say "aww fat rolls" um ya no.

My lil guy has lung issues due to them being so premature and ppl just don't get it, "oh but he looks so big and healthy and he's so happy" yes ppl the doctors actually call him a "happy weezer!" doesn't mean he's fine because he's smiling and laughing, u aren't there at night or nap time when he wakes up freaking out and screaming because he can't breathe! So keep your germ infested hands off him!

Ok rant over haha, feels good to share with ppl who get it. No one I know has had a premie, or even knows anyone Cept us who have had one.

 

[KIALea]

im now first time mum to Ava who is 9 months, she was born at 32 weeks.

ive come on here to ask what to expect with her development, i know she will do things at her adjusted age as has up until recently.

its hard to not pay any notice to the is she crawling yet, or how old is she now,and oh shes still soooo small!!!

I was told by my HV that they start to catch up at 9 months, i dont see this happening any time soon!

Ava didnt smile till 12ish weeks xxx

 

[KIALea]

oh and i went to baby sensory a few weeks back, a lady asked how old ava was...i always feel the need to tell ppl she was early before i get a worrying look that she is small...then the lady replied, my baby was early too...2 weeks!!

i just thought to myself...right...you have no idea love!!

 

[DHime]

anyone after 37 weeks is not preemie. It is preterm but nope they have no idea.

Ok. Gonna vent about pressure build up. My mom was just hospitalized for depression, my FIL was just put into Rehab for Alcoholism. My MIL is home drunk to celebrate his absence. She doesn't realize that her turn is coming next when summer gets here.My dog had bad bloody diarrhea and vomiting everywhere. (I gave him boiled chicken - never again!) Tristan is getting a rash all over so I think he is allergic to fabric softener.
However, my doc appt is Thursday, T had a new medical team from the developmental center (because he isn't meeting milestones) (stupid timetables!) we will meet with on Wednesday before his therapy appts. His gi appt is Tuesday. I am hoping he continued to gain.
Oh, can you believe my sister still isn't talking to me after I put my list if things on FB? i FIGURED MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY SHOULD KNOW THIS STUFF. My DH sent her texts and she said I was just using her to get attention. Also she said that she had another new mom say that preemies don't hurt as much cause they are smaller. (lemme guess.... her kid was full term right? yep) Really....... Good grief!

 

[jandksmommy]

Love the vent thread!! Here is mine...

My little one was a 23 weeker so of course she came home with special needs which include the use of home oxygen. She is doing much better and her Doctor wants to see if she still needs the oxygen but we can't get the Respitory Therapist who was assigned to her to even come see her. Apparently he was supposed to be coming on a regular schedule since she came home but he has never even met her. Now we are going to have to drive 250km to see a pulminary specialist to have her tested because the idiot RT told the Doctor that he will not be responsible for testing her. Butthead!!!

And on a side note... I have issues with these 'milestones' when it comes to our sweet little preemies. They will do everything in their own time. It took 5 months for mine to smile but when she finally did... It was the sweetest smile in the whole world! They will get there and will do it with style