Very nosey questions: mums of 3.

[Pearls18]

If you have 3 or more children, and wouldn't mind answering some if not all of my questions I would appreciate it.

1) what age gaps do you have?
2) how old are you?
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!)
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare?
5) what car do you drive?

Also, any info on having 3 generally really, what the jump from 2 to 3 has been like for you physically, eomotionally, financially.

My biggest concerns are money (we could "survive" but I would like more than that, holidays, treats etc), work: I love working but don't have any family nearby so am reliant on childcare, I'm worried about the logistics of working with 3 kids. And my own independence, I am quite an independent person, I enjoy working, I do things by myself, I just kinda imagine it being harder with 3 children...

Thanks!

 

[Eternal]

1. Less than 2 years between first and second and less than a minute between 2nd and third lol (will be 2.5 years between 3rd and 4th)
2. I'm 30 now so was 27 having twins
3. It varies greatly, but 37k ish (we don't claim any benefits other than child benefit)
4. Im a SAHM
5. We just bought a vw transporter shuttle, technically a van lol. It has 9 seats, ages are so close getting car seats in a 7 seater is a nightmare, plus my eldest has autism and if he is along side someone he lashes out. So this way they all have space. Lol.

My planned my first and second, 3rd came as a surprise and this one was completely unplanned. We do still enjoy treats etc. But any trips to disney world will have to wait until Im back at work. Due to the amount of kids, I'm feel limited in what jobs I could do, I have a degree already in nursing but are no longer registered (have to keep up to date), but planning on doing psychology degree at some point with intention of special needs teaching or educational psychology but that is probably a long way off and a lot of money to find.

I do think logistic of having so many young kids difficult, but that's more because the age gap is so small, I have a special needs child and twins. Lol. My eldest will be just 4 when baby arrives.

I do feel fairly defined as a mother only at this point, but I don't currently work so might be easier if you are still working. Think that's it lol.

 

[aimee-lou]

If you have 3 or more children, and wouldn't mind answering some if not all of my questions I would appreciate it.

1) what age gaps do you have? Eldest is 4.5, Middle is 23m, Youngest is 8m.
2) how old are you? 30
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!) - Not sure off the top of my head (complicated to figure out) but it's not a lot. We are entitled to A LOT so I'm guessing low. Disposible income - that's a tricky one. Technically nothing but we get grants and things through which allow us to get the things we need and I had a small inheritance last year which has helped us out.
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? I don't work. I have tried to return multiple times but due to the fact that my qualifications are majorly out of date and I have little or no skills otherwise, I'm stuck on minimum wage jobs and that really doesn't cover childcare for my 3.
5) what car do you drive? We have a lovely new Vauxhall Zafira (inheritance paid for it). We needed a 7-seater as it's hell trying to fit the 3 boys in - we had a Volvo V40 previously and it wasn't happening. I do know that some cars can fit them easier (Citroen Picasso is one I know of) and in the new car we can manage to get them in a row (just) but it's handy to have the extra row of seats, especially for longer journeys etc.

Also, any info on having 3 generally really, what the jump from 2 to 3 has been like for you physically, eomotionally, financially.

My biggest concerns are money (we could "survive" but I would like more than that, holidays, treats etc), work: I love working but don't have any family nearby so am reliant on childcare, I'm worried about the logistics of working with 3 kids. And my own independence, I am quite an independent person, I enjoy working, I do things by myself, I just kinda imagine it being harder with 3 children...

Thanks!

I must say that in reality Charlie hasn't made a great deal of difference to our everyday life. I don't know whether that's down to the small age gap or the fact that he's so easy going, or the fact that I've been told on many an occasion that after 2 it makes no difference lol. There's 15m between him and Edward. We already had all the clothes, the car seat, the beds and blankets, even the weaning stuff as we found out about him when Edward was just 6m. It cost us very little - just a new set of bottles and a double buggy. Feeding them, ok they can eat a heck of a lot. Now they're all on 3 meals a day I find myself buying a whole trolley in Tesco's every 5 days or so. If I'm not careful it can become very expensive but I plan and I economise where I can and we make do.

