"Was this a planned baby?"

[Rymel12]

(Thinking out loud here) I find it funny that once you have one baby, after not that long people start asking you when you are going to have a second one. I have never said to anyone that we didnt want another baby so I find it even more weird now that we are starting to tell people, they consistently ask "was this a planned baby? Were you trying?" Even my own mother asked me this! I'm not one of those people who are easily offended by anything but it just seems like an odd question to ask and even more odd how often we are getting it. It's pretty average to have two kids and is it really anyone's business if we were trying or not? It's like, did I not seem excited enough about the announcement that people think it wasn't planned? What gives? Lol Anyone else having their second and getting this question?

 

[xxmyheartxx]

We have being asked this already, granted it's our 4th, but it's so rude, I don't see why people feel the need to ask! Even worse it was my mil who asked the question and has 4 kids herself!!! x

 

[bcos21]

I always get this. My favorite is. "do you mean, did I know that sex makes babies?" followed by an odd look lol

 

[BunnyN]

It doesn't actually bother me that much but I can see why other people would find it offensive. We usually just tell people straight out because otherwise you can tell they are wondering even when they don't ask lol. Our first wasn't exactly planned but since then they have been. This will be our 3rd close in age so it makes people wonder

 

[malia]

I've had so many people ask me this and it's baby #1!! I think it's so rude.

 

[PubMissus]

All of mine and the beards friends assume that ours was unplanned. So much so they make jokes about it!

My mother didn't even ask, his mother did.

Our marshmallow was very much wanted and planned, it's just we were lucky enough to catch as soon as; so no one really knew we were trying.

 

[2ducks]

People are asking out of curiosity not realizing that it really is an odd question. When they ask "were you trying" they are really asking "did you have timed intercourse where your partner ejaculated inside of you with the intention of getting KU?"

 

[LaFemmeBoheme]

People are very rude when it comes to enquiring about the inhabitants, planned or projected or previous or current, of your uterus!

I have had people assume all my three have different dads (1&2 have the same dad but different traits so 1&3 look more like full sibs)

I had people asked when I would give my (now ex) husband "one of his own" and tell me how lucky I was he had "taken us all on"!! As it happens, we tried to have a baby for 2.5 years.

Now I am pregnant from the first NTNP cycle of a new relationship and I *know* people will assume it is unplanned or callous (back to back relationships but NTNP from early on due to us being a bit older and both had issues with our exes and fertility).

The other question I am expecting is "Are you hoping to get a boy this time?"

As it happens, I would be happy with all girls or to have a boy!!!

 

[tinymumma]

I used to get this all the time when I was pregnant with my son. Not from family either but complete strangers! Both our families knew our son was very much planned. People in the street or on public transport would say congratulations, then came the "was it planned" and my favourite, "are you married"?! Sometimes I would just make up elaborate stories just to mess with people (eg: we plan on getting married if he can stay out of prison long enough ) I mean, yes, I was clearly young and didn't have a wedding ring on but we're living in the 21st century people! Is it so shocking to have a baby out of wedlock?!
Peoples common sense and social etiquette always goes out the window when you're pregnant. Random people touching your belly, saying you mustn't have far to go and you've only just entered the second Tri, or saying, are you sure it's not twins! I just let it all roll off because at the end of the day, all babies are miracles, no matter how they come to be

 

[DannaD]

I've been asked a lot, for my first baby!😂
I'm 26, own a house, been with OH for 10 years... I don't get people!

 

[Jessicahide]

The questions change depending on your age with ds1 i would get "Are you still with the dad?" Yes i am really boring...

Now i just get "are you mad?"


People are just stupid!

 

[BunnyN]

I know we are mad, lol.

 

[bettybee1]

When I was trying my self I used to ask everyone was it planned or were they trying only so I could get tips
I wouldn't be that offended!!!! It might be just innocence xxx

 

[kimmy04]

Haha I was 20 when I got pregnant with my first and I was in my 2nd year of university. People didn't even bother asking if it was planned since it was pretty obvious that it wasn't. With our 2nd we got asked this a lot more and we were married and done school bought a house etc. And she took months to conceive. This time people are also assuming it was planned but it definitely wasn't. Our family was complete with 2 kids but I guess the universe had different plans!

 

[Lucasmum]

I get asked all the time did you actually plan this "at your age"

Nope it wasnt planned yes it was a surprise though I think shock and nervous breakdown would better describe but now thats out the way yes its very much wanted.

I dont mind being asked if it was planned but when they add your age on it makes me feel like a dinosaur or something I'm 40 for the record

 

[Jencocoa]

I've never really been asked that. I was constantly asked if we were done having kids or if we were having another. After the third it was you're done having kids now right? Like we had 20 or something LOL. The only thing that really made me mad once was when someone asked if all three of my kids have the same father. They do but even if they didn't who cares and it's none of your business. Rude!