Welcome to 'Trying To Conceive Over 35'

[Grey Eyes]

Babywhisperer- yes, I would tell your dh, just because I have always been of the view to tell my dh everything....Maybe try to deliver it as a joint witness (not just you- you mentioned your dad saw it all happen as well) and that the ex-gf was behaving like a high school girl. Maybe deliver it less from the perspective of outraged femininity (where I"m at! LOL!) and more from the innapprpriate location and event for such behavior. I think your dh will understand more.

 

[babydust2me]

Okay, so this was weird...I was just standing and all of a sudden felt a lot of fluid coming out. Went to the bathroom and it was totally watery but brown. I'm assuming this is just the end of AF but I don't know if this is a sign that I may ovulate earlier??? Should I put this in my chart? Still need to get the mucinex~any thoughts on this??? thanks ladies!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Okay, so this was weird...I was just standing and all of a sudden felt a lot of fluid coming out. Went to the bathroom and it was totally watery but brown. I'm assuming this is just the end of AF but I don't know if this is a sign that I may ovulate earlier??? Should I put this in my chart? Still need to get the mucinex~any thoughts on this??? thanks ladies!

I am thinking if your cm is already watery then you may just be super fertile this month, e.g., tons of great cm......have you been doing anything different than the last few months? And yes, I would add it to your chart as it may be something to keep an eye on

 

[babydust2me]

Grey Eyes, The only thing different is that I've cut way back on the caffeine. I am on no carbs right now which I do every few months just to maintain my weight. Other than that, nothing new...

So, I cut back to 2 cups of coffee today, tomorrow will be one and then I'll be off it completely on Monday. Anyway, I fell asleep at 7:30 pm! Could have kept going until the am! Had no idea that was having such an effect on me! craziness...

 

[Grey Eyes]

Grey Eyes, The only thing different is that I've cut way back on the caffeine. I am on no carbs right now which I do every few months just to maintain my weight. Other than that, nothing new...

So, I cut back to 2 cups of coffee today, tomorrow will be one and then I'll be off it completely on Monday. Anyway, I fell asleep at 7:30 pm! Could have kept going until the am! Had no idea that was having such an effect on me! craziness...

Very awesome on the caffeine! I did that the month of my bfp too...Oh and I recently read somewhere that cutting back on carbs helps to improve egg quality? I am not sure how or if this would affect cm or not but Anything is wrth a try! And tell me about it. I cut out potatoes from my diet years ago lol! I eat potatoes maybe 2-3 times a year is all and try to avoid white breads, etc. My butt thanked me by dropping about, I don't know, a billion sizes! It's hard being a woman!

 

[Philomena]

O my heck, I am tired! lol! I cooked dinner, a combination of adult and kid food- that way everyone is happy and I don't have to fight children to eat I don't have the energy for that Anyway I was bad and I ate steak and macaroni and cheese ...I can feel the fat soaking into my backside as we speak Well, not literally, and at this point I couldn't care less I feel like a nice warm soaking bath and then bed! I have done my school for the day, so think I will hit the hay early tonight!

Jess- don't let your thesis keep ya forever!

Terry- hope you are having a good sleep and those are gearing for the attack! Awesome about the hpt's btw! And 3$ for CBE's! Whata friend to have! Maybe test again this week to see if your lh is surging again- that is if your temp doesn't rise. I am expecting it to though!

Ali- how are ya? Hope you are kicking this cold int he butt and getting back to the non-cold-medicine-saturated part of life! Awesome stuff to have on hand though I am going to research how to improve your egg quality, seemed like you mentioned that once...

Babywhisperer- where in heck are ya?

Babydust- Got my eye on that chart!

Alin-


TwoToGo- how's the family? Getting better I hope!

Hi ladies Sorry I have been MIA it's been a crazy week with starting the new job.

Coy - is still quite cozy huh. Well I can't imagine the pain and discomfort you are in, but it must be a good feeling to know that each day you are closer than the day before. As far as your diet...listen to your body. You probably wanted steak b/c you needed iron and fat. You probably wanted the mac n cheese b/c you needed the calcium and yes more fat. It's not like you're eating this every day, you are very conscientious and eat very well. As for the dd's, you should install nanny cam's in their room and bathroom to see what actually happens to cause their wake of destruction! I bet it would be entertaining as hell.

Jess - how's the thesis coming along? I know how you feel about falling asleep when dh should be nudging you for some I have been working longer hrs and had to be out for work 2 nights this week and I'd just come home a crash...but af is still lingering so no harm no foul.

TerriLou, did you get that in? Looks like good timing!!

Alin, Twotogo, Babydust how's things with you lovely ladies?

Philo - how's the baby feeling? Any updates on the home front?

Ali - I'm happy you had some much needed and deserved R&R while in Canada. It sucks that you came home with a cold. My Mom has had pericarditis so she flies wearing a mask b/c the air quality is so poor and littered with germs. But the cold is your body's way of saying that something is out of balance. I agree with Coy that you need to get the diet in check, a full rainbow of colors should be present in your daily diet, especially the greens. Have you ever tried juicing? When I was at my healthiest I started my day with warm water with lemon, and an hr later either a fresh juice of greens or I made a special Metagenics unltra inflam shake (it's a medical protein powder with a ton of stuff to help combat inflammation due to Lyme) and I'd add a scoop of Amazon Amazing Greens chocolate flavored powder. It kept me regular, full of energy and just feeling less polluted. When I get sick it is a combo of poor diet, sleep and burning the candle at both ends. You have been under a lot of stress with work, ivf, traveling...try some yoga or even just 20min of stretching with deep breathing...trust me I need to do this too and have had no time. Let's motivate each other to find the time for the healthy stuff. I need a kick in the ass too.