Logistically we did have to get a new car, but apart from that life was pretty much the same. I still go most places on the bus, and Earl goes to pre-school etc. We're still in our 2-bed house, and plan on, if we don't move soon that is which may happen, swapping bedroom so the 3 kids are in the large bedroom and we're in the smaller one which atm is just Earl and Eddy.

It is a lot of work, but we're in a routine now and we just get on with it. There's a lot of washing, cooking, cleaning, and general running around which while there was a lot with 2, things seemed to have moved up a gear. The house is noisier too.....which is not always a nice thing! lol

We always said we wanted 3, and we're very lucky to have them, and Charlie has definitely brought more than he has taken away. The boys love their little brother, and they're a right little gang! I'm dreading it once Charlie can join in fully once he's up on his feet!

With regards to work, I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm honest. There's an argument for me returning to work just to get some social aspect back, if I could get a Saturday/Weekend/Evening job which would mean no childcare as the kids would be in bed/with hubby. However, our house works well with me home, and tbh I like being home too. I do hope to re-train still, or even go back to Uni and complete a Masters in the future, but right now, with 3 children under 5 and none of them in full time school I need to be realistic. It's going to have to wait for a while, at least until Edward gets his 15 hours so it's not going to break the bank to put 2 in nursery on top of wraparound for Earl if it's needed. I do have to consider though that soon my hubby will be completing his degree and moving on so who knows, we may be able to afford more soon.

HTH and feel free to ask me anything else.

 

[embo216]

1) what age gaps do you have? Eldest is 6 in a few weeks, middle child is 4 and youngest is nearly 14 months
2) how old are you?Me 27, OH 28
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!) 50k+
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? I'm a stay at home mum.
5) what car do you drive? We have 2 cars, I have a 3 series BMW and OH has a merc x

I never planned on having 3 children as I was one of 3 growing up and desperately hated being the middle child. Connor arrived by accident and to be honest I really struggled with the pregnancy and when he was a baby, not so much because it was hard having another baby in the family but my own demons.

Now he's starting to walk and become more independant I'm loving it! There are of course moments of absolute madness but my eldest goes to school and my middle will go full time school in September. My OH works nights and away every weekend so it's mainly just me, my mum and sister live very close but both work full time and would be there is I was desperate but they never offer or I wouldn't ever really ask. We're on the look out for a babysitter so we can claw back some adult time

Money wise I haven't actually noticed much stretch in the money, it was hard to have to buy nappies and formula again but not horrific. I know the money will come into it more when they're all at school. Uniforms and shoes are expensive enough just for 1 so dreading all 3 there.

I need my own time and I still get it, I make sure I do. Even if it's just going for a walk or a bath I make sure I get it, it's very important to me.

I was very very worried about not be able to give my children their each individual time but we manage too really easily now.

Thought I'd add this, I was so against having 3 yet now I have 3 I'm considering a 4th

 

[DonnaBallona]

Hi!

my three are 5, nearly 4 and 18m. I am nearly 28.
household income, no idea as I have a self employed husband so it varies.
we don't have much disposable income, if any. we just pretty much learnt to go without stuff in order to afford 'niceities'.

I work in the evenings and every other weekend as a waitress, so I go out when my husband comes in. I don't enjoy it as I never see him really! and we only have 1 car, a KA, which my husband uses for work. I just walk everywhere I need to go.

Like Embo216 I didn't plan on 3 children ether as I'm one of 3 and hated it then, and still hate it now! I found it quite hard to bond with my youngest, we has a tough time when he was born and he has some fairly serious medical issues which we are going through investigations for.

in short, 3 isn't what i thought it would be... although the bigger Jude gets the easier it is. I think the medical issues for us is making it really tough, as opposed to it being because there are 3 of them, iykwim?

Each family is different so you might find.it a peice of cake! I'd never do it again though. ever!

 

[sam2eb]

1) what age gaps do you have? We have a 5 year old, 3 year old and a 15 month old.

2) how old are you? I'm 32 & oh is 32

3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!) Around 40k

4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? I don't work, would love to get a job but no way would we be able to afford childcare. When the baby goes to nursery school I'll look for something in the mornings.
5) what car do you drive? We got a Ford s max a few months ago. It's great. We had a vectra before that and it just wasn't comfortable with us all in it.