Afm, (sigh) it's been a funky week. On the one hand it was exciting and nerve wracking to start a new job, in a new firm, new building, new people, new commute route, and new schedule. But...I always want to run before I can walk. I have high expectations of myself and I know the first week is all about getting back up on Bloomberg, trading platforms and applications, paperwork to activate my licenses at the new firm...basically a lot of admin and IT stuff...so I was frustrated and impatient. A news release went out on Bloomberg News about our move to this firm so flying below radar for a while went completely out the window. I know why firm's do it, the pr opportunity to market the firms growth is too good to pass up, but it also meant everyone knew I left one firm and went to another. I'd rather not be a topic of news or conversation...especially in an industry as small as mine, and one in which my Father works as well.

We also had to be out for 2 nights this week. One was just a group dinner to talk about our strategy of growing our team and how we were going to build a better mouse trap to separate us from our competition. The next night was a fundraiser for a 9/11 charity that raises money for literacy. It's a charity that is close to my family since it's in the name of a family friend who passed on 9/11. It's heavily attended by people in my industry so everyone knows each other. One annoying part was that the Bloomberg news article hit that day so everyone there knew. It felt like a spotlight was on us and I hate that...b/c no matter what you will always have people talking sht and being negative...no matter what the news...but especially if it's good.

The other annoying this about this event is that my dh's ex gf was there like last she was 2yrs ago when dh and I first started dating. She is not in my business but is friends with the family that runs the charity and knew I would be there as my name is on the invite b/c I'm on the auction committee. So she showed up 2 yrs ago and basically walked around the room looking for me and kept her eye on me all night...even my coworkers wondered who this girl was who wasn't in our industry that was eye stalking and following me around the room by herself. Well this time she was at the event with friends and the eye stalking was ramped up to pointing me out to her friends, whispering and giggling. So my Dad and I, my coworker, and a few clients were standing around the silent auction tables talking and getting to know each other as most of us don't meet often since a lot of them are from out of state and we just talk over the phone, so this was a prime opportunity to put faces with names and voices. At one point I could feel eyes on me and I turn my head. There is the ex gf, all 5ft of her in a circle of girls taking turns talking close, turning around to look at me then turning to talk and giggle. This went on for a while and no matter where the ex gf went in the room she was pointing me out to her cronies. I was doing my best to block it out as this was not the place or time to have a confrontation and I was there with clients that I was meeting for the first time. If you knew me you would know I have a zero tolerance policy for high school bs, and this was hs bs at it's finest. I wanted to catch the 9:15 train home from the city so I could be home by 10 so we decided to hit the bathroom on our way out. I kid you not...I am walking down the hall to this bathroom when the ex gf and her equally vertically challenged friend are walking towards me. They see me, look like deer in headlights, stop dead in their tracks, turn their back to me and pretend to be looking at something on the wall as I walk by...btw there is nothing on the wall. My Dad sees this and waits for me to come out of the bathroom. He asks if I knew these 2 girls and I told him which one was the ex gf. He shakes his head and comments on the immaturity and lack of sophistication. This is a fundraiser in the name of a 9/11 victim that she and my family knew, and it is sponsored by the victim's family that are close with my parents and funded by my industry. This is a night full of emotion, somber speeches, and the goal is to raise money for school supplies, books, and libraries for economically challenged families and communities. The high school antics have no place being in that room.

We walk out and take the elevator down to the lobby of the hotel in Columbus Circle, and we meet a banker from JPM that my Dad and coworker knew so we chat for a few minutes outside while we wait to leave. I hear giggling and so does my coworker. We turn around and there is the ex gf and her friends huddled turning their heads to at me and smoking cigarettes.

Sorry to vent, but this was such typical high school girl nonsense and I don't know what she expected from me. It was not the time or place for me to go up to her to introduce myself. She certainly wasn't coming up to me to introduce herself to me. Instead she chose to point me out to all her friends and talk about me. It was awkward, uncomfortable and just turned me off. This is the girl my dh misses being friends with? I know he has never seen her in this light. This was behavior girls reserve for when they are out among their friends. If she was 100% over him, and happy for him and really wanted to meet me, why did she behave this way instead of coming up to me and introducing herself. We both know who we are, but I was with clients, coworkers and my Dad...not the time for me to introduce myself.

I ignored her and didn't even make eye contact and haven't told my dh about seeing her or her antics b/c he will say that I'm exaggerating. The sad thing is that my Dad saw this whole exchange and was disheartened by the fact that my dh wants me to meet this girl and hang out w/ her and be ok with her hanging out w/ my dh. This isn't something he wants to have me deal with when we are this age, trying to start a family, and should be focusing on more important things like our first year of marriage. She is negative energy. Hubs will probably not accept that she behaved this way, he will wave it off as he only sees the good in everyone. He will down play it and say it's just girls being girls.

What would you do? Btw I didn't drink a drop of alcohol that night, and she's lucky b/c if I had I might have walked up to her and asked her if she knew me b/c she was sure watching me enough. Again I apologize for venting but I need some advice on how I could have handled it better, if I should tell dh and how I handle meeting her when I do...b/c we both know we have seen each other at this event and I can't be fake and act like I didn't see her or her behavior.

Ok vent over. Need to get to my errands. Af should be almost 100% gone by tomorrow. Looking back I wonder if I ovu. I got a smiley face, and temp surge but never felt it where the previous month I had 2 days of pain.

Man, at 36 I thought the high school bs would be behind me.

Hi Babywhisperer!
I'm sorry this has happened to you.... I read this post earlier, but have had a crazy busy day and have been thinking about it in order to respond....
I was wondering how close your dad and your DH are? the reason I ask, is because I wonder whether it would be beneficial for your dad to have a quiet word with him about what HE saw and how he saw it affected you? It might, in a subtle way, give credibility to what you have been saying all along and because it comes from someone not you, maybe someone he respects, then perhaps he will give it more serious thought?
Your husband sounds like he just wants everyone to rub along nicely, and I agree that men in general are oblivious to the machinations of ex girlfriends and ulterior motives.... they just never see it until it's too late. She clearly wishes she was you, and she clearly wishes it was her he was trying to impregnate!! (chuckle) ..... We all see it. Your dad saw it. You just need DH to see the 'possibility' of it.... in the end, it was completely inappropriate and totally the wrong venue for her to be acting that way. I think the way YOU handled the situation was classy and I'm so proud of you! I can be a bit of a hot-head, and probably would have just stared her down.

My DD in Grade 4 (yes, the story is relevant!) had two best friends and the three of them did everything together. Over the summer she didn't see them much, and when they returned in Grade 5, my daughter had gotten taller, slimmer and found her groove in school. She was popular with teachers, and other students and was doing well on all fronts. The two girls she thought she was besties with, however, started bullying her and making her life at school difficult. Bumping into her in the hallway, pushing her in the door, making snide comments and whatnot. The best I could figure was that they didn't like that she was suddenly doing so well and they were jealous of her. She always handled herself well, and never cried at school, saving those tears for me when she came home to relate the latest done to her.... As a mother, I was trying to figure out what she could do to make it stop without resorting to anything physical, or anything that would escalate things and make it worse. You know what? My grade 10 drama teacher popped into my head and an exercise we did in drama class was going to prove itself invaluable.
My drama teacher was trying to teach us about "Status".... that invisible something that makes you move out of the way of someone else coming towards you on the sidewalk, or drop your eyes, so you don't make eye contact.... those kinds of things... the lesson was in the context of being on stage and how you have stage presence and how to convey 'power and prestige' with your body language or how to do the opposite and it all had to do with this invisible "Status" thing....
SO I told DD that she needed to learn how to stare them down. I said, "you don't say a word to them, you just stare at them. Don't underestimate the power of a strong stare, and only use it when necessary. What makes it work is that no matter what, you cannot be the first to break the stare. Given long enough, they will get uncomfortable and look away, and that is the moment when you have won the 'Status'. It is a weapon, and a powerful one at that."
Well, if she didn't start using it straight away and almost right away started seeing results. They would glance over at her and she would stare them down. They got very uncomfortable very quickly and would glance away. I was so proud of her...... although after a few weeks, we had to have a chat about her leaving them alone because she was continuing even after they had started to leave her alone, and I mentioned that if she continued, it would be the same as what they had done to her....
So she reigned it in but has kept the skill and pulls it out whenever necessary. I am pleased to say that she has never had trouble with bullys again. It's amazing what a stare can do.
Babywhisperer, I think the next function you end up at with this ex girlfriend, you should harness the power of the stare.... seriously. It is crazy how well it works, and she'll feel it across the room. If she looks at you, then turns and giggles with her school friends, keep staring at her, and her level of discomfort will increase. You don't have to attach a mean look or anything to it. Just a nice stern stare or just the hint of a knowing smile. Whatever you do, you can never be the first to break eye contact... that is the only rule.... but I promise you, it will work....

 

[Philomena]

AFM:
Thanks for asking about me ladies! I'm in better spirits these days, and I've been getting a lot of 'nesting' in!
DH has been better, and we are slowly finding our own, new groove.... Babes is moving around lots and other than heartburn and the occasional sore underbelly ligaments loosening, I am feeling great!
I've convinced my friend to hang out with me at our YMCA once or twice a week, which has a lovely pool, so I can get in some exercise (not formal) in the water and a visit at the same time. Walking right now creates a stitch just under my belly and I'm sure it's just the way the ligaments are being pulled by my moon belly.... so in water, I would think I should be fine, and can stretch and move and whatnot and be supported and stitch free!