For us having a 3rd baby wasn't a really hard jump. She's so easy going so that has definitely helped. Financially we are starting to notice things more now, before she was walking we would have been at soft play places a couple of times a week, now we have to pay for her it's once every few weeks etc. That's only a minor thing tho and as a pp said the thing that worries me is when they are all at school and needing uniforms etc!

 

[QueenMummyToBe]

1) what age gaps do you have?

There is just shy of two years between Amelia and Tristan.. and there is 2 and a half years between Tristan and Alma


2) how old are you? I am 25.

3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!) My hubby earns around 17k and we get tax credits & child benefit.

4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare?

I did work prior to having Alma but my boss has been so horrid about me
going back and being so awkward I have handed in my notice and will
look for jobs when Alma is older. I was going back to work on
hubbys days off so childcare wasn't an issue.

5) what car do you drive?

Hubby has a ford mondeo st.

Not a family car in the slightest but it fits 3 car seats in the back.
I don't drive and generally walk everywhere.

edit- I have found the jump from 2-3 hard.. but I more think
it is because Alma is a very clingy baby, who still feeds every
hour and struggles to settle for other people.
Also Amelia started school 4 days after Alma was born
so that was a major life change in its self.


xx

 

[wishuwerehere]

Just posting to keep track of this thread - as you already know MW you and I are having the same debate about having another!

 

[jenny82]

I'm not technically there yet but it's given me some food for thought so I thought I'd have a go!

) what age gaps do you have? It will be 2 years and 2.5 years by the time he comes.

2) how old are you? 31

3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!). We are lucky I think in that we do ok. OH moved jobs a few years ago and our income went up a good bit. We are comfortable without me having to work.

4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? No, don't work. I do some volunteering stuff and help out at preschool but I can bring my younger LO with me. I wish we did have someone on call for when I am sick, as that is the real kicker!

5) what car do you drive? Just got a Renault scenic 7 str. We weren't planning on changing cars and making do but someone drove into me :/

Our house is already a mad house so I am kinda dreading how much louder it can get! Although at least I know I have almost a year before the real crazy starts. I don't feel independent at all anymore but I know it's just temporary and I will get some kind of life back eventually. Because I'm not working, I put more effort into stuff that is just for me, so trying to do a graduate diploma from home, want to take up yoga, run etc in a few months. That keeps me sane.. My older one starts school in sept and the middle one starts preschool then too so my days may be taken up by lots of school runs for a while...!

The main cost for us that I can think of atm will be food and flights home. I picked up a really cheap Phil & Teds on gumtree and we still had all the other baby stuff (except a bouncer) so cost of the actual baby so far has been minimal.

I should come back and update in a few months eeeeek..

 

[Tasha]

1) I have an almost ten year old, an eight year old and an almost six year old. So fifteen months between the first and second, and thirty-four months between the second and third (although obviously there was a baby between them two).

2). I am twenty-eight, I had my third (technically fourth) two days before my twenty-third birthday.

3). We live comfortably, can afford treats, holidays etc and as you know we live in London.

4). No. I did for a bit though and it was fine. I worked nights and he worked days so childcare wasnt an issue for us.

5) We drive a Citroen C4 Grand.

For me she slipped in very easily, it really was no difference for us.

 

[shellideaks]

If you have 3 or more children, and wouldn't mind answering some if not all of my questions I would appreciate it.

1) what age gaps do you have? Kids are 7, 18 months and 4 months.
2) how old are you? 27
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!) Around 27K, we get some help with tax credits. Mortgage is relatively cheap so we have at least £500 disposable each month.
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? I'm on mat leave at the moment, not sure if I'm going back or not. If I do then the youngest 2 will go to nursery (we get help with nursery costs in that case).
5) what car do you drive? OH drives a Peugot 306. It's too small and pretty rubbish but we just about fit us all in lol. I don't drive.

Also, any info on having 3 generally really, what the jump from 2 to 3 has been like for you physically, eomotionally, financially. The change has been pretty easy. Nate slotted right in and I haven't noticed things costing more!

My biggest concerns are money (we could "survive" but I would like more than that, holidays, treats etc), work: I love working but don't have any family nearby so am reliant on childcare, I'm worried about the logistics of working with 3 kids. And my own independence, I am quite an independent person, I enjoy working, I do things by myself, I just kinda imagine it being harder with 3 children...

Thanks!

 

[special_kala]

If you have 3 or more children, and wouldn't mind answering some if not all of my questions I would appreciate it.

1) what age gaps do you have? 4 year old, 2 year old, 10 months.
2) how old are you? 26 OH 25
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!) around 30k, we get ctc too.
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? dh works shifts which change with little notice so childcare costs are too much for me to eotj
5) what car do you drive? I have a grand c max, dh has a Honda Integra.

Also, any info on having 3 generally really, what the jump from 2 to 3 has been like for you physically, eomotionally, financially.

My biggest concerns are money (we could "survive" but I would like more than that, holidays, treats etc), work: I love working but don't have any family nearby so am reliant on childcare, I'm worried about the logistics of working with 3 kids. And my own independence, I am quite an independent person, I enjoy working, I do things by myself, I just kinda imagine it being harder with 3 children...

Thanks!

The jump from 2-3 wasn't too bad. River is in school in september and Willow nursery so that will make things easier.

Next year scares me a bit as taking 3 to the parks makes me panic once they are mobile.

Holidays will be more expensive as they get older. 3 financialy is a big jump.

 

[Blah11]

I have a 5 year old, 2 year old and 3 month old (all birthdays within a month of each other).

I'm 26 aand oh is 32.

We earn around 25k but live within our means and never really struggle. We afford days out holidays new toys etc.

I work part time. Used to be mon-fri 7.30-1.30 but im hoping to go back with 2 long days one at the weekend so as not to have childcare costs.
My mum and dad still work full time and with a nursery bill for 2 plus a childminder for eldest and school holidays to worry about its just going to ve too hard.

I don't drive but will learn after summer. oh drives a ford focus


Meadow has slotted in really well. It was very hard ar the start. My dd has a cows milk allergy so cried a lot until we figured it out. Money wise ive not noticed any difference really. I guess it'll be things like family holidays and Christmas when we'll notice the difference but nothing saving up won't help. I love 3 and will hopefully have 1 more in 3-4 years.

 

[Warby]

1) what age gaps do you have? 4 kids ages 9.5, 7.5, 4.5, 1
2) how old are you?39. I didn't have my first until I was 29; wanted to get my degree and launch my career
3) what is your household income/disposable income? 200k Canadian
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? Yes, my DH and I both work full time. I am a teacher so I can save some work for when the kids are in bed. We have a live-in nanny. It's wonderful!
5) what car do you drive? Toyota Sienna minivan

When I had one and then two kids, we used a wonderful day home. When I went back to work after my third, we hired our fantastic nanny. I thought it would be odd at first having a stranger in our home but it wasn't really. My childcare costs did not increase going from 3 kids to 4!

I don't want to sound boastful, but DH and I have pretty good jobs and manage a nice lifestyle. I am 39 and he is 43, so we have been working for a while now. We have gone on two big family holidays (in the 9.5 years that we have been parents) and have done small things like camping weekends and visiting out-of-town relatives.

My biggest concern is guilt. I feel like I am not provoding the same opportunities for my younger two as I did for my older two. I worry that I am not giving each kid enough attention, that I am neglecting my marriage, that I don't exercise enough/at all, etc. only so many hours in a day!

 

[lovelylaura]

If you have 3 or more children, and wouldn't mind answering some if not all of my questions I would appreciate it.

1) what age gaps do you have?
2) how old are you?
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!)
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare?
5) what car do you drive?

Also, any info on having 3 generally really, what the jump from 2 to 3 has been like for you physically, eomotionally, financially.

My biggest concerns are money (we could "survive" but I would like more than that, holidays, treats etc), work: I love working but don't have any family nearby so am reliant on childcare, I'm worried about the logistics of working with 3 kids. And my own independence, I am quite an independent person, I enjoy working, I do things by myself, I just kinda imagine it being harder with 3 children...

Thanks!

Although i haven't had num 3 yet i thought i would add our answers as most i can answer. Feel free to ignore if you want

1, 13 months between 1 and 2 then there will be 2 and 3 years this time.
2, i'm 22 OH 29
3, about 30k
4,I do work but at the moment i only do sundays and OH has them, but every 5/6 weeks he has to work a sunday too so MIL has them. When i return after mat leave i want to work 2 days in the week. Poppy will have her free hours at preschool then i will have to pay for freya and the new baby which means i won't really be earning anything but i want to finish my training ASAP. Then in sept Poppy will be in school and Freya will get her free hours and i'll just have to pay for the baby.
5, i don't drive but OH has a megane. I will be learning this mat leave so will just have a little run about i think.

I can't comment on how it is once number 3 is here as she isn't yet but i can't see it being that hard she will have to just fit into our routine. I don't plan on leaving work its my 'me' time. We will be ok for money but we have just accepted that for the next couple of years we will just be a bit tight. We do have debts though so we would be alot better off without those which is in about 2 years. We don't have big holidays but we do have alot of days out which for us is what we prefer. Next year we are having a holiday just to cornwall but we wouldn't have done anything different anyway. I am taking my husband to download for his 30th as well.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

This is interesting. Me and dh are currently in the middle of the 3rd child debate. Think the pain is still too recent atm hahah so I can't bring myself to commit lol

 

[hel_5]

If you have 3 or more children, and wouldn't mind answering some if not all of my questions I would appreciate it.

1) what age gaps do you have?just over three yrs between the first two and 19 months between then next two
2) how old are you?30
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!)€50+, I could not work! but it means we don't have to worry too much and can still go on holidays abroad
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare?yep but part time, hubby works long hrs (chef) and I do shift work, I try to work one of his days off and otherwise we have babysitters (plural!!)as our hrs are all over the place and we have no family in this country
5) what car do you drive? a Peugeot 5008, I love it!

Also, any info on having 3 generally really, what the jump from 2 to 3 has been like for you physically, eomotionally, financially.

My biggest concerns are money (we could "survive" but I would like more than that, holidays, treats etc), work: I love working but don't have any family nearby so am reliant on childcare, I'm worried about the logistics of working with 3 kids. And my own independence, I am quite an independent person, I enjoy working, I do things by myself, I just kinda imagine it being harder with 3 children...

Thanks!

Tbh going from 2 to 3 wasn't bad, now it's draining somedays as I have two tantruming little ones, but when DD2 starts pre-school in sept it should make things easier.

I would go mad if I didn't work, dh is gone from 9 til 10/11 at night, no family here so if I was with the kids all day by myself I would go crazy, but I'm lucky, we both work in the same place, my hrs, days, no of days are flexible and my boss has 3 herself (I went in at 5pm instead of 3pm one day so I could take DD1 to a party!!) if they need extra shifts to be covered I do my best to help, then I don't feel so bad when I'm restricted with childcare on one week!

Oh and I don't know whether it's cause I'm living in Ireland (3 is seems to be the 'normal' no)but going to hotels here with three kids isn't bad, trying to book a hotel room in England though I've found hard (possibly just where I'm looking though!) but we offen go to lanzarote on hol and find it not to bad getting an apt for all of us

 

[hel_5]

Oh just to add the only thing I find more difficult is when I meet up with my friend (she also has 3) and there is just the two of us, to the 6 kids.. I don't think we have had a proper conversation in years!!!!!

 

[hayz_baby]

Thanks for the thread. Mw I think we have briefly mentioned this to each other in the past. It's interesting to read how you all get on. There's a lot more for me then just the obvious in regards to a third (fear of gd) which is why we have decided to put children on the backburner for at least 5 years which will make me 30 oh 33 roughly, by which time ds1 will b 8 roughly and ds 2 will b 5 so both will b in school. We live next door to our school so a school run on no sleep should still be ok (heck I would probably feel comfortable with ds1 walking himself to school!)
I worry how it would financially too, ideally I would like to be married by then and have a nice family holiday plus a nice weekend away just me and oh.
Work wise is subject to change

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

1) what age gaps do you have? 22mths between my first 2 and then 7yrs between youngest 2. They are 9,8 and 14mths
2) how old are you? 27
3) what is your household income/disposable income (sorry! Understand if you miss this one!) I dont work, My OH earns less than 21k and we get Tax credits. We do not struggle more than the average person. We enjoy nice stuff but live within means.
4) do you work? If so what do you do about childcare? No,
5) what car do you drive? Ford Galaxy. IMO you need a bigger car with 3, especially when the older ones are no longer toddlers.