Last night was my monthly bookclub. We take turns hosting it and last night we went to a house in Langdon, which is just a little town just outside of Calgary. Four of us carpooled and it was a fun road trip (really only about 40 mins)....
I'm just over 28 weeks right now, and I'm not really liking to be out of the city much, but Langdon isn't that far and I wasn't driving alone.
On the way back, it was late and as we left the house, it was a thick fog covering everything.... I said it was like a Halloween movie of the week, four women driving alone on the highway in the fog, one of them pregnant.... it was a joke all night about what if I went into labour.... *grin* .... it was very creepy! but I wasn't worried. In the car with me, I had a doctor and a nurse!! My doctor friend said she was fully prepared and had a fully equipped obstetrics bag in the back!! It was a lot of fun! I love my bookclub ladies! I said I was very happy if this baby would keep cooking until AFTER Christmas, please!!

I had a lot of pages to catch up on, so I don't remember who was asking just now, about improving egg quality, but I did want to throw my 2 cents in... on top of what other people have said, I know that I read somewhere (I will have to try and find it again) that tapioca pudding was good for helping eggs to mature and grow and be all ready for mixing it up with the swimmers.... I did eat organic tapioca that I made myself every morning the month I got my BFP.... So even though I can't say I know it definitively made a difference for me, I figure it can't hurt to add it to the regime!

I hope this finds all my BnB ladies doing well....

phil.

 

[Babywhisperer]

O my heck, I am tired! lol! I cooked dinner, a combination of adult and kid food- that way everyone is happy and I don't have to fight children to eat I don't have the energy for that Anyway I was bad and I ate steak and macaroni and cheese ...I can feel the fat soaking into my backside as we speak Well, not literally, and at this point I couldn't care less I feel like a nice warm soaking bath and then bed! I have done my school for the day, so think I will hit the hay early tonight!

Jess- don't let your thesis keep ya forever!

Terry- hope you are having a good sleep and those are gearing for the attack! Awesome about the hpt's btw! And 3$ for CBE's! Whata friend to have! Maybe test again this week to see if your lh is surging again- that is if your temp doesn't rise. I am expecting it to though!

Ali- how are ya? Hope you are kicking this cold int he butt and getting back to the non-cold-medicine-saturated part of life! Awesome stuff to have on hand though I am going to research how to improve your egg quality, seemed like you mentioned that once...

Babywhisperer- where in heck are ya?

Babydust- Got my eye on that chart!

Alin-


TwoToGo- how's the family? Getting better I hope!

Hi ladies Sorry I have been MIA it's been a crazy week with starting the new job.

Coy - is still quite cozy huh. Well I can't imagine the pain and discomfort you are in, but it must be a good feeling to know that each day you are closer than the day before. As far as your diet...listen to your body. You probably wanted steak b/c you needed iron and fat. You probably wanted the mac n cheese b/c you needed the calcium and yes more fat. It's not like you're eating this every day, you are very conscientious and eat very well. As for the dd's, you should install nanny cam's in their room and bathroom to see what actually happens to cause their wake of destruction! I bet it would be entertaining as hell.

Jess - how's the thesis coming along? I know how you feel about falling asleep when dh should be nudging you for some I have been working longer hrs and had to be out for work 2 nights this week and I'd just come home a crash...but af is still lingering so no harm no foul.

TerriLou, did you get that in? Looks like good timing!!

Alin, Twotogo, Babydust how's things with you lovely ladies?

Philo - how's the baby feeling? Any updates on the home front?

Ali - I'm happy you had some much needed and deserved R&R while in Canada. It sucks that you came home with a cold. My Mom has had pericarditis so she flies wearing a mask b/c the air quality is so poor and littered with germs. But the cold is your body's way of saying that something is out of balance. I agree with Coy that you need to get the diet in check, a full rainbow of colors should be present in your daily diet, especially the greens. Have you ever tried juicing? When I was at my healthiest I started my day with warm water with lemon, and an hr later either a fresh juice of greens or I made a special Metagenics unltra inflam shake (it's a medical protein powder with a ton of stuff to help combat inflammation due to Lyme) and I'd add a scoop of Amazon Amazing Greens chocolate flavored powder. It kept me regular, full of energy and just feeling less polluted. When I get sick it is a combo of poor diet, sleep and burning the candle at both ends. You have been under a lot of stress with work, ivf, traveling...try some yoga or even just 20min of stretching with deep breathing...trust me I need to do this too and have had no time. Let's motivate each other to find the time for the healthy stuff. I need a kick in the ass too.

Afm, (sigh) it's been a funky week. On the one hand it was exciting and nerve wracking to start a new job, in a new firm, new building, new people, new commute route, and new schedule. But...I always want to run before I can walk. I have high expectations of myself and I know the first week is all about getting back up on Bloomberg, trading platforms and applications, paperwork to activate my licenses at the new firm...basically a lot of admin and IT stuff...so I was frustrated and impatient. A news release went out on Bloomberg News about our move to this firm so flying below radar for a while went completely out the window. I know why firm's do it, the pr opportunity to market the firms growth is too good to pass up, but it also meant everyone knew I left one firm and went to another. I'd rather not be a topic of news or conversation...especially in an industry as small as mine, and one in which my Father works as well.

We also had to be out for 2 nights this week. One was just a group dinner to talk about our strategy of growing our team and how we were going to build a better mouse trap to separate us from our competition. The next night was a fundraiser for a 9/11 charity that raises money for literacy. It's a charity that is close to my family since it's in the name of a family friend who passed on 9/11. It's heavily attended by people in my industry so everyone knows each other. One annoying part was that the Bloomberg news article hit that day so everyone there knew. It felt like a spotlight was on us and I hate that...b/c no matter what you will always have people talking sht and being negative...no matter what the news...but especially if it's good.

The other annoying this about this event is that my dh's ex gf was there like last she was 2yrs ago when dh and I first started dating. She is not in my business but is friends with the family that runs the charity and knew I would be there as my name is on the invite b/c I'm on the auction committee. So she showed up 2 yrs ago and basically walked around the room looking for me and kept her eye on me all night...even my coworkers wondered who this girl was who wasn't in our industry that was eye stalking and following me around the room by herself. Well this time she was at the event with friends and the eye stalking was ramped up to pointing me out to her friends, whispering and giggling. So my Dad and I, my coworker, and a few clients were standing around the silent auction tables talking and getting to know each other as most of us don't meet often since a lot of them are from out of state and we just talk over the phone, so this was a prime opportunity to put faces with names and voices. At one point I could feel eyes on me and I turn my head. There is the ex gf, all 5ft of her in a circle of girls taking turns talking close, turning around to look at me then turning to talk and giggle. This went on for a while and no matter where the ex gf went in the room she was pointing me out to her cronies. I was doing my best to block it out as this was not the place or time to have a confrontation and I was there with clients that I was meeting for the first time. If you knew me you would know I have a zero tolerance policy for high school bs, and this was hs bs at it's finest. I wanted to catch the 9:15 train home from the city so I could be home by 10 so we decided to hit the bathroom on our way out. I kid you not...I am walking down the hall to this bathroom when the ex gf and her equally vertically challenged friend are walking towards me. They see me, look like deer in headlights, stop dead in their tracks, turn their back to me and pretend to be looking at something on the wall as I walk by...btw there is nothing on the wall. My Dad sees this and waits for me to come out of the bathroom. He asks if I knew these 2 girls and I told him which one was the ex gf. He shakes his head and comments on the immaturity and lack of sophistication. This is a fundraiser in the name of a 9/11 victim that she and my family knew, and it is sponsored by the victim's family that are close with my parents and funded by my industry. This is a night full of emotion, somber speeches, and the goal is to raise money for school supplies, books, and libraries for economically challenged families and communities. The high school antics have no place being in that room.

We walk out and take the elevator down to the lobby of the hotel in Columbus Circle, and we meet a banker from JPM that my Dad and coworker knew so we chat for a few minutes outside while we wait to leave. I hear giggling and so does my coworker. We turn around and there is the ex gf and her friends huddled turning their heads to at me and smoking cigarettes.

Sorry to vent, but this was such typical high school girl nonsense and I don't know what she expected from me. It was not the time or place for me to go up to her to introduce myself. She certainly wasn't coming up to me to introduce herself to me. Instead she chose to point me out to all her friends and talk about me. It was awkward, uncomfortable and just turned me off. This is the girl my dh misses being friends with? I know he has never seen her in this light. This was behavior girls reserve for when they are out among their friends. If she was 100% over him, and happy for him and really wanted to meet me, why did she behave this way instead of coming up to me and introducing herself. We both know who we are, but I was with clients, coworkers and my Dad...not the time for me to introduce myself.

I ignored her and didn't even make eye contact and haven't told my dh about seeing her or her antics b/c he will say that I'm exaggerating. The sad thing is that my Dad saw this whole exchange and was disheartened by the fact that my dh wants me to meet this girl and hang out w/ her and be ok with her hanging out w/ my dh. This isn't something he wants to have me deal with when we are this age, trying to start a family, and should be focusing on more important things like our first year of marriage. She is negative energy. Hubs will probably not accept that she behaved this way, he will wave it off as he only sees the good in everyone. He will down play it and say it's just girls being girls.

What would you do? Btw I didn't drink a drop of alcohol that night, and she's lucky b/c if I had I might have walked up to her and asked her if she knew me b/c she was sure watching me enough. Again I apologize for venting but I need some advice on how I could have handled it better, if I should tell dh and how I handle meeting her when I do...b/c we both know we have seen each other at this event and I can't be fake and act like I didn't see her or her behavior.

Ok vent over. Need to get to my errands. Af should be almost 100% gone by tomorrow. Looking back I wonder if I ovu. I got a smiley face, and temp surge but never felt it where the previous month I had 2 days of pain.

Man, at 36 I thought the high school bs would be behind me.

Hi Babywhisperer!
I'm sorry this has happened to you.... I read this post earlier, but have had a crazy busy day and have been thinking about it in order to respond....
I was wondering how close your dad and your DH are? the reason I ask, is because I wonder whether it would be beneficial for your dad to have a quiet word with him about what HE saw and how he saw it affected you? It might, in a subtle way, give credibility to what you have been saying all along and because it comes from someone not you, maybe someone he respects, then perhaps he will give it more serious thought?
Your husband sounds like he just wants everyone to rub along nicely, and I agree that men in general are oblivious to the machinations of ex girlfriends and ulterior motives.... they just never see it until it's too late. She clearly wishes she was you, and she clearly wishes it was her he was trying to impregnate!! (chuckle) ..... We all see it. Your dad saw it. You just need DH to see the 'possibility' of it.... in the end, it was completely inappropriate and totally the wrong venue for her to be acting that way. I think the way YOU handled the situation was classy and I'm so proud of you! I can be a bit of a hot-head, and probably would have just stared her down.

My DD in Grade 4 (yes, the story is relevant!) had two best friends and the three of them did everything together. Over the summer she didn't see them much, and when they returned in Grade 5, my daughter had gotten taller, slimmer and found her groove in school. She was popular with teachers, and other students and was doing well on all fronts. The two girls she thought she was besties with, however, started bullying her and making her life at school difficult. Bumping into her in the hallway, pushing her in the door, making snide comments and whatnot. The best I could figure was that they didn't like that she was suddenly doing so well and they were jealous of her. She always handled herself well, and never cried at school, saving those tears for me when she came home to relate the latest done to her.... As a mother, I was trying to figure out what she could do to make it stop without resorting to anything physical, or anything that would escalate things and make it worse. You know what? My grade 10 drama teacher popped into my head and an exercise we did in drama class was going to prove itself invaluable.
My drama teacher was trying to teach us about "Status".... that invisible something that makes you move out of the way of someone else coming towards you on the sidewalk, or drop your eyes, so you don't make eye contact.... those kinds of things... the lesson was in the context of being on stage and how you have stage presence and how to convey 'power and prestige' with your body language or how to do the opposite and it all had to do with this invisible "Status" thing....
SO I told DD that she needed to learn how to stare them down. I said, "you don't say a word to them, you just stare at them. Don't underestimate the power of a strong stare, and only use it when necessary. What makes it work is that no matter what, you cannot be the first to break the stare. Given long enough, they will get uncomfortable and look away, and that is the moment when you have won the 'Status'. It is a weapon, and a powerful one at that."
Well, if she didn't start using it straight away and almost right away started seeing results. They would glance over at her and she would stare them down. They got very uncomfortable very quickly and would glance away. I was so proud of her...... although after a few weeks, we had to have a chat about her leaving them alone because she was continuing even after they had started to leave her alone, and I mentioned that if she continued, it would be the same as what they had done to her....
So she reigned it in but has kept the skill and pulls it out whenever necessary. I am pleased to say that she has never had trouble with bullys again. It's amazing what a stare can do.
Babywhisperer, I think the next function you end up at with this ex girlfriend, you should harness the power of the stare.... seriously. It is crazy how well it works, and she'll feel it across the room. If she looks at you, then turns and giggles with her school friends, keep staring at her, and her level of discomfort will increase. You don't have to attach a mean look or anything to it. Just a nice stern stare or just the hint of a knowing smile. Whatever you do, you can never be the first to break eye contact... that is the only rule.... but I promise you, it will work....

You are very wise and I sincerely appreciate your support and advice. I will have to think about involving my Dad as he thinks the whole sitch is childish...from dh wanting to be friends w/ her, wanting me to meet her, to her bad behavior. I tried not to look at her as my stomach was in knots for a few reasons and her behavior was exacerbating it. I started a new job, my whole industry had just read the article about us so I was in the spotlight as it was, I had my Dad introducing me to people he worked with years ago, and my coworker introducing me to accounts of his that I will be covering and they are the biggest accounts in my industry so I was nervous and had to make a great first impression. I'd see her out of the corner of my eye as she always put herself there, and I just ignored her...trust me this was the ballroom of the Mandarin Oriental in NYC, the room was large enough for her to have been elsewhere. Walking past her on my way to the bathroom was the only opportunity for me to have stared her down but she turned 90 degrees w/ her friend to stare at the wall and huddle up. I wonder why they didn't keep walking past me. My guess, they were just in the bathroom talking about me and when they walked out and saw me and they were stunned, b/c they did look like deer in headlights. It was classic high school bs. The good thing is that she hasn't texted my dh since. She probably thinks I came home and told him I saw her or told him how she behaved...so at the very least she was expecting a benign text from him saying " I heard you saw Sue"...or worse "I heard you saw Sue and you were walking around pointing her out to your friends and talking about her making her feel uncomfortable". But neither happened b/c I haven't said anything to him yet. He may text her at some point soon since we had tentative plans to see her on Friday, but we made other plans to see a concert...and I bet if he does she will not mention seeing me at the event b/c the last time I saw her there 2 yrs ago she never told him either...and that fact just made me feel she wasn't authentic, why not tell him she saw me?

I'm trying to put myself in her shoes. She was with him for a long time, she was a part of his family and friends lives, and friends with him so she got to hang out with him and talk to him whenever she wanted. Now she hasn't seen him since he and I started dating. She defriended him on FB b/c he cut her out and told him her texts and behavior were causing problems in our relationship so please stop. She flipped out and went off on him saying things like oh now that you have a gf you don't need me as a friend....she was hurt. To make matters worse we were going on ski trips, trips to Jamaica...and he put pics on FB and she would see so she defriended him b/c it was hard to see. She still sees some of his family and friends and they all know how I feel about her so I'm sure she knows. I have the dh, family, friends and life she once had, lost and probably wanted back. How could she feel anything other than jealousy or hate for me. And dh is sensitive to all of her feelings b/c they went thru a lot while together, and both lost their fathers at a young age. Without knowing her behavior the other night, he just thinks he can't be friends w/ her b/c I feel uncomfortable about it. He doesn't have the full picture. If I bring it up he will get defensive and think I'm being self serving. But if dh gets a chat from my Dad, he will feel uncomfortable.

Ugh, pics just popped up in mine and dh's feed on FB...the ex gf was out at a bar w/ his best friend last night and she posted pics...I swear she posts pics to his brothers and friends FB so dh sees them all out and having fun, drinking, laughing....ugh.

 

[Grey Eyes]

Phil- the book club sounds like loads of fun! I am glad you had some girl-time The trip sounded fun and like you got some much needed laughs out of it Great idea to travel with a doctor, a nurse, and an obstetrics bag lol, I remember researching tapioca as well! From what I read it helps eggs mature and aids in proper ovulation; most women who eat it regularly have multiple pregnancies, e.g., twins, etc.

Babywhisperer- Re: the Status thing Phil mentioned. I'd say the ex-gf turning the 90 degrees from you indicates you already have a status! You should post some pics of your own on FB, lol, you and dh cuddling, you and dh laughing...etc. You know though you don't have to. He's your man, he's in your bed, he's going to be the father of your children- she can take a flying leap, I understand it is more his perspective that you are concerned about Your tough, I know you and dh will find a way through this. Maybe it will just take him getting upset at you but realizing being friends with her is damaging to you?

Jess- how are you today? I'm gonna go check out your chart.........

Ali- where are you? I miss you bnb buddy.................

TwoToGo- I see your "thank you's" so know you must have been on...how are you feeling?

Babydust- how are you today? I am glad you figured out how to post your chart!

Terry- I'm going to go take a look at your temps for today- got my fx'd for ya!

Angel- you are MIA lady! How are you?

 

[Grey Eyes]

AFM- still no baby yet lol, I have been waiting and hoping! And walking, and everything else I keep getting the odd ocassional contraction, but *sigh*........Miserable sleeping at night, just uncomfortable (not complaining, just relating ) aching everything, peeing every half hour.... At least after babes is born and I am totally exhausted and sleepless and aching everywhere I'll have that gorgeous little face to look at!

 

[Philomena]

@ Babywhisperer.... the whole thing IS childish.... I think you handled it perfectly well, but it's not right that you have to bear the brunt of this thing on your own. You know your people better than any of us... trust your gut. I only suggested your dad, because sometimes if our DH's hear what we've been saying from someone else, they actually hear it!

Coy, how are you feeling?? We are coming up on your due date and I'm wondering if this baby is going to be late!!?!! We are all waiting with baited breath! My guess of arrival has come and gone and here you still are! So maybe another 5-19 days then.... *sigh*
I can remember how hard it was to wait for my daughter when I was that close! I hope this baby of mine is on or before her due date! And YOURS, TOO!!!

Where is everybody else today??

 

[Grey Eyes]

@ Babywhisperer.... the whole thing IS childish.... I think you handled it perfectly well, but it's not right that you have to bear the brunt of this thing on your own. You know your people better than any of us... trust your gut. I only suggested your dad, because sometimes if our DH's hear what we've been saying from someone else, they actually hear it!

Coy, how are you feeling?? We are coming up on your due date and I'm wondering if this baby is going to be late!!?!! We are all waiting with baited breath! My guess of arrival has come and gone and here you still are! So maybe another 5-19 days then.... *sigh*
I can remember how hard it was to wait for my daughter when I was that close! I hope this baby of mine is on or before her due date! And YOURS, TOO!!!

Where is everybody else today??

OMG don't say 19 days! Lol! I am already worrried about her being late I soooo want to have her NOW! I can't wait. Even with all the pain and drama, I can't wait

 

[Philomena]

I was so just teasing!!!! I would think with this being #3 there is no way you will be 2 weeks late!!!!

you can get me back on Jan 4 when I'm still sporting my moon belly!!

 

[alicatt]

Question for Ali: how long has it taken for your trigger shots to test out? And did you trigger with Ovidrel?

Hey!

It usually takes me about 7-8 days for it to be gone. I'm pretty sure it was Ovidrel, I think it makes a difference what the dosage was. I did 10,000 IU of hCG. Some Dr's use 5,000 IU, which I am thinking would be out of the system faster.

 

[Grey Eyes]

Phil- I will get you back then in that case! Yes, the moon phases play a part in my opinion and we are fast approaching NEW MOON! YAY! But my second dd was almost two weeks late!

Terry- Just checking out your chart...If you ovulated on the 14th then we should see a rise in temp tomorrow I am thinking...I'm gonna be looking tonight because of our time difference! You must have, um, pounced yesterday? Great timing!

FirstTry- awesome, you're 7dpo and temps are nice and high! How do you feel??

Jess- 5dpo and your temps are nice and high too! Have you been working out or just writing, writing, writing your thesis? I bet you'll be glad once you graduate- then you'll feel...bereft! You'll want school back

Ali- I've missed you! Don't leave yet, I'm chatty! lol, how are you?

 

[Grey Eyes]

...My dh is watching the movie I rented for him...Underworld:The Awakening. Yuk. Why do I rent stuff like that for him to watch? lol! I don't mind them once in a while but most often I do not care for anything with ware-wolves...childhood issues lol! But he does watch chick flicks with me though so I have to be fair.

I feel like taking a nap but am thinking of putting up the rest of the Halloween decorations outside for the girls. Some inflatable pumpkins, etc..we have a giant spiderweb dh always strings on the garage, then he builds this huge hideous monster (our giant life-size santa clause all dressed up in monster costume ) and places him by the front steps with a strobe light. Kids freak and run

 

[jm1355]

Hey Coy!

Every day I check in expecting you to say you are on your way to the hospital to deliver your bundle of joy. I wonder when she is going to make her appearance? Is DH on edge waiting for contractions to start? It is so awesome that he puts things out for the girls in terms of decorations. My dad used to do that for us when we were small and I loved it. I did it for my son, but it is not nearly as awesome to him as it used to be. He will be 16 years old in nine days. I want him to be six again!!

I went to the gym yesterday and worked out for about two hours. And today I worked out before Church for about two hours. But now I am back at home...planning on writing, writing, writing!

All I have left is my methodology, results, conclusion, discusion, and introduction...that might sound like a lot but there is no research involved with those chapters. So, today's goal is to complete the methodology chapter.

My temps are in a good place. Every month I am hopeful. I didn't do a lot in the way of tracking this month...only temps. Maybe next month I will gt back on my OPKs. Or perhaps even have the procedure done where they check for any blockages in your falopian tubes etc. As much as I want another baby, I just haven't been real motivated these past few weeks. My thesis is very time consuming. But, I am still hopeful that God will bless me with another baby soon!!

Ok...well, I hope everyone is doing well...

~~Jess

 

[Grey Eyes]

Hey Jess! Glad to see you on! You and Ali have just abandoned us on here ..LOL! JK, I know you are both busy- poor Ali has been sick too I understand about the ttc-- when your time is consumed with something else it is difficult to focus. That's when ya get your bfp

Yes, my dh is a big kid sometimes lol, he loves things like Batman figures, Halloween decorating, he plays with the girls...last night they were watching the very very scaarrry Scooby Doo movie and he kept sneaking into their room to grab them and scare the wads out of them They would scream of course, but they loved it

 

[alicatt]

Okay, so this was weird...I was just standing and all of a sudden felt a lot of fluid coming out. Went to the bathroom and it was totally watery but brown. I'm assuming this is just the end of AF but I don't know if this is a sign that I may ovulate earlier??? Should I put this in my chart? Still need to get the mucinex~any thoughts on this??? thanks ladies!

I just got some mucinex at Target (the up and up brand) it was way cheaper than the mucinex brand. I'm not using it for fertility, but for my miserable cold. I'm not sure what the dose you need for CM, but I've been taking 2 tablets (400mg each) every 8 hours. They don't want you to take more than 2400mg in a 24 hour period. The mucinex brand comes in 600mg tablets, and they suggest you take 2 of these every 12 hours for chest congestion (so I'm basically taking the same amount in a 24 hour period, just at different times because of the different dosage of the Target brand.

 

[alicatt]

Oh, Coy.. I would never abandon you! Or my other BNB buddies. You are all so special to me. I just literally haven't had a moment to breathe. Between work and being miserably sick. I even lost my voice today. I barely got out of bed yesterday, and am not getting much done today either. Dragging my ass around the house as I try to get 2 weeks worth of clothes washed, and put my kitchen back together.

Phil! Thanks for the tip of tapioca. I will have to think about that. I had hoped I would run out and get the bee pollen (royal jelly) today, but I'm not going anywhere. I may just give up and get some online! Might be a better way to get it.

BabyWhisperer! Tell your DH about the ex gf, but keep the emotion out of it. Just lay out the facts, and then go ahead with your original plan. She will hang herself in front of DH, and then it will be done! Also, I am fairly sure I used to use the same protein powder from Metagenics. It is supposed to be good for women with insulin resistance and also hormone imbalances (at least the one I was using). I may start making shakes again. I am in love with the magic bullet, and the yoplait smoothie packages. The yoplait stuff comes with frozen yogurt and fruit in a bag. You add that, milk and I've added the protein powder to it, and presto in about 30 seconds you have a go cup full of smoothie good ness! My diet is actually pretty good, the issue is that the week before I left for Canada I didn't eat all that well, and then while I was in Canada I wasn't taking my pre-natal vitamin (oops). So that combined with being run down and WHAM! I got sick.

Coy - I just can't believe that you haven't had babes yet! I too check in every day hoping that today is the day. What the heck is she doing up there? You sure she hasn't got some crazy glue and is stuck in there permanently?

So I lost my drivers license. Did I tell you guys that? I had to take it out the other day to get into the gated community where a friend lives. Well it isn't in my car, and it isn't in my wallet, and I literally have no clue where it is! The biggest issue is that I can't get the good drugs without it. GROAN. I wonder if I can go into a drug store and give them my CDN drivers license? I would really like to get the good stuff so I could get a good nights sleep. I am pretty achy and my nose is dripping and I'm just well, feeling crappy.

My doggies are pretty awesome though, Zach is very sweet and cuddly and Zoe has been more cuddly since I've been back too. I just keep thinking, another few days and I'll feel better, and will be able to get on with the things I had planned to tackle this weekend. WHEW